Two weeks ago, she was replaced by a new postie. And he’s a cunt. Sometimes the mail arrives in the morning, sometimes it arrives at midday, sometimes in the early afternoon. Twice so far, it’s turned up at 6pm. After a recent downpour, I came home to find TWO letters, that were so wet, they fell apart when I tried to open them. I may have mentioned that I’m archer. On Monday, I ordered a piece of equipment called a bow square. It’s basically a ruler, and is used for various measurements. Anyway, my bow square arrived today. Shoved through the letterbox with such force, the dumb cunt bent it.
I collared the twat, only to be given a shrug of his apelike shoulders, and the mumbled words, ‘I’m just doing me job mate”. Well no, fuckwit, you’re not ‘just doing your job”, because you’re job is not simply to put letters and parcels through letterboxes, it’s also to ensure that the mail you deliver is the same GOOD FUCKING CONDITION that it was despatched in.
I went to this numbnuts’ sorting office and complained to the manager, who made it clear he couldn’t give a fuck. So now I’m taking it further. The Royal Mail is SHITE. I used to be against privatisation. Now I look forward to the day when we can choose which postal service we use. Because if the Royal Mail can’t even be bothered to look after the letters and parcels that we place in their ‘care’, then they don’t deserve a monopoly.
Incidentally, one of the two letters was regarding a hospital appointment, and the other contained my car insurance docs. I had to phone the fucking hospital to find out when my appointment was, and I’ve had to ask Aviva to send my copies of the documents. If this shite ‘service’ continues, I’m afraid I’m going to be punching this fucker’s lights out.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
There’s the odd decent old-fashioned postie but the entire staff as a whole are utter twats. The post here comes at around 1300, apart from on a Saturday when it’s here before 0800. You’d think they were allowed to knock off when they’ve finished on a Saturday or something. They’re also incompetent, lazy and fucking thieves. Cunts.
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It’s a glorified paper round and they even manage to fuck that up.
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Have you ever had anything (not) delivered by Yodel?
When I order stuff online and pay for it, only to be informed on the exit page that Yodel are the courier, my heart sinks.
I know it will never arrive, so I tend to just cancel the order now.
The first time this happened was with a fairly expensive piece of computer hardware. For some reason the dumb cunt delivered it to the local Tesco, signed for by a Mr Patel and it was never seen again.
The second time was a bunch of stuff from sports direct for my kid’s birthday.
This time signed for by a Mr ‘Squiggle’ at a totally different address not even in the same postcode and unsurprisingly never seen again.
Third time lucky, sports direct again and again a no show, this time because they ‘lost’ it somewhere between the warehouse and my address.
Royal Mail are massive cunts, but Yodel are lazy, incompetent, thieving, useless cunts.
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True story, I kid you not!
A few years ago I decorated the dining room, after the wife spent 3 days fucking about deciding what colour she wanted I ended up ordering a 10L tub of Dulux on-line (Amazon)
Imagine my horror when I learned the delivery was being couriered by Yodel.
Anyway, the delivery day comes and I am at home all day waiting for the cunts, we live in a nice avenue with only 1 way in and out by road.
Finally gets to about 3pm and I hear a van pull up the avenue, I look out of the window and it’s Yodel.
Shit hot I think, so I put on my shoes and walk out in to the front garden, just as I get outside the door the Yodel van is then driving off!
I could not fucking believe it, he had driven to the address, not bothered to get out of the van and then driven off.
I was fucking livid, so I get straight on the phone to Yodel, after being put on hold for like 10 minutes I finally get to speak to some old tart, I explain what has happened and her reply was “according to our system, delivery was attempted and a card was left”
“Fucking bullshit” I explained, “the cunt drove in to our avenue, there is only 1 road in, I had been waiting all day so I saw him drive in and as I went out to greet him the cunt drove off” – “He didnt even get out of the van so I have no idea how the hell you think he left a missed delivery card”
I then demanded to speak to the CEO, I was told that was not possible, I then demanded to speak to someone and make a formal complaint and explained the situation.
Some bloke was all apologetic, I said I want compensation, I have taken a full day off work to be here for the delivery and your driver reached the address but could not be arsed to get out of the fucking van, no doubt so his tachometer and GPS shows he did his ‘route’.
I get put on hold and then after a few minutes the bloke comes back to say, I have spoken to the delivery driver and he will deliver today by 5pm.
Two hours pass and he indeed did turn up and 5.10pm, and boy did he look fucking livid.
Well maybe if he did the job he was paid to do and delivered parcels then he would be a happier person. the cunt.
I’m glad it was just paint as I assume if it was something electrical the cunt would have kicked the shit out of the parcel after I complained and got his company to send him to do the job he is getting paid for!
Yodel, taken from the old Greek word Yodelus, meaning incompetent cunts
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They are truly dreadful. Much as Royal Mail suck balls, I’ll always try to order from companies which send stuff through the post, rather than using any courier. Because they are apparently astonished when you’re NOT IN DURING THE DAY IN THE WEEK. Because you have a job…
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Equally the fact that you are not fucking in means you should leave instructions where you want your delivery left or else not mind if it is left somewhere safe like round your back in the shed/greenhouse or even in your bin to keep it safe from the fucking rain, as long as a note is left telling you where it is . Alas no , you moan like fuck when this happens , cause you are cunts.
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But I was fucking in, that’s the point.
I watched the cunt drive in to my avenue, he never got out the fucking van and then simply drove off within 15 seconds.
I take it you are a delivery driver, you certainly seem intelligent enough to be one judging by the utter shite you post on this website.
My next nomination is going to be you, you cunt!
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No news is good news
And if there is ought in the letterbox it is not a bithday card
But must say i beat the shit out of an old school mate who worked for the royal mail Very embarrassing and in front of his drunken postman twat friends ?
