Santa Claus

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evil-santa

Santa Claus is a cunt and I can prove it.

(1) I asked for a bike and a iPad. He sent me a fucking cowboy outfit and some lego.
(2) He gives all the most expensive presents to the wealthy households.
(3) He exploits elfs. The poor fuckers don’t even get the minimum wage.
(4) Last year I caught him sneaking into Daddy’s room and shagging Mummy.
(5) I don’t like what he got up to when he sat my kid sister on his lap.

And Santa is an anagram of Satan so that proves he’s an evil cunt.

Nominated by: MiniDioclese

Every year I write to Santa, asking him to bring Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu to my house to take turns to sit on my face, and every year the bearded fat fucker ignores me. I’m starting to think the useless cunt doesn’t exist.

I want Santa cunted and I wanted Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen and the rest of the freaky flying reindeer turned into burgers.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

3 thoughts on “Santa Claus”

  1. He is a fat cunt, matched only by all the other cunts who dress up in Santa costumes at this time of year and lurk in department stores, a veritable kiddie-fiddler fest. I’ll bet none of them are PDI checked.
    As for his reindeer, as soon as the Bulgarian and Rom hordes get over here, you’ll be seeing them sold off the back of a lorry as prime beef. Could not give a shit about the elves, they remind me of that cunt Bjork

  2. When I was a little kid I had diarrhoea at Christmas and my mam (trying not to be a cunt during the festive season) paid for me to visit a father Christmas in a department store.

    I was terrified of the strange-smelling old Father Christmas cunt (a smell I now know to be stale beer and cheap cigs) and shat all over the cunt as he bear-hugged be onto his knee – while he was slurring some ho ho ho shite…..

    In those day little kids wore short pants, and the shit went all over the drunken cunt’s lap as it oozed out of the legs of my pants.

    The Father Christmas cunt threw me on the floor and called me a dirty bastard.

    There was a fuss with my mam and the manager, and I got a free train set out of it (a decent one – not the lame plastic shit from the cuntting Father Christmas grotto) – this was before the compensation culture.

    so yes – Father Christmas and all the doubles (thieving charity fucks, drunken department store cunts, and fancy dress wankers) are all cunts.

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