Parky deserves a serious cunting for fronting the Sun Life Guaranteed Over 50 Plan for so long.
Many people of a certain age trust Parky, so it’s a great choice for Sun Life. What the ill-informed cunts don’t realise is that these plans are one of the worst type of so-called investments that it is possible to make. “All we ask is that you keep paying your premiums for life, or your Plan will end and you’ll get nothing back”. “Depending on how long you live, you could pay in more than the cash sum paid out.” Cunts.
And don’t get me started on you get a free pen just for applying. That’s something you really need when you’re over 50, isn’t it. A fucking pen. Cunts.
But Parky gets the cunting for promoting it.
Nominated by: Pedro Almovar
Right on, this cunt has made a fortune from fronting these shite adverts; this firm is not known for the fantastic value of it’s products. Anyway I am sick to my back teeth with all these fucking bastards trying to screw my last few quid so as to “make sure my relatives” do not have any worries paying for my funeral. Fuck my funeral I plan to be late for mine and anyway I’ll be dead so I will not be that bothered. Life is a big enough cuntfest as it is without my afternoon telly being haunted by smug faced washed up cunts of actors banging on about funeral plans/insurance and then giving suggestive looks as the proffer a plethora of cheap shite to make you go all gooey inside and say yes the musical lawnmower is a fantastic incentive to give another tort of my pittance to a bunch of besuited wankers so I do not have to worry about my funeral. Fucking bollocks to them all and as an aside is Parkinson still alive? Either way a damm good cunting.
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Musical lawnmower? Sounds interesting but how about an autonomous mower, so I don’t have to push the cunt about. If they can make it pick dog shit up as well sign me up…
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Right on! These fucking over 50s plans (one wonders who the plan is for) are a scam. Most won’t pay for the first year anyway so one has to go on a teetotal hummus and keenwah diet for the first year.
‘Doesn’t matter if you have health issues’ – too fucking right, the more chronic ones you have the better, they shower you with free biros when you fess up to that, you can hear Arkwright’s till kerchinging as you sign.
I signed up for one and cancelled it before the first payment was due, purely out of spite for the bank wasting my time, cunts.
We should all go for that direct cremation business everyone does now, straight into the AGA for about a grand. Saves a shed load which one could happily spend on fripperies and indulgences, and cuts out the crying competitions that funerals have become now.
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NOMINATION:
Amateur Dramatics deserves a good cunting.
Mrs Boaby’s Sister is a wanna be actor, actress or whatever the PC ‘term’ is these days. Her claim to fame is being an extra in some BBC period drama 12 years ago (I forget the name) which was filmed at Felbrigg Hall in Norfolk. You cannot even see her face and no-where is she credited apart from her own CV.
She is a member of the local ‘amateur dramatics society’ and last night I had to endure their performance of ‘Cat On A Hot Tin Roof’
For fuck sakes, it was fucking dire. The film was bad enough, but a cheap local ‘am-dram’ production made me want to rip my own arsehole out.
Amateur Dramatics, more like Amateur Traumatics
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Yup! Shamateur Rheumatics is fucking dire, even worse if it involves ‘singing’, cue a caterwauling to frighten all the geriatric audience.
Even worse are those ‘performances’ by kids where they all get endless applause for doing fuck all.
I’d rather watch a nativity play but that would get the Met Police involved these days.
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What about pantomime with Christopher Biggins as Widow Wanky and John Barrowman as Alladin ( a lad in) He’s behind you. Where else? I won’t start about The Genie of the Ring.
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I have not heard anything fro Parky in about 20 year. Nice aside, Shipmans … Lucky we do not have to listen to his false advertising in the colonies.
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Couldn’t stand Parky’s talk show. He was very patronising to his guests and put on a fake laugh. Totaly false and a total cunt.
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At least he let his guests talk and it was about them. Not like Ross who just uses his guests as a foil for his wise cracks. Cunt.
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Hes a cunt. I hope he makes me proud in this dead pool.
