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NOW LET’S GET CUNTING!
The Dormeo Octasmart Memory Fresh Mattress Topper These foam replacement mattresses have been punted around for a decade or two mainly on the telly and the proposition usually includes a fifty day money back guarantee and a running permanent discount. No I take that back – a special online offer now includes a 200 day sleep trial – if you don’t like it return it ….so how does that work? Ah well it is very well hidden in the blurb but the punter has to pay return carriage of £45 and the mattress must be as new and in its original packaging. If the mattress is accepted then the carriage is deducted from the lucre you have paid before you get your money back.
Now on to online reviews. As has happened to an old character of my acquaintance it appears that Dormeo or their agents do not sterilise the returned bedding before reselling it hence the tight coiled black pubic hairs embedded in his cover. Nice.
A typical review from TrustPilot May 10, 2026. Note the recycling.
“I just this product but it on a bed i definitely not the bestt…
I just this product but it on a bed it was fine after a few weeks of using it noticed mattress and pillow started to come apart had a look inside both and was disgusted to see that was made up bits of old material the mattress springs if you can call them that were degraded and not looking that good the pillow was just full of bits and material left over definitely would never use or buy again”
4
Have I got News for You………..and why it won’t be around in the next 18 months or so.
HIGNFY….used to be a staple diet for me on a Friday evening many years ago…I even went to a recording of it when the London studios were a thing and Eddie izzard was the guest captain as Merton couldn’t make it for some reason. This is the time when Izzard was (for me anyway) A. very funny, and B a man who just liked wearing a bit of lippy.
Now, though it would seem it’s days are numbered. A few years ago the BBC brought out a rules that said panel games must include at least one woman….funny or not, they had to be there. Start of the decline IMO.
Now, this week we have had a report whereby 2 (yes, just two) viewers were in some way offended that Victoria Beckham was potentially being referred to as a cunt by the host of HIGNFY….that unfunny cunt Katherine Ryan. She never mentioned it directly, but merely inferred it.
Too much clutching of the pearl necklaces for two viewers who complained, and was upheld……..back in the day HIGNFY was far more cutting edge and no one complained. Tub of lard…anyone? Ripping the shit out of Boris, Ken Livingstone…it all went on, and that was for the better of the show. Now, though the sensitive cunts who watch get offended that Ryan may think Beckham may be it bit of a cunt. The BBC should grow a pair and tell them to fuck off, but I dare say the two complaints were from two employees, so the BBC can use them as an excuse to kill it off. It’s all gone a bit woke in recent years anyway.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqde0wrl9d5do
5
Call me a cynical, ungrateful cunt, but the ‘heroic’ Whelford farmer deserves a good old ‘look at me’ cunting.
The unknown (at the time of writing) woman has been lauded as a hero in some quarters for calling old bill when she spotted some shifty blokes and their transit vans in the dead of night, outside the perimeter of RAF Fairford.
Well done, you might think.
But it would appear that isn’t enough for our one woman agricultural anti terrorist squad.
She’s also claiming she ‘foiled’ the whole plot.
She’s obviously got herself down as a sort of Bruce Willis in a Barbour jacket and wellies.
At the end of the day, there’s nothing much heroic about seeing someone up to no good and calling the police.
Even a fucking child could do that.
What’s she after, I wonder?
The George Medal? A slot on Celebrity Masterchef?
I’ve seen people develop an ego after years of being told how great they are, but she’s only been in the news 4 hours.
What a self aggrandising old mare!
https://www.the-sun.com/news/17066026/farmer-foiled-raf-base-bomb-plot/
4
Sadig Khan
I refuse to give the hook-nosed old cunt his titles. Arsehole he was, and always has been.
Khan has always denied that London had gtooming gangs,which they plainly had – and have. He was asked by a reporter for a comment, and an apology. That last word was probably too much for the old shitstain, and he refused to comment because he had “no time to spare”. This happened a coiuple of times, but the silly old bastard was so busy,he had tie to talk to the alcoholic dodgy dossier writer, Alistair Campbell. I hope his alcoholic breath made the little brown turd drunk:
https://www.aol.co.uk/articles/confronted-sadiq-khan-over-grooming-074400000.html
3
The refusal to grant bail to Danno Tommo is wrong ; the decision to do so will come back to bite the judiciary and the politicians who engineered this disgraceful decision.
Doubtless, ‘our betters’ were hoping that he would plead guilty when in front of the beak so that he could be given a token sentence.
It has just occurred to me that Danny could use the Colston defence and get set free by a reasonable jury. However,this won’t pay him compensation for five months on remand in jail.