Ever since WHERES MY GYRO never been back for the green back
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MFI before the interweb and before ikea
MONEY FROM IDIOTS
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A cousin of mine has applied for a night work Xmas casual job with these bastards… He gets an email saying that he’s been invited to what they call a registration event… But he has to go to a link to book a slot for the thing… Why the fuck can’t they just tell him where and when it’s going to be? Anyway he goes to said link and it always says there are no slots available to book… So why fucking invite the boy in the first place?! Our Mark has complained, but the cunts didn’t seem arsed… He requested that they send him details by letter or telephone, but the silly Royal Mail Monkey just said, ‘We don’t do that. We only do stuff about jobs online…’ Yeah, with an online service that is shite and full of faults… Who would have believed it 20 or 30 years ago, that the Royal Mail would one day refuse to send job details by post?! What a bunch of cunts….
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I bought some Nike NK-18 headphones for 49p from China (including postage and packaging costs).
For reason that are irrelevant here I needed to post them on in the UK.
I go to my local post office and wait 15 minutes behind Sloberdan speaking in tongues to his Eastern-block gargoyle kids, and Quinshay radiating schizophrenic violence and a staggering primeval stench, only to be told by the cunt behind the counter that my letter is too big for a 2nd class stamp so I have to buy a ‘large letter’ stamp.
Then I’m told it weighs more than 100g and will cost more.
So I fork out £1.19 and get the fuck out of stinking diversity Bedlam.
Two weeks later, “have you posted the headphones?” The fucking cunts at the ‘Royal’ Mail had thieved them.
The filthy evil cunt Vince Cable is behind the massive deterioration and price hikes. Dirty cunt Cable committed outright fraud selling the post office off at £2.5billion undervalue to banks (what did cunt Cable get out of it).
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He doesn’t know because the plain brown envelope got lost in the post.
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I had some important legal papers sent from South Africa by registered post. ( I told the silly bitch to use DHL but no…) The kaffirs managed to track it onto a plane leaving Johanesburg a month ago but since then fuck all. The Royal Mail don’t give a fuck, they just say the envelope was only registered in South Africa and as soon as it leaves there it becomes untraceable. Its something when the kaffirs can organise a system that works better than the Royal cunting mail.
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We had the same postman for years and everything was fine, then someone decided to reorganised the rounds in the name of “efficiency”, which is management cuntspeak for “let’s change everything for no particular reason.
Current postman is an idiot, he has grasped the basic concept of a postcode, but making the intellectual leap from that, to understanding that the number on the envelope needs to match the number on the door is seemingly beyond him. It may help matters if he actually stopped focussing on his bloody iphone whilst making deliveries.
The only saving grace is that the stand in postie is a babe of stunning beauty. If she was the regular postie, I would seriously consider posting mail to myself, just so I could watch that sweet arse wiggle down my drive. I suppose that makes me a bit of a sad cunt
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I think we all long for the day when robots deliver mail/work in shops/work as nurses etc. and the chav morons can be gassed.
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Royal mail should change their names to royal cunts more suitable I think
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I run my own show now and rely on the royal mail; hoops of fire? damned right.
Revenge is a dish gentlemen of taste serve with super glue and lead shot in the post box locks.
Cunts.
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You should do what I do, if a company tries to fuck me over or takes the piss I simply get a dozen magazines and post them individually to the company, no stamp of course, they have to then pay the postage costs as Royal Mail will deliver a card saying there is post for them which needs to be paid for 🙂
It’s a great way of clearing out that HUGE stack of porn mags from the 80’s sitting in my shed!
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I’ll take them off your hands…
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Unfortunately a lot of the pages are stuck together, it’s damp in the shed, It’s not cum, honest 😛
I have about 150 of them, Razzle, Escort, Derriere, Men Only etc
I did think about selling them on shitbay but figured it was more trouble than it’s worth and I shut my shitbay account years ago, buyers are well looked after but sellers are treated like shit (unless you are a business seller)
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I’m an Ebay business seller and between them and Paypal I get taken for about 20 per cent of my sales in charges, the greedy robbing cunts. It’s not like I’m making thousands from it….
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You Tube for every occasion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TstepZfX58
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😀 That was fucking quality!
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This lot are even bigger cunts than I first thought… My cousin actually (eventually) got a message from Royal Mail: saying he was booked for a 1:30pm interview for a job in Manchester… He gets there in good time and he later described what he saw as ‘more like an ISIS recruitment centre than a Royal Mail job interview…’ Some cunt comes out, casual as you like, and tells him ‘All the Manchester jobs have gone…’ I can guess where: to all the foreign cunts and minimum wage monkeys that were swamping the place… Mark asked why was he told that he was booked for an actual interview for a job at the Manchester office? He then told them that he’d wasted time and money traveling, photocopying and all other kinds of bollocks he was told to bring with him… All he got was a load of bullshit (no apology) and the smarmy cunt told him he ‘might get a job at the Stockport office…’ He told them to stick it up their arse… I hope TNT put these cunts out of business… They are bastards…
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Royal Mail are ‘responsible’ for delivering USPS mail from the states. Twice in 3 weeks they have failed to deliver my packages, the USPS tracking is good until it reaches London, then everything goes dead in the water. All the USPS site states is, ‘Departed London 22 days ago’ and so on…. No package delivered, Royal Mail ‘help’ is f&@€$*g useless as it states, without a tracking number, we can’t trace it. Postman said everything is supposed to be scanned when it enters this country. Ergo, if it isn’t scanned, that leaves the opportunity for some thieving little c&@t to slip into his pocket. Regardless of whether or not the packages are scanned, that have my fucking name and address on the A! How hard can it be you fucking morons! Royal Mail are a fucking clown outfit!
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