I like Easter.
The fiesta days are always the Friday and Monday and it’s one of the only times of year that I can turn my phone off.
To me it signals the beginning of summer.
The weather is usually nice enough to go to the beach and enjoy a meal and some drinks on a restaurant terrace.
I know that the long, warm summer is nearly here.
I can get the connection between eggs and Easter.
New life, new beginnings.
I am not sure about chocolate eggs and the horrible Cadbury Cream Eggs have had their own, well deserved cunting.
Eating lamb at Easter was a brilliant move from the meat marketing board.
To remember the crucification of Jesus and his rising day’s later, kill and eat a juvenile animal.
But I like lamb.
Cooked slowly in the oven for at least 5 hours until it just falls from the bone.
Don’t forget the mint sauce.
I also like hot cross buns.
Difficult to buy here so I send Mrs Cunter to scour the British supermarkets.
Lightly toasted on the outside, more so on the inside, and with plenty of butter.
You can imagine my horror when I saw the advert on television for these tasty treats.
They were advertising hot cross buns with CHEESE, for fuck’s sake.
Also a fucking CHOCOLATE variety.
If that wasn’t enough they also had….. Wait for it…… A BANOFFE hot cross bun.
What sort of evil cunt would think these things up?
In the board room of the hot cross bun factory during a ‘brain storming’ session some absolute fucking cunt put forward the idea and instead of sacking him on the spot and calling the police, they all went along with it.
It is bad enough that foreigners want to fuck around with Christian traditions, but it now seems that the enemy is within.
Leave my hot cross buns alone!
Nominated by : The Artful Cunter
The spouse descended to even lower levels of depravity last week – as an Easter “treat” she had a bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Hot Cross Bun Flavour, who one of her cronies described as “yummy”.
Hags, the pair of them.
15
Hot cross buns are racist and fascist, that cross on the top may as well be a swastika. I only eat kebabs during Ramadamadingdong.
13
Daffodils showing off
Little newborn lambs
Nature coming out of its coma, rebirth.
I despise Easter,
Don’t care for spring,
Because I hate summer.
That’s what it’s hinting at.
Summers coming!!
Sweaty bollocks, blistering heat,
Knobheads having barbecue loudly .
Water shortages
Bloody salads
I miss winter already.
18
Agee 100% MNC. I hate the summer for the following:
It brings out all the morons and lowlifes.
Traffic jams.
Invasion of my seaside town by noisy, dirty, selfish litter- dropping, out-of-town cunts.
Loud music from cars.
Noisy bloody kids.
Baking-hot weather.
Sleepless nights.
6
Think you pretty much nail it there Mystic 👍
1
And where in fuck did chocolate caterpillars come from ? The egg I get, the caterpillar I do not.
6
They’re warming us up for when we have to eat real caterpillars. It’s an African delicacy you know? It’s all for your own good……and the fucking Polar bears obviously.
9
Here’s something Easter related that you might not know. Even though Jesus was known as a carpenter, he never actually sang on any of their albums….
28
Yes, another fraud.
I once applied to be a `Supreme` but was escorted from the audition studio.
10
No Baby Love for you there Sam. You were treated appallingly.
3
And poor Karen still died of starvation, despite him boasting about his trick with the bread roll and fish fingers.
Bombastic bastard.
6
He was quite cross about that.
Coat
3
Don’t worry, it won’t be long before Easter will be joined by Ramadan as an ifficial religious holiday, if not replaced. I went to church on Sunday and, as I looked around at a dwindling congregation, became very sad and melancholy about the loss of a country I once knew.
17
Mostly a satanic/Babylonian affair like xmas.The Roman Saturnalian orgies to Ishtar (easter) produced offspring thus sacrificed nine months later at crimble but now done symbolically with the annual turkey holocaust as with the wine & wafers of catholicism.
All religions are essentially inverted Luciferian rituals.What sort of god other than say, Baal or Moloch,would look approvingly upon slicing up (and sucking the blood in one particular ‘religion) of an 8 day male child…sans anaesthetic ?
0
Christianity seems to be willingly giving ground to
Islam.
Wants to be friends.
If history teaches us anything it’s to robustly protect your assets and
Don’t tread lightly.
Did not Richard the Lionheart have 2700 Muslim prisoners of war beheaded at the fallen city of Accre?
Now that’s showing a clear message.
Can’t imagine Justin Welby having that sort of can do attitude?
23
Probably where you get Easter eggs from.
Moor heads they should call them
7
The More heads the better says I…
7
King Charles the Woke would go a long way toward restoring our respect for the Monarchy by having Suckdick Khunt, Humza Useless and 2698 other Muslims beheaded on the 6th of May as part of his coronation celebrations.
21
MJB I have thought often what a pity Charles lll is not more like Charles l & ll.
Send Harry Hewitt and his missus off to the Tower give them a week in a damp cellar so they can whine some more and then — beheading. He could also do the same to those old cunts Mandy Blair and Kweer. Plus a good flogging for the Ferguson battleship.
10
Rishi Sunak would go a long way toward restoring our faith in government by taking a leaf out of Oliver Cromwell’s book.
7
Your head is on upside down, from what I remember.
1
What a delightful, well written, eloquent cunting.
