The Confused.com robot

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I fucking hate that cunt of a robot that’s in those confused.com adverts….

That irritating little fucker that sounds like a Daft Punk record (ie: nauseatingly shite!)…. Of course, loads of riff-raff and thick cunts think this thing is cute (see cunting of Meerkats)…

Personally I’d cover it in diesel and flick matches at it….

Nominated by: Norman

( and the little cunt is breeding!.. )

54 thoughts on “The Confused.com robot”

  1. hahaha i’m not sure I can cunt the little guy Norm, I like robots and personally hope the end of the world has something to do with em.

    Ps you’ll be there a fucking long time trying to get diesel to light with matches mate.

    • You’re right about the diesel, pal… Petrol would be better…
      I like Daleks… Although a Dalek isn’t really a robot….

      One of the best robots is BT-1 (aka Beetee): a totally psychotic assassin droid from the current ‘Darth Vader’ series by Marvel… BT-1works for Vader and is like a sadistic R2-D2, and his partner, 000 (aka Triple Zero) is a specialist torture droid…

      • “Marvin” was alright, the original “Marvin” and not the castrated iBot of the film shat out of Hollywood seven years ago.

      • I always hated Twiki from Buck Rogers In The 25th Century… Bidi, Bidi Bidi etc…

        He was a little cunt..

      • Oh, he was such a twat. “Bidi bidi bidi – good shooting Buck”. Fuck you cunt. K9 would have kicked your cunt arse.

  2. I’ve taken the liberty of appending Asimov’s laws…

    1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

    2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

    3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

    and…

    4. A robot must not be an annoying little cunt.

  3. the robots name is brian the cunt and the only thing diesel will do is make dust stick to him,a gallon of unleaded over the fucker to get him going and an old tyre with diesel in it for the long burn as they used to use on the old speed cameras just to make sure you fry everything inside good and proper

  4. The best one was 790 in Lexx.. We shared personality traits and an overwhelming compulsion to fornicate with Xenia Seeberg.

  5. I’d like to cunt Ian Sawyer who has reported Tyson Fury to the police for hate crime. While I think that Tyson Fury is also a complete cunt with ridiculous ideas, in this country we still (just about) have the right to freedom of expression as long as violence is not incited and I don’t believe that the idiot has done that.

    I am really worried about our seemingly decreasing right to free speech, it has already been stopped by Muslim apologists by the use of the ridiculous term ‘Islamophobia’ and by certain Muslims who are prepared to kill for any perceived slight to their prophet.

    Maybe I should also cunt religion in general for being granted far too much respect whilst not having a shred of evidence for the existence for any of its claims. Religion is the basis of Tyson Fury’s opinions, but sadly the Bible/Koran etc. give credence to all these appalling ideas.

    • Fury has just been stripped of his title… Whether this is because he won’t fight Vyacheslav Glazkov, or because Fury is a total potato headed bogtrotter knobhead is up for debate… I bet Fury loves ‘The Quiet Man…’ Big tough John Wayne playing a Plastic Paddy boxer who is ‘masterful’ with ‘his woman..’ To be sure, to be sure…

      • He’s been stripped of the IBF title. It was because Glazkov was the mandatory challenger, and Tyson Fuckwit signed for a rematch with Klitschko instead. He keeps the other two belts he won. For now. Self styled ‘Gypsy King’. All that means, is that he’s a thieving Irish scumbag.

    • religion is the opium of the masses, it is a usefull tool to deprive people of their rightful gains on the understanding that they will have a fun and fantastic time in the afterlife whilst you will burn in hell because of your life of indulgence and ritches.
      However I think with the modernisation of Jihad and the weapons used that the Koran be amenede and that online gaming be included in the scope of Jihad, there fore in the eyes of the almighty it would be possible for you to don a suicide vest and be able to obtain martyrdom in the comfort of your own living room whilst playing “call of duty” on your x box.
      Now thats a smashing idea if ever their was one!

    • I know what you mean about free speech. I hear there are sites where you can’t use the word: Yi……oops! nearly; or Kik……damn! It’s like walking on egg shells.

      You know the trouble with the: niggas, spiks, wops, wogs, pikies and chinks is? They don’t hate the fucking jews enough.

  7. Louis van Gaal said “facts” proved his Manchester United side were better than last year, after they were knocked out of the Champions League… Better? Not from where I’m standing… I am sick of tactics, wing-backs (for fuck’s sake), possession and favoured fat cunt Scousers… I am also sick of boring as fuck football (it’s like Sexton all over again)… Whatever happened to two wingers and ‘Fuck it, let’s attack?’ And all these ‘Dossiers’ and ‘Facts..’ He sounds like Rafa Benitez, and that is not a good thing…

    LVG is in danger of entering cunt territory…

    • Plus the wide-headed cunt appears to recognise Fellaini and Ashley Young as footballers. Silly man.

