Corrie

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Coronation_street_cast_photo_1960

Coronation Street deserves a good cunting.

Once a good show (about 40 years ago!) with endearing and interesting characters, it is now an all-out cuntfest. The stories are ludicrous: there’s a murder every other month, everybody has shagged everyone else, and it’s more like Ancient Rome than a Salford Street. The characters are also complete cunts. Tracy fucking Barlow has a body count bigger than Jack The Ripper (and she gets away with it every time!), Steve MacDonald is like a crap Stan Laurel (only he’s not funny!), that skinny drug dealer Callum is supposed to be scary (when he’s about as scary as Fingermouse!), her with the massive head playing 15 year old jailbait when it’s obvious she’s about 20 years old… Not to mention that little cunt with the curly hair who’s turned into a child psycho, Sally Webster is still a total cunt, Les Dennis (of all people) brought in for a ridiculous storyline (an impostor posing as his son as a joke, then his real son dies), Whining Gail still has no chin, that Scouse cunt, Craig Charles, former devil-child David Platt has turned into Cliff Richard. The list goes on…

I’ve noticed that McGuinness cunt is now in Coronation Street.

I watched an episode with my Mrs for the first time in ages the other day and I must say it has fallen so far below its 1970s heyday. A ludicrous story where a bunch of morons go camping in a field and meet McGuinnes playing something like a working class Bear Grylls (another cunt). Totally pointless, badly acted and just a way to get Paddy McGuinness time in the show. Utter bollocks…

Bring back Minnie Caldwell and Albert Tatlock.

I’d shag that Carla Connor though….

Nominated by: Norman

33 thoughts on “Corrie”

  1. I agree totally ludicrous plots, Coke fiends, crack addicts, allegations of rape and child abuse….oh wait. Sorry I was mixing up the storylines with their real lives.

  2. You are absolutely right Norman, but add cow shit to the mix and you have the: Archers, substitute cockneys and you have: Eastbenders, and so on. It used to be each to it’s own audience, but now it’s all formulaic and pointless. It could be worse, it could be set in scallyland.

    As a yoof I well remember the exchanges between Elsie Tanner (Playtex bra) and Ena Sharples (curlers and scarf) with the whole street eventually getting involved. Good stuff. The best soap opera today is real life; you just couldn’t write the script.

    • And Caff’s come back to Eastenders despite the fact they killed her orf!

      Don’t tell me – she just stepped out of the shower to find that the last ten years had all been just a dream? Oh no, that was Dallas! Mind you, they all knick each others plot lines, so you never know…

  4. Now Callum has been clobbered and is now part of the concrete floor in the garage (very Trevor Jordache in Brookside)… Must say though that they did the live episode (and Callum’s demise) rather well… Nobody called a character by their real name (like that silly cow who called Ian Beale ‘Adam’ live on air!)… Still bog awful though, and although in the real world it would be classed as self defence/ doing the world a favour, there’s now going to be a tedious Kylie goes down for murdering Callum, then gets out again plot…

    Still, on the bright side: at least Roy Cropper has got a proper woman at last (instead of ladybloke, Hayley!) and Eva Price is back on the street… What a fucking pair that woman has got…

    • Jack Howarth, who played miserable old bugger, Albert Tatlock, was a really funny man in real life… He was a friend of my granddad’s…

  5. “Armageddon Avenue” as I refer to it (having never actually watched it) has a body count that must make that street more hazardous than being a Rabbi wearing an “I hate muslims” T-shirt in downtown Gaza. Has anybody died peacefully in their sleep and of natural causes in this long running 70’s disaster epic? (No, I don’t mean the scriptwriters). The only source of amusement was when my Dad “borrowed” the hand cart used by Stan Ogden to shift a Gas Meter off the set and the crew apparently went frantic looking for it. I understand that some of the cast have been threatened with rehearsals and an actual script if they don’t improve. I did see Albert Tatlock (disguised as Mike Harding) in concert in Kendal. “Born on Wigan Pier!”

  6. Healey hast departed this life. I bespoke me this list of sinners:

    Jerry Lewis
    Gerald Depardieu
    Robert Mugabe
    Jimmy Carter
    Olivier DeHavilland

  7. Typical of ITV to ruin a once good show with actors who are total cunts.
    Peter Kay has been in it, Craig Charles has been in it (when he is not smoking crack in a taxi or wanking over porn)
    The same story-lines repeated ad infinitum, always a murder, always a big fire, always affairs, the women on the street only wear knickers to keep their ankles warm.
    Hey ITV, here’s an idea for a story-line:

    Alan Akbhar & his family move in to the street, they turn out to be terrorists and their son Alan junior orders some bomb making stuff of the Internet, but whilst constructing it he has an accident and it nukes the whole of Manchester – the end!

    Just because Corrie is the longest running soap on TV means shit, it’s fucking shite and makes EastEnders look almost believable in comparison,

    Fuck Bill Roache (Ken Barlow) & Micheal Le Vell (Kevin Webster), pair of kiddy fiddling cunts!