Our Lord, Jesus, best ROSC ever.
5
Because he did manual labour DCI.
Chippie by trade,
But did some commercial fishing
Bit of agricultural work.
Robust see?
Bounced back.
Although if he turned up on site in sandals I’d send him home.
Correct PPE.
Son of God or not.
11
Should have opened a restaurant after his loaves and fish trick.
11
JCs
Best fishfinger butties in Galilee
15
I’m not keen on marketing department s at all as they are responsible for television advertising and it’s constant vile affrontery.
Experimental hot cross buns can fuck off as well.
Oven.
10
Fuck Easter and its creepy traditions. Jeebus died for us then comes back to life. Therefore, he didn’t die for anyone.
Fuck eating lamb like some stone-age peasant.
Fuck Easter eggs, although it’s funny watching Christians celebrating chocokate baby chicken abortions.
Has he risen? If not, turn up the oven.
6
Nothing says “Happy Easter” better than receiving an Easter card portraying a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a peice of wood….
7
He has risen….
Well that’s what the current Ms LDC was told whilst under the duvet earlier.
6
That photo is misleading. Those kids are screaming in terror and that’s Suzy Iz I a Wimminz in the background. He’s got a basket of chocolate eggs with butt plugs inside. It’s the modern way.
6
2 weeks of fucking brats on holiday, if they aren’t in school they should be in the workhouse.
10
Too right.
These days you can’t get one for love nor money when your chimney needs swept.
4
… Having enjoyed these cheese and caramelised onion hot cross buns I must confess it was money well spent in r&d.
Simply lovely.
3
Where did you purchase these delights CEO?
1
They sound suspiciously akin to Quiche.
Don’t get me any Cuntymort.
I won’t eat owt beginning with Q.
Apart from quim.👅
6
I always had you down as a Quinoa man myself, NMC.
0
They were tesco finest, Mort. There might be some going on the cheap today.
Couldn’t really taste the caramalisation, but the sweetness from the bun was there. Genuinely displeases to think I’ll have to wait another 12 months for more.
0
Well I’m sat sitting here watching the wife eat another of those disgusting Cadbury’s Creme Eggs to accompany the coffee I’ve just made her.
Fucking horrible things.
Morning all.
7
Tell her the goo inside is made out of water, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, lots of sugar, artificial colouring and calcium chloride (stabiliser). A whole ‘egg’ is 187 calories (sources vary) and provides 2/3rds of your daily recommended fat intake.
3
Cuntologist: Ron will be too busy “knocking one out” whilst she performs fellatio on the cream egg.
Happy Easter!
3
Creme eggs are fucking revolting. And those poofs on that advert made them even more disgusting.
5
Wasn’t there some lying bastard who was supposed to have fed thousands of people with a few loaves and a couple of fish, that took the biscuit for me.
1
Mis, you really should try quiche. You can also use They/Them pronouns after consuming. I eat my Missuses quiche and have experienced none of this gender identity bollocks.
2
I feel your pain, the wife bought some Jaffa cake hot cross buns – two things that are nice on their own but fucking disgusting when combined…
2
I enjoy Easter and Dracula Day 9Halloween o some), but Christmas just drags these days. Far too much build-up and hawking of tat by the retail giants.
Too much sickly novelty food; prosecco soaked truffles and salted caramel quail eggs with pigs in blankets stuffed in tangerines with a chilli jam glaze.
1
Yes, CP, it’s not just hot cross buns that are farted about with. Try buying a traditional Christmas Pudding, stuffed with fruit and laced with brandy.
Oh dear, no, it has to be cranberry and orange, with a melted middle of sickly goo, and as for a traditional turkey roast, forget that. Walnut, pistachio and cranberry stuffing, with fig and walnut coating!
Oh, do fuck off, what’s wrong with pork, sage and onion stuffing and a topping of streaky bacon?
2
Have to say the chocolate chip hot cross buns are very tasty. Easter is great, not only do we celebrate the lord’s resurrection but we indulge on some good old paganism alongside of it.
Even better in the original 13 month year New Year’s Day occurred at this time of year.
Surprised no woke type hasn’t condemned the Church for cultural appropriation of pagan festivals yet.
Think I’ll have a beer or two to celebrate now.
2
Sadly I agree.Too commercialised.Same as Christmas.
0
To be honest I like Easter. Always preferred it over Christmas. Getting lighter at night, getting warmer, Summer to come, can go golfing again. Reading some of the comments I’m in the minority!
1
Imagine being on a crucifix. What a way to spend Easter..!
0
Just like Christmas, the hipster cunts and modern parent knobends have turned Easter into a shitshow. Cunts having Easter Trees, fucking trees with eggs on them instead of baubles. And there’s some twat near us (a woman, naturally) has one of them trees and a ‘Happy Easter’ banner in the window. Joke is, it very probably has fuck all to do with any christian beliefs. It’s all substandard crap from Poundland and Wilko lapped up by total morons and cunts. Easter is now bracketed with Halloween, Valentine’s Day, St Patrick, and Bonfire Night for tacky tat and knobheads shanting it up and just buying crap for the sake of it.
3
I agree Norm.
We need to get back-to-basics: dress up as Centurions and crucify IsAC’s Cunts of the Year.
2