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LET’S GET CUNTING!
Meghan, Harry and the BBC
Further proof, not that it’s needed, that our once admired national broadcaster is turning itself into a laughable parody of a news outlet:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-68995686
The Countess Montecito has decided she’s Nigerian and so deigned to bestow upon that great country her charm, grace and majesty (for 3 whole days) with her poodle ‘Ginge’. Hence the BBC report that Ginge played a ball game with some other doggies while his mistress looked on approvingly. Apparently this is what constitutes ‘News’ in Savile House.
One would have thought a few photo ops with some black faces could be arranged just as easily by spending half an hour in Brixton. Instead of the little girl giving flowers we could have Diane Abbott presenting the Countess with a bucket of chiggun.
Innit.
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Sue Parfitt and Judith Bruce
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-68995662
Retired vicar Rev Sue Parfitt (82) and retired biology teacher Judith Bruce (85) are a pair of demented, coffin dodging old cunts.
This Hinge & Bracket tribute act took it upon themselves to save planet Earth by attacking and gluing themselves to Magna Carta’s protective glass case in the British Library. Why target Magna Carta? Is it because it fails to mention the Climate Catastrophe? Or is someone else is pulling these two muppets’ strings, as witnessed by their brainwashed, vacant stares to camera?
Here’s what gets my goat though. Having enjoyed a lifetime of warmth and comfort from plentiful, cheap energy and the many bi-products of the oil industry, these two loons would now deny the same benefits to future generations. The kindly old dears who just want to save mankind from its own stupidity act doesn’t fool me. They’re a couple of nasty, selfish, nihilistic old bitches who, if they got their way, would condemn their grandchildren to a grim Stone Age existence of poverty, cold and hunger.
Fuck off and suck a Werther’s Original you Fascist cunts.
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Olly Alexander
When he was chosen to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest, young Olly promised (perhaps that should be threatened) to do so ‘ in the gayest way possible’.
Having seen his performance, I have to say that he did his very best; prancing around with a group of half naked young men who spent their time grinding and rubbing up against each other, on a set aptly resembling a seedy public toilet. Add to the fact that it was a shit song to start with, and you’ve got a perfect recipe for failure.
Presenter Nana Akua dubbed the performance ‘lewd and embarrassing’, which pretty much sums it up as far as I’m concerned. The public seemed to agree, awarding this career-wrecking performance a total of… how many votes? Go on, have a guess…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0_FdJqyQW0
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The Beatles are still cunts.
The Grab Fabs are at it again, selling their ‘Let It Be’ film to Disney+.
Now, the film itself is surely for diehard fans only. As it’s very boring, and it’s also now been eclipsed by Peter Jackson’s ‘Get Back’ project.
Anyone else would put the Let It Be film out on DVD, so Beatles fans could buy it if they wanted. But that old fool Macca still thinks the Beatles are top of the tree and that they should ‘compete’ with the likes of Taylor Swift. They split up in 1970 and two of them are long dead for fuck’s sake.
Gen – Z knobends and the like aren’t really initerested in th Beatles, if they are interested at all. But Apple – on McCartney’s orders – still peddle the Beatles ‘brand’ and want them to be down with the kids. The ridiculous marketing and rehashing of their Red and Blue albums (with that awful ‘last’ single) last year showed that. It’s absolutely absurd.
Let It Be is like the Stones films One Plus One and Gimme Shelter (except Gimme Shelter is a better film). Antique curios for longstanding fans. And the Beatles trying to gain new and younger fans with such a dull and dragging pile of crap like Let It Be is quite pathetic and very greedy. They’re not skint by any stretch of the imagination. so wasn’t the ‘Get Back’ cash-in enough? Of course it wasn’t and it won’t be for that lot.
I dare say the barrel will be well and truly scraped. As Apple/Disney will probably release some home movie footage of George Harrison eating his egg and chips, or John Lennon watching the Magic Roundabout. And an album of them farting after a night on the beer and curry in Hamburg will be released on ten different versions of colured vinyl. Once, the Beatles legacy was respectfully and classily supervised by Neil Aspinall (RIP). But since Apple sold its arse and its soul to UMG and Disney, the Beatles will now flog absolutley anything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQU-TRSULQs
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The Suck-Teeth Gesture.
