The Olympics (5)

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The Olympics needs a cunting for having an Olympic Walking Race.

We’ve all been there about to shit yourself and the toilet is 70 metres away, you can’t run as everyone will know your about to shit yourself and you can’t stroll as you might shit yourself as it takes too long. So you walk like one of those fucking cunts in the Olympic Walking Race trying to make it to the toilet. Secondly and more importantly they spend millions on the buildings etc and within a year its like a ghost town (Greece, Brazil). All that fucking money wasted. I say turn the fucking places into Gladiator Colloseum type places and get all the snowflakes, cunts, refugees and politicians to battle it out and when there all gone turn it into luxury flats. The cunts.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

83 thoughts on “The Olympics (5)”

  1. Good cunting, the politicians talk about regeneration of a run down area in terms of hosting the games like around Newham in 2012 but the new homes are taken by peacefull’s or massively expensive for locals. As for creating a ‘legacy’ is just a political bullshit soundbite, nearly five years on we’re still being told by we are all fat cunts who drink and eat shit, with fat cunty kids who have too much sugar.

  2. “Walking” is one of the more ridiculous of the Olympic “sports” right up there with synchronised swimming, dressage and Tai Chi or whatever its fucking called (you put on pyjamas and try and kick some cunt in the head). You waddle like a gay prozzie down Brighton seafront for nearly 50 fucking K, you’re just outside the stadium and about to win and some cunt jumps out in front of you and waves a red flag in your face. You’re disqualified! What for you cunt? For running. Fucking running? How the fuck can you tell the difference? Why let him waddle like a poof for 50 fucking K and THEN decide the cunt is running. It’s all TOTAL BOLLOCKS!

  3. Millions wasted? more like billions.

    All so some corrupt cunts who “organise and run” the games can stash yet more wads of dirty cash in their off shore umbrella companies and fat cunts can sit around on their DFS sofas idolising drug taking cheats while stuffing in fast food from all the advertisers.

    I’ve always thought it ironic that these things are sponsored by the like of McFatso and Croak a Cola.

    Those volunteer, ambassador host type fuckers are also self congratulating cunts of stellar proportions. Fuck off you cunts.

  4. Another “sport” that needs a cunting is diving. Besides being total bollocks it made a celebrity out of that nauseating little poof Tom fucking Daly. That cunt deserves a separate nomination as well as a good fucking kicking. He should be banned from the telly for encouraging gay bashing. Cunt.

  5. Hosting the Games is a poison challis in many ways, Montreal took 30 years to pay off the debt, Moscow was boycotted, in Munich some ‘peaceful ones’ misunderstood the shooting event and helped Greece become a bankrupt basket case.

    London was a success, but there is still that heap of scrap metal The Orbit there that looks like something ISIS had a go at then Steptoe didn’t want. Cost the thick end of £25 million and was designed by a Turner Prize winner which says it all.

    • The last I heard of The Orbit they were going to throw more taxpayers’ money at it and turn it into a giant helter-skelter and charge 9 fucking quid to ride a fucking mat down it. I’m sure the locals will make good use of these facilities and appreciate this marvellous legacy.

    • In my experience those who do not drink are alky cunts who can’t hold their beer. The cunts.

      • Its the hangovers that stopped me drinking.

        I could drink like a fish and was always the last one standing, but hangovers started to out way the fun.

        I had a third of a bottle of Bushmills at new year, but that’s all I’ve had in over nine years.

        I don’t miss the booze at all, but then I do smoke a lot of hash, and that was always my preferred buzz.

        The looks I get coz I have a Scottish accent but don’t take part in Scotland’s favourite pastime.

        Racist cunts. 🙂

      • Same here birdman.
        I still get a mongy sort of hangover from smoking weed, but that’s my poison of choice.
        Bladdy bladdy expensive though mate. I’ve had a go at growing my own, but I’m bloody useless.

      • I tried grossing my own too Blimp, but it was shite and a massive waste of time.

        Much easier to buy it.

        Toot toot. 🙂

  7. I wonder if that lesbian boxer, Nicola Adams wears her gloves when she gives her girlfriend a good fisting,maybe one fist up each orifice? Instant hysterectomy if she does. I’d love to hear John Inverdale give a commentary on that. Perhaps she could be persuaded to give that nasty little faggot Tom Daley the old one-two while she’s on.

    • I may be a fat lazy old cunt who rarely leaves the settee, but I bet I could still give her a solid beating around the ring.

  8. If you have homeless citizens on your streets these big vanity projects are an inditement of society.

    They should do it in the same place every time. Billions and billions saved and it will still be on TV for those cunts that enjoy that sort of thing.

    • Well said, Sixdog. Having it in the same place each time would be a great idea. Make sure its a country nobody likes, like Saudi Arabia and watch the cunts go slowly bankrupt.

