Stephen Hawking [5]

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I’d like to cunt Stephen Hawking.

Not for any other reason except that he has morphed into Davros from the Daleks. Besides which what’s happened to his teeth? He looks like he’s got a rusting fork jutting out of his lip.

Nominated by megacunt

Professor Stephen Hawking: a man famous for talking bollocks about the nature of everything.

Got a theory that can’t be proven one way or the other? Probably came from Hawking

Nominated by Davros

63 thoughts on “Stephen Hawking [5]”

  1. (Said in that creepy, Yank, Pink Floyd/Radiohead voice:)

    “I am the greatest mind of a generation, able casually to discuss black holes and the first few seconds of time, as well as baby universes and the possibilities of an Event Horizon – the folding over of our universe to effectively travel through time.

    Instead I’ll do adverts for Specsavers and bleat on about Brexit.”

  2. Has he got a theory on how Diane Abbott keeps getting elected an MP with a majority of over 35,000?, in years to come this political phenomenon will be pondered over and debated by the great minds of the day. Or most of Hackney are just cunts.

    • No-one with any sense or the ability to move would be living in Flabbott’s constituency after all this time. Hence her 35,000 cunt majority.

      Or is it -35,000? Or 35?

  3. Fuck this remoaner cunt. Oh….he’s the smartest cunt in the world! How do we know ?…..because EVERYBODY says so! What am I ?……a fucking Muzzie or something ? ….I don’t give a fuck what EVERYBODY knows and EVERYBODY says.
    Bring back Joey Deacon I say. They had proper spackers in those days.

  5. Stephen Hawking got seriously ill, and they didn’t know whether to take him to A&E or PC World.

  6. Odd one this – Hawking warrants equal parts respect and cunting.

    Principally, this fucker has managed to make some fairly important contributions to physics/cosmology. He also doesn’t mind the odd send-up of his quite devastating condition. I personally would have chosen Dignitas over digitisation if I was that badly flidded up, so some respect due for what he has managed to achieve despite his degenerative paralysis.

    His cuntishness is quite damning, though. He clearly loves the celebrity afforded to him which rarely comes to those from the world of science; no problems with that except Hawking has been pretty cuntish with it. Speaking out on Brexit, Trump and associated, getting increasingly doom-mongering on each soundbite -including “Brexit will be a disaster for science”…

    Still, he did cunt Jeremy Corbyn – saying as clearly as his vocoder would allow him that “Labour could never win an election with Jeremy Corbyn”. So he can’t be all bad.

    • Ok, so wrong about virtually everything, except possibly stuff I could never be arsed to get my head around.

      Theory to be proved when Corbyn wins next election.

    • Nicely balanced TECB.Can’t begin to imagine the frustration this guy has endured.As for his ‘celebrity status’,fuck me give him an ounce of something to look forward to.No one on here would want his existence.Stick to the real cunts,cunts.

      • I don’t discriminate based on a persons level of bodily autonomy, that’s just the soft bigotry of low expectations.

        I just assumed that he likes the idea of a federal states of Europe controlling every aspect of our lives because he can barely control any aspect of his life, ergo politics of envy, ergo cunt.

      • EU or FSE – not bad ideas in themselves.

        But if they ain’t fully democratic and accountable, you can count me OUT!

  9. This guy loves the concept of a federal States of Europe, and is quite happy to sign over all sovereignty and freedom to an organisation that is equal to those massive black holes that Hawkins continually bleats on about.

    His recent prophecy of doom and the eventual collapse of the Western world due solely to Brexit, is an opinion not a fact.

    Clever? Yes, Prophet? No. Cunt Yes.

  10. His book, can’t remember the title but I have a suspicion that becoz not one cunt in the World could even understand it, he is actually just making it all up. String in space? I don’t believe there is any string in space. Bending space time? Space time? That’s non-sensical. Might as well say Because Ostrich. I think I’ve sussed him.

  11. I say to my mrs, would you french kiss him for a million 💷. She fucking freaks out on her way to the can. How much would YOU do it for?

  12. I think you’re being very unkind to the poor guy. He’s come a long way since he first appeared in Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel Treasure Island. Though he didn’t speak strangely then or fart around in a wheelchair. I did like his book ‘Time for a History of Briefs’, especially the pictures. It was quite heavy to hold in one hand.