4
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm2kwlx2jg3do
0
Cheers Unk
0
Spiders, and how to keep them outdoors.
https://www.aol.co.uk/articles/asked-experts-keep-spiders-away-011000000.html
Short answer, you can’t, and why would you if they’re going to eat these infuriating fruit flies that are driving me insane!
The females live indoors mostly, you just don’t see them, while the males do macho stuff outdoors, like hang gliding and abseiling, and probably barbecueing, for all I know.
I was bitterly disappointed by the non-invasion of flying ants. Not a bloody one! I bought insect spray guaranteed to kill anything with wings.
Ha! The fruit flies haven’t got the memo.
Anyway, as you know, I have an aversion to insects, except butterflies and dragonflies.
I don’t even like caterpillars ( yes, I know. It’s like hating babies but quite liking small , well-behaved children ).
I once watched a woolybear, must have been six inches long, hump it way up my drive, the drive is a good car length, the wooly did it in about 3.8 seconds and quite frankly terrified me.
Enjoy your winter guests folks, though there’s one currently taking refuge under my two sofas and frightening the crap out of me when I catch it moving to and fro with the corner of my eye.
3
Repatriation & how to do it.
A nice anti cunting for the Malaysian govt who’ve responded to growing public hostility to mudslime migrants from Burma by putting thousands of them on buses and sending them back.
“Malaysia has described the repatriation as voluntary, but has barred the UN refugee agency from seeing or screening the returnees, who have been kept in detention centres.”
It’s their country so,amazingly,they do exactly as they please.
Very odd but very nice.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckj06542e5neo
“In May, an online complaint claimed that Rohingyas had failed to dispose of animal waste properly after the Muslim Eid al Adha festival, igniting a viral social media campaign falsely accusing Rohingya leaders of demanding land and citizenship in Malaysia.
Shortly thereafter, an online petition on Change.org calling for Rohingyas to be kicked out of Malaysia received more than 400,000 signatures, before being taken down.”
Bravo I say.
Lessons Could Be Learned…
2
Fly Dubai Hijack
If there ever was a PC – apparent – hijacking, this would be it :
Make an Uber driver the pilot – anoint him as the next Maverick
Land Plane from Dubai – going to Israel, land in Saudi – saved by Jewish Heroes – landed conveniently by two off-duty pilots.
Caused by a peaceful co-pilot cunt who brought an axe on the plane.
How can a sand dweller, who is a pilot, bring an axe on a plane? Or a knife big enough to do that damage.
Never nice to see innocents die at the hands of peacefuls in a plane, but this smells worse than the shit stains on the seats of said plane when it landed.
1
Neverending farcical bullshit ..
is a cunt. This supposedly ‘superior’ species of which we are a part just fucking up over and over. Layered inadequacy. How many stupidisms evident in one Reuters story about (not)executing a convicted killer..
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/tennessee-due-execute-woman-first-time-two-centuries-2026-09-30/
This woman took part in a jealousy fuelled torture/murder. Read the litany of attempted mitigations in the 30 plus years it took to strap her to a gurney, after sentencing. ‘Raped at 11, raped at 17’ , they say for example… (another slew of societal failures in order for those attacks to have occurred if they did, on various levels) … next? .. ‘she was young,’ .. oh fuck off! .. ‘mental ‘elf, take your pick of which one’, of course .. ‘bipolar’ , ‘ptsd’ …’infant alcohol syndrome’ …
Then, when all the bleeding heart murder apologists are left behind, we find the state unable to put the woman down despite three fucking decades in her case in which to prepare. A circus of clichés and ineptitude which ultimately sees an ambulance being called. More taxpayers funds to be spent on her on top of all the rest so far.
If nothing else, the huge cost in dollars to society caused by merely one background-noise nobody is not indicitive of a ‘superior’ species. You can bet this will lead to a new round of appeals for clemency. Some cunts will even claim divine intervention occurred, of course.
If it were an outlier situation , an anomolous stack of fuckups, .. it’d be one thing but it’s not. This level of ineptitude persists at some level at all times, somehow. In the link about this current botch up, it tells further down they didn’t manage to kill the previous cunt they tried to either.
Fuck’s sake. Farm the job out to Iran and North Korea, maybe. Backward neanderthalic shitholes they might be, .. but they have no probs doing a fairly simple job when the decision is made.
In ms.Pikes case, she herself might suggest the method of tying her to a chair in the woods, beating her for half an hour including carving a pentagram into her chest, then keeping part of the shattered skull as a trophy to show off to people later.
That’s how SHE managed to end a life, after all… and it only took her(with her boyfriend) 30 minutes, not 30 years.
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