Use the Comment section below to write up your cunting nomination.
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NOW LET’S GET CUNTING!
“Farmer” David Beckham:
I suppose it had to happen. The ex footballer, turned knicker model, turned international playboy with a taste for underweight tarts, and self-titled father of the year – any year, has now, with far too much time and money on his hands, decided to become a farmer. Or at least he likes to grow broad beans in his weekend home back garden and pose in tweeds and shepherds crook. This has impressed the formerly tasteful magazine Country Life to employ him (for one week only) as “guest editor”. Apparently it has taken them the best part of a year to bring out the issue – no wonder, I daresay Dave is yet to master using all the crayons in his kit.
The tosh they have written about them is as sickening as his posing. The author of the deathless pose clearly fancies him. He or she gushes as Dave bends down to puck some berans and offer them to the assembled crew.
In reality this over-tattooed elderly poser probably has staff that run his “farm” or market garden (at best) -more likely a couple of rows of beans behind the dahlias and lobelia.
No wonder his eldest son wants nothing to do with him – probably the result of years of having to indulge his various delusions – not least that he is a good father – that has sickened and embarrassed the lad, like this latest improbable stunt. He says the countryside matters to him – publicity matters to the old hasbeen even more.
https://www.countrylife.co.uk/nature/it-makes-me-feel-as-if-ive-done-a-good-job-as-a-father-and-that-i-did-the-right-thing-in-wanting-us-to-have-a-house-here-david-beckham-on-why-the-countryside-matters-so-much-to-him-and-his-family
4
Being “considered unlawfully at large” is a High Court Cunt..
A wôg is on the run after absconding from.. an open prison despite a conviction in 2014 for attempted murder which attracted a 25 year sentence.
Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief however as the Prison Governor has “revoked his licence to leave the prison and he no longer has any authority or lawful licence to be in the community and is therefore considered unlawfully at large”..
That’s fine then,you hapless cunts.
2
Dear me,apologies..
Here’s the link..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c397v4e0zv2o
2
Rita Nunn is a 22ct, gold-plated cunt.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15203173/Pictured-Property-manager-sued-bosses-discrimination-didnt-send-congratulatory-WhatsApp-message-one-year-anniversary-firm.html
She joined the company in August 2022.
At that time it was company policy on an internal group chat to to congratulate people on their first year anniversary of working for the company.
However, after a complaint from another member of staff about the volume of messages, celebratory messages were restricted to birthdays and long service notices.
This star employee started in August 2022, declared her pregnancy in June 2023, and resigned in September 2024 at the end of her 10 months paid maternity leave.
Assuming she didn’t go on sick leave, and I’ll bet any money she did, by my estimation, she actually worked until November 2023, so a total of 15 months.
She took her former employer to an employment tribunal, who laughed her out of court.
3
Admin, sorry, I left a bit out.
” Rita then decided that she had been discriminated against, on account of her age, pregnancy and , most importantly , that she didn’t get a one year anniversary message ”
Please can you insert this just before the final paragraph? My apologies.
1
School reunions.
Now they are a bit cunty, I went to one years ago for my “Normal school”.
Well I had been invited back to my other school for an event, I had to sign into reception and was issued a lanyard and chaperone (just in case I was a kiddy fiddler) and dragged off to meet other old boys (It used to be a Boys school, but now mixed…very mixed).
The kids had just done a route march of 4 miles, and we were there to meet them.
Our chaperones, sort of dabbled in conversation, but were probably secretly worried at the turn of conversation, The “old boys” are predominantly ex forces and of a certain mind set, that frankly does not fit with the new order as we viewed a number of the students not as potential colleagues but as security threats.
We regaled the chaperones with story’s of collective and capital punishment and borderline psychopath’s who had escaped detention in secure hospitals by volunteering as teachers at the school.
They did not seem to like this, they also made a point of explaining that “Shouting” and “Physical violence” was not permitted, they have probably banned coercive treatment like torture too, just we did that too each other with no staff involvement.
On the whole it was very disappointing, as one bloke said, he felt that his world hand ended when he went there, it was just bleak violence.
The good old days 😉.
