First I admit that I don’t watch tennis at all, I find it so boring, I would rather watch a BBC boring drama (and I would rather eat my own shit that watch that). I just happened to be flicking through the usual channels of utter wank when I noticed tennis was on BBC 2. Two young ladies were on the court and the constant grunting noises they both uttered when hitting the ball was wince inducing. Why do they do this I thought: it must be so distracting to the crowd who just want to watch this dull excuse for a sport. Maybe they all get their kicks from hearing the players making orgasm noises that sound like they are being shafted by huge cocks up every orifice all at once.
Who knows? Doesn’t make me want to watch it though.
Nominated by: The Wizard’s Sleeve
A bucket of shit
A Chinese 100 year old egg 🥚, supposed to be a delicacy. Or watching women’s tennis 🎾. Not sure which would come first but darn certain that watching women s tennis comes third.
Don’t get me wrong there are some great looking players just like there are some good looking news readers. But just as I don’t want to listen to them I don’t want to watch em play. Can think of a couple of things they could do to entertain me though
6
Whoa whoa whoa. The slightly arousing sounds these ladies make is the only good thing about tennis. That and the uskipt shots of a slipped knicker exposing a nice view. Maria Sharapova always turns me on.
7
*upskirt. The male sounds are worse, its like hitting the ball is as painful as punching a wall.
4
Grunting by tennis players is a common tactic. The players hope that if they grunt loudly enough their opponents will hit the grunt rather than the ball.
9
I am baffled as to why so many of these “top level Female athletes” are overweight with huge beer guts and arses.
Clearly not that taxing is it, you gurning grunting sows? And if you want equal pay to the Men then play five fucking sets like the Men do – might get some lard off you!
Wait while a down on his luck Djokovic realises he can clean up in wimminz tennis until he is 90 just by wearing a wig and saying “I is now a Laydee”!
14
It started in support of Cliff Richard.
Grunt4justice#
Now its traditional.
I like a grunting woman.
5
Fucking Cliff Richard??? Cunt for Justice, more like. Yep Tree dodging, colostomy bag wearing, cuntard that he is!!!
3
I think it started way before that. They were grunting in Navratilova’s heyday.
1
Cliff was abusing small boys, well before Navratilova’s heyday.
Old Biff Clitboxes’ sex abuse is so historical, that the CPS just decided to write it off.
There isn’t even anyone alive to testify in court.
4
The whole historic sex abuse thing was a shitfest. People jumped on the bandwagon, accusing anyone. There was no way to prove ANY allegation, unless an abused 13-year-old now has a kid with the cunts DNA. And in a court, no proof – no case. Yet so many were convicted, on multiple accounts, with NO evidence. It was a massive farce, and it spawned a massive over-reaction to ANY alleged sex crimes during the whole thing. #MeToo is just as bad.
3
I foresee Trans-tennis. They cant play in mens or womens as they are too mainstream bi-gendered.
5
Trans tennis?
They bring their own balls.
12
Ball boys/girls will be renamed soon, not gender neutral enough for the wokies.
3
Already done, EID! Did you never see the Williams ‘sisters’ play?
4
Haha, true. But, despite appearances, they are and always have been women.
2
The ultimate “don’t know if I’d rather have to fight it or fuck it” dilemma.
Morning cunters
7
Geordi, for me, that depends on which sister offers the sex.
2
Venus and Serena grew up in compton, nuff said.
2
Jesus H Fake, did I just say NUFF? Damn gang culture
1
Just Diablo, or Daz, will do my friend.
1
If you watch tennis you deserve what you get!
4
Now and then at least you get some decent looking players Anna Kornakova used to give me the horn, couldnt play tennis for shit but was worth a watch.
Now you have Venis and Penis Williams who are about as sexy as a pair of chimps and you really ahve to wonder if they were both men at some point in their past.
Then of course there was the ugly lesbians, plenty of those and of course the latest bollocks with Covid Jockobitch.
Tennis is bollocks and to add insult to injury it used to over run when chimp 1 or 2 had a meltdown and then it would effect the Moto GP , so as far as im concerned it can all go strait in the bin..
13
Kournikova in tight shorts clearly showing that pussy, mmmm yes! Wang Quiang and Maria Sharapova <3
3
<3 Snooker <3 Especially with that sexy blonde referee bending over to re-spot the balls. She can handle my balls anytime, put her hands in my pockets, that'll make her go red, it would be al-white though when i put my cue in her. Mmmm…
5
I never watch this alleged sport.
I did watch it in the 80s when the ladies wore nice short skirts and small knickers.
Gabriela Sabatini? The Argie?
Yes please.
I assume the modern ones wear a kaftan to not upset the fat Dykes.
12
Tennis in a burqa. Woner if thats why no muslim women in tennis. Plus their male family escort would punch the umpire for saying 15-love.
3
Tennis in a burka might work but in a hijab they’d go for a serve or a smash and just end up taking off like a reverse parachute or a helium balloon. That or they’d just let a bomb off or something.
