Once upon a time, it was the time of year, where the kids would come home from school, with pictures painted in, glitter, and nativity scenes made out of cornflake boxes, bog roll holders and lots of cotton wool and more glitter, oh the little darlings loved the glitter, of the baby Jesus in a manger, with Mary, Joseph, three kings, some shepherds, a few farm animals and a star.
There was excited talk of Father Christmas, not sodding Santa, coming and a list would follow, usually with the favourite doll or toy car headlining the list.
On Christmas morning, excited faces of children and adults would tear open the presents, like hyenas at a fresh kill, and be soooo pleased and grateful for the presents that Father Christmas, not sodding Santa, had bestowed upon them.
Dad got hankys or a scarf.
Mum got a hat and gloves.
The kids got one ‘big’ toy each and other toys to be shared between them, mainly a compendium of games, colouring books and pencils.
The dog, a bone, a real bone and letters of thanks, duly written.
Fast forward to now……
It’s all about what presents you going to get, the latest fucking TV, iPad, iPod, iPhone. The latest top of the bollocks fashion, “I want some ugg boots” Fuck off, no you don’t, you’re fucking five!
“Yeah, but My mate, Chelsea Von Richfuck, is getting an 60 quid Ted Baker bag……for school”. Fucking good for her!
God forbid you buy one present( a good one, mind) “One present? Where’s the fucking rest, surely this is me socking filler?”
AND, have you seen the size of stockings these days, what happened to dads old sock, with your orange, some nuts, chocolate and, in my case, a pair of socks in it.
Now you can get a fucking small car in the size of some of them!
If the tree isn’t groaning under the weight of presents that are getting warmer and warmer under the fairy lights, spilling over the front room, so you can’t see the carpet (or the dog!) bar a bit near the door, it’s a crap Christmas and it’s not fair and forget about sending a text of thanks, why would they do that, the gift wasn’t what they wanted after all!
It’s all commercial consumerism now……spend, spend, fucking cunting spend.
It doesn’t matter anymore if you can’t afford it, just stick it on the plastic.
I’m no Scrooge by any means, and I used to love Christmas, but thanks to the
“I want, I want, I want, you’d better get it, or else” modern society we live in today, it’s totally took the fucking sparkle out of the true meaning of Christmas and now I fucking hate it……..Cunts!
I must be getting old…
Baa Fucking Humbug!
Nominated by: Cuntybollocks
Bets on whether the BBC, the Guardian or the Independent are first to run the story about racist Berliners using their bodies to attack a lorry driven by a peaceful Afghan refugee.
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And how long before Spivey claims it never happened, but was simply staged by crisis actors…?
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Spivey should be cunted every week. His followers are even more cuntish for 2 reasons. Believing the cunt and sending money via paypal to keep the lazy cunt in ciggies and cheap cider as he writes the fucking dog shite. His comments section want a special cunting of its own. Salutations and sending money to a fucking half wit from “Wiley Bob” of Reading praising the cunt Spiv for his latest brain fart that Corbyn and Gideon the ex Tory cunt chancellor are one and the same person if you do several facial takes and draw lines across them. And still the cunts are paying him – mostly out of their benefits money. If he hasn’t been cunted lately can I cunt him again? Please? Pretty please?
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It seems he was a peaceful Pakistani. The Polish lorry driver was dead in the cab, so I expect the Poles to be blamed.
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…. Hold the press on it being the ‘Peaceful Pakistani Immigrant’ although he was arrested … it sounds in the media that it wasn’t him, he only ran as he was being chased.
The ‘real’ culprit is maybe still on the loose. Merkel has visited the scene … she’s got to be shitting it, so wouldn’t it be a let off for her if it wasn’t really this immigrant after all !!!
Hee – Fucking – Haw … she wouldn’t ask them to make up a different story …. would she ?
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ISIS just claimed responsibility so that she couldn’t.
