Shane Allen

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Shane Allen is a cunt…

The BBC head of comedy is behind the current joke of a series that features modern remakes of Are You Being Served?, Porridge, Till Death Us Do Part, Steptoe & Son, and Up Pompeii!
Allen said it was “insulting” to suggest the BBC’s new comedies were not as good as the past… So where are they? What are they? Name one that is as good as Till Death, Porridge or Steptoe… Does he mean crap like Miranda, Gavin and Stacey, Mrs Brown’s Cunts and Citizen Khan? He’s having a laugh, the fucking prick…

On his remakes monstrosity, he said: “This is a chance to say these are titles and writers and pieces of work that are proven, and hallowed, and it’s a chance to introduce them to a new generation…”. What he means is that the BBC haven’t got the guts to show the originals (for fear of offending some left wing tosspot!) and they want to remake someone else’s work into a load of PC, touchy-feely, sanitised bollocks…

The Steptoe remake looks especially shite… Albert is now bigger than Harold and Harold is now a skinny, pasty gimp with none of the presence or comic timing of Harry .H. Corbett… And I’m dreading the Porridge one… Fletch’s grandson in for cybercrime? With John Bishop? Fuck off!

I think I’ll stick to the originals on DVD… And Allen and ‘Auntie Beeb’ can stick their ‘New Comedy World Order’ up their arses…

Nominated by: Norman

42 thoughts on “Shane Allen”

    • Re-making Are You Being Served is polishing a particularly unfunny turd.
      The other re-makes are fucking dire.
      A large woman falling over a lot and an Irish cunt in drag are the pinnacles of current BBC ‘comedy’

  2. Ex-Archbishop Rowan Williams can fuck off. He along with 200 virtue signaling faith “leaders” want the government to do more for rapeugees. How much property does the CoE have? It is one of the biggest property owners in the country. Put your money where your mouth is you beardy weirdy cunt.

    • Meanwhile he will have his underlings chucking homeless people off church property. These morals are adjustable and any charity doesn’t extend to the English.

  3. I would very much like to cunt the Oxford English dictionary which has just released a list of over 1000 new words that are now WORDS.
    I do wish these student cunts would stop making up words and bastardising the once beautiful English language with shit like this….

    Moobs – Unusually prominent breasts on a man, typically as a result of excess fat.
    Gender-fluid – A person who doesn’t identify with a single fixed gender.
    YOLO – An acronym meaning ‘you only live once’.
    Chefdom – A noun meaning the overall fact, state, or positioning of becoming a chef.
    Cheeseball – Someone or something lacking taste, style, or originality; or the breaded and deep fried cheese appetiser.
    Fuhgeddaboudit – a US colloquialism, associated especially with New York and New Jersey, reflecting an attempted regional pronunciation of the phrase ‘forget about it’ – used to indicate a suggested scenario is unlikely or undesirable.(apparently we are even adding poxy yank words to the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY now)
    Westminster bubble – First used in 1998, the term describes an insular community of politicians, journalists, and civil servants, who appear to be out of touch with the experiences of the wider British public.

    what ever happened to words like Require, no one seems to use that any more it’s all NEED AND WAND, why can’t people require. I suppose it’s not hard hitting and in your face enough.
    I REQUIRE the OED to stop this madness before my head explodes.
    BUNCH OF FUCKING NINCOMPOOP CUNTS.

    • Small victories but pretend not to understand anybody who uses these made up words. Saying “I am sorry but I cannot understand you at all. Please speak English”
      That fucks them off. They go off mumbling about you being a cunt but you have the satisfaction of knowing you are one so no harm done.

      • Well cunted Kath. Can we get a full cunting for the bastardisation of the Queen’s English please?

  5. The BBC is stuck in the past, it isn’t relevant anymore, the more the façade of Aunty Beeb is stripped away the more it is left exposed as a machine of the establishment who’s real purpose is propaganda and thought control.

    The BBC is stil trying to make sitcoms for a 1970’S audience on the whole ignorant that shows like Steptoe and later One foot in the grave worked because they were writtned with more depth and sophistication. You can show Steptoe now and it still works.

    The BBC thinks that formulated dirge writttend to a sitcom template is good enough, the audiences say differently.

    There is no justification for the BBC to exist in the 21st century, certainly not with a tax attached to it. People still think that the BBC is great because the establishment and the BBC tells us how wonderful it is.

    Can we live without EastEnders? fucking straigt we can.