0
I have noticed that the camera shot always makes sure their pert little backsides are not in close-up shots. It always zooms away at the last moment during a serve. They always used to have a lingering shot. Ah, another loss due to modernity…..
10
The last World Cup was ruined for me by the Mrs Grundy FIFA “anti-sexist” order that crowd shots should not to focus on groups of sexy skimpily-dressed Dutch, Swedish, Brazilian and Senegalese wenches etc. Instead we got close-ups of beer bellies, nostril hair and wrinkled old hags. It was almost as bad as watching the football.
7
Put the announcer and audience noise at 0 and then put the female tennis grunts and moans to 10 it just sounds like porn more or less
7
Venus Williams had to wear huge knickers, to ensure her hairy, big black bollocks never slipped out the side of them on camera.
13
Young Monica Seles couldn’t half grunt back in her heyday and just when she looked like she was taking over the women’s game… Enter a Steffi Graf fan with a knife.
To anybody unfamiliar with the story
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq2Cv77esWI
(2 minutes vid)
Strange stuff.
4
Just watched that, fucking strange.
The opponent with the yellow top on at the end looked like she was doing a Brando impression in the Godfather.
2
I’ll make her an offer she can’t refuse.
1
Tennis is a sport for the wealthy.
The cost of membership to a good club, decent coaching and participation in junior tours, is fucking staggering.
Like other “elite” sports- skiing, sailing, formula 1etc.
The laydees game used to be more entertaining-long rallies, feminine beauty (Ms Evert😋)-now it is all about physical strength.
Just like the modern game of football has been destroyed by the high press game, meaning physicality is more important than skill-soon every team will look like the Nigerian national team☹️👎
Fuck some of the sexier female tennis wimminz? Maybe.
Fuck tennis? Definitely!
🧐
6
Football, 2 goalies and 20 cheating diving whiny overpaid skill-less cunts.
4
Blind linesmen and a biased ref too. Red card to the whole fucking ”sport”.
3
The game of football has indeed been ruined by the high press.
That, billionaires, oligarchs and masturbation tactics (Guardiola) which usually involves having around 90 percent posession of the ball during a match.
👎
3
I hate tennis. Sums up all that’s wrong with the ‘class’ system in this country. There’s probably a Wimbledon Champion from a working class background in the UK but snobbery gets in the way. Say what you want about the US but they’re not afraid to look at working class areas to spot the next champions of a wide range of sports.
5
I want to be a pro e-sports player.
1
Who is the hot player in the picture for this nomination?
1
Looks like Caroline Wozniacki to me.
0
Wimminz want equality, inclusivity and now exclusivity .. it’s like having a spoilt brat at the dinner table. I say give them what they need, a tournament of their own. We could then have an open tournament (equal inclusive), a ripple, a lgbtv8, a miss universe string bikini and a wimminz tourno, each a month apart. The wimminz could then clank about the court in a suit of armor or a burka and grunt to their hearts delight and nobody would give a fuck.
3
I would give a few a fuck.
1
ElD dipping your wick in a head case can be fun .. or life threatening.
1
Never porked a trans, probably never will, unless ‘she’ is sexy and dont look like a man in drag.
0
Hate it.
If this is the racket (pun intended) that they make on court what the hell do they sound like whilst they’re being bum-fucked?
Another thing That I hate is this practice of holding the racket with both hands (applies to “men” as well). It’s not a fucking cricket bat you feeble cunts.
Oh, and by the way girls, stop wearing shorts under your skirts.
Where’s the fun in that? It would be far healthier and more comfortable if you went clamando.
7
I haven’t watched tennis since Steffi Graf retired.
2
I love it when women gasp and moan and work up a sweat.
Morning all.
6
We are on the same page.
1
The thought of Emma Raducanu grunting makes me want to have a wank.
4
New balls please!
2
The screaming is to disguise the sound of the ball off the racket and to piss off their opponent regally. It’s cheating.
And AND some of the cheating bints have even started bringing along TENNIS RACQUETS
2
Just how “energetic” are they anyway. I would have expected a Heavyweight Title Bout to be at least as noisy as the two Boxers stand toe to toe and slug it out. All they are doing is hitting a small ball. I did once hear that the Tennis Authorities were cracking down on all the noise but no such luck.
1
Cant cut down on the women noise without cutting the mens. Guys sound like they punching a wall, girls sound like being fucked. I know which I prefer.
1
Why the fuck is the term “love” used to signify nil in tennis?
Sounds a bit ‘ducky’ to me.
Did Quentin Crisp write the rules?
2
I’ve often wondered that.
Does any cunter know the answer to this bit of trivia?
1
I think it’s something to do with the French word for egg is l’ouef (fuck knows if that’s spelt correctly) and a nought looks like an egg to your average Frenchman. Therefore, love. Fuckin Frogs
1
‘love’ of the game apparently.
1
Grunt away ladies.
1
Even though Timea Bacsinszky has retired, she still gives me the horn.
0
I fell asleep when someone mentioned tennis, What was the post about?
0