Angela, much as I enjoy watching your German Les Dawson impression whenever you’re in front of a microphone – isn’t it time you fucked off and gave power back to some cunt who actually knows what’s going on and actually has a stake in Germany’s future?
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Nah,
They are blaming it on white supremacist local Berlin council for withdrawing funding for Muslim HGV lessons, he wasn’t really aiming for pissed Chrimbo Christian market shoppers at all.
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You have summed up my feelings exactly; recently I was queuing to buy some coal and there was that fat little fucker Satan (oops) Santa grinning at me from all directions. What ever happened to Father Christmas? He was a bringer of jollity, relaxation and a bit of fun, now he has been supplanted by a Coke (sic) fuelled fiend who is the embodiment of greed and consumerism.
And what twat thought that flashing fairy lights were a good idea? Some of them are enough to induce an epileptic fit.
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I was one of those ungrateful bastards, as a kid my grandparents would scrimp and scrape and buy me a parker fountain pen set, or monogrammed hankies, maybe even socks!
none of which I particularly wanted (action man would have been good). However thank you letters were duly written (under duress with a fountain pen….)
But now later in life as an adult with a reasonable income I like to stock up through the year, I tend to buy what I want when I need it and get the right compatible thing (mainly tools and bits for them) and it would be a bit shit saying that I want a MIG welder for christmas, so I always ask for pants and socks and am not normally disappointed and use the new year as a turn out of my underwear draw.
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I agree wholeheartedly.
That said this year my family is having the most presents ever….WHY…no I didn’t win the lottery I started volunteering in my local charity shop. It’s a gold mine of gifts. I have got my little grandson loads of brand new baby clothes all still on the hangers with original tags. I have got my oldest grandson masses of books and a wooden clock to teach him the time. My son’s and my husband have never had it so good, and my step daughter will wet herself when she sees her shed load of gifts including a mini playboy bunny fridge and 2 fuck off awesome dresses. All for under £100 . So yep my Christmas is on charity terms but no one would know …well except for you cunters OH and the entire family. All of whom don’t give a flying fuck that all their gifts are from a charity shop. Happy Fucking Christmas, thank you rich bastards with more money than sense KERRCHING get in.
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It’s alright Kath my Mrs will fill it up again for you next year!
No point in having Xmas in my house with the constant flotilla of Next, etc., vans throughout the year!
She’s a cunt! Cracking arse though…
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You are right – she has a cracking arse Rebel, best view sat on my face – oops, I guess she wants to leave it till after Christmas before she tells you – sorry mate 😉
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Not you as well!
Fuck me, no wonder I’ve had to install a cheese counter ticket machine!
Watch yourself though she has no shame when it comes to farting during cunnilingous!
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So that’s why the good stuff never makes the fucking shop? Thieving cunt Kath, no wonder I can never find a decent bit of Clarice Cliffe or an original Lowry – you volunteers have robbed it first.
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Actually we don’t the shop I work in is the shop where everything comes that no one wants, and we still pay the same price as the customers. But our shop is the last shop before the rag man or the recycle man, so actually I am saving the stuff from going into waste. You can’t blame me if most people are too choosy to want stuff just because it’s been in a charity shop. Incidentally all the really good items go to all the other shops first and only come to us when they can’t be sold, most of our stuff retails at £1.99 or less.
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I don’t buy a single present for anyone,and nobody buys anything for me. Suits me just fine… Why spend good money on a lot of tat for ungrateful buggers,and if I want something,it’s a pretty fair bet that I already went out and got it for myself.
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Similar. I send out about half a dozen cards because they send me one first. That’s it. I hate christmas. Shops are shut, tv is crap. No decorations in my house, no tree, no lights. I hate hymns, I hate carols. I’m a miserable cunt and I can’t wait for January 2nd.
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I open cards in the vain hope that some senile relative might have put a fiver in,then I chuck them straight on the fire.
I don’t send any,and haven’t for years,but still recieve some from fuckers who probably hope for a mention in my will…..they’re in for a nasty shock. Grabby bastards.
