40 thoughts on “Tesco”

  1. What pisses me off about them is the way all the twats they rope in to do their adverts (Horrocks, Clunes, French) always speak in higher voices than they normally would, as if to convey enthusiasm for this pile of shite – in fact I always imagine Clunes with his bollocks in a vice. Cunts.

  4. Youtube are a bunch of cunts. I spent 3 months building up a list of favorite sites featuring hundreds of full length documentaries, everything from that trashy old faker Attenborough to classics like “Did Aliens Steal The Ark Of The Convenant” to come back after the Season Of Goodwill to find half of them gone to this shit

    Copyright bollox

    Youtube?

    YouCunts more likely.

  5. Timpson’s the shoe repair cunts are cunts. They couldn’t repair fuck all the useless, overcharging, retarded, glue-sniffing cunts.

    Wankers.

    Nominated by Timpson R. Cuntz

  6. I Can’t believe nobody has suggested Diane ‘Hypocrite’ cunt Abbott as a cunt of the day. “Vote for me if you hate those nasty whiteys”. She’d have been better off just tweeting “dirty white cunts” and said what she meant.

    However, I am not saying she’s a cunt, and if you think that I am, then you must be obtuse and reading this out of cuntext!

    From Attila the Cun(t) AKA George Galloway

  7. des o´connor what a cunt my eyes and ears are bleeding from that entertainer
    whenever they say entertainer vomit and bile froths forth vile cunt
    a shit (lost for words)CUNT
    and the other down graded pricks but at the time cunts of magnitude simon bates and dave lee travis WHAT CUNTS (oooh radio caroline cool)FUCK OFF and the tony blackburn show what a cunt
    (wait a munite i´m gipping)
    BRICKBAT

  8. if anything disgusted me as a kid it was dave lee travis (the hairy cornflake gip snookerdookerums)i ´ve shit a kidney what a cunt
    BRICKBAT

  9. T Mobile are cunts. Their phones are useless, their staff are fuckwits, their advertising is cuntingly misleading and their website is bollocks. Bunch of fucking cunts.

    Nominated by Mister FuckFones

  10. Paddy “Hair Transplant” McGuinness is an unfunny fuckwitted Cunt of the first order.
    Fair play , the fucker has done very well for a talentless sad cunt; having made an entire career out of being Peter Kay’s arse licker.

  11. Jules Hudson, presenter of Escape to the Cuntry and Cuntryside is a proper smary fucking Cunt.

    With his fake smile and shiny red nose he could really do with a good twatting, fuck knows how the sad mongs on his shows dont lamp the bastard.

    What a Cunt.

  12. Chris Packham is a smug bastard with a irritating lisp who thinks he knows it all, shame he does not know he is a right Cunt.

    The Fucker even had the audacity to get Bill Oddie the boot thus renaming the show Cuntwatch. How about sorting out your flouncy fucking hair cut you sad cunting Tosser.

  13. I wish to nominate Countryfile (or is it Cuntriphile) as a boring, unnecessary programme about fields, tractors, beetroot, ducks, woods, farms, green-wellied conservation, sheep, more fields and general boring shit involving being out in wellies in the mud in grey, dismal, cold fields talking about cowsheds, hawks, combine harvesters, badgers, landrovers, plums, owls etc – as if Sundays weren’t boring enough. Makes you want to commit cuntricide. This does not include John Craven though, he’s just too boring a cunt to cunt.

  14. Harry Redknapp is a rubber faced, dodgy as fuck, geriatric bedwetting type of Cunt.

    Lets hope you go down for Tax Evasion you tight fisted old bastard as you will get a good few “Bungs” up the shitpipe once you get locked up.
    See if you can sign your shit fucking son Jamie to play for HMP Pentonville X1 when you get there, after all you have signed him for most of your teams even when he has been a useless fucking cripple.

  15. From HurlingDervish.

    Carol McGiffin. Do I need to say anymore. Just Carol McGiffin.
    The thesaurus says…
    “DOG UGLY MUNTER WITH FACIAL FEATURES LIKE A BULLDOGS ARSE HOLE.
    WEEPING JAPS EYE.
    A BROWN SMEAR OF A CUNT THAT SHOULD BE WIPED OFF ONE’S SHOE. FUCKING LICE RIDDEN.
    TALENTLESS LEATHER FACED OLD BITCH.
    AN URGE TO PUNCH A RANCID OLD MOUTHY GOBSHITE OVERPAID LUNCHTIME TV CUNT.
    SUE POLLARDS RIGHT SIDE PISS FLAP.
    WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ODOUR? – CAROL MCGIFFIN (SIC)
    A TOTALLY ANCIENT AND JUSTIFIED NEW YEARS CUNT.”