      • The oil price is being kept artificially low by the US and SA in order to hurt Russia, Iran and Venezuela.

        Google spell check is a cunt and all. How the fuck can Venesuala be Suaveness?

      • i did see one article which reckoned the saudis wanted to flog all their oil asap because they didn’t want to be stuck with it when renewable energy actually became financially viable and demand for oil plummeted
        and if it fucked up some of their geopolitical opponents that was a bonus

  9. Don’t get me started on the Great Olympic Stadium Scam. You need to google it to understand the sheer bare faced daylight fucking robbery that’s happened here. Cunts should be in prison but nobody gives a fuck. The beneficiaries are the pornographers Gold and Sullivan, Baroness Knightsbridge (the scrubber usually known as Karren Brady),Boris Johnson and Pig-Fucker Cameron (there’s a reason he confused Aston Villa with West Ham) These cunts and their hangers on have robbed us blind and fucking laughing about it. Bastard cunts.

  10. With a few exceptions, it is not even sport. Running, jumping and throwing are not sports. Maybe if you put them all together along with a ball and some rules then you would have a sport.

    Also how come they now have football, tennis and even fucking golf. Why?! Whats next, formula fucking one?

    • New Olympic events,
      Formula one cars with swords on the the side going round the track chasing the runners.

      Getting all the politicians to lie on the floor in the Javelin event.

      Alligators in the pool in the swimming events.

      Naked women’s volleyball.

      • Be careful what you wish for M8. What if The Flabbot was to be entered in the Islamic Republic of Londonistans volleyball team?

      • Skid! for fucks sake thats a ghastly image you’ve created….I won’t sleep a fucking wink now!

      • If Abbot managed to jump to hit the ball the earthquake resulting from her landing would be at least a 5.9 on the richter scale.

    • the old olympics motto was “faster, higher, stronger”
      fuck knows how you can put synchronised swimming, rhythmic gymnastics and dressage into those categories

      • Derek & Clive “Having a Wank” could surely be fitted into an early-morning, 9am Olympic slot ?

        Christ only knows, any number of our “High-wanking politicians” could grab a few medals in this event.

        Commentary by the late and great Colemanballs…

  11. I’ve been walking since I was two, and I’m 44 in three months time. All those years and I never knew I was taking part in a sport. All day every day, I’ve sporty as fuck.

  12. Carswell is on Sunday politics,
    and Andrew Neil is trying to pin the cunt down, BAR OF SOAP!! Springs to mind….

    • Makes a change from the Ghanian Trollop Up In Banana Tree being on the sunday morning telly though…

  13. If walking really is a sport what about breathing or Standing?
    Fuckin ridiculous!!
    We’re all champions 😂

  14. The Olympics might be bad,but they’ve got fuck-all on the Special Olympics.

    They might be “brave” and “inspirational”,but they fucking put me right off. The worst is that appalling dwarf, Ellie Simmonds. The fucking thing presumably learned to swim at an early age when she splashed out of the abortion-bucket where she belongs.

  16. Yep, the special olympics are like something out of that scene in Toy Story when the kid is pulling off all the legs and arms and creating monsters.

    Or Silent Hill crossed with Resident Evil.

    Dwarf wanking, now there a sport I’d watch, which dwarf can wank furiously the longest?

    • From the dwarf-porn that I’ve watched they seem to be able to last longer than me…… My cock would scrape the ground if I was a dwarf.

    • Are we talking about the monger olympics or the spaker olympics? It’s vital in a diverse society to make the distiction between spaker and mong. After all, we wouldn’t want to offend, would we?

      • Joey Deacon would have won Olympic Gold than if he’d been allowed to enter the pole-vault. Discrimination is a wicked sin which must be eradicated if we’re to get a good laugh.

      • Dont be a Joey

        As I said in the other thread, Deacon was a collosal cunt who brought misery to thousabnds of poor 1980s school kids.

        He could have won the olympic break dancing medal without even trying.

      • He was a massive influence on a generation….and quite the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the telly.

      • Joey (if he’s not croaked) and Lily Mong should do a duet…. Can imagine them ‘singing’ Bernard Bresslaw’s ‘Mad Passionate Love’….

      • Deacon shuffled off to heaven years ago, his pal Ernie then moved into dealing H and was killed in Columbia several years later.

      • You vicious bastards. I remember, as a kid, “Joey” and “Deacon” were used as generic terms of abuse. In fact our Headmaster gave us a lecture about it and I think he also mentioned the terms “mong” and “spaz”. You can imagine what it was like, as a 12 year, sitting there trying not to laugh. Still, at least I grew out of it unlike you bin licking Deacon spazzies. Your Mum is a lezzer.

      • Little known fact….Joey is alive and well and is due to be announced as the new host of Ski Sunday.

