Nominations


Use the Comment section below to write up your cunting nomination.

The site admins will periodically review the nominations and will either:

✔️ schedule it to be published immediately or at a later date, OR
❌ bin it for any number of reasons

Either way, your nomination will disappear from this page.
That’s how you’ll know it’s been reviewed, so don’t ask.

If you want your cunting nomination published, follow the fucking rules:

[1] Whenever possible include a link to a recognised news source or risk 🗑️.
[2] Unsubstantiated allegations against living people or institutions results in 🗑️.
[3] Too short (less than 5 lines) or too long (more than 50 lines) qualifies it for 🗑️.
[4] Pay attention to grammar, spelling, punctuation & spacing. Unreadable equals 🗑️.
[5] Respond appropriately to an admin comment within 2 days, otherwise it’s 🗑️.

Which leads us to a most important rule:
Do NOT ask questions or add comments to nominations unless:
➡️ specifically requested by an admin, or
➡️ you are seconding a nomination, or
➡️ you are the original nominator and are making a correction, or
➡️ you are adding a link at the request of the nominator or an admin
If you break this rule, you may be moderated indefinitely or possibly banned.

NOW LET’S GET CUNTING!

20 thoughts on “Nominations”

  1. 100% British Chocolate.

    “A chocolate bar has been made using entirely British ingredients for the first time in nearly a century, with cocoa from not Brazil or Bali, but Berkshire.

    Created at the University of Reading, it was named the Reading 100 Chocolate Bar to mark the university’s 100th anniversary.

    It is the first of its kind since 1932, when Rowntree’s gifted a six-year-old Princess Elizabeth the only other bar of UK-grown chocolate ever made.”

    Ah the days of Empire! A bit of patriotic pride once more..

    No.

    “Food security master’s student Maha Khan created the chocolate bar by harvesting, fermenting and processing the Reading-grown cocoa.”

    “She said: “It is incredible that we can make 100% British chocolate – but in the context of climate change, pests and diseases, there are estimates that 30 to 40% is lost.”

    So a paki made it in a laboratory.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxe2kw31wpo

    Fuck off.

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  2. Edwina currie.. not content with being known as Mr grey majors cock polisher.. this raddled cunt thinks brothels should be opened near illegals accommodation..

    I kid you not… because third world savages need sexual release to… i take it this cobwebbed cunt will be offering herself, and all her female family members to the cause..

    We have reached peak retard..
    Low impulse rapey foreigners, foisted on your doorstep.
    First thought is not how to get rid of, no its how to get them off sexually..

    Why not, we pay for everything else for these cockroaches, and angie can always dust off her whip and earn some cash.

    Sorry its a times radio link.
    https://x.com/i/status/2087573652099187005

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    • I thought she’d died years ago, maybe I just hoped she’d died or otherwise fucked off.

      Sadly I’ve discovered she’s still alive.

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  3. Lettuce.

    Lettuce is fucking rubbish.

    Some interesting facts about lettuce.

    98% of a lettuce is water. The other 2% is whatever makes it green and solid.
    Scientists are yet to discover what the 2% is, as they couldn’t be arsed to find out.

    There has never been a case of panic buying of lettuces anywhere in the world.

    There is more nutritional value in the plastic bag that the lettuce came in than the lettuce itself.

    The first and only lettuce festival in the UK, which was due to be held in Bucknall, Lincolnshire in 1935 had to be cancelled as nobody turned up, not even the organiser.

    No heterosexual male has ever brought a lettuce.

    Lettuce is grown from seeds, but just like the Coke Cola recipe, only 3 people know where the seeds come from.
    Nobody has ever found a seed in a lettuce.

    The Lettuce Marketing Board consists of just one person who works part time from home.
    The annual budget for the LMB is £26.50p and the person who is the Marketing Board was made a life peer for introducing the L into a BT sandwich, therefore tripling sales.

    The centre of a lettuce is reputed to be deadly poisonous with no known antidote.
    This fact is rarely published as no one has ever reached the centre of a lettuce.

