I’d like to nominate that shite shower of a company Vodafone for a thorough cunting! Their incompetent and clueless customer service text and call in centres are staffed by the thickest, most ignorant mongs ever. They are for the most part otherwise unemployable snowflake gobshites with attitude problems.
Call with a problem, get put on hold, listen to some ear cack elevator music for an eternity, only for said retard to blame someone else. “Duh, it’s not our problem it’s (insert implausible excuse)”. Twenty to thirty minutes of your life wasted and all for nothing!
Then they bombard you with customer satisfaction surveys and marketing texts! Oh fucking really?!? How’s about zero satisfaction and a big old 10 out of 10 for being utter cunt lords! Funny how this automated irrelevant marketing bollocks always gets through. Strange how efficiently they grab your hard earned cash to pay their exorbitant, piss taking bills every month. Yet when, as an existing customer under contract, you need something doing on YOUR behalf, it’s ‘fuck right off’.
The ‘technical’ assistance department imbeciles can barely speak a word of English. Fucking Indian call centres! They appear to have no idea what day it is, never mind what it is they are supposed to be doing.
TLDR: Vodafone: Corporate wank stains whoring after new victims and hanging existing customers out to dry. Complete cunty cunts!
Nominated by See You Next Tuesday
Other notable corporate cunts: Sky, BT, Churchill who wanted to charge me 3 x as much for home insurance as I was offered on a comparison site. And guess who the lowest offer was: – fucking Churchill.
Sky make it very difficult to end a contract. Insist you phone their premium line. I eventually fucked them off with a recorded delivery letter. And don’t ever think of their online chat, complete waste of time. When you get rid, the cunts are suddenly interested in you and phone and send letters constantly with ‘offers’.
BT seem to back up engineering incompetence with couldnt give a fuck customer service. Utter cunts.
I am sure fellow cunters have more corporate cunts to cunt. The Vodaphone cunting seems par for the course. Good cunting.
8
Had that shit on the insurance with the cunt who dances about in a sailors outfit “saving you time & money”
They are the parent company of many subsidiary companies in the same sector such as Elepants and Diamong who use the exact same format on different coloured paper. If you use one of them you will encounter mega savings on a comparison with themselves or one of their sister company’s.
3
Churchill are cunts for having a dog that sounds like John Prescott.
“Oh yes” – they are !
6
Left them years ago after having been a customer for about 13 years due to their inability to resolve a billing error in their part of around £30.
Utter cunts cost me more to call them on their “mobile only” number to complain.
Had a spell with that hairy face cunt that launches people to their death in an attempt to establish “space tourism”. This raises a concern as the cunt needs to sort out the standard of his shit on the planet before taking a small leap for mankind.
He still owes me money too, but refused to send me a cheque or even credit to a PAYG phone we had. He wanted his grubby mits on my new bank details as I had cut off the old account he robbed. Their customer service is equally appalling as is BT’s.
Great cunting, but I am thankful they don’t infect many other industries with their shit services.
You should have cunted all British Telephone providers (land & mobile) on this one as I don’t think many would escape comment here.
Oh, EE with Cunty Kevin Bacon & Sly™ with Tom Cunty Hardy adverts boil my piss so many times a day that I’m going to tee in a supply from my cock to my heating system to save gas.
6
They’re all as bad as each other. All smiles when you’re buying, all snarls if you dare pester them thereafter.
On a related subject: breakdown cover.
For the past 8 years I’ve religiously swapped between the AA and RAC annually and enjoy the benefits that new joiners get.
Want to know how to get to an AA or RAC operator within 2 rings, press the option to leave!
This year it was me fucking off the AA for another 12 months. I paid £89 quid in October 2016 for 14 months cover. The renewal letter came to day – £132 for 12 months. I ring up and press 2 to leave the AA.
“May I ask why?”
“Same reason as 2yrs ago. Both you and the RAC have YET to realise that SOME money is better than NO money each year. And so every other year I join for X and a year later it’s become X+£40 and for no good reason.”
“Yes but that was an introductory offer and after that it reverts back to the normal price.”
