Ant McPartlin

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I would hereby like to nominate Ant Mcpartlin for a cunting of the highest order.

This over sized fore-headed cunt wrench, with the talent of a mummified slug, has once again demonstrated why abortion should be legal.

Now the cunt has been involved in a RTA causing injury to others, more than likely when his fucking fore head collided with passing traffic.

He is to TV what the bomb of Hiroshima was to landscape fucking gardening, but that was a one off event, whereas this cunt is akin to genital warts and keeps coming back.

I have never posted before, but enjoyed the many cuntings, given with great accuracy by others.

But I felt I had to nominate as this prick has reached a 10 on my cunt’ometer.

Thank you my fellow cunters

Nominated by Dry Itchy Cunt

I am struggling to understand how this piece of donkey smegma has managed to dine out on such a paucity of talent. This cunt has miraculously managed to rise to the surface of TVs swamp of shite and become very rich and successful to boot.

I simply cannot stand this cunt and his atrophied sidekick. His alleged drink driving stunt has resulted in the injury of a three year old child. This places him at the Blair and Adonis mantle of cuntitude, in my book. A high price to pay for ridding this beloved turd from the nation’s idiot lanterns, but one can only pray that the cunt receives a substantial custodial sentence. It will be a true travesty of justice if some soppy judge lets him off the hook with a fine and suspended sentence.

He will be a marked man in jail. Try presenting Saturday Night Takeaway when your arsehole is the size of a dinner plate. Cunt.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

44 thoughts on “Ant McPartlin”

  1. The fuckin “Poor lonely Declan Donelly” hysteria!

    Fuck me till I crash my car! Just cos his best and it seems ONLY mate crashed his motor there has been more outpouring of greif and tears shed for his sidekick than when Lady Die got into a pissed up blokes Merc.
    Every cunting headline makes out that this multimillionaire is “DEVASTED BEYOND WORDS!” and “HOW WILL HE GO ON!” just cos the bloke he cant do ANYTHING with has been on a drink,drugs and dodgy driving binge.
    #HelpDecHeal
    #ImDecsFriend
    #Were Here4UDec
    #StayStrongLonelyDec.

    This really is the 9/11 of the showbiz world.

    • I hated the cunt back in the day when he was on ‘Byker fuckin Grove’.

      In fact that shit stain wank programme along with that weird shit programme set in the house (No.30???) with the horrible creepy wizened Snatchy Todsvikg creature marked for me, the demise of kids TV as the lefty producers and common purpose agenda setters started to indoctrinate the masses.

      • Number 73 was the show that featured the much despised tuppence flicker Toksvig… I loathed Number 73 because it was absolute crap and because of that Toksvig cunt (muncher), but my hatred for it also stemmed from it replacing Sally James and Tiswas…

      • Iggy Pop did manage to cause a hilarious stink on Number 73 when he pretended to shag a giant teddy bear.

      • The only reason to watch No. 73 was ‘Dawn’ in the camel toe leggins and roller skates.

  2. Yeah but at least in jail they can show films on his forehead.

    The Tefal cunt!

  3. Sorry but EMERGENCY CUNTING REQUEST! Jezza.

    Kicks out Owen Smith over Brexitt but defends anti-semites?

    SCUM CUNT.

    • Already nominated. You’re too slow!
      Plus if you can’t be bothered to write it up, nor can we. We don’t do requests. Try LBC.

    • It’s a patsy sacking, in order to pretend to show the liebour heartlands, who voted massively to leave that he (dustbin) somehow is ‘pro’ brexit.

      I don’t think he actually needed to sack Jones for this to be apparent, as all the educated Cunters amongst us already know that what a turncoat shambling say anything, no moral or social compass no mark cunt of a shambling commie cunt comrade dustbin already is….. And if he was really pro Brexit the continued membership of the customs union would not be part of his policy, as dictated by rabid deniers of democracy Queer Kunt Stammer and ‘the Lord’ Analldonis amongst others.

      However and as said many times before, those liebour heartlands will allways vote for the red rosette even if a gay transsexual pig was wearing it… If only they’d wake up.

    • You could nominate Corbyn on a daily basis and it still wouldn’t be sufficient!

  5. The current Justice System, with DPP Alison Saunders (uselessness personified) at the helm, will move Heaven & Earth to let this multimillionaire purveyor of bread & circuses off with a slap on the wrist. He’s a fucking menace to the public good, both on and off screen.

    Stick the pisser in a cell with Venables and Worboys for life… 8 years?… ha ha! Throw away the fucking key. Cunt.