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I love christmas fuck all you “bah bumhuggers” bah humbug of course, my own take on the word. Admit it tho your just lonely bunch of alcoholic bastards with broken families
I agree with the cunting tho, christmas has been commercialised and turned into a present buying holiday pisstake. Take Jesus Christ out of christmas and its more of a happy santa (satan) day. Parents of the modern age must feel the pain of having to come up with a gaming console, trousers, stocking stuffers and whatever else to appease the children.
My mum said christmas sucked when she was a young lass all she got was shabby clothes and if they were lucky 1 gift each. Then again her family were strict, different times then obviously
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Too true about the “alcoholic bastard” T.S., but believe me, I’d rather be “lonely” with a “broken family” than spend another day in the company of that last dreadful woman who,mercifully,packed her bags and fucked off.
Good fucking riddance to her and her appalling family.
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My xmas present came early.
The birch dropped the charges as soon as we entered the courtroom. Her first words to the judge was that she didn’t want to proceed with the allegations she made against me.
I couldn’t believe it, the judge was on my side. Smiling away , any time he spoke to me and then frowning upon her .
The only time the judge got angry with me was when i refused to accept the charges being dropped, as i felt that being accused if making death threats should not be dismissed so lightly, and she should face some kind of punishment.
The judge basically told me to shut up and that we should try to repair our “neighbourly relationship” , to which i replied no, that’s not possible as she’s a lying bitch.
You should have seen the judges face, it must have been the first someone got cleared but wanted the case to carry on.
Anyway, the good times are going to roll again, and let the battle commence……
Thanks again for the good luck messages, it really was appreciated and brought a warm glow to this cold dark heart of mine…….
Cheers…………
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Great – Now take a big shit on her doorstep
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Congrats Birdman, my faith in (Spanish) justice is restored.
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Nice one, birdman… As King Cunt says, shit on her doorstep, or superglue in the keyholes…
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Or superglue her arsehole.
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Nice one birdman. Sounds like that very rare occurence of commonsense has prevailed. Refreshing to hear in today’s times.
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Good stuff.
Still, like you say she gets away with making allegations.
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All that fucking bother and meither for nowt!
Pity you’re a veggie cos for the next week I’d be cooking bacon with all the windows open letting the infidel aroma seep into their home!
Fucking cunts!
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Good result Birdman, at least you gained a moral victory
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Well done birdman, when I get home from work tonight I will pour myself a Jack Daniels and toast common sense for once. Though you are right that the bitch should face some sort of prosecution
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Nice one, glad to hear it mate.
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Good result but no action against the cunt who started it all. Typical request to make it up. Bollocks to that. I would make some suggestions but I expect you are way ahead of me on that.
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The good mood has gone , Merkel has been on saying that she knows that the latest attack will put pressure on refugees seeking safety in Germany.
I knew she wasn’t going to come out , apologize and then resign. But to sympathize with rapugees feelings is surely a new low for this maniac……..
Ich bin Berliner (with a jam filling)….
PS. Cheers again………..
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When Ronnie Reagan was elected U.S. president, there were screams of outrage from “Liberal” types that a former actor should end up in office.
When Don the Combover gets elected, suddenly actors like Robert De Niro (an overrated old ham if ever there was one) are up in arms screaming and lecturing that he’s unfit for office.
So now actors are fit to lecture and influence the masses? In what way are actors now more gifted with knowledge than everyone else?
Robert De Niro is a cunt and his Al Capone was all over the place and nearly ruined The Untouchables.
Should have cast Joe Don Baker…
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I’d like to at least temporarily un-cunt Colin Firth for saying…
“The attention that we actors get is completely disproportionate to our importance”
Spot on…
And also for “Kingsman The Secret Service”, which was loathed by snowflake film critics and their assorted acolytes.
Funny how a lot of “ordinary” people seemed to like it, if the box office takings were anything to go by…
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Nigel Farage has caused a snowflake storm from criticising Ol’Murky.
Fuck em Nigel, let them bleat.