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Parky is a cunt, but as a chat show host he was miles ahead of these modern cunts like Jonathan Woss, Keith Lemon (twat), that fat turd, James Corden and those bottybashers, Norton and Carr… Someone should tell these narcissistic cunts that a chat show isn’t a comedy programme, the host of the chat show isn’t supposed to be the star, and that a chat show host isn’t a comedian…
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The pen ? The pen was a brilliant idea, a fucking magnificent marketing tool. I for example ignored this advert when it came on at first, ignored that is until they mentioned the pen. At this my ears pricked up and I couldnt sign up quick enough. Sadly Ive lost it now so Im waiting for a PPI ad to come on which offers a similar deal and Im in.
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Parky is a pen pusher cunt.
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Window cleaners are cunts…
Years ago we had one window cleaner, a nice bloke called Brian… And he went everywhere on his bike and he grafted… He cleaned all the windows on every house in the street and he charged a fair price for it… Brian finally retired around 1996…
Fast forward to 2016… The modern window cleaner travels around in a van and has two or three goons ‘helping’ him to do the windows… Except they do fuck all… These twats will do the front (lounge and bedroom) windows if somebody is in to see/watch them… But most of the time they don’t bother… They hardly ever do the side windows and they never do the upstairs back windows… I have words with this cunt several times and now our esteemed window cleaner now wants 5.50 (five pounds fucking fifty!) every two weeks for cleaning three front windows… Well, I am going to tell him to fuck off when he turns up tomorrow… This cunt also does his ’rounds’ when it is pissing down and expects to be paid for cleaning your windows when it is raining… Thieving cunt…
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Our local window cleaner looks like the sort who would steal the fillings out of your teeth or sell your organs if you stood still for long enough. I bought one of those telescopic extending squeegee thingys off Ebay so I can do ours myself and the scruffy cunt gives me daggers looks every time he passes by.
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It’s the little things in life that bring the most pleasure…
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£5.50 for slapping some soapy water on with a sponge and running a squeegee over 3 windows? Takes like 3 minutes max!
Fuck me, I might start a window cleaning firm in my dotage. I might get some horny housewife action
https://www.flickr.com/photos/triggerscarstuff/6341100470/
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Lovely Jag behind the Askwith cunt.
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Daimler 250 V8 version to be precise, sorry M’lord I’m a pedantic cunt…..
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Parky’s Pen? Bloody useful when you get to my age. Keep ’em all and the charity crap pens and the little Argos pens. Point is never write with the fuckers but old cunts like yours truly do get phenomenally constipated and Parky’s Parker Pen is made to order for digging the old compressed shite oit orf a fellah’s arse. Bit like p[g sticking in me old India days.
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Actually looks like Parky is using one himself in that photo.
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I think Parkinson’s reputation relies on a lot of nostalgic mis-remembering. He tended to fawn over the guests appallingly. For example, he could have tried asking Gene Kelly (fucking fantastic performer, don’t get me wrong) about his misty-eyed support for the fucking IRA…
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If they have to bribe you with a pen and a free gift, you know it’s crap.
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Parky and over 50 investmens and funeral plans.
Well parky, they named a desease after you, makes wanking easy for the over 60, s.
Investments, yep played that game, sorry we pissed your money up, well I cut out the middle man, smoke and drink to my hearts demise.
Funeral plan, got that covered too, I donated my body to science, I won’t fucking need it, allso hopefully the med students will do a few basic checks before they hack me up, and a free remembrance service 4 years after the fact!
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Funeral plan. Ain’t got one. Ain’t getting one.
Doesn’t cost seven grand to burn anything.
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I’m leaving my body to a chef… (was going to say tv, but that’s open to misinterpretation these days). They can marinade me in a necessarily large vat of PX or Tokaj, even if I’m not 100% dead I soon will be, make sausages, pate &c., have a “hog roast” with the rest. Plenty of natural fat for delicious fried potatoes. No need for a box, crem, any of that crap!!
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