    • I did read his (real) book, A Brief History of Time, years ago. I found it very hard going and understood very little. I think he re-wrote it years later and dumbed it down for the masses. Never read that version.

      Time for a History of Briefs – funny that. Well played Smeggy.

  14. Anything this smartarse cunt says has no use to ordinary people and life whatsoever… All this wank about black holes and time? So fucking what?!! Hawking and his babble reminds of Rab .C. Nesbitt meeting a Labour councillor after votes…. Big Rab says, ‘Can you kill rats or fix windows? No? Then you’re no use to me then! Bugger off!’

    And that film that was made about Hawking? Talk about glamourising and romanticising the boring gobshite…

  15. I remember Doctor Who from 2006… A Dalek and a Cyberman are arguing, and Micky Smith said, ‘It’s like Steven Hawking and the speaking clock’… If that was now scores of social media mongs and snowflake fannies would be ‘offended’ and call it ‘vile’ (they love that one) ‘abuse’ of the disabled… That was then though, and well before that Moffat wankstain ruined it for good…

    • The Division Bell was ace and Hawking’s contribution to the track Keep Talking really added something wonderful.

      I finally found a cheap copy of Endless River at my local used record shop. Like yourself TS I wondered why they bothered putting it out as a PF album. Long meandering musical ‘ideas’ which go nowhere.

      I like a bit of ambient me, but Floyd it up and it becomes pants. Who would have thunk it?

    • Division Bell had a few good tracks, most notably ‘High Hopes’, lyrics even more relevant today considering recent events.

      But Momentary Lapse Of Reason? Roger Waters described it: “a forgery”, and a pretty tedious forgery at that.

      Same goes for Delicate Sound Of Thunder – pretentious ‘Floydian’ sounding title, sterile performances. Pulse not bad. Bootlegs a lot better.

      • Absolutely! Those two also my favourites.

        And still rate ‘Echoes’, especially live bootleg versions.

      • Yep DB had some ace tracks High Hopes, Poles Apart, Keep Talking, Marooned, Coming back to life and Take it back is another favorite https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqnC7M3OSgU

        “Like yourself TS I wondered why they bothered putting it out as a PF album”

        They released endless river cause of the insane amount of money a reunion album promises and because fans will buy anything

      • Meddle, Dark Side, and Wish You Were Here for me… Gilmour getting his wife involved in songwriting and Floyd business must have pissed off Rick and Nick… And no doubt Roger had something to say about it… If there’s one thing I hate it’s a band that involves wives and girlfriends… Lennon and McCartney being the most obvious ones, but I never thought Floyd would fall into that trap…

        And although I love ‘Dark Side’ I loathe ‘The Great Gig In The Sky’…. That noisy cow screeching all over it, like a prototype Adele… And when the woman who did the screeching sued Floyd for a songwriting credit/royalties and won?! That was a fucking joke… She didn’t write anything… She just made a load of noises… The ‘Apollo Astronauts’ version of ‘Great Gig’ is far superior…

      • I can stretch it to Wish you were here after that it all sounded very corporate and sterile. The hippy drug fullled music up to Atom Heart Mother was great.

      • Yes – Shine On, and Animals were good I have to admit, especially on tour, really powerful instrumentals, long and incredibly intense – no wonder they retreated behind The Wall after that!

        But not a great fan of their post Animals work, all got a bit too pretentious and Waters ego dominated.

  17. Hawking may know a fair bit about black holes, but he’s hopeless when it comes to quantum probability. Fact is, there is no such thing as mass. Sub-atomic particles are bundles of energy which should not be viewed as static three-dimensional objects, but as four-dimensional entities in space-time. When we observe them, we see dynamic patterns continually changing – they are interconnections in the cosmic web, probability patterns rather than isolated grains of matter. And he should know that.

  18. Bit harsh this cunting. For a brilliant mind to have such a damaged body is sad. Fair dos to him for keeping going with his science career despite the obvious obstacles he has to endure. That said, if he limited his pronouncements to his scientific endeavours that would be fine. Sounding off about other issues because he has the platform to do so does make him a bit cuntish though.

    • I agree but we’re only taking the piss. I got every respect for him under the sun apart from wanting to remain in Stalag EU. Cunts.