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The truth is staring them in the face but they are blind to it as it does not conform to their world view.
Not until they are personally affected will they even look at the facts. Mind you there was one daft cunt who was raped in the Calais jungle and did not report it as it could have a negative effect on refugees.
Simple point is the policy was wrong, is wrong and will always be wrong.
Trouble is the cunts who are forcing the policy on us ordinary folks cannot admit they are wrong irrespective of how many outrages there are.
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Agreed… Give ’em hell, Nige…
And fuck Merkel, fuck snowflakes, and fuck Saint Brendan the cunt…
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Pack it in Kilary https://i.sli.mg/ydVSw8.jpg Trump just trumped your fatarse haha beaten by the orangeman himself http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img922/999/6VwYhn.gif
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This world is fucked… I’ve never seen such ungracious losing (not even that miserable cunt, Kenny Dalglish, comes near it) in all my life… Is this the norm now? Some cunt loses an election (or a referendum) and they simply refuse to accept a democratic vote and its outcome?… Cunts like Kilary and Sandpaper Snatch Miller are a disgrace and have no regard for the peoples’ voice…One can imagine if 2016’s ‘values’ applied to 1987… That windbag of a cunt, Kinnock, saying he lost the General Election because of one (or all) of the following:
1. The Sun newsapaper
2. Scargill’s secret army
3. Michael Grade’s BBC
4. Spitting Image
5. Channel 4
6. Scouse Cunt ‘Degsy’ Hatton and the Militant Tendency
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Snowflake Cox Worshippers are cunts.. This from Snowlflake Lurcio (and cunt), Ralf Little: ‘We now live in a world where Nigel Farage mocks Brendan Cox in his grief, and none of Farage’s supporters will think this is wrong.’
So it’s alright for Cox to use his dead wife for political points and publicity? And it’s OK for Cox to start it (and it’s not OK for Farage to respond?)? And let’s not mention Saint Brendan’s ‘inappropriate behaviour’ at a certain well known charity, shall we?… Cox has a smell of the McCanns about him: leveraging tragedy for publicity… One snowflake saint is created when Jo Cox died, and now they’re creating another one out of her husband…. With his help, of course…
Trying to justify 12 deaths in Berlin by playing the Jo Cox card?! Fuck off to hades, you snowflake mongs…
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He proudly wears the armour of pity, and with his twitter army at his side he knows he is pretty much a no go area. And they call other people “haters”! Don’t get me started on that word….
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The latest tweet from Brendan Suxsix Cox says “haters gonna hate”.
Doss cunt.
The most prominent showing of hatred i see, comes from lefties and muzzies.
But that word “hater”, what a load if shite. Anybody who mocks, argues or doesn’t buy into the shite a sleb spouts is labelled a hater.
It’s pretty childish and just makes me hate more………
George Michael has a song called “praying for time” and in it there’s a line that I’ve never forgot since i heard it when i was fifteen.
He sang “its hard to love, when there’s so much to hate”.
I still believe that rings true………..
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George had it right there… Macca’s ‘Live And Let Die’ was on the radio this morning, and when it goes ‘You used to say live and let live… But if this ever changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry…Say live and let die’ sums it up… It’s about time these cunts (and Merkel) got a taste of their own medicine… Fuck the lot of them…
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So, let me get this right… Brendan Cox, the distraught grieving widow is playing out feuds and score settling on social media and is constantly in the media?…
When my mother died of cancer I didn’t go out for months… I certainly didn’t piss about on Twitter and take part in childish name calling, ‘look at me’ mawkish ‘tributes’ and mention her every five fucking minutes… Terrible what happened to Jo Cox (whether I agreed with her ‘policies’ or not), but this cunt will dine out on this McCann/Hillsborough style for years now…
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I’ve seen people more upset when their budgie died than Brendan was the day after his wife was murdered.
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I note that both Jo and Brendan Cox came throught the leftard recruiting ground of “charities” … you know the agenda that they dance too. Dont dump the grief thing on me. Quite frankly not interested. The left are the problem, not the solution.