      • True, Cunt O’MaCunto… Once it was Hill and Coppell on the wings.. Then Olsen and Strachan… Then Giggs and Kanchelskis… Now it’s Ashley Fucking Young and that other clueless cunt, Antonio Valencia…. Jesus Christ…

  8. I know nothing of football, but Louis van Gaal has the air (and hair) of an ex Hitler youth.

    • spot on, I was thinking last night if someone pencilled a hitler tash on him with permanent marker while he slept and he gave an interview on breakfast tv the next morning mossad would think they hit the jackpot

      • Your right I just googled him and drew a hairy boggie on him and you are spot on.
        Now has any one got any hot tips how to get marker pen off an lcd screen?

  9. Mrs van Gaal most be a very brave woman, I mean, imagine that face looming towards you.Doesn’t bear thinking about.

    • maybe she has a nazi fantasy, she’s the naive milk maid and he’s the ss tank commander who has her cornered in a barn, oh mein gott she cries as he starts unbuttoning his lederhosens….

      Or he just does her from the back, who knows.

      Either way he’s a hitler looking cunt

      • Or she sits on his face and shits in his mouth, which could explain why he’s such a miserble-looking cunt

      • I think you could be right… Jurgen Klopp is turning a demoralised Liverpool around and into a better side… But United still bore their fans shitless…

      • Europa league awaits….and quite honestly it’s all they’re fit for. How the fuck they are still top 4 here can only be through more luck than judgement.

        Fuck liverpool, i’d be demoralised if I lived in liverpool too, capital of culture…capital of cunts more like! clip klopp will be selling his ass in bootle for a £5 bag of shit scag before the end of the season Norm.

      • Thanks Norm and Lou good to be back. My new house is loads better I can breathe a bit easier less stress. My last house was a real shit heap I feel bad for the cunts who bought it. Plus I have a better ISP no more talk talk bullshit. Dio off too norway? fuck Dio must be loaded or something a plane ticket alone is a small fortune. Bleeding norway probably has more muzzie bastards then here what possessed dio to go? Nice to be back though! https://youtu.be/R311tgr0YjU

      • Erm no one informed me of anything so as I said it is an observation not an accusation, no real need to be so defensive.

        As for naivety not a chance, not when it comes to word for word insults/temper tantrums/sulking/being able to dish it out but not take it, I don’t believe in coincidences like that.

        Anyhow, one of my earlier posts was asking where you and fat rich had gone, I also stated that whereas we argued like fuck over religion I still enjoy the variety people I disagree with bring to the table because a forum full of totally like minded people generally equals boredom for me.

        I hope this clears matters up.

      • Because i’ve come to the conclusion there are probably a dozen genuine people here with one account each so to speak and judging by writing styles and word for word insults one other person with a shitload of sockpuppet accounts, that’s an observation by the way not to be confused with an accusation.

      • No I’m not guardian hater you’re ill informed and naive to think observe that.Just because we use some of the same words meansnothing . I’ve alwayshad one account.

      • There’s a surprise….a no show for a couple of days and you turn straight up n reply to this….*shocker LOL 🙂

      • you’ll get mixed up soon and reply as the wrong person, sockpuppet cunts aren’t the brightest candles, they also don’t change their IP address, that is usually their undoing if admin can be bothered.

        Personally I like to see them stay, it amuses me, you amuse me sockpuppet 🙂

      • My last house was a real shit heap I feel bad for the cunts who bought it. Plus I have a better ISP no more talk talk bullshit. Dio off too nor……… Ooops! already posted that, I’ve been rumbled.

        “I’m Spartacus!…….”

      • Nah me neither TS. I thought about it for the purposes of my last post but couldn’t be arsed.

  11. All thos stupid adverts are an annoying attempt to make insurance somehow “funny” and “cool”

    They are just different brands of the same under-writer, some fecking gnome in Zurich, who won’t pay out

    Total and utter rip off, take that robot, shove it up that opera singer’s fat arse, and get him eaten alive by a hoard of zombie Meerkats

  12. I want to nominate arty farty abstract A list celebrity heavy LSD fueled mind fuck story lined desert/ocean/long winding road scene opera soundtracked heavily tattooed men and women Christmas perfume/aftershave adverts for a cunting!

    • Can’t argue with that, mate… I remember a TV comedy show taking the piss out of these adverts years ago… Some skinny bird and lantern jawed bloke were on a beach in black and white soft focus… They both muttered something pretentious and hard to understand… Then the gravel voiced announcer said ‘Calvin Klein’s Bullshit…’ It was right on the money…

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