My fellow Cunters
For your cuntsiderarion:
Greta Thunberg and her burgeoning career as a pop star.
“She’s no stranger to love
She knows the rules unt
So do I
A full cunt-mit-ment is
What’s she’s looking for
She ain’t getting it
From any fuckin guy….”
You just know her parents are going to release a Greta’s greatest hits album.
It will sit nicely alongside their other “special” daughter’s efforts.
Admin thinks we should do a nomination, to select suitable “Cover Versions” for her to perform. (Perhaps a Top 3 or Top 5 will do it – Day Admin)
Any suggestions 😉👍
(Examples – “When I’m Licking Windows” by George Formby, “Net Zero White Christmas” – Bing Crosby, “I’m still Spazzing” – Elton John, “Who’s That Cunt” – Madge – Day Admin)
Nominated by: Cuntfinder General
She should be trussed up like a Christmas turkey and handed over to Mr. Cunt Engine, for a punishment bumming par excellence.
It will help her to hit those high notes.
I commend this to the house.
Thank you.
15
Down Syndrome Girl
You came and you
Fucked My World
Michael Jackson.
11
Radio Ga Ga – Queen
I’m Going Slightly Mad – Queen
I want To Break You in – Queen
8
Alternatively, with reference to its COP26 speech, Radio blah blah blah
7
Dylan……”Hard Rain A Gonna Fall.”
7
It Started with a Fist
Hot Chocolate
11
Or maybe a fisting? Lovely image. You’re welcome.
6
If I had a hammer – Fred West
13
You can always borrow Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”
7
Spasticus Autisticus – Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Earth Mong – Michael Jackson
14
Hit me with your hockey stick – Ian Dury and the Blockheads.
Alternatively, Hit me with your ugly stick.
8
Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot – The Merrymen
Hot In The City – Billy Idol
6
The sun has got his central heating on (how dare he!) – Ambrose and his Orchestra
9
Sandy Shaw – Puppet on a String
The Wombles – Remember You’re A Mönger
George Formby- When I’m Licking Windows
10
Ah – the late, great, Ian Dury the people’s poet. Please allow me to cut and paste his lyrics to this most appropriate ditty:
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I wibble when I piddle
Cos my middle is a riddle
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I dribble when I nibble
And I quibble when I scribble
Hello to you out there in Normal Land
You may not comprehend my tale or understand
As I crawl past your window give me lucky looks
You can be my body but you’ll never read my books
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m knobbled on the cobbles
Cos I hobble when I wobble
Swim!
So place your hard-earned peanuts in my tin
And thank the Creator you’re not in the state I’m in
So long have I been languished on the shelf
I must give all proceedings to myself
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus, I’m spasticus
I’m spasticus autisticus
54 appliances in leather and elastic
100 000 thank yous from 27 spastics
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Widdling, griddling, skittling, diddling,
Fiddling, diddling, widdling, diddling spasticus
I’m spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
Spasticus, spasticus
Spasticus autisticus
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
I’m spasticus!
Spasticus!
11
No, I am Spasticus!
7
well done, must have taken ages.
Saw the stage play, never forget him.
2
They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa! Jerry Samuels.
9
Stick to licking windows dear.Utter moon faced mong.Throw it off a cliff.
10
Beatles……”Baby You Can’t Drive My Car.”
6
Something In The way She Moves – the Beatles
Don’t Stand So Close to Me – The Police
Every Little Thing She Does Is Tragic – The Police
The Twats Are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy
A Cunt Too Much – ACDC
8
Joe Dolce….”Shaddup Your Face.”
11
Oh, yes! Good one, Freddie.
6
Stopped “Vienna” by Ultravox getting to No. 1. What a massive cunt. Fall down a well, Joe. Bastard.
6
Downs dowñs -status Quo
Anything by Simple Minds
Fake spastic trees-radiohead
8
Chromosome is where the heart is- Elvis
The immigrant mong-Led Zep
Like a muppet on a string-sandi Shaw
8
♪ ♫ Woke Me Up Before You Go-Go ♫
9
“There’s a green bitch kid that’s going round
Turding the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon ha tja tja tja
She’s an old faced brat that’s been for sail
Now she’s back and no ones safe
Stool pigeon Ha tja tja tja
5
How Dare You – 10CC
8
Greta’s Sex Pistols playlist:
Anarchy in the UK
Pretty Vacant
Friggin’ in the Riggin
7
Don’t let your son go down on me…
8
Elton John and George Michael
How apt
4
“Don’t let your son, go downes on me…….
….but lt your daughter, if you think she ‘orta….”
5
“There’s a shite in my bucket, dear Greta, a shite!”
9
Utopia Banished,Napalm Death.
(And replaced by a windmill.)
6
Burden In My Land – Soundgarden
2-4-6-8 Lane Motorway – Tom Robinson
Blah Blah Blah – Trio
With or Without Fuel – U2
Shine On You Crazy Diamong – Pink Floyd
9
Greta’s Credence Clearwater Revival playlist:
Downs on the corner
Have you ever seen the rain?
Who’ll stop the rain?
Bad mong rising
Travellin’ Bandwagon
Wrote a mong for everyone
Talkin’ out my back door
It came out of the sky
Run through the jungle (while you still can)
Sinister Purpose
6
Who’s That Girl? – Annie Lenox
4
Stupid Girl – Garbage
Devil Woman – Cliff Richard
Shaddapa ya face – Joe Dolce
4
Nice one FMC, I knew Garbage did something appropriate but couldn’t remember the title.
3
Joan Armatrading……
Down to Zero
Drop the Pilot
Turn Out the Light
Call Me Names
3
Brain Damage – Pink Floyd
8
A distant sound of thunderbuckets
5
Back in Black – Justin Trudeau
5
Well crafted, sir!
0
In the summer time Mongo Jerry,
And of course the one we all want to see her do at Karaoke, Radiohead’s Creep.
I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.
5
Wreaking ball ( breaker) – Miley Cyrus
2
Wrecking, my phone’s a cunt!
3