“I know and that’s why I’m leaving because I can get my full cover from the RAC for your price last year. Next year they’ll try on the cheeky £30-£40 quid price hike and I’ll cancel that and come back to you. Can you not see the folly of this? Your scumbag finance bods are relying on ‘inertia’ – a principle whereby folk just allow their subscriptions to continue – and for that loyalty you whack on an extra premium. It’s a disgrace and since 2008 folk are more aware than ever of inertia and so happily swap their insurances, car cover, utilities, etc., to get the best deal. Eventually businesses will realise that giving existing customers the best deal will make sense in the long run and even the government are getting involved with utility companies making sure *they* give their *existing* customers the best deal. Won’t be long before that’s universally applied to include the likes of you and the RAC.”
Silence.
“Hello?”
“Yes I’m still here. I’ve cancelled your renewal.”
“Thank you. Please feel free to pass on this call to your finance bods.”
However in 12 months time I’ll be fucking off the RAC in the same manner and for the same reason.
Fucking idiots the lot of them!
Oh and if you do want help with your phone do the same thing, select the option to leave them. You’ll get through within 3 rings then ask them to put you through to a tech. The usual response is: “Oh we can’t do that. We can only deal with contract enquiries.”
At that point reply: “Ok, well I suppose I better cancel my contract after all then.”
You’ll be through to someone within 30 seconds. Not that they will be able to help you…the useless cunts!
13
Got through to Tech support (oxymoron if ever there was one) at TalkTalk a few years back and after trying to explain to the thick cunts a million times that I’d checked all the connections rebooted my computer and router and that the problem having NO land line only started after they had activated my broadband and after I’d told them a BT openreach engineer had called me on my mobile to ask me did I have a problem and the reason was TalkTalk had got my new service actually connected to another address, did the stupid Indian thick cunts realise that it was THEIR problem. But no apologies or compensation so as soon as I could I was off fucking Dildo Harding the stupid cunt couldnt run a bath. Baroness my arse
1
It’s a strange quirk of economics amongst phone, tv and insurance companies that the lowest form of human life, a piece of dogs shit with a foot print in it, are existing customers. It’s seems contagious. I don’t know of one existing customer who is happy with their providers. And you all know that if you need technical help, you are dead meat. I had a problem with setting up a BT box to get catch up. I had to employ a translator and was on the phone for 75 minutes while they “ran some tests”. At end ofor said minutes they concluded the was a fault with the box and had to send an engineer who would come between 1 and 5 on Tuesday. So I made sure I bought my co-op brandy in plenty of time, I got home at 12.20, and of course, there was the fucking card saying he called at 12.10. So I limped on with my busted box for 4 more days and the engineer comes in, I showed him what’s wrong and he says “you are pushing the wrong button on the remote”.
I promise you this is absolute truth.
8
May Allah be praised Vodaphone I pizz on you, I beat you vizz my smelly old shoe. I declare Fatwa on you in the name of my holy prophet.
You are seed of Iblis and may you be cast down to the nameless abominations. I buy twenty pay as you go mobiles from you to use in Paris and none has roaming on my price plan you Fuck of Iblis. Finally get through to customer services in India and they tell me to fuck off woggy boy is’n’tit. So no opportunity for my loyal followers to blow their bollocks off.
So now I get Tesco sim cards and we blow up every Vodaphone store we find in Leicester.
11
Behind the times Mufti, its Lycamobile as they offer by far the best tariffs PAYG to call home to the famileeee.
All other countries extortionate, the peaceful countries jump in price, Lyca texts them to say so.
Basically..WARNING we are currently being investigated, find other network.
2
Try various destinations to see
http://www.lycamobile.co.uk/en/
0
Whoa big guy take it easy and maybe redirect that anger to the british broadcasting corporation… Because they just recently just called your beloved prophet muhammud a goat shagging barbaric cunt.
I dunno I think it was sort of disrespectful of them I mean are you just gonna let that slide?! I wouldn’t
6
May the Holy Prophet shower you with benefits and under age children for saving the Jihad a few quid. By the bounty of Allah I find I can buy Lyco Mobile simcards in my nearest Poundland.
8
Great anecdotes cunters!
I knew there had to be a logical reason – apart from an extreme aversion to social contact – that I’ve never been within pissing distance of owning or even touching a mobile phone. Thanks to all for confirming my worst suspicions.
But did the wife take any notice?
Is the Pope a paedo?
Ha – it’s a wonderful life…
10
For tax reasons Vodafone routes all of its money through Luxembourg meaning that with profits in the UK at almost £5b a year they have avoided paying ANY tax on several years in a row.
The EU could collectively do something about it if they really wanted to. Like by simplifying the tax laws and imposing direct taxes on the basis on the destination of sales.