So taking the wife there was a bit disappointing, instead of a look into a school that was a cross between the 81 film Taps and 79 film scum it turned out to be a bit of a multigender/ multiracial mincing show with a splash of tartan.
(and I did not get to shag my wife behind the water tower because the chaperone wouldn’t leave us alone)
Bit of a cunty day that was.
1
One In One Out, aka The Hokey Cokey
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clykzx43v0po
Well who could have forseen this, apart from absolutely everyone but Kweer Starsole?
Unfortunately the ‘One in One out’ scheme to mash the sausages didn’t take account of Border Farce’s current BOGOF offer on its cross-Channel ferry service. So Mr Mohammed Yoyo has returned to bestow upon us some more of his cultural enrichment.
This time I suggest Moyoyo gets himself in front of Judge Fabian who surely will agree that he can’t be sent back to France again on the grounds that he’s allergic to Brie and finds the sight of Brigitte Macron offensive (don’t we all?).
You take your immo in, your immo out
In out in out shake him all about
Etc.
4
I’d very much like to second Mr Twatts fine nomination with this sorry tale…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgkpyr1ep4o
My memory isn’t quite what it was so I may have cunted this vile piece of arficunt shit recently but the crime is so disgusting yet not unusual in Modern Britain that it deserves to command our attention.
This cunt should die by being fed to wolves.
2
The Louvre Jewellery Heist and DEI
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9d6e2wv884o
Sacré bleu, DEI goes Gallic and Bonaparte’s jewels go awol..
The female French Culture Minister appoints the first female Director of the Louvre, who in turn appoints the first female Head of Security. All very diverse and progressive, and much to the delight of the woke French Establishment. What could possibly go wrong?
Well everything, actually. Thieves zoom up a 40 foot extendable ladder from the back of a lorry to a balcony, break their way into a gallery full of priceless artefacts with no CCTV, then help themselves to France’s Crown Jewels IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT DURING OPENING HOURS. They escape the way they entered and the outside CCTV camera faces the wrong way.
Apparently les dames felt the Louvre was too high-brow and they wanted to make it more accessible. Well they certainly succeeded.
3
The Kings Birthday Message (or lack of).
Lawrence O’Hara Hutchinson is a WW2 veteran who fought with the Parachute Regiment in the war seeing action at the Battle of Arnhem and helping liberate Belson concentration camp. After the war he settled in Chesterfield and raised a family.
In 2022 as he approached his one hundredth birthday he looked forward to a birthday message from the then Queen but none arrived, you see ‘Dublin’ as he is known didn’t get one because he was born in the Republic of Ireland and not part of the realm. This old soldier is 103 next month and it seems just a small bit of recognition is too much for the palace. Its particularly galling as King Charles is commander-in-chief of the Parachute Regiment and will be stood in all his finery and unearned medals next month at Remembrance Sunday.
Now I personally couldn’t give two lumps of cold shit about this family of grasping inbreds and wouldn’t want a birthday message from the king or queen even if I outlived Methuselah, although Kate would be welcome to send me a pair of her granny panties.
If he was a Pakistani bus driver or the sacred cow of the Windrush Generation he would have got a card. ‘Diversity build Britain’ as we are constantly told but only the black and brown sort.
Rules are rules.
ITVNews
2
ADMIN – may I ask that this nomination be granted ’emergency’ status and be given a priority scheduling? Thanks.
The Prison Service
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdx4k2d5yxlo
Just when you think this country can’t get any worse……
On the day that a piece of filthy Sudanese ‘asylum seeker’ shit is convicted of the brutal murder of a young mother by following her onto a deserted station platform at 11pm then stabbing her 23 times with a screwdriver, we get this.
What an absolute fucking farce. The illegal Ethiopian immo convicted of the sexual assault of a child and the cause of all the trouble at the Bell Hotel in Epping gets released from prison ‘by mistake’. What the absolute fuck? And 262 other criminals were released from chokey ‘by mistake’ in the last year. Don’t they check the person’s identity before they let them out?
As I write this 24 hours after the debacle the cunt is still on the run.
Just the latest national embarrassment to add to all the others from our inept, shambolic Government and State.
1