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A brilliant cunting, and again an observation which is totally true. Christmas of today has been hijacked by the disease of cuntish greed and the “Want want want” of today’s self-entitlement society.
I don’t go in for Christmas like I used to, as that once-seasonal atmos has been lost under a sea of greedy shit.
A nice atmos to me is getting up of a morning to a thick layer of frost on the fields, temperatures like the last Ice Age and church bells peeling out…not some bubblegum wankery on the TV hosted by braindead fuck apes who aren’t even old enough to shave.
One present (even if it is the thick end of 500 nicker) isn’t good enough these days and people have to be seen to be buying enough gifts to sink an aircraft carrier.
Again there’s the usual recycled shit Christmas albums been dragged out every year. No wonder people say “Christmas can cunt off”. Christmas cards are twatting pointless. People who don’t bother any other time of the year might as well save their money. Fucking stamps cost more than the cards. What a twat.
The works party is another thing to cunt. People who can’t fucking stand each other, being indirectly made to get along “because its Christmas”. Bollocks on that. I’ll celebrate it in my own way…with a bottle and decent curry. “Big Day” my arse. Christmas of today’s society can polish my knob.
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My dad was always happy with socks or aftershave, my mum got an Engelbert Cuntberdinck album, perfume and some choccies, and my sister loved her Adam & The Ants tape and her Look-In annual…. Me? A Man United kit (the 70s Admiral ones were ace!) and a Daleks annual… Fuck X-Box, Apple,and all that other overpriced fucked in 6 months shite…
Even the Mars selection stockings are gone now… The net stocking with opal fruits, treets, revels, spangles and all that… Now it has to be overpriced shite like Lindt, an extortionate chocolate ‘Santa’ and a box of crap for over a fiver…
And anyone who buys a ‘celebrity’ fragrance for Xmas is a fucking mong…
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Socks have always been a staple stocking filler.
You can never have too many socks…..unless you’re Heather Mills…..
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I’m just happy with the day off……
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Well you say that but if the shoe was on the other foot…
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100% Agree norman and the Mars selection sock was mint. I couldn’t give a shit about the Mars bar either (me Mam used to score for that) but the Spangles and dark chocolate Bounty were my wake up treat on many a Christmas morning. I’d be up sparrows fart chomping away and the old fella was up putting the bird in, can of Double Diamond in hand.
In my house there was no sweets or booze before 12pm. Christmas Day, all bets were off!
And not having to worry about switching your phone off Xmas Eve for the endless fucking texts at all hours of the night! Get a life cunts! These days I switch mine off teatime Xmas Eve and on again teatime Boxing day. Cunts!
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Christmas is a cunt and so is that Santa cunt.
Works one day a year and spends the rest judging you and deciding if you’ve been naughty or nice.
Sit on ya lap in Debenham’s Santa’s grotto for twenty quid?
Fuck off ya fiddler…
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And how many “modern parents” will do the overt virtue signal of (pretending to wisper so that every cunt can hear) asking Santa if there’s no way that Poppy’s present could go to a local orphanage…
“I SAY SANTA, IS THERE NO WAY POPPY’S PRESENT COULD GO TO THE LOCAL ORPHANAGE!?!”
“No, there isn’t. The nearest orphanage is 150 miles away now that you and your cunt friends have moved into the renovated local orphanage as high priced apartments. I was doing Santa back then and we used to have all the kids come here, with eyes like saucers waiting to see what they got and then doing swapsee’s round the back so that they got what they liked. Not like now with you and your pretentious little shits reeling off the whole of the Argos catalogue. Those apartments were £750k back then but now I bet that’s £1.5mil? So yeah, I’m sure the kids in the orphanage will truly appreciate your generous gesture of a £2.50 piece of chinky shit! Oh and by the way, your husband was in here earlier buying some high-end jewellery which…wasn’t for you! Merry Xmas you horsey-faced cunt!”
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