    In the remote French hamlet of Gavarnie-Gèdre
    there is a lettuce fiesta which boosts the tiny village population from 846 people to closer to 860.
    Tractors pull trailers full of lettuces through the streets which are thrown into the crowd.
    The tradition started in 1841 when a farmer grew a field full of lettuces by mistake and threw them into his neighbour’s field to get rid of them.
    His neighbour promptly threw them back.

    When scientists put the phrase, “I like lettuce” into the search facilities of the first computers, the circuit boards melted.

    We know more about the core of Saturn than the centre of a lettuce.

    Before fridges, you would use a few leaves from the outer layer of a lettuce, and the following day chuck the rest away as it would be going rotten.
    With fridges, there is now a drawer at the bottom dedicated to the remaining part of a lettuce, where it can be stored for up to a week before chucking it away.

    If all of the lettuce put into landfill every year were stacked up, they would reach to the moon and back SEVEN times.

    There are 46 different varieties of lettuce.
    When surveyed, the general public could name only Iceberg and Rocket before wandering away, disinterested.

    When a study group of 897 volunteers in Stockholm, Sweden were offered the choice between a lettuce leaf and a chocolate hob-nob, nobody chose the lettuce.

    Women, póófs and trannies sometimes try to make a sandwich look fancy by adding a lettuce leaf to the contents.
    They always leave some of the lettuce hanging out of the sandwich as otherwise, you wouldn’t have a clue that it was there by the taste.

    The phrase, “Could I have a little more lettuce with that?” has never appeared in literature or in song lyrics in any language in the world, ever.

    In the summer of 1895 the entire lettuce stock of the UK was destroyed by lettuce blight.
    Nobody gave a fuck.

    The domain name for Caserta, Campania, Italy
    Is ce.it.
    The website address lettu.ce.it has been available since 1996 at a price of 3 euros and is yet to be claimed.

    Supermarkets have to throw away 65% of their lettuces at the end of every day.
    The remaining 35% are sold to customers who throw them away the following day.

    Lettuces were never native to Italy.
    When Julius Ceasar first saw one in what is modern day Germany and was later asked what he thought of it, he is quoted as saying, “Veni, vidi, abieci”.
    I came, I saw, I chucked it away.

    The term for a lettuce grower is ‘cunt’.
    The plural is ‘bunch of cunts’.

    ©Lettuce is Wank. Volume 3. Artful Cunter Production Co. Ltd.

    https://ruhlman.com/the-hidden-health-hazards-of-lettuce/

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  4. The BBC bias and quite obvious smokescreen regarding Reform and the Clacton by election.

    I may well be a bit sad, but I do enjoy cynicallywatching the results coming in from elections. so, naturally I wanted to watch the events unfold watching the tv with a large glass of red into the early hours. I checked online and the result from Clacton was forecasted to come in around 2am…..a not too late time to stay up in my book. I settled down to tune in just after 10pm….nothing ,zero tv coverage on any channels.The Burnham by election you couldn’t get away from it on tv…blanket coverage. Clacton…..fuck all. Went to BBC website and had to scroll right down until I found a small picture or farage and a link to a report, but still nothing live. In rhe end, I finished my wine and fucked off to bed around midnight. Woke up this morning to check the result on BBC website and guess what….two top stories about the farage £5m donation and how the enquiry will continue into it.

    BBC over the moon farage and reform being investigated, but night before it was as if he didn’t exist. This smacks . Cunts

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgwz9delwwo

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  5. Michael Cooper.
    Former DCI , current jailbird and gold-plated arrogant cunt.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy7486yj6zko

    Cooper crashed his unmarked police car in September 2021, killing a 50 year old man and severely injuring a woman.
    He was using the vehicle without authorisation.

    When interviewed, he suggested he may have passed out but refused access to his medical records.

    It was revealed in court that in 2009 he had been advised to stop driving by a consultant neurologist after episodes of randomly collapsing, and to inform the DVLA and his employer. The arrogant cunt carried on as normal.