      • I’m waiting for the tabloid headline : ‘Lily Allen -TV Star Joey Deacon Is My Real Dad!’

        It would explain a lot and it would be a step up from Keith…

  18. Sunday morning: and cunts are out and about…. Who should be at my door this morning other than those LibDem cunts… I thought the servile Labour lackey/wretch/bitch who came to our door in the winds and the pissing rain last weekend was bad enough… But this lot really took the piss… All false bonhomie and glued on smiles…Having the nerve to ask if they can ‘count on my vote’… I was tempted to laugh, but instead I started on about how that cunt Farron is betraying democracy and the British people with his self whoring and Remain tantruming… Then I got onto Judas Clegg and how he let himself get dry buggered by Pigfucker Cameron and then let the country get buggered by him too… Cue loads of squirming and ‘Err… Yes’ and ‘Ummm… Well..’ No straight answers, of course…Just the usual pre-programmed bullshit that you always hear from these cunts… They really do have a bloody cheek… Fucking LibDem cunts….

    • I hope you told them that their leader little Timmy had won the coveted title of COTY ……😂

      • I made it known to them how Tiny Tim is viciously despised by ordinary people, and how he doesn’t represent any working person in Britain in any way… More ‘Ahh yes’ and squirming…. Pure LibDem cunts…

    • Interesting that Timmy and Cleggy were milking the anti-Brexit demo in London yesterday whilst at the same time the Italians banned an anti-EU demonstration in Rome. EU democracy in action!

      That wasn’t on the BBC news – surprise, surprise – so not a lot of people know that…

      • You would find more of the elusive “truth” under a stone or lying dead at the bottom of a pond than you would at the BBC.

  19. I’m probably going to get some stick for this but fuck it….

    Nigel Farage is a cunt! This morning on the loathsome Sofie Ridge’s program by Sky (fake) News he said the islamic terror attack on londonistan last week was not “directly” linked to immigration.

    The terrorist, although British born, was of an immigrant family, he followed an immigrant ideology and he lived in an immigrant community ( Birmingham, 45.6% white British ) How much more directly linked to immigration can it fucking get?

    The insidious group think cognitive dissonance has sadly infected the great man himself and rendered him a cunt.

    • I hope Nige isn’t selling out and appeasing the snowflakes… Someone in the press once said ‘In decades to come, Farage will either be remembered as a hero or as a joke…’ The fact that he isn’t leading the Brexit fight after putting so much effort into getting us there doesn’t sit well, and he should never have resigned…. I do hope the only man with any guts in British politics isn’t going soft, because he is needed in a world of Khans, Blairs, Farrons, and Banana Gob Millers… In fact he is needed now more than ever…

      • The cunt is around now more than he ever was a leader of UKIP. He is still an MEP, has his own radio show and is a regular TV pundit on both sides of the Atlantic. Still a cunt though.

  20. Ah your all being unfairly harsh on the special Olympics,
    Who can forget the S7 swimming final in 2012 when the ear beat the hand by a nose?

  21. #carswell #ukip

    There was an MP for Clacton
    Who once had a UKIP hat on
    But despite his defection
    He won’t call an election
    ‘Cos the voters are saying he’s not on

      • UKIP was never a serious political party, it was a voice for the disenfranchised, we need to be careful not to allow that voice to be silenced and control of the narrative to be handed back to LabCon and the FibDems.

        UKIP still has an important part to play as we lack a real political party to ensure that Brexit isn’t watered down to the point it becomes meaningless.

        UKIP should be pushing harder than ever to win seats in parliament and control of councils. Only the threat of votes lost to UKIP will keep the other parties in line.

        Pronouncing UKIP dead plays into the hands of those who would stop Brexit. The devil is in the detail and we are not out of the EU by a long way yet.

      • Couldn’t agree more, anyone who thinks the Tories are interested in anything but keeping their rich pals rich must be some sort of cunt. All the other 3 cunt parties have done is fuck me up the arse so there is nowhere else to go. UKIP is the only anti-EU party so what else do you need to know? Remember it was fear of UKIP that forced the pigfucker to commit to a referendum in the first place. Of course we need Sir Nigel back in charge but the man has a mind of his own so we’ll just have to wait and see.

      • No one is saying that UKIP, well Farage really, has done a great job in getting us to where we are now. Nor am I saying that some one needs to keep a very close eye on the backsliding lab/con/lib cunts who would fuck us all over at the drop of a hat. I’m just saying UKIP are not up to that job, as a political party they are a shambles without financial backing, a leader and now without an MP.

        UKIP is dead, get over it.

      • What about all those Labour voters who voted leave, many of them voting, and registering, for the first time? They’re not going to vote Timmy or Tory and they’re not going to vote for the Corbyn skidmark. They don’t care about gay rights or trannie toilets, they care about jobs and wogs. Simples.