    • Too right. I’d like to cunt EastEnders because every character in it would be much happier dead. Fucking miserable thing. All it is are a load of mockney twats screaming at each other and wanting to know who is fucking whoever else. Who is dead, who is dying and who is most likely to die. Fuck that. Life’s too short for that depressing bollocks. Buy the EastEnders boxset and get a free exhaust-pipe to front window attachment.

      Beeb is about as relevant as taking a piano to a gun battle. They wouldn’t have the cock to repeat some of the classic shows from years ago, and their answer is to turn out very watered-down PC re-cunts so as not to offend anything with a central nervous system.

      Imagine if today’s main channels accidentally screened the sketch with Ronnie Barker as Ringo Chutney. The right-on think tankers would scream shock horror, spill their latte and go off and form a little online Twatter lynchmob. Everything these days has to have a subliminal political message woven into it, which in turn causes the creators vast amounts of smug satisfaction and wanking material for a long time.

      Nobody wants these shit efforts and wank remakes. Today’s comedy just isn’t funny. It’s funny to new age hipsters while they’re having their nails done and beards trimmed, but that’s about it. TV today is seriously tired. Glad I don’t watch it, because it’s a wheelbarrow load of cunt.

      • Eastenders isn’t a soap opera it’s a documentary though it has too many white people in it. Ever been to East London? What a bunch of miserable cunts. The happy go lucky cockney stereotype is long dead.

      • To clarify:-

        I mean too many Whites as it’s not a true reflection of East London demographics.

  6. The shit com format isn’t and never was very funny. Sure there have been exceptions, all well known greats but they are few and far between when compaired to the number if really shit ones. It isn’t suprising as trying to make the same situation and characters funny for half an hour a week for 6 to 9 weeks in a row is near imposible, it takes huge tallents to be able to do it well. I would rather see a good stand up act or a sketch show.

  7. The trouble is Skiddy,the likes of Python and/or a decent comedian like Dave Allen,would just go over the heads of most of todays ignorant,social media addicted,thick as pigshit cunts….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

    • To be honest if you look back most of Python was shit. Some of it was brilliant but mostly self indulgent “look at us, we are soooo clever” bollocks. I think the last good sketch show was the Fast Show but there are still some good stand ups around but mostly Amaricunts like Doug Stanhope.

      • You can’t look back. Python was great at that time, not that funny now but it wasn’t written for posterity for fuck’s sake.
        Be grateful it ever was on and if we chortled because we knew who Proust was , so what ,we were all cunts at some time.

        The BBC have commissioned this for the same reason as Hollywood made Rocky for ever. They have run out of ideas and there is no one writing funny stuff any more.
        Fuck me running , the TV wankers think Gervaise is funny, like an anal abcess is funny. they are bereft of any ideas because they are full of longfaced boring not bright socialist pissers straight out of Skegness University and have never had a real laugh at anything because they are as thick as a vanload of spam.
        The BBC needs a cauterisation and a restaffing with talent instead of Uni fresh PC cunts.

    • Plus innuendo is a thing of the past with most these days, as is innocence, what made a lot of the old shows funny was the thought you were having a naughty chuckle with the writes at the expense of the overstuffed shirts like Mary Whitehouse,,, although these days I wish she would come back ,,,Mary all is forgiven!

  8. The most use I get from the BBC is their radio stations. Once the condescending Cambell cunt and that dull as dishwasher Chiles cunt have fucked off at least I get a bit of sport…well apart from last week when they were gushing the fuck out of Dame Sarah Storey’s medal tally in the Raspberry Olypics.

    Impressive – you might think – but when I checked out her disability, she has a bit of a Beadle hand. So basically an able bodied person, I’d be a bit peeved if I was a proper Raspberry up against that bloody cheat!

    Anyway, I digress. I can’t remember the last BBC “original” I had any interest in. Probably the first series of Ripper Street and even that now is made by Amazon.

    The News was the only other thing the BBC had going for it but since New Labour got into power in 1997 even that’s diminished into shite starting with that cunt Mark Thompson and continued through to the current incumbent shit-stain Tony Hall.

    The BBC will never have another original programme because they are no longer allowed to have any original ideas anymore for fear of offending anyone (apart from white heterosexuals who work for a living and pay their license fee – they can all fuck off).

    If the latest luvvie/liberal fad is balloon swinging lesbo pygmies from the Amazon you can guarantee the next big programme will have one of these cunts cast in the top role.

    As for factual reporting – hah – again the only facts they’re interested in are the appeasing, luvvie liberal shite they think we should hear/care about.

    So why stop at Shane Allen, the whole of the BBC is a cunt!