    In 2024 an internal inquiry found him guilty of gross misconduct and that he would have been sacked had he not already resigned. Really? You don’t say! So presumably he gets to keep his pension.

    After pleading guilty to causing death and serious injury last month, he was sentenced to three years and seven months.

    Just in case those at the back didn’t hear
    Three years and seven fucking months!

    The injured woman is hopefully suing his arse off, and he can kiss goodbye to that pension, fingers crossed.

    I’ve Googled can your GP inform the DVLA, and the answer is yes under very strict rules, so what medic has the time to spend and is going to be arsed to bother?

    Maybe if they were legally compelled to notify the DVLA, tragedies like this might be fewer.

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  6. Roys Bedoys is a fucking irritating cunt.

    This animated children’s programme features Roys, his family and friends. Roys is an ill mannered brat who behaves appallingly only to be taught a life lesson at the end of each episode.

    All great in theory, apart from the fact many children will be influenced by his arsehole behaviour and try to emulate him. One episode showed Roys’ friends retreating from him as he reeked of shit, having not wiped his hoop. Not before the little cunt tried to blame all his friends for creating the shyte miasma.

    Roys Bedoys needs a fucking good beating with a sturdy Adidas trainer. The cunt.

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  7. My cancer journey.

    Except it’s not. It’s an out of control 120mph headlong dash towards a solid brick wall, and the brakes have failed.

    How I loath the z Listers, who pimp theirselves for views, and when you read the shit they spew, it’s a mole that has been successfully removed.

    In February, my lovey Bengal cat, Dexter, started snorting gung, after spending a fucking fortune, it turned out he had an inoperable tumour in his nasal cavity. I had him put to sleep, and I hope he can forgive me for all the prodding and poking he endured.

    In March, I started to bloat in my abdomen. I went to the doctor, who sent me for blood tests. Two days later I got the results.
    Terminal cancer with less than 12 months.

    I’ve been hospitalised twice, once for a temporary drain and I spent my 72nd birthday having a permanent plural drain fitted.

    I’m having chemo every four weeks, because it makes me more comfortable. It’s stopped the fluid build up, which is great.

    I can live at home, have a shower and put clean clothes on. I need minimal help.
    Lately, I’ve been getting pain, the morphine helps, but I long for a decent nights sleep.

    Anyway, enough about me, but if I stop posting you know whats happened.

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  8. Right first off this Jason Arday bloke needs a proper cunting.

    Comes up with the sort of fantasy wank the pub tosser dreams up after 5 or 6 pints of Stella giving it large about being in the Falklands war or having joined the SAS and been part of that embassy raid. Despite being born years after both of these taking place.

    Anyway Jason claimed he was non verbal, suffered from this an that, how evil wwwaaayyyccciiissssttt people had sent a pigs head to his house and the police debunked it as bollocks.

    Copied loads of his work off other people, claimed to have donated loads of cash to charity, run a shit ton of marathons with a broken leg or something.

    Worked for some water charity, then played the race card every time someone thought his claims were quite frankly bollocks.

    Finally as the story broke the university which should have told the chancer to do one ages ago started investigating his bollocks claims and covering their arses.

    Well Jason resigned despite an open letter of support from the usual race baiting suspects.

    Now he’s been found dead, I’m not sure about that as I there was something in his CV about being the son of God an popping back in a few days.

    Anyway he’s definitely non fucking verbal now unless one of those Derek Acora psychic chancers decides to channel him from the afterlife and he’ll blame everything on Nigel Farage.

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  9. Another thing that needs a cunting is the Emergency Alert system.

    There I was feeding treats to one of the cats when the phone flashes and an annoying wibble tone frightened the cat off.

    So what was so damn important who knows as it’s in Welsh and I don’t speak the language. Has Putin decided to nuke us and the PM is letting us know we’ve time to boil an egg, or the Orange man has pushed the button in error.