Suck-Teeth is “the gesture of drawing air through the teeth and into the mouth to produce a loud sucking sound” which is used to express ” disgust, defiance, disapproval, disappointment, frustration and impatience”.
Its also a black thing. An ‘Africanism’, like a Nigerian lottery scam or selling your firstborn for some magic beans. Like other aspects of cultural enrichment it has grown in prominence in Europe and the U.S so much so that in France it is banned in public schools as a vulgar gesture.
That’s anti-blackness according to the uppity bint in the link. No, these are “essential ‘isms’ and they’re beautiful reminders of the expressive, creative , innovative people we’ve always been”. Really, it says all that? I thought it was just another manifestation of their chip on the shoulder attitude. You can imagine the Labour benches with Lammy, Butler and Flabbott in full flow as they show their disdain for the Tory Oxbridge gammons.
Maybe they have a gesture for gratitude but I somehow doubt it.
Anyway, in the name of integration, what is wrong with the Two Finger Salute? The French certainly got our message of disgust, defiance and disapproval of them during the Hundred Year War and beyond.
YouTube
10
‘Mr Speedos’ Does Palma
It’s always good to see a display of informal yet elegant fashion, so I was highly impressed to see a new standard being set recently in the streets of Majorca’s fine capital city.
Step forward the ripped figure of the man I’ve dubbed ‘Mr Speedos’, recently caught strolling urbanely through Palma’s shopping area clad in, er, a pair of bright green budgie smugglers. Now you might think that the gentleman in question would have augmented this outfit with a trendy pair flip-flops, but no, nothing so mundane or boring for this cutting-edge fashionista. Instead, he’s outrageously gone for contrast and shock value, chosing a pair of short shocks and trainers.
It will not surprise cunters to learn that a race is now on to identify this style icon, with a number of international fashion houses and modelling agencies desperate to sign him up.
Step forward ‘Mr Speedos’; a dazzling future in the world of haute couture awaits.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/travel/arrest-tourist-cry-locals-after-32806791
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People complaining about Magaluf price hikes.
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/uk-tourists-say-we-wont-29120461?int_source=nba
In summary: businesses on the island raise drink prices to stop low class chavs and boorish ‘lads’ from getting wasted and causing trouble. Said chavs and ‘lads’ kick off and claim their right to a cheap holiday is being infringed. Some of them are even ‘Magaluf regulars’ – as if going to a place like that once wasn’t already sad enough.
At the risk of sounding like one of those insufferable travel bores, fuck off, stop moaning and go on a REAL holiday you fucking cunts – perhaps one that explores what Spain is ACTUALLY like beyond the cookie cutter resorts and party islands? If your sole criteria for a holiday is the ability to get drunk on the cheap, then you probably shouldn’t be allowed to go on holiday in the first place.
3
Not-a-cunting for Jonathan Yeo’s portrait of King Charles.
Maybe a controversial one this, but after thinking about it, I can see what Yeo is doing.
The King is clearly being consumed by the Blob, red in colour. This could be his cancer, or perhaps it’s the ‘Blob’ of big government and the lefty establishment – civil servants, Church of England, Police and BBC, and an incoming Labour government.
It’s a cry for help.
Banksy’s effort would’ve been completely obvious and as subtle as a brick (as is everything he does), probably a stencil of KC on the bog or kissing his oncologist while a street urchin bleeds out.
Good job, Mr Yeo. Don’t let the philistines grind you down.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/official-portrait-king-charles-coronation-jonathan-yeo-b1157738.html
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JAMES ANDERSON – “BRITAIN’S KINDEST PLUMBER”
A well deserved cunting for a man who puts even Kweer Charmer to shame for exploiting vulnerable people – especially “the poor”
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3gxg4jd0ggo
This do-gooder, has, it seems, been posting a photo of a deceased old lady on multiple occasions (no doubt using different names) to promote his philanthropy.
One old dear was going to hang herself because she had no hot water – he dashed round there in his car to find the old dear had the noose up already – this is very much entering the “dad was a toolmaker” territory. Kweer would be proud of him.
It seems the man is a self-advertising, narcissistic liar – I suggest finding him a safe seat, Up North, because when he or his clients tire of him unclogging their lavatories, he will need another scam to go into.
