We all remember the horse burgers and their ever so tasteful remembrance day pizza. But now the cunts have thrown customers out of one of their stores for putting their shopping in Asda bags that they brought with them.
Retail fascism? What lunacy is next in this crappy country of ours? The UK has gone for the toss! People who are out of work are treated worse than actual criminals ( the unemployed get longer Community service and more surveillance!). We’ve got an Etonian deviant who puts his John Thomas in pigs heads as PM, and now innocent people are ejected from a supermarket because they have the wrong bag?!?
This country is absolute shite and fucking insane! And I hope those Tesco scum get the bollocks sued off them…
Nominated by: Norman
This bloke got a bad deal too http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w9KFI6F_ndY/VFUx1ICcoCI/AAAAAAAAFQs/rAam1DKFQ9M/s1600/Bj7r7jFIcAADEds.jpg
0
I once ate a pasty on Cambridge station, was so fucking hot I reckon it had been heated up in the core of some local experimental reactor… Two weeks later my mouth had just about returned to normal. Sticking yer knob in a Greggs item seems like lunacy, Christ knows what’s in them (well, I suppose we do have an idea now…). Am only surprised that our wonderful leader hasn’t been caught at Greggs, having a quick poke-out…
1
Once ate a pasty on m way svcs.The great cornish pastie co.It was late in the day and had been reheated since 6 am and as appetizing as a shit sandwich.At £4 too but free to me as i got a coach card.Still tasted like a shit sandwich though.Next time ill get a dog burger from burger king even if it means standing behing 3 fat chav familys with ten kids for 15 minutes.
1
I’m no legal eagle but I’d imagine that Greggs would only be resonsible for the temperature of the pasty as sold. If it’s been reheated then I reckon he’s onto a loser…
He’d have to be a real person, of course…
0
Very Funny. Stupid Cunt will probably win as well.
0
T.E.S. Cohen.
Cunts!
0
Ben Stokes.
No, not really but I bet he feels like a right cunt just at this moment.
0
Bowling Stokesy! Keep em there!
0
Ohhhhhhhhhhh my gosh! You haven’t seen cunt until you’ve watched Bob Geldof on WB Yeats: A Fanatic Heart on BBC 4. As if this cunt is some kind of modern day Keats! He fancies that he’d be a close friend of Yeats, as if they’re kindred spirits or something. What an unforgivable human being, and to put the icing on the cake……Bono is involved. Fuck me.
1
Ahhhhh! He’s just referred to him as Willy! Fuck off Robert.
1
Bono and Geldof absolute cunts! In their minds they are saving the world, in reality they are bunch of scamming bellends with gigantic bank accounts and multiple mansions . Good for nothing bastards , yeah like two irish paddy cunts are gonna save the world hahaha what a laugh potato pricks
0
….they should have sought the opinions of Conor McGregor too
1
“give us yor fuckan muney!!!!”
0
My utter disdain of Geldof is equalled by my dislike of Bono. Coupla Oirish cunce!
0
If I had a time machine Id transport those two vile cunts back to sometime BC and have em row the galleys while I beat the drum.
0
I had a minor altercation with some spread belly mouth breather of a store assistant in my local Tesco Metro the other day. I only wanted beer and as it was a weekend no fucker was actually at the tills, so it was self service all the way. Being prepared, I brought my own bag, duly placed it in the bagging area and touched ‘done’. The first item went in and it announced ‘unexpected item in bagging area’.
I waited a few minutes for the fuck mook to come and check, thus resulting in a cancelled purchase and having to start over. This happened a further 2 times, each time the wait getting longer.
Now as it was a weekend and no cunt wants to work, it was now apparent to me why the none of the 3 self service till were working, the tunnel cunt hag returned and tried to belittle me protesting that I was ‘doing it wrong’.
Maintaining some composure, and resisting the urge not to break one of said beer bottles on the counter and jam it in her face, whilst being told ‘its a weighing scale, it has to weight the bag, thats why it won’t work’.
I then pointed out that if it was indeed a weighing scale, then maybe someone should get off their fat arse and clear up the half kilo of fucking paper receipts off the weighing surface before implying I was at fault. I was asked to pay quickly and leave.
Also in need of an emergency cunting are parents who allow their kids to use the self check out for the family shop. These machines have their limitations, but if like me you don’t enjoy spending too much time interacting with the pond life out there in the world, then these machines do allow military style raids to be carried out on supermarkets, with minimal fuss (except fucking Tesco Metro).
Unless of course Tarquin, Poppy and Geraint are arguing over who gets swipe the stuff through, whilst the bearded weirdo/hippy Guardian reading parents try, and fail, to continually explain how to use the machine. The amount of time I have had to waste waiting for your cunt kids to finish their play learning experience is not funny.
And the same goes for all the cunt parents who let their kids push the trolley around the supermarket. Its not a fucking playground, stop indulging the little cunts whims and start giving them a good swift back hand more often, just in case.