Jean Claude Juncker and Luxembourg. Spot the one reason nothing is done about it.
15
Although I can appreciate the upside to mobile phones and the internet, I wouldn’t be too disappointed if one of these solar flare things fried the whole fucking grid and took us back to a nicer and simpler world….
Put my phone on airplane mode the other day….told me to stop calling it Shirley….
10
Don’t give a flying fuck about phones, but without internet there’d be no ISAC. I’ve got a vast quantity of dangerous drugs in a jam jar ready to overdose on when the peacefuls inevitably work out how to take the internet down forever. Have a nice weekend cunters!
10
I am firmly of the opinion that everything that is wrong with the world is closely connected with Tony Blair. I am happy to confirm this in the case of Vodafone, whose champion in India appears to be Cherie…
http://cherieblair.org/features-videos/2012/12/-vodafone-05-12-12-from-arjun.html
…establishing beyond doubt their global entrepreneurial cuntitude.
9
Sounds like the witch is developing an Uber style app for prostitutes. Nobody would be surprised by that. The Blairs are the kind of cunts who can’t sleep at night if they’re not at least ten grand richer than they were this morning. Fucking cockroaches.
8
Wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t (a) pretending this was for the good of humanity and (b) supplied with permanent protection, funded by HM Taxpayer, from the numerous enemies they have made .
Tony was in West Africa last week: Togo, Cote D’Ivoire, Gambia, Ghana, Senegal and Sierra Leone – possibly Burkina Faso as well. Accompanying Egyptian mining, construction and telecoms tycoon Naguib Sawiris all the way on the Sawiris executive jet. Togo’s dictator inherited the post from his dad, and between them they’ve been in power for half a century. The Togolese want him out. Tony’s going to improve the cunt’s image. Etc…
Sorry. I’m keenly interested in the Blairs, and sometimes I have to vent. Delete as necessary.
7
The more shit I hear about those bastards the better. Bring it on Sir! You’re not Gordon Brown by any chance?
6
I’ll risk a link in case you’re serious about hearing more –
https://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2015/02/an-apology/comment-page-44/#comment-709504
Start there and work back for a couple of years.
Acknowledgements to Craig Murray, whose views may not necessarily coincide with mine (or yours), but who kindly let me hijack a thread as he doesn’t like the Blairs any more than I do, and for even better reasons.
(ISAC proprietor, I will understand perfectly if you don’t let this through.)
1
@Komodo – if that’s you over there, why don’t you start your own WordPress blog. It’s free. What’s going on on Murray’s site is what the Upton cunt did at the Ranting Penguin.
It’s called trolling. I don’t disagree with the content, just where and how it’s being expressed…
1
@ Dioclese:
Thanks for the suggestion, which I have considered, as also editing the stuff I’ve gleaned on the cunt and writing some proper articles or a book (which would continue the record from two excellent biogs up to 2014: Bower’s ‘Broken Vows’ and Beckett et al’s ‘Blair, Inc: The Man Behind The Mask’ – both good in parts.). But I am very careful to have other time-consuming interests as well as a day job, so not yet.
Yes, astutely observed, CM has a rare selection of trolls, due to intentionally lax moderation, and some of them look as if they are Moscow-friendly. But most of the crap occurs when CM hasn’t been back for a while, and the trolls are talking to each other or themselves.
Re. Egypt, friend Sawiris, who has flown Blair to Africa several times, helped al-Sisi bring Morsi down. Par for the course for Tony. When he talks about strong government – as he often does – he means dictatorships and/or a financial stranglehold. Enough. I must find a recent cunt and assist in cunting it.
0
I heard he lined his pockets in recent years doing “image building” in Egypt, though he was up to all sorts. Over there like a rat along a sewer pipe when Morsi was removed from office.
If I was a leader of any country, I would not want the cunt in it full stop.
He is nothing but a slimy lying war mongering cunt and when you look at the image he has built of himself, its hardly a good reference.
He needs to be kept away from anything involving GB departure from EU as well, don’t want him dipping his bent oar in and stirring the shit.
