A Challenging Wank

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Recently on this esteemed site, a certain Mr Cunt Engine admitted to (and I quote) ‘knocking one out to a picture of Diane Abbott (wearing mis-matched shoes)’. One can only conclude that the gentleman concerned either has a shoe fetish, or was considerably under the influence at the time. (Or both – NA)

Now for a while, I’ve been toying with the idea of putting up a nomination entitled ‘a challenging wank’, but wasn’t sure if it would meet the criteria for a cunting. Anyway, Admin. have given their blessing, and inspired by Mr Engine’s onanistic excesses, I’ll proceed.

Okay; so what to my way of thinking actually constitutes a ‘challenging wank?’. Well, I think we could reach a fair degree of consensus as to what constitutes ‘an unchallenging wank’; a five knuckle shuffle to lascivious thoughts of a Salma Hayek soapy tit job for example;

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/13600616/salma-hayek-54-purple-bikini-celebrates-2020/

Ergo, a ‘challenging wank’ is the opposite; an attempt at self-fulfilment while lost in perverse thoughts of someone considerably plain or unattractive. The challenge is completed if the proverbial ‘happy ending’ is achieved.

As I’m actually putting this nom. up, I’d better kick it off. In moments of perversity, usually alcohol-induced, I’ve done the biz to Joan Rivers, Celene Dion, Barbra Streisand, Kathy Griffin and (heaven help me) Emma Thompson. Each one a bit of a challenge in her way.

However I couldn’t get a rise with the assistance of a lorry-load of Viagra from the likes of Yoko ‘the Wail’ Ono, Angela ‘The Fuhrer’ Merkel, silicon skank Madonna, Emily Thornberry or the queen herself, Flabbott the Hutt. Now these really do constitute ‘a challenging wank’!.

Need I say more? Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of IsAC!

Nominated by: Ron Knee

165 thoughts on “A Challenging Wank”

    • Come to think of it LLF, in that picture there’s more than a passing resemblance to the great Sir Bernard.

      • She looks like a cross between the slithy Gove and a sumo wrestler. If I’m not mistaken, there’s a begging ad for apacky kids, and I’m sure she appears as mother/ carer.
        She needs to be shut in an enclosed space with the nation’s Boxing Day gaseous emissions.

  2. Those is a challenging nom which to comment.
    What is the point of wanking unless one is turned on?
    Trying to turn one’s libido off whilst trying to climax is like a tug of war.

  3. I don’t get jackin’ it to celebrities these days as some of the hottest women you’ll ever see are on Chaturbate, Only Fans (leaked to free porn sites), etc. Tits are out, pussy is out, dildos, they talk to you, etc. And these women are in the realms of possibility of you actually fucking them. And you hear a lot of gossip about actresses being awful company, they just talk talk talk about themselves. Their mouths are for megalomania not slurping on your non-celebrity Johnson!

  6. The most challenging wank would be a wank over a bloke. I bet there’s one or two dirty bastards on here who’ve done that. Own up!
    And before you ask, no.

  7. Challenging wank? That would have to be the outright winner of Cunt of the Year, Meghan ‘Mother of all Cunts’ Markle.

    • Wanking over it/Markle is surely bestiality.
      And another thing about Jo Brand… Why in Dog’s name would anyone dye their hair that colour? Indeed, is it dye, or has she had an accident with an – ostomy bag?

  8. Charlie Dimmock
    ‘Dr ‘Gillian McKeith.
    Clarissa Dickson Wright
    Pat Butcher
    Ian Blackford

    • CDW is dead, so questionable, unless you are a hospital electrician.
      “Dr.” Gillan is a sort of blonde Fergie (Duchess, not football manager), and might make a passable rubber enema nurse…

    • Blackford’s luscious Highland & Island pout suggests that he may be Professor of the Pink Oboe.

  9. Brigitte Bardot went from a sure fire certainty to nigh-on impossible in just 30 years.

    And have I missed it, or has nobody suggested Princess Anne yet?

    • You’re right about Bardot Geordie. She looks like the wreck of the Hesperus.
      Princess Anne however, time was as a young lad (many moons ago now), the sight of her in riding coat and tight jodpurs would give me a copper’s torch and no mistake.

      • Perhaps you could imagine yourself bent over her knee while she gives your bare buttocks a jolly good thrashing with her riding crop? Would that relight your torch, Ron?

  10. David Fuller’s home video collection would prove a challenging wank.for most.

    Any slapper from Reader’s Wives was a challenge. Fucking minging.

  11. Was it the Marquis de Sade who said “Feathers are a turn-on; a turkey is pure perversion”?

      • Off topic, but if Rainbow was remade, but with real thespians instead of puppets, who would play Bungle, Zippy and George?
        I’m sure it would be banned, in its original form, 2 low IQ and 1 super aggressive character.

      • Bungle – Benedict Cumberbatch
        Zippy – Gary Oldman
        George – Emily Blunt
        Jeffrey – Michael Caine (playing him drunk ala Educating Rita)

        Watched in 3D on LSD of course.

  12. Let’s be honest, the wives/partners/girlfriends of most IACers would probably be a challenging wank.

    • Apparently she’s been warned by the police that she must wear her Halloween mask at all times to avoid alarming the general public.
      Wank Factor?
      0/10.

    • Oooh yeeeess!
      The thought of her rubbing Wall’s Cream of Cornish, with HAND-PICKED bourbon vanilla pods, into my body is simply divine!!

  16. I’m sure Ron that this challenge has got to aimed at the club 18-30 club who have got plenty reserve in the tank, now my age group, mid 50’s onwards would consider it such a shame to waste a dose of butter over something that doesn’t deserve time on the Hand pump, seems like hard work mate, but whatever cranks your handle.!!

  17. Laurel Hubbard getting sucked off by Angela”the gob “ raynor in just her bovva boots! (The dirty slut)

  19. Challenging wank, eh?

    That must be BLM Uk’s Poster gurrrl Sasha Johnson.

    After her carers have been sacked for being unvaccinated.

    Picture her sweaty, “raspberry” body, her incontinence pants, running over with foul smelling cocktail of shit, piss and menstrual monkey blood.
    Her floppy titties, covered in a foetid concoction of drool, vomit, regurgitated baby food and crusty snot.

    Ah yes-but which hole to explore first, with your tongue?
    The anus, her scabby stench trench, her rancid navel, her mouth, her ear holes or perhaps the .357 bullet hole in her head? (Error corrected. Clearly you were getting a bit excited there – Day Admin)

    Try that, you wankers😀👍

    • Sasha Johnson?? Fucking hell.
      This site has its standards CG, so don’t be surprised if Admin’s on for a quiet word.

      (“speechless” – there’s a quiet word for you, ha! – Day Admin)

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