    Well shortly after the English version arrives to frightening the cats again. Turns out said emergency is a warning about fires in Wales and not to go burning the countryside.

    Well as the PM has banned the barbeque things and the fires are being set by feral yoofs it was all a bit fucking pointless.

    No doubt we’ll get another one about flooding when the wet weather arrives followed by one on imported brown rapey stabby folk being abused by the folk they’re raping an stabbing.

    The Emergency System is a cunt that failed to do anything except frighten the cats(twice)

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  10. The Perfect Shark Shot.

    “I knew something was different because the sharks were on the surface,” says Tayane Dalazen, a 37-year old Brazilian lawyer and social media personality.

    “There were a lot of them,” she says. “Later, I discovered [the tour organisers] were feeding the sharks so that they would interact with the tourists.”

    Dalazen, from Sao Paulo, was on a shark-diving trip on the Brazilian coast in April when she suddenly felt “strong pressure” on her leg.

    “When the shark bit me, the pain was very strong,” she says. “I stayed calm because I knew I couldn’t fight the animal.”

    Incidents of sharks biting humans are incredibly rare, but at least three influencers have been bitten by the animals in less than a year. Scientists say they’re increasingly concerned about the rise in social media videos showing people swimming too close to sharks, touching or even riding them.

    “I’m seeing these videos every single week now and it’s way more than it ever used to be,” says shark scientist Kristian Parton, who also hosts the ‘Shark Bytes’ YouTube channel. “We’re going to see people ending up in really serious incidents with sharks.”

    In July, a fishing influencer almost lost his leg after being attacked by a reef shark whilst spearfishing. In December, a Chinese content creator was bitten in the Maldives. Both incidents were caught on camera.

    What the fuck is wrong with these idiots?

    The fantastic social media has a lot to answer for.

    I am however a keen advocate of Natural Selection.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yvrn7rpqpo

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  11. The Daily Express

    Belive me this cunting is more in sorrow than anger. I admired the Express for being so pro leave in the EU debate – their support was non-flinching, unlike the Mail and the red top tabloids, bought off by the poncey left, BUT. prior to that they kept a shrine going for that old slapper Diana Spencer for years after her “accident” and now they are the offocial fanzine for Harry Hewitt and his actress wife – every day there is yet another breathless story “Harry’s fury as Meghan farts in bed – this will end their Hollywood dream” and that old bollocks.

    In addition to goig up to £2.10 a day (a year ago it was less than £1.50 – I think £1.40, you now have to pay for most of their content and what is free is shit. Take this for example from Royal Czech Mail. A few days ago they “warned” againt using coloured envelopes for birthday cards and the like, now today some even more stating the bleeding obvious:

    https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2237980/royal-mail-issues-notice-writing

    This is news?. The silly cunts take over a week to deliver a letter from EC1 to North West London , and that is even if the address is printed black on white:

    https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2237980/royal-mail-issues-notice-writing

    The Czech Mail deserve a cunting – I will leave that for somebody else, but the poor old Express – John Junor would be turning in his grave.

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  12. The National Travellers Action Group.

    “The number of unauthorised Gypsy and traveller sites is on the rise, with developments often carried out over Bank Holiday weekends.

    Since April, sites in Hertfordshire, Essex, Cambridgeshire, Bedfordshire and elsewhere have been transformed, prompting legal battles and local dismay”..

    Dismay,aye reckon so.

    “Cliff Codona, who founded and chairs the National Travellers’ Action Group, says the planning system is like a “big dagger in their back” for travellers, leaving them no option but to “break the law”.

    When Codona moved on to what has become his family’s caravan site, just outside Elm, near Wisbech, Cambridgeshire, in 2020, he did not have planning permission.

    “We pulled down on a Friday evening when we knew the council was all closed up and we just took it for granted that this is how things get done,” he recalls.

    “As soon as they know you’re a Gypsy,” he says, a planning application is “stopped – dead in its tracks”.

    It is a fucking shame.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cpq3w8q0j9go

    There must be an answer to this?

    What could it be?

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