    Does that cover it?

  16. Anthony Worrall Thompson is a short arse, stroppy, shoplifting celebrity chef of a cunt. Getting his vicarious kicks from licking cheese and wine at the self service checkout by not scanning it and walking out without paying when he can easily afford it. At least the cunt had the good grace to theive from Tesco who are the biggest rip off merchant cunts going. Apart from Waitrose!

  18. To be fair Razor AWT looks the type of sad deranged cunt who would lick cheese and put it back for an unsuspecting punter to get his diseased saliva along with a pound of Cheddar!!
    The Fat beardy Lightfingered Cunt.

  20. If only there was a way to cunt pineapple dance cunt Andrew Stone without giving the sad cunt the attention he so desperately craves. His USP seems to be not being gay whilst appearing to be as gay as a spotty hankie. Look, Stone, nobody cares if you’re gay or not – it’s your twattitude that’s so stomach churning. Cunt.

    • Well said stfhp!! Having watched him attempt to suck his own cock on that awful 5 bb after show shite I have lost all faith in humanity?…bunch of cunts!!

  21. Alex Fucking Salmond, is a little Fat obnoxious cocksucking smug Bastard type of Cunt.
    A jumped up short arsed pie eating fucker who has the audacity to dictate to the rest of the United Kingdom. Fuck right off you useless Nationalistic fake smily faced prick and take all your dole scrounging fried Mars Bar eating jocktastic fuckwitts with you.
    Bunch of smelly unwashed thick as fuck animal shagging SNP Cunts.

  22. love it OLLIE !!! Almost spat my mouthful of coffee out with laughter. I detest that fat prick Salmond, lets hope the mandateless cunt gets put in his place by the combined might of all three main parties at the mighty westminster. Lets hope MI6 pay him a visit tonight while he is deep frying his mars bar for tea!

  23. Fat Prick said…

    Fearne Cotton…

    Where to be begin with this arrogant, self-centered, immature, peodaphilic, war-profiteering cunt. She is all over the fucking radio, the fucking tv, fucking youtube not to mention Holly Willoughby’s (probably) over-sized labia (now theres a thought). What does this ill-informed cunt know about music? She is a coldplay loving, Jay-Z loving, Keisha loving, Tiny fucking tempa or whatever loving (he’s another cunt) CUNT.

  24. To be fair old concorde features herself doesn’t actually have much choice in what she plays as it is dictated by the multi-cultural obsessed powers that be. What’s the fucking point of 1 Extra? Radio 1 plays the same relentless drivel as its sister station. Yes the skinny cunt is in the media too much and she needs a fucking good meal! Would be like shagging John Merricks remains. Which was a weekend i’m trying to to purge from my memory…

  25. That cockney nonentity Joe Swash could do with a right good cunting – on the grounds of being an irritating little shit, all over the place like dog muck, and having the high pitched whine of a no-ball.

  26. Binyam Mohamed, another fucking useless,workshy, benefit scrounging, Muslim Shitpot Cunt sueing the UK with Legal Aid (Of course)because he was arrested and kicked to fuck by the Pakistan authorities.

    Thats what happens when you fuck off to Afghanistan and fight for the Taleban you rag headed bastard. Meanwhile he sells his story, scores our tax payers money whilst sitting on his fucking arse and waits for the payout. Shame he was offed in Guantanamo Bay by the Yanks. Send the Bastard back to Afghanistan. The Fucking Cunt.

  27. I’d like to nominate child murdering cunt Kimberley Hainey.This septic haemorroid on the sphincter of humanity partook in Jockland’s favourite pastimes of recreational heroin use and living in squalor. After killing her son through neglect she left the poor cunt’s corpse to mummify for 8 months. 15 years fucking years for this atrocity? I’d prefer 6 feet of twisted natural fibre tied in a noose round her fucking fat cunt neck! Total Scunt..

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