On the other hand, I wonder if Wes Streeting has ever considered taking a course in plumbing?
5
MENTAL HEALTH (ISSUES)
Apparently this week (13-19th May) was Mental Health Awareness Week.
Well I never? I thought that was last week. Or the week before that. Or any other random week, for that matter.
It seems like every fucking minute of every fucking day you hear someone, somewhere banging on and on (usually the MSM) about mental health (issues).
Can any of you cunters remember when `mental health issues` weren’t actually `issues`? Me neither. It used to be that someone may have a been a bit `off` or occasionally, someone had a `nervous breakdown`. Or more rarely, some nutjob somewhere (usually the US) had a brain-gasm and indiscriminately shot multiple people with a semi-automatic then finally himself. In all cases, with the right drug treatments & ECT for the mentals or in the latter case, self-treatment, all was once again hunky dory.
They were all just a bit `mad`. Yes, we`ve always been mental. Hitler, for instance – he was a bit mental wasn`t he? And that Putin, he`s a bit mad isn`t he? And one day I`m sure he`ll get it out of his system.
Rather nostalgically, It used to go something like this (lines from Nöel Coward`s Brief Encounter) …
Fred Jesson: “You’ve been a long way away.”
Laura Jesson: “Yes.”
Fred Jesson: “Thank you for coming back to me.” *
But for now we can all blame it on `mental health (issues)`.
If you want to read the fucking obvious drivel about this, here’s a link (but I wouldn’t bother if I were you – I didn’t – plus you`ll never get the time back.) …
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders
* Optional follow-up line line: “Now get me fucking tea on, woman – I`m fucking famished Bitch.”
3
How could you think Cyril Raymond would have used words like that to the fragrant Celia?. More likely that Trevor Howard would have said that. If it had been Warren Mitchell he would probably have said “Silly Moo”. Must go – I am having lunch with Dolly Messiter, sweet, well-meaning, irritating Dolly Messiter.
Thanks SB for that trip down Memory Lane. The Song Is Ended — but the melody lingers on.
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ADMINS – Re the above nom, could you append this to the start? …
“””I know it`s been cunted before, dear cunters, but it`s a cunt that just keeps on giving.”””
Ithankyow.
1
Curating Bollocks
A lot of it abaht these Fortean Times. So what is it abaht my friends this Curating lark? A definition might help. What is a Curator? One who selects, organises and presents Bollocks. What is Bollocks? That that becomes worthy of ridicule by virtue of being Curated. Falls spectacularly into the realm of the overpaid “non-job” (Arts Division).
With this sort of Guardianesque malarky it is best to let it speak for itself. Pick out for yourself from the following word confetti those words or phrases best suited to further your non-career.
From Screen South: “Celebrating Curating for Change and the launch of Curating Visibility
Screen South’s Curating for Change programme, delivered via the pioneering Accentuate project, came to a celebrated end with a fantastic evening at Imperial War Museum London on May 2nd.
Over the past three years, Curating for Change has supported eight Fellows and eight Trainees identifying as D/deaf, disabled, or neurodivergent in placements across twenty partner museums. The success of the programme lent itself to the launch of a brand-new & groundbreaking project: Curating Visibility.
This disabled-led initiative places D/deaf, disabled, and neurodivergent people at the heart of researching and interpreting museum collections and explores new digital methods to challenge ableist perceptions and engage new audiences. Fashioning Bodies in the Ancient World
10 November 2023 – 13 May 2024
@ Ashmolean Museum, Oxford
In this display, Kyle Lewis Jordan – a disabled Egyptologist who specialises in the study of disability in antiquity – looks at objects from the Ashmolean’s Antiquities collections, exploring what they can tell us about disability in the ancient past.” Come to think of it Kyle the disabled Egyptologist might be on to something. Old King Tut was a pretty weird looking geezer. The Holy Grail of the Gender Diverse, both male and female in the same body. How’s that for Non Binary or the product of too much buggery and incest to you and me.
If you want to go the whole hog (no porcine shaggery or ableist perception intended) have a punt at this, your gateway to a career as a Curatorial Fellow or an Assistant Curatorial Fellow:
https://curatingforchange.org/events/
Appended to follow – header photo
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The Header Photo for the post (original)
https://freeimage.host/i/screen-south.JPfzt5b
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