    • Corrie is bad now, but NeverEnders is far worse: with its endless incest, is me sister me mum? stories,teenage pregnancies, shirtlifters, token foreigners, instant relatives, dead people coming back alive and wannabe Krays…

      Apparently the orange glowing shagbag that is Kat Slater is soon to discover that she has a son that she never knew she had (like you wouldn’t fucking remember it!)… Kat’s brood must look like a box of Jelly Babies: all kinds of fucking colours… It’s about time they sealed up her cunt, like a defunct oil rig…

      • And Danny Dyer is in it… Arguably (alongside that cock, Keith Lemon) the biggest cunt currently on television…

      • LOL, perfect summary.
        “Now, ger’out of my pub”
        How many times did enders do the who shot Phil Mitchell storyline? like 3 times.
        And who could forget when Arthur was ploughing Mrs Hewitt up the shitter behind Pauline’s back?
        And of course Dirty Den fucking a 15yr old, Wilmot-Brown raping Kathy in the Dagmar and the gems of Phil Mitchell as a alcoholic and crack head and Nick Cotton on the heroin (based on Russell Brand I’m informed)

      • I remember old Arfur and Madame Hewitt… I bet Arfur cursed his luck that he didn’t give Wendy Richard one when she was working at Grace Brothers in the 70s…

        Back to NeverEnders: they’ve also done (with three different characters/slags) the ‘I wuz raped by ‘orrible uncle Arry/Archie/Ernie’ (that’s the incest shite)…

        A nondescript weasel like Ian Beale has had as many wives as Henry VIII….

        They’ve done the ‘Me sister’s really me mum’ story twice (with Kat the Skank and now that Dyer cunt)…

        The twin tarts, Roxy and Ronnie Mitchell, are a nod to the Krays…

        After numerous rapes, murders, beatings and fires on the premises, the Vic is still doing business… One murder is enough to permanently close a real pub…

        Sharon Watts shagging her foster father’s biological son (and her adopted brother), Dirty Den Junior…

        The list is endless… One thing that made me laugh was that Zoe Slater (daughter of Kat the Skank and her ‘orrible Uncle Arry) looked the way she did… A kid who was the result of such incest would be an inbred, crosseyed, six fingered cunt… They would not look like Michelle Ryan, who was as fit as fuck…

  8. The Corrie plots are redic.

    Next they’ll have the Fonz water skiing down the canal jumping over murdered prostitutes.

    John Humphrys is a cunt.

    The slimy smugness of this poster-codger of the metropolitan elite is revolting. The dirty old cunt, with his omnipresent faux ‘bon ami’ (that eclipses a bus load of lower middle class pedophiles on their way to a camp in the woods to bugger cub-scouts) always force-feeds the sheep the diabolical propaganda of the ‘beast’.

    This very morning, for example – one example among thousands, the cunt was back to attacking and humiliating victims of atrocities to please his paymasters (not just the BBC).

    It was reported (by NATO) an Afghan hospital (run by Medecins Sans Frontieres volunteers) had been bombed (obviously deliberately – a £25 phone has GPS accurate to less than 10 feet) during a US air strike (helicopters at low altitude) and at least 50 people had been killed.

    The dirty little cunt John Humphrys interviewed some of the survivors of the bombing and a random talking head purporting to be a specialist. His entire thrust of questioning was to try to blame ‘terrorists’ instead of the Americans (even though the crime was admitted).

    The filthy fucking cunt John Humphrys even called the Americans forces (who have killed 100,000 civilians and maimed 300,000 in Afghanistan) peacekeepers.

    John Humphrys is a the lowest of cunts. The filthy rat cunt presents the evil propaganda of his paymasters to cover up the most serious crimes against humanity, to stop decent people, taxpayers who are paying for the crimes, protesting against the atrocities, for personal monetary gain.

    John Humphrys will die soon and burn in the deepest sewer in hell. He is a truly evil cunt.

      • Sorry you are wrong, Spivey is currently working on exposing the double decker bus crash in Coventry as a false flag up there with the Gulf of Tonkin incident.

  11. Long story short. Twenty-lotta years back I used to deliver oil to a transport company responsible for scenery shifting at Granada. I *borrowed* the Castrol sign that was out side the Corry garage and my gaffer had it sign written with our company’s logo overnight. Said sign was duly returned, warm but dry, the following morning. By but it did piss off the competition. And where was the continuity girl?

    http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/resources/images/3608708/

  12. Now that Dioclese is back from skiving may I prevail upon him knock up a spot orf Corrie porn – Ena Sharples crotch shot ect ect. Make an old man very happy.

  13. My granny watched the show religiously , can you imagine a 82 year old woman screaming at the telly in hopes that certain girls on show brake their neck or fall over?. She also swore like a salior while watching it also eastenders . Have I told you that my gran kinda looked like a female version of jimmy saville scary shite gives me nightmares. She was also a real cunt and stubborn as a mule also a real cheapskate and penny pincher.

  14. Phil fucking Mitchell the only man alive to go from a serious crack and heroin habit to totally fucking clean and sober in three episodes. A fucking miracle I tell ya.

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