In fact, Paul Morley is that most dangerous of cunts: he is Stuart Maconie with a brain. A soundbite for every occasion, but an insight into none.
This incorrigibly supercilious cunt treats pop culture as an enigma that only he can fully unravel, only he can grasp the intricacies and subtleties and oh, how we should be grateful that he has deigned to explain the esoteric mysteries to we intellectual pygmies.
This self-important, self-admiring cunt needs dragging off the street and pushing into the back of a van. Drive the cunt out into the middle of the Fens and douse the fucker in petrol. Then insist that the tosser draws a parallel between German Expressionism and The Smiths while you idly play with matches. Not so smug now, I’ll bet.
Nominated by: Fred West
Paul Morley is a self-important cunt who knows fuck all about music
Nominated by: ChasCMusic
Can’t say I’ve heard of this cunt, but I like your style. Especially like the burning part. Could we put him in a wicker contraption, then burn him?
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Just tried to read this cunt’s biography of Bowie. Complete twaddle all about Paul Morley. You supply the wicker and I’ll deliver the cunt. (helping with enquiries)
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I’m not very knowledgeable about who is and who isn’t a cunt in the Olde Country but I just know this guy is a cunt. I can tell by his Pinocchio nose and the size of his double chin. His cuntitude is deep within his festering cunting bowels. They are festering because they are full of syphilis. He would be best done with a petrol enema followed by one of those gas stove lighters shoved up his cunting arse. He’d explode from the inside out an he’d be cured of his syphilis at least.
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How about Vince Cable? For over three and a half years now, Cable has filled the business secretary role in HM’s government. And the sad old fucker has done nothing but whinge since day one. It wouldn’t be so bad if the coalition had been forced upon him, but the cunt actually helped to form the coalition. He led the Limp Dicks side of the negotiations. He’s as much to blame as any of them. In fact, considering most Conservatories and Limp Dicks WEREN’T in the discussions, Cable is actually MORE to blame.
In the early days, he seemed to delight in talking about using his ‘nuclear option’. He stopped that though. I think someone reminded the senile old twat that the Limp Dicks are actually against nuclear. Now he’s off again, saying that the coalition will collapse before 2015. Not by Cable’s hand it won’t. He’s far more important in his own mind than he is in reality. From what I’ve heard, even a large number of his allies in the LD’s are telling him to shut the fuck up this week. And the week isn’t even over.
Cable is still to trying to dine off his one real moment political brilliance, the Mr Bean gag. And allegedly, he even stole that from someone else. Back then, he seemed to be a decent MP. Turns out he’s just another opportunistic, publicly funded, cunt. If he had any sense of morality or ethics, he would quit the frontbench for the backbench. At least then he would be able to snipe with a clear line of fire. Whilst he’s drawing a ministerial salary, he should shut the fuck up and tow the line. Of course, he won’t quit. I guess that £100+ K a year is too useful to him right now. Hypocritical cunt.
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Shane Warne.
Once a pasty, pie eating, 3 pack a day annoying cunt that was a bowler. Now a fake tanned, botoxed, rug headed wanna be celebrity.What the fuck is that cunt? Certainly a contender for the Cunts hall of Fame.
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May I respectfully suggest to the webmaster that a new category of Cunt should be created for those particularly vile cunts whose cuntitude is so vast, so boundless and so immediately apparent to all that it requires no further elaboration or explanation beyond simply publishing their names. In the same way that graduates are entitled to put BSc or PhD after their names to denote academic status, we could elevate cunts from the archive who would hereafter be known simply by the abbreviation “Ct.” after their name to show what massive and irredeemable cunts they truly are.
For example:
Piers Morgan, Ct.
Iain Duncan Smith, Ct.
Aled Jones, Ct.
Elton John, Ct.
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Nice, I like that. Piers has a first class Ct(hons). Or should that be Ct(dishons)?
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I’ll give it some thought, perhaps BCt (Batchelor of Cuntitude) for 5 nominations and MCt (Master of Cuntitude) for 10? Maybe even a super category of Phd(Ct) for 20?
Would make an excellent roll of honour. Perhaps we could send them a certificate of some sort – like a graduation.
OTOH, maybe I’m just getting carried away?…
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…except Aled Jones and Elton are fat gay cunts to boot.
