Nespresso

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Don’t get me wrong, I like decent coffee. None of the cardboard cup Starfuck’s shit for me! But FFS will somebody please shoot the pretentious little shit that Nespresso have writing their sales and marketing blurb?

Here’s an example of their latest shite that hit my mat in this morning’s post : “The new Fortissio Lungo Grand Cru is a symphony of length and intensity” Grand Cru? It’s fucking coffee FFS!

It goes on : “The coffee beans are exposed to monsoon winds after harvest to recreate the conditions of the long sea journey to Europe in the age of sailing ships.” Translation? They’re left lying around for a while before they’re processed.

Whoever this cunt is, he should be right at home with George Clooney who’s another pretentious cunt.

Check this out : An aspirational lifestyle

There. Got it off me chest. Time for a coffee…

Nominated by: Dioclese

7 thoughts on “Nespresso”

  1. Yes indeed, and why is it always almost stone cunting cold when they give it to you?

  2. Interestingly they sent me some more gobshite only this morning. Must peruse same over a cup of coffee…

    Always good for a chortle

  3. Should’ve just cunted George ‘Cunt’ Clooney. Another fine example of a limp wristed, liberal, Hollywood fuckwit, who thinks he has a God given right to tell others what to do. His only saving Grace, is that he isn’t Sean Penn.

    Harriet Harman is another arsehole due a right Royal cunting. The source of her irritation today is the theatre and opera. Apparently, they are ‘too white, middle class and metropolitan’. Which translates as ‘not enough proles and mynoritees are experiencing these forms of cultured entertainment. And, being a patronising, hypocritical, liberal shitehawk, I’m incredibly guilty and offended’.

    The fact that anyone can either go to the box office, or go online an purchase a ticket is, seemingly, irrelevant. OK, the tickets are probably pretty expensive, but I would argue that absence of mynoritees and proles from theatre, ballet and opera productions, would indicate that most such people considered it to be pretentious shite.

    And why is it only recently that she’s become bothered by these publicly funded groups not attracting a more diverse audience? This was going on when her mob of retards was in government. She didn’t give a fuck then. In fact back then, she probably sat in her taxpayer funded seat at the opera and thought, ‘thank fuck the peasants aren’t interested in seeing a fat cow with steel tits and pig tails singing about how she’s a beautiful 19 year old girl’.

    With all the problems this country is currently facing, most of which she and the previous government are responsible for, she has to get worked up about ‘ordinary people’ not giving a fuck about ‘the arts’. Time to fucking quit love. Get me some cheese on toast.

  5. This is a pre-emptive re-cunting of Stephen Fry as I’m sure it’s only a matter of minutes before he posts something about Rik Mayall’s death on Twitter.

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