      • I refuse to accept that UKIP are dead and buried while the Lib Dems are still drawing breath. If fucking Farron can still get elected, there’s hope for UKIP yet.

        Both or neither will do for me but not one or the other.

        Carswell was an opportunist and a liability. Then they had that other cunt Neil Hamilton. There’s a lot of shit in UKIP had needs shovelling out…

        Perhaps we could get Carswell to join the Lib Dems and kill two birds with one stone?

      • It isn’t UKIP as a party that needs to survive, it was shit when Nigel was in charge, I think he realised all along it was just a platform to make the anti EU voice heard.

        What we need now is a party with a post EU plan, one with a manifesto that includes real immigration control, that has a plan for the economy, that provides an alternative to the Tory old boy club and Labours Marxist agenda.

        We need a party that represents the working people of the nation but a party that realises that the working class includes the middle class. The middle class are the backbone of any economy.

        The sooner the middle class has its eyes opened to the fact that LabCon have been picking its pockets for the last century the better.

  22. The one trick pony has indeed been put down…..
    And will only be exhumed if may seriously backslides……..

  23. “How can Brexit be real, if my Eyes aren’t real?” -Tony Blair quoted while sucking some guys cock… probably Richard Branson or something

  24. Lily the Mong needs a cunting. The rancid bitch has said on social media and any other media outlet how much compassion she has for the environment, that air pollution is a bad thing. So when the Mong tells all and sundry that when her car lease has ended she will get herself a Prius. So as Lily the Mong is so so so righteous she goes and buys a gas-guzzling Mercedes Benz so she can drive her way through London. No doubt she collects the sand-dwelling w@gs on the way through.

    • Lily Mong needs an actual real life cunting but I don’t want to give the fuzz a reason to arrest me for written threats or some shite. Absolute cunt tho can’t even sing I feel bad for her fans cause one day they are gonna realize they have been supporting a no talent cunt.

      Plus why waste your fucking time with her when theres bloody 500 other female singers who can do it a million times better then her, shes shite her lyrics are shite, her written music or “beats” whatever are shite!

      • Lily Spazmotron also dishes it out but can’t take it… The windowlicking libmong claimed she was ‘taking a break’ from Twatter because some ‘trolls’ had said some nasty things about her losing her kid… Nothing to do with her not being able to take justifiable criticism after saying things like anyone who voted Brexit and doesn’t arselick 30 year old ‘child’ ‘refugees’ is racist and ignorant, that all white men are potential rapists, and that anyone who disagrees with her about anything is Hitler then?…

        I fucking loathe this spaztard snowflake cunt….

  25. Hang on a minute! When a hijab clad w@g casually walks past a victim of islamic terror nonchalantly texting something on her phone she is actually a victim of abuse who is being unfairly scapegoated and is in no way representative of islam.

    However, when another hijab clad woman in Birmingham twerks in the street she gets death threats for disrespecting islam.

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3034607/muslim-teen-girl-17-suffers-horrifying-death-threats-after-she-is-caught-twerking-in-the-street-while-wearing-hijab/

    • Being a little slut is not allowed, haji girl! …. her brother or father or relatives will have to carry on the holy tradition and honor kill her

      • They’re just fucking nutters, the lot of them… Where’s Richard the Lionheart when you need him?… He had the right idea…

      • Yes and let’s not forget that Richard, at various points, was stitched up by the Austrians, Italians, French, Germans and Spanish. Let that be a lesson to the remoaners. There are some modern historians who claim that Dicky was a gaylord. Well, he may have liked slipping into the shitbox but that doesn’t necessarily make you a Tom Daley if you know what I mean?

      • I don’t know about Richard the Lionheart, he was a frenchist cunt who couldn’t even speak English. However he was quite good at killing sand w@gs.

        What we need is Arthur, the once and future king to rise from his slumber and protect the kingdom once more.

  26. Or we could dig up Thatcher, dust the corpse off and put her in charge of Brexit negotiations. When Juncker says “we vant 50 billion of your British quids to allow you Englanders to leave” the old witch could handbag the cunt and say “you can kiss my dead arse you cocky little Kraut.”

  27. MSM are cunts, telling us all to “Keep calm and carry on”. The narrative that the best way to beat terrorism is to just continue as normal, as if nothing had happened is no more sophisticated than our Mothers telling us to ignore the bully and he will eventually get bored and go away. It isn’t going to work. We are fighting a war whether we want to admit it or not and it is a war with an ideology which has, since it’s inception been violent and expansionist. They are not going to get bored and go away. They are going to continue until they have achieved their goal, of a world under islamic rule. If we cannot accept and name the enemy, we are doomed to be beaten by it. The cunts.

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