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Many, many thanks for your wonderful description of Paul Morley. On Christmas night I wasd struggling to convey to members of my family 1) who Paul Morley is, and 2) the nature of my problem with him.( not helped by the fact that I couldn’t recall his name.)When I did remember it, a family member helpfully found your contribution, and I was able to rest my case. The most satisfying moment of Christmas day.
Thanks again.
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Agreed. What an excellent piece of cunting by the original poster. I would score Morley 7/10 on the cuntometer. Stuart Maconie without a brain… yeah… what a cunt. Perhaps 8/10.
How about John Bishop? What an unfunny android looking (remember Steve Penk… a fellow member of the unfunny android club) professional scouser cunt of a cunt with bells on for Christmas. I’ve watched this cunt hammered and still he’s not even raised a single laugh. Christ the bloody chuckle brothers are funnier than this cunt. Bowel cancer is funnier than this cunt. This is a bishop that deserves to be bashed repeatedly round the head until some humour is knocked into him.
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Consider it done. Frankly I am amazed he’s never been cunted before.
I find his ‘humour’ completely banal…or should that be anal….or both?
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Morley is also a hypocritical cunt. I remember him slagging off Duran Duran: and their ‘Girls On Film’ video… Morley said Duran ‘should be shot: for getting young boys into that (I was a 13 year old schoolboy at the time, and I loved the video and ‘that!’)’. Now the reason Morley coming over all Mary Whitehouse was so vomit inducing is because he was one of the prime movers behind Frankie’s ‘Relax’ and its infamous video (which was far worse than the DD one)…
I also hate his lickarse attitude to Factory Records, and everything that came out of it. The two greatest Manchester bands ever (The Smiths and The Stone Roses) were cock all to do with the glorious Factory Empire….
Agree about John Bishop too… He’s about as funny as the clap, and he looks like a perma-grin Stepford Wife type version of Bez!
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He’s a penis.
Typical ‘look at me’ opinion on everything.
He has zero taste, either that or he deliberately disparages anything good just to be noticed.
If this clown says something is great it’ll be awful. If you were to ask his opinion on something that has great popular success he’ll tell you it’s worthless. Talentless frauds like him have no right to an opinion on what is good or bad.
He talks total bollocks.
“Oo-oo, look at me! Look at me!”, is basically all he’s ever saying.
C U N T !
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After watching Morley crop up on yet another couple of music documentaries in the last week, I just had to check online to see if anyone felt the same way as me. I am delighted to see that indeed, other people think he is a pompous twat – a left wing liberal who thinks only he is right and continually shows contempt for anything unless it ticks his politically correct boxes.
His taste in music is awful, he managed the vile Frankie Goes to Hollywood and farted up a pile of crap songs while with the Art of Noise, yet he continually gets invited onto BBC programs to spout more shite about music. AND, he writes for the Guardian, the biggest pile of biased pc crap imaginable.
Why do BBC keep on employing arseholes like him? Because the entire BBC are a bunch of liberal leaning, gay porn addicted tossers who forcefully spew out their own twisted liberal propaganda while being funded by the money they happily steal from the people they are constantly trying to pervert into their way of thinking.
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Many of the above thoughts on Mr Morley are spot on.
This cunt turned a recent documentary on Kraftwerk into a total farce. It should had been titled “Kraftwerk by Paul Morley” since every other soundbite and talking head was more meaningless drivel by HIM… he had as much screen time as the band and to have the audacity to state that “Kraftwerk are more influential than The Beatles ever were” takes the gall of a grade one cunt.
Last Christmas I was given some books as presents. I unwrapped one to be greeted by the title THE NORTH. I smiled since I’m a Northerner born, bred and proud and then when I saw it was written by Morley, my heart sank. It will be making it’s way to a chazza shop very soon in mint condition.
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I am a Mancunian born and bred and I also despise Morley… Every thing this cunt appears on he has to namedrop Bowie, Roxy Music and The Velvet Underground.. It’s either ‘Suchabody isn’t as cool as Bowie/Roxy/Velvets.’ or it’s ‘Suchabody is right up there with Bowie/Roxy Music etc…’ I don’t mind (some) Bowie, but anyone who sees Roxy Music and The Velvet fucking Underground as a musical yardstick is a king sized cunt…
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Morley is more akin to a fucking amoeba!
Listen to the fuckwit rabble on about shite on this kraftwerk doc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3FDi_dvybI
Whata CUNT!
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best thing i know of was in 1977 or 8 when ed banger of the nosebleeds gave him kicking about in rafters club for giving their single “I ain’t been to music school” a crap review, well deserved.
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