    • Let the cunts actually work to get money in to make programmes instead of relying on the current tax.
      It’s our money you cunts so spend it on what we want,not the lefty wankstain so called comedy etc you waste it on.
      As for the remakes of old comedies, what cunt thought that was a good idea ? Track them down and shoot them, all their colleagues, their families and colleagues families and do it all publically “pour encourager les autres”
      Cunts

      • Yes I demand that the BBC do a remake of Love Thy Neighbour but in this series the punchline to each episode is where the white bloke comes out on top (yep BBC flip that fucker over – you cunts).

        I also demand that Mind Your Language is remade except the three key phrases that the fop teacher has to teach them in this series are:

        1. “Race relations.”
        2. “Where is my housing benefit?”
        3. “Can you please direct me to the nearest DHSS.”

        The real punchline to the whole series though is that they all speak perfect English until a knew character – PC Plod – comes in, and then they mysteriously can only babble in their own lingo requiring the assistance of an interpreter.

        When that happens the look on the fop teacher’s face will be priceless! How I’ll larrrrrrrf!

        BBC cunts!

  9. 24 hour news is a rolling cunt. You would think that a 24 hour channel dedicated to nothing but the news would be a golden oportunity for all these “journalists” to do some proper in depth hard hitting investigative work for a change. Or you might think they could screen independant documentaries now and again. But no. What you get is 20 minutes of biased shallow news coverage tailored for the hard of thinking followed by 8 minutes of football pretending to be sport coverage and 2 minutes of weather. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat……Cunts.

    • You get some good independent documentaries on RT, but the cunts who run the electronic program guide don’t give any details

    • The ‘Breaking News’ phenomenon that the BBC and Sky are so obsessed with is a total load of wank… I recall when Paedo Jacko snuffed it and there was ‘Breaking News’ about the weirdo’s demise… We then got about an hour and a half of a camera outside the late Wacko’s house with a ‘Breaking News’ caption, but fuck all else happened…. They also did the same thing when Prince popped his high heels…

      Last BBC original I watched was Life On Mars/Ashes To Ashes… Even Ripper Street is now on a Muslim kick… What a load of shite…

  10. The pig fucker has done one. What a cunt. I wonder where he will go to next? Its either Goldman Sachs or a top job in the EU.

    • Nah we left .The EU gravy train is over for failed MPs.The BBC and the mainstream media are cunts.Saying that Hillary Clinton stumbled yesterday.To anyone with functioning eyes it was obvious that she swayed then fell violently forward into the car at such a force it looked like she fainted as she didnt try and break the fall and cling to her helpers.

    • Got a job as Frau Merkels’ gimp. Sentenced to spend eternity 69ing the bitch. Serves him right.

  11. The writers who are genuine talent and capable, if given the chance of making genuinely funny shows, are not bothering because they know that it’s a fucking minefield.
    It’s pretty much impossible to make funny tv without being controversial in one form or another.
    The Cunts at beeb have taken that off the list.
    Nobody can ever be offended.
    All persons and minorities must be promoted.
    Nothing comedy in that ethos.

    So the only ones penning anything are the signed up, minority loving, Marxist losers, who make shite like Miranda.
    And of course the ones who do the commissioning are on the same page.

    Hence.
    Wall to wall horse piss

  12. At least The Great British Bake Off or whatever it’s called won’t be returning to the BBC. Apparently the Corporation won’t pay the production company’s asking price.
    Thank fuck they won’t be wasting anymore of my money on this shite.The cunts.

    • Fuck me, the beeb are actually turning into that parody of themselves W1A (with Hugh Bonnaville in it).

      Don’t tell me, the production company was called “Perfect Curve”?

      Whoever they are, what a bunch of cunts! No one in their right mind would believe anyone would be interested in some cunt cooking a bread bun but through the Strictly Come Dancing spin machine every libbo cunt thinks they should be watching it purely because their libbo friends are watching it!

      If they were being honest, most of the cunts watching it would rather have a root canal done with a Black & Decker but because they might miss out on tomorrow’s “lactose free skinny latte machiato with responsibly sourced chocolate” gossip, they watch like it was the last programme they’ll ever see!

      Fucking shallow cunts. I’ve had cups of tea with more depth!

      The extravagant asking price (of our money) will have been more that fair. What’s really happened is that the production company has fucked off to Sky (or whoever) and agreed terms before Auntie Beeb even got a look in.

      No skin of my nose but if the BBC are uber-cunts – which they are – these fucking production companies must be mega-cunts!

      • Maybe Shane Allen and Tony Hall could replace the programme with the Great British Wank Off to see which one of them could spread glacé icing over Mary Berry’s face first. Might over run into the news slot though………

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