Brooks Newmark

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+ The naked selfie of this cunt +
+ has been removed because the +
+ cunt got Carter-Fuck to threaten +
+ legal action if we left it up +
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Mr Brooks Newmark, Minister for Civil Society (Resigned)

What can one say about the tawdry little tosser? The name is a gift sounding like it’s lifted from a third rate old actor/manager fallen on hard times and playing minor character parts in bad 1950s B movies or a headline from the News of the World circa 1962. Only difference between the Tory sex scandals orf the 60s and today is there are no dodgy prossies and Russian KGB pimps involved. We knew how to rock the establishment in those days.

Come lately to prominence for sexting and emailing snaps orf his decrepit little cock to sad slappers on social sites various. Not really my field but doubtless The Eye can enlighten us. Allegedly at least a dozen photos and more in assorted porno poses. A source told the Sun on Sunday: “He asked her to send an explicit picture back but she refused. The woman had no idea he was married and was horrified when she discovered the truth.”

The victim orf a classic newspaper sting, the horny little cunt was duped into online flirtatious chats and photo exchanges, and sent a graphic snap exposing himself while wearing a pair of paisley pyjamas. After an undercover reporter sent him an explicit picture supposedly of “Sophie”, Newmark then asked for a more explicit picture “Without your hands in the way and legs parted”. He then said: “I’ll send you something in return….”

Caught with his pants down and plastered all over the internet what has a pervie little cunt left to do but to pull a sickie. “I will be beginning residential psychiatric treatment for the next few weeks in the hope that professional help will enable me to salvage my life and my family.”

Mr Brooks Newmark has since resigned his post as Minister for Civil Society, a job that apparantly involved enhancing the exposure orf wimmen in Government circles. Some success surely. He has indicated to the Prime Minister that he will not fight the next erection.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

9 thoughts on “Brooks Newmark”

  3. As we predicted these sleazy cunts must be missing the services of Mr Max Clifford.

  4. While we’re on the subject of politicians, I’m nominating Neil Kinnock. This toucan nosed piece of shit has been sticking said nose out from under his rock lately. Today, he compared Gideon Osborne to Josef Goebbels. Apparently, Gideon has been telling lies for the past four and a half years whenever he’s said that Gordon Brown, aided by Balls and E Miliband, pushed the country in recession.

    I’ve done a bit of research here, and I’ve found that from 1997 until 2007, Gordon Brown was employed as Chancellor of the Exchequer. This job apparently gave him control of the nation’s finances. A job, as it happened, he was completely un-fucking-qualified to hold. Turns out that Brown’s policy of tax and spend, spend, spend, turned a once wealthy nation into a financial basket case.

    It gets worse, because Brown’s complete fucking economic incompetence caused him not only to sell most of the country’s gold, but to first announce to the world that he was selling it. This caused the gold market to collapse, meaning the dumb fat fucker got far less for OUR gold than he would have if he’d kept his fucking mouth shut. He also grandly announced an end to boom and bust, before embarking on the bitch of all spending sprees with OUR money. This caused us to go bust.

    Now, all of this is established fact. Unless you’re in the Labour party of course, in which case the recession was caused by a pink unicorn that became a homicide bomber, after it was told it could no longer collect hen’s teeth.

    I remember this cunt from the eighties. I remember how utterly useless this sheep shagging cock wipe was. I remember how thoroughly despicable and unpleasant he is. I also remember how he went to Brussels and got a cushy job. Then he got his wife a cushy job. And his fuckwit son. They all made a fortune sucking on the public tit. I had hoped he’d fucked off back to Wales, to live a life of sheep rape and counting the money he’s never earned.

    No such luck though. Four years ago, the Unions who support the Labour party put Ed Miliband in charge, and up pops Kinnock, like a particularly foul smelling fart. Like most left wing scum, the only thing Kinnock deserves is a bullet to the temple. Although that’s just my opinion apparently. It makes me physically sick to think that should Buck Toothed Billy get into Number 10 next May, Kinnock will be right there, grinning like the evil little cunt he is.

    • I still like watching that bit where he lost it at the last rally before the election and blew the very real chance he had of getting elected. Thank fuck for that I say. Now if we can just get Milibad to do the same…

      • Remember when he tripped when walking along the shore with his wife? I watch that clip on youtube when I’m feeling down.

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