The Olympics [3]

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The Olympics is a lot of old wank. It lost all its questionable credibility when they allowed professional athletes and sports wo/men to compete.

The choice of sports is wank too. Why is football in there FFS? We already have the World Cup! Hours and hours of televised bean poles running round and round a fucking track – how riveting. I’d file the

Olympics under ‘just because it can be on TV doesn’t mean it should be’.

Speaking of wanking, the women’s beach volleyball competition is worth a look.

Nominated by: Immitation Yank

The Olympics is a cunt.

Now I actually enjoy some of the events (Womens Volleyball, Track and Field, Table Tennis etc) but what pisses me off is all the washed up ‘Experts’ the BBC drag over there (at the license payers expense). A lot of these cunts never even won a Gold Medal which is what you want to win at an Olympics, Silver and Bronze is for the first and second losers.

Then you have all these new sports there like Football and Tennis, what a cunt. I remember them making certain road lanes in London ‘Olympic Lanes’ so that some cunt could get around quicker than the rest of us road tax payers. Then you have things like Equestrian or whatever the fuck its called with a load of rosy cheeked posh cunts pissing around on a Horse, now if they had Jousting that would be good.

What I am trying to say is that the once great Olympics has now become a cunt. Still watching it though. Pole vaulter Allison Stokke could definitely vault on my pole.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

25 thoughts on “The Olympics [3]”

  1. I take issue with any Olympic event that relies on the views of others to decide the winner.

    Judges awarding points, immediately make it a non sport and there’s plenty of them.
    Fastest..highest…longest is sport, not points awarded from the Luxembourg judge.

    My current pet hate is synchronised diving.
    Watching two poofs bounce off a springboard then climb into the hot tub together is not a sport.

  2. I love the way the BBC feel compelled to show the 10,000 metres, the marathon, the 50km walk, etc., in their entirety (as well as that fucking dry 5hrs of The Londistan Marathon) from start to finish.

    Dear BBC, you only need show the start and the finish – the bits anyone is remotely interested in – of these mind-numbing events, not every fucking step of the way! Ok, occasionally you get an entertaining interlude like Paula Radcliffe having to take a quick “flock of sparrows” shit into a drain, but as these incidents are as rare as a right-wing point of view on your channel these days, showing them for hours at a time really isn’t doing the license fee justice.

    Oh and when some shit does happen, like when women’s favourite in the cycling road race went arse over tit, please have the decency to show the re-run in full, rather than pause just before the incident and then “describe” it. We can take it, we’re all grown-ups, and seeing a gaggle of these fuckwits’ scrawny arses sliding down the side of Sugarloaf mountain makes endless hours of turgid coverage almost bearable! You cunts!

  3. better than unsyncronised, then they just be landing on each others cocks

    • Should have synchronised wanking. No need for judges just a high speed camera to measure the synchronicity of the outpourings.
      Also, isn’t there enough fucking tennis and football? Fucking golf and shooting? And what the fuck is dancing in posh clothes on horseback about? Why not go the whole hog and have darts and shove hapenny? With the drug testers ensuring all competitors are shit faced as standard.

      • They should wank all over those judges wearing ponchos by the side of the pool and the jacuzzi should be filled with 10 naked lesbians (paid lesbians as we all sadly know real lesbians look worse than men)

  4. The Walking Event at the Olympics is a cunt.
    We’ve all been there, about to shit yourself and you’ve got a 70 yard walk to the toilet. You can’t run because everyone will know your about to shit yourself and if you walk you might take too long and shit yourself anyways. So you end up looking like one of these Olympic Walking Event cunts. I mean what the fuck is this event all about? A load of cunts all looking and walking like they need a shit and all trying to beat eachother to the only toilet for miles. Imagine your Dad was in the Olympics competing in this event. The cunts.

  5. The fucking bicyclists are very special cunt cunts. These drug-fuelled cunts, dressed up as faggots, playing on childrens’ toys and expecting to be taken as “serious athletes” FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS ! I laughed my cock off when the daft cunts fell off their toys last week.

  6. I reckon the Olympic cycling events at the Veledrome could be drastically improved, especially for the viewer, if the cyclists rode 1970’s chopper bikes whilst giving a “backie” to a fat sweaty bird who’s eating a bag of chips…..I’d watch that.

    • Ah, yes. Chopper bikes with the plastic gear handle broken off leaving the metal shaft sticking out at maiming height to fuck up your chances of fathering little cunts, and a funny walk for the rest of your days on this of planet of cunts, but not enough to kill.

  7. Does anyone remember that film ‘Rollerball’ from the ’70’s?

    If that was an Olympic sport, complete with fatalities I might take an interest.

    Until that time it is just people who use their own personality as contraception running, jumping and throwing shit.

    • Fantastic opening sequence with Bachs’ toccata and fugue as the soundtrack. Thanks for reminding me of it, I think I’ll dig it out tonight. They made a re-make a while back but predictably it was shit.

      I like those 70s si-fi films like Soylent Green, Silent Running, Logan’s Run, Omega Man and even the first Planet of the Apes. They were all visions of a dystopian future with something to say instead of huge CGI wankfests that pass for si-fi today.

      • Was that the one with that cunt who tried to be Superman in the 90’s.

        Always fancied that Teri Hatcher bird mind until she got them oot fo’ tha’ boys in some film afterwards and they were like a couple of fried eggs hanging from a nail!

        Fuck me those wonder bra’s are good!

      • Isn’t David Carradine in Death Race 2000?

        Agree about Hatcher… All smoke and mirrors…
        Salma Hayek…. Now, she has got a pair…..

      • Salma Hayek is the 8th richest women in Britain worth 2.35 billion quid. Seems like the jugs paid off then.

      • How do these cunts make so much money from the shitty films they do? This is what has led me to believe selling your soul to the devil is a real thing

  8. I hated Sports Day when I was at school, and I’m fucked if I’m going to get excited about four weeks of the fucking thing.

  9. How come they are not letting professional boxers have a go? It would be carnage. Good.

    • I think they should introduce synchronised boxing to the olympics. They hit each other at the same time and the last one to hit the canvas wins. And what about marbles? There’s a lot of skill in that.

  10. I don’t see what the problem is with doping. The last time I smoked any dope I couldn’t move from the sofa for 2 hours. I don’t see how that would give anyone an unfair advantage unless they make playing Call of Duty while eating cheesy puffs an Olympic event.

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