4
Why why why did I click the link to Cherie Bliars site. I will write out 500 times ” Anything to do with the Bliars is bad”
0
I know some here belittle those who believe in secret societies(freemasons, zionists, shriners, jesuits etc) and that they run the world but explain to me this. Why do the powers to be allow this craziness called black friday if not to just laugh at the stupid penny pinching peasants?! huh explain that one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isyvv7LskTI
4
Loving the sado peaceful at just after 2 mins getting a telly but it looks like the cunt wants what looks like a karcher window vac. The cunt can’t negotiate the aisle and so resorts to treating the shop like a “jungle Jim”
Fuckin’ animals
6
Just got subjected to some Shitfactor while getting sorted to walk the dog.
Why the hell would anyone want to win Louis Walshes shit stained, snail trailed Jeep?
Answers on a postcard
https://entercompetitionsonline.co.uk/itv-com/x-factor/
2
Well bugger me, who’d have thought the bigots orf Ulster would turn oit to be the saviours orf Blighty. Arlene Foster orf the DUP is derailing the Irish sea border stitch-up with the EU and there-bye injecting a spot orf backbone into the Hunchback orf Downing Street. Indo-Mick Teashop cunt Varadka can shoot his poisonous poftah mouth orf as much as he likes and bum up with that hissing knot orf serpents in Brussels to shaft dear old Blighty but with Foster making the headlines they will find oit what “No Surrender” means. Unless dear Arlene has already struck a lucrative under the table deal.
Arlene Foster – would anyone shag it?
6
Let me tell you Sir Limply, I would shag Rolf Harris up the bumhole if I thought the cunt could get us out of the fucking EU.
7
As others alluded, there is no decent mobile phone network, and I’ve tried them all. Like many other markets, mobiles are a necessary evil and ‘shopping around’ simply equates to signing up with one who will shaft you less vigorously and with more lube than the others.
Best of a bad bunch I feel was Orange – some of their deals circa early/mid 00s were decent and I remember their Everyday 50 especially being a godsend for me at the time. Got a fair bit of use from their Orange Wednesdays cinema deals, too.
On the topic of networks Kevin Bacon is sailing perilously close to Cunt Coast, purely because of those dreadful EE adverts he does. I’m aware he lost a massive amount of money from the Madoff scam, so he needs the work – but being such an almighty cunt for countless 60second slots across the last 5 years or whatever isn’t really any kind of justification, broke or not.
5
He’s been a cunt in the ones I’ve seen, I think he likes dressing up far too much Britney spears gear & that.
Jeremy Clarkson is a cunt in an advert I saw earlier for some Arab airline.
Biggest cunt of the night was Johnny Depp who ruined my Rambo viewing experience. Cunt appeared in an advert for some fragrance. He was out in the desert and he got a shovel out his boot. Had hoped he would dig a hole and jump in and bury himself.
5
If you can’t stand the heat, it seems easier to get out the kitchen instead of facing up to it.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/labour-member-dies-unexpected-inquiry-investigation-misconduct-a8076246.html
Or maybe Diane Abbot counted out his prescription meds and gave him a months worth to take in one dose when it should have been two?
It just doesn’t add up.
Maybe we need to stop this and leave them alone if the guilty ones head off in search of 50 virgins?
Like fuck we do, we need bigger prisons to house anyone convicted of a proper sexual attack amongst other criminals getting away with murder.
1
Jean Claude Spunker likely a share holder, personally in Vodacrap.
In fact, as it has been said here that the EU finances / accounts have not been audited, I bet the EU has invested some of the cash we and the other 27 have contributed into financial investment funds associated with some of these tax “avoiding” companies.
Why has all the member states ploughed in cash for all these years without any of them asking to see a balance sheet? Surely they should be showing how much is coming in, how much is going out to debts or investments and how much dividends etc are being received back in from investments.
Somebody is sitting either getting quietly rich or sitting with nothing but don’t want to make public they have been losing the lot.
I would expect if it was the latter that all members have a right to know, however one day it may be found they have squandered the lot.
Likely it will be on investments and building projects in France & Germany and nowhere else.
A little birdie tells me German company’s are building new schools in Great Britain which we are renting back (PPP) at crazy prices for terms around 25 years, after which the buildings become ours. Some are crumbling after only 5 years, with one example in Scotland recently having collapsed so don’t expect to have anything fit for use after the hand over. Many of these projects utilised cheap foreign labour to deliver on budget & pay any penalties for late completion.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-39580308
The real tragedy is that local governments couldn’t get these built quick enough so that they could get their grubby mitts on the nice sturdy old sandstone buildings, ripe for their development or sell off to mates.
1