2
This would be funny but it ain’t. There are hordes of these Viz Modern Parents who live their excremental lives foisting anything on their unfortunate broods as some kind of distorted learning experience.
They wander round clothed in Mummy’s Little Helper high vis waistcoats ( presumably to prevent them being reversed over by the family charabang) annoys my joe public with their stupid public displays of shit parenting, and the bigger the audience the better.
No sense of discipline, everything is shared it negotiated – well, you don’t negotiate at a fucking checkout with a three year old and a queue the length of a queasy jet arrival desk.
Try WHS for a challenge in avoiding any human contact.
There’s me stood in the local one when up pops Ms Jobsworth (and she/it had the usual 10 o’clock shadow) and says it would be quicker to self abuse myself on the gizmo.
Despite my protestations she took the mag (I really wish it had been Bestiality Monthly now) and whizzed it past the scanner and asked for a fiver to feed the robot. All fine until the change popped out and she asked me to take it from the chute, which I refused to do as I didn’t want to use the fucking thing in the first place. Followed by – ‘ooh, I’m not allowed to handle the money’ !!!
Easily solved – I demanded the transaction was voided, my fiver was returned and I went back to the till making the point that it was quicker with humans and that she was doing herself out of her own pointless existence.
All bollocks, I refuse to use these bloody things, the banks are even worse so I make a point of going to the till now to draw out small sums.
Who said pedantry was boring – it’s great fun.
Fuck Tescos by the way, they are cunts.
1
Tried using one of these bloody pay machines in local Waitrose…heap of wankety-crap, the fecker doesn’t take cash. Cards only. Fack that!! In Sainsbury’s, it bleeped continually at me for about five minutes until someone turned up… “oh you’re trying to buy alcohol!! I’ll have to override it.” Was I asked for proof of age? Er, no, but then I look like a coffin dodger, and if I want to be REALLY nasty, can smell like one too. Useful trick, when you want to vent your annoyance… Also, as for “unexpected item in bagging area”, more than once I’ve been sorely tempted to leave a honking great shit, and, by God, it would be riper than any of the fruit they’re trying to flog…
1
Go on, have a dump, you’ll be able to see how much weight you lose. Fucking ace post, love it!!!!??
0
Too be fair, you sound like a fully paid up member of the awkward squad you cunt.
0
Not at all, not meant as a challenge or criticism at all. It was genuine even though it probably doesn’t read well. I was very amused by the honking shit bit.
0
Sainsburys bollocks to that I’m not paying that cunt Jamie Olivers wages.And Waitrose can take a large fuck off tablets .Drove through (vale of Evesham posh bastards only please) No other supers cept poxy Waitrose went in came out prices 30% plus then this fucker follows me out and accuses me of shop lifting.
0
I’m in Tesco now and their wi-fi won’t let me on is-a-cunt! Some bollocks about public access, blah… yeah because naturally I wander about showing my phone to all the kids….
Cunts!
1
don’t look at kids if you do your treated as a peado now.Hate parents at campsites that let their little bastards run around with no clothes on and then suspect some single bloke in the next tent is a kiddie fiddler.Horrid bastards.
1
Hate those fat cunts with a pair of trolleys piled so high it looks as though theyre expecting a nuclear war and your behind them with 2 items and fat cunt in tracksuit looks at you and smirks as if to say” ya can fackin wait”.Usually Aldi or LiddL .See them loading cholesterol items into Vauxhall zafira..the cunts.Theyre proud of being fat it cost a lot of money.
1
thick as shit cunts that read a paper that takes all of 2 minutes( seen the tits) now bored “shal we gah a morrisons.I swear these sweaty mindless oafs go shopping like its a day out standing there staring at the baked beans for 10 minutes while I’m trying to get to a tin of.How to shop!…Make a list…. whizz around grab listed items and get the fuck out of there asap.Early morning is best and as for Christmas shopping Id sooner go to the dentist, fuck that,hate Christmas (starts in fucking august now and hate kids too. modern vicious little fucks) Ive been fortunate enough to spend the last 8 Christmas,s in Thailand. Christmas and supermarkets and kids FUCK OFF!
0
why do these vile benefits (£1000 a week of which a twoer will go on lotto n scratch cards) fatso shithouse familys always go around in Vauxhall zafiras?I hate Vauxhalls and find that theyre usually driven by cunts. had a neighbour with a cavalier sri pair of horrid bastards who expected access to parking right outside there cahncil arse cunts.Vauxhall badge uuugh a griffin with a flagpole up its arse.
0
Drive a citroen c5 estate me and drive down through france staying in different places.Fatso Vauxhall zafira benefits family “we,re takin the kids to Disneyland florida” Plebs like that depress the hell out of me,yeah florida courtesy of the tax payer.Ten years ago worked as bus driver north London one week earned £788 took home £522 party of low taxation my arse, of course weve got all these stinking suicide bomber wogs with 20 cunt kids to house n feed havnt we….. nearly forgot.
0