    • As much as I dislike Anna Soubry (unfortunately but aptly attributed to Sourby in the article) for once I totally agree with her comments about Alison Saunders (aka Tulip Tattsyrup- League of Gentlemen local shop fame) regarding the recent rape trial fiasco:

      Tory MP Anna Sourby condemned her “ill-informed comments”, adding: “I fear Alison Saunders is part of the problem.”

      Barrister and judge Nick Rhodes said Ms Saunders “displays the precise complacent attitude” that was at the root of recent failures.

      Who knows what the outcome will be. But if found guilty (and by all accounts there is not much doubt), either he will get nothing more than a slap on the wrists, or as a white male he will be made an example of. Suspect though it will be the former.

      Nevertheless, fascinating viewing watching this fucking untalented helmet going into meltdown.

      • Almost makes me feel ashamed to be male and white. Then again, looking around…

    • One can but hope… and doubt the £30million the cunt will still have in his back pocket after divorce will keep him off the park bench for long, despite it being enough to see any ordinary Joe comfortably through more than one lifetime.

    • No worries, perhaps he can hang out with Gazza and Kenny Sansom at their new Saturday night takeaway Bargain Booze and a park bench to sit on drunkenly shouting at passers by.

  6. When the cunt is surrounded in the shower, never, will the title of his jungle show be screamed louder.

    In truth unlikely to get banged up.
    Checked himself into rehab immediately after the cops had had a chat. Clearly a move to score brownie points for when he’s up in front of the beak.

    Driving license a gonna.
    Getting about shouldn’t be a problem though.
    Looks a dead cert as a Sunshine bus season ticket holder….

  7. Never knew which of these cunts was which before. Always turned off anything the cunts were in. Totally baffled by them. What are they for? What is it that they are talented in? They look suspiciously like 2 sinister dwarves out of a Steven King novella.
    I know which is which now though. The one on the left is a cunt and the one on the right is a cunt.

    • Hahah, ‘what are they for’ I like that.

      Going to use that myself when some fucker or another starts bleeding on about any nomark seleb a plotician or football gimp in the future.
      Thanks cuntstable..🙂

    • Have you answered your own question there, Cuntstable?

      “What are they for?”
      “Always turned off anything the cunts were in.”

      Yes, they’re an animated replacement of the prebroadcast warning “Some (all) viewers may (will) find this material offensive and may wish to turn off now.”

  9. The snow in the Swiss Alps has gone from 300 to 1000 metres.
    About the same as Ants hairline.

  10. Celebrities are the trigger for untold hatred and venom pouring forth from every pore in my body, worshipped by the mentally challenged for reasons i cant fathom. Every “star” is a fucking expert on everything even though they have no fucking idea. The twats play a character, say a doc or spy and they end up believing that they are them. Every fucking programme has ” star or Celebrity ” in it, eg stars in their cars, who the feck gives a toss about davina mccalls first car and its importance in her “life journey “, when u get a twattery of them on tv they are obviously only entertaining themselves, massaging each others egos and exuding smugness and pomposity in abundance. Fuck me i hate all of them the vacuous festering bubo’s, but even worse is the fact that the country is peopled by fuckwits that elevate these globs of infected sputum to near god status. TWATS

  12. Another gang of Cultural Enrichers locked up, at Oxford this time. Children abused all over the country with, apparently, no police or social services interference. I wonder when the celebrity campaign for the victims will kick off? Lineker and Lily Allen mustn’t have heard about it yet,or I’m sure that their Twitter accounts would be red hot.

    Hypocritical fucking Cunts.

  13. Only sorry that Mekon McPartlin escaped unscathed, because he will… The pisspot spamhead will not be going to jail… His showbiz lawyers will give it the ‘depressed’ and ‘suicidal’ (shame he isn’t) bollocks and old Mekon will get off…. If there was any real justice the Easter Island headed lush would now fit into a can of stewing steak… Fucking planet headed cunt….

    And fellow Mekon, Dec, can fuck off and all…

  14. Understand The Boat Race starts in just over 10 minutes.

    Really, what is the fucking point of it?

    Realise it is one than one of the few sports BBC has left. That obviously means wheeling out rowing expert Claire “The Chin” Balding again.

    Bored.

  15. The problem with Ant and Dec is that they never advertise the right products do they, you know stuff like:

    – The Ant & Dec Punchbag
    – The Ant & Dec Archery Target
    – The Ant & Dec Chopping Board

    They’d sell millions of those fuckers!

  16. Great cunting……
    Maybe he should try some of his own medicine..?
    Send the light bulb headed cunt into the jungle to dry out….

  17. I’m not British. But watching these useless idiots makes me wonder what’s happening to the to world? They are not funny and have nothing to offer mankind? Please explain?

    • its the brain dead British couch potatoes that have put these two wankers where they are and all the other talentless cunts involved in the garbage they pump out. I am bewildered as to how it happens !!

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