  19. What is it with those BBC cunt trumpets?! Their main news story online is (still) about Dolores O’Riordan kicking the bucket? As I recall, when British acting greats like Warren Mitchell and Jean Alexander passed away recently the BBC gave them both a mention and a ‘small square’ down the bottom of the page… Yet some Irish singer (for want of a better word) from a second division band who hadn’t had a hit for about 20 years pops off and they’re treating it like Elvis has died all over again… Mind you, it’s probably down to their usual way of doing things…

    Not British? Tick!
    Not a man? Tick!
    Had a couple of hits in the 90s, so must be a ‘legend’? Tick!

    Cunts!

    • Never heard of her or the band, mind you I gave up listening to bands post about 1985.

      Just out the of interest listened to a snippet of both of the bands “hits” this morning.

      In my humble opinion both are unmemorable pieces of shite.

  20. Whilst driving just listened to an interview on Radio 5.

    Between a liberalist spokesperson from something called “Safe Passage” (I think) and a government representative from the UK immigration department.

    Relating to the 700 or so fuckers at camps in Calais trying to get to the UK. Mainly young men of course. Treesa may meeting the cheese eating surrender monkey Blair lookalike Macron.

    Safe Passage representative saying things along the lines of:

    1) We should let some of these people in as it is not British to turn them away. WRONG.

    2) That if we let them in this will probably be the end of people turning up at Calais. And after all it is only 700. Could not be more WRONG.

    3) That we should all head our heads in shame that three days before Xmas a 15 year old boy died under the wheels of a lorry trying to get to the UK. WRONG.

    4) That Theresa May should agree to give the French more money as this may get Macron onside when it comes to Brexit negotiations. WRONG. Macron is a diminutive French cunt who hates the UK and will do all he can to get us to remain in the EU, or to make us suffer if we leave. Deluded if they think a tiny pittance compared to the many billions would make the slightest bit of difference.

    Also an interview with an asylum seeker wanting to come to the UK. Why? Because he was persecuted and feared for his life in Afghanistan. The question was not asked as to why he crossed several safe countries to get to Calais, and his answer why he wanted to come here is that everyone deserves a chance and he wants to go to school in their UK and get a job. No mention of the benefits he would doubtlessly apply for.

    He said he only wants to come to the UK and would rather kill himself than go back to Afghanistan.

    Government representative stated that by accepting more fuckers will send out the wrong signals leading to more of the cunts coming (not his exact words). Suggested having proper camps in France (perhaps a bit like Eurocamp) which those coming for Afghanistan, Syria, Eritrea etc can stay at until the troubles in their home countries has subsided.

    Why the fuck would immigrants cross many countries to get to Calais if they did not want to get to the UK? Have the fucking camps in Turkey, much nicer climate.

    Apologies to any drivers in close proximity to the car who heard me shouting out loudly several times “Don’t fucking come then you cunt” when the asylum seeker complained of camp conditions”.

    Odds on Treesa “Stupid Bitch” May will give Macron something. WRONG.

    In any case the country is fucked beyond repair.

    • Apparently he’s all upset at Man U because he’s intimidated by Zlatan and Jose won’t tell Zlatan to lay off bossing Lukaku around. It’s reported that’s why he hasn’t celebrated his last couple of goals. Ahhh bless.

      What Lukaku seemingly fails to realise is Zlatan is a superstar and superstars throw their weight around because they have the skill, talent and reputation to do so and get away with it because it works!

      If I were Lukaku I’d shut my pie hole, learn everything I could from a master of his trade and hope and pray I could be 10% the player Zlatan is.

  22. I have a lot of admiration for Mr Hawking, his mind anyway. Pity the pretentious cunt talks with an American accent!

    But if you ever got into a theoretical argument and things boiled over would it be wrong to say: “Don’t you get lippy with me yer CUNT!”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. 😶

    • I can’t understand a man like Hawking who supposedly has such a broad view of life wants to remain in a federal dictatorship the eu ? Maybe he was going to get Tusk’s job ? Can you imagine that ?persian cat on his lap, Hawking king of Europe , like some science fiction movie .

  25. Jesus I need to get this off my chest……

    I’m the voice of Hawkin’s, have been for years, as soon as wifi came along I saw the opportunity and went for it.

    Sorry all that back hole shit stems from many many hours on X Hamster and has got fuck all to do with the stars,

    Anyway, I’m with F the F, bring back Joey Deacon, interpreting random hand movements and translating them into anything you desire is much more fun than listening to me programming Davros.

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