Well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs!
I bet that you’re all like me in thinking that it wasn’t possible for short-of-arse gobshite John ‘Mighty Mouse’ Bercow to make himself look an even bigger twat than he does already. Like me, you’d be wrong. The late unlamented Speaker and wannabe peer of the realm has *lol!* only gone and joined the Labour Party! Would you Adam an’ Eve it?

The pipsqueak states that he regards the Tories under Bojo as ‘reactionary, populist, nationalistic and sometimes even xenophobic’ **. He then *guffaw* goes on to say that ‘I am motivated by support for equality, social justice, and internationalism. That’s the Labour brand’. What a hoot.

So then, it’s nothing to do with being knocked back by Bojo for a sinecure in the Lords after your slimy stop Brexit machinations while holding the office of Speaker? ‘This isn’t about revenge. That’s not what motivates me’, says the pious humbug. Of course it’s not; how could such a high-minded altruist as yourself possibly succumb to so base a motivation?

Anyway, I’m sure the lofty idealists of the Labour Party will welcome you with open arms. You’re a natural bedfellow for the likes of the Corbynistas and all the rest of the fellow travellers.

Meanwhile, allow me to say on behalf of the rest of us, ‘well raise mah rent, you ARE a cunt!’.

**translation into English; ‘Johnson promised to get Brexit done as mandated by the people, and did’.

Bercow Joins Labour

Nominated by: Ron Knee

And seconded by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

I was also on this one. Our political correspondent beat me to it.
But:
Can Labour get any luckier? Down in the polls, under a 1000 votes in a bi-election and now they can welcome the remoaning poison dwarf Bercow into their ranks. It cant get much better than that.

As Kweer tries to shake off the deserved mantle of the party of bitter remainers, Bercow is just what they needed. This will go down well outside of the M25.

But, could there be more to the undoubtedly selfless public servant’s motives?
Surely not a recommendation for a peerage from Sir Kweer? Perish the thought.

Further info by: Rod Knee

I think the troops might be interested and amused by this as an addendum to my recent nom. for Bercow.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9710937/John-Bercow-begged-Jeremy-Corbyn-help-getting-peerage.html

I’ve had this card since I was born. Everyone on the telly, in business and in academia keep telling me how useful it is.

My family are all honkies too. I think this means our privilege levels are through the roof?

Well, it appears that this card has not given me or those close to me much, if any privilege at all. My mother is keen on all that ancestry stuff, and it seems most of my ancestors were either in workhouses for the poor, child labourers or blown to pieces in wars. Most died young. My family kept looking for the white privilege we’re told that we all have, but we still haven’t found it.

I’ve had to work myself half to death just to get a reasonable standard of living. Nothing fancy mind. And it takes me 60-80 hours a week of my time. I’m told my city needs to become more ‘diverse’ too. There are too many of us whites you see. Too many whites is bad. Too many blacks is great. This card is shite.

If I want to enrol on a part-time master’s degree course, I’ll need to be much better than any dark keys who apply. If they’re anything like close to my academic level, they’ll get that place at Oxbridge, not me.

If I want a promotion…well it’s the same again. Deshawn has only been here a year and constantly fucks up and is a lazy cunt to boot, but the dark keys need a ‘role model’. Wait your turn, honky man. Once all the dark keys are happy, that is.

I’m told that I and my people are the problem when it comes to things like crime. I mean, just look at the cases of George Floyd and Stephen Lawrence. Well, how could you miss those stories, right? Then I look at crime statistics and see that whites are much more likely to be killed, assaulted or raped by blacks than the other way around. This never gets mentioned. White crimes are highlighted, and the much more prevalent black ones are either played down or hidden altogether. Is my card faulty or something?

I can’t even watch my football team without them kneeling for black people and demanding I do the same. I’m told that we are not needed in the media. I hear words like ‘hideously white’ being used by our MPs and this seems fine. Again, this white privilege card seems to do nothing.

Millionaires like Michael Holding and Lenny Henry tell me off about my privilege and the oppression they suffer at my hands. Mr Holding, who spends his time in his large properties in the Caribbean during the UK’s winter months, and his summers watching horse racing and cricket in Blighty. He’s telling me I’m privileged and that he’s oppressed? He must be right though, he’s always on the telly and his word treated as gospel.

No, I’m taking the damn thing back. It’s useless. But that black privilege card?

Now you’re talking. I hear there are mad enough plastic surgeons out there who can make you black.

If I’m not on EastEnders, all the adverts or reading the news within a week, I’ll eat my privileged white ringpiece.

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

(Could have gone for a header pic of Michael Fish or Carol Kirkwood, but was distracted by this warm front coming in from the US! – DA)

…WEATHER FORECASTERS, especially TV weather forecasters!

They get paid a very good salary (don’t have exact figures but I bet its probably well over minimum wage!), for spouting any old bollocks about the weather for today and the next few days!

They will argue/defend themselves by saying “these are just forecasts” Which basically means its just an educated guess, and therefore they can’t be held responsible if these forecasts don’t materialise.

Of course most of us remember quite fondly poor old Michael’s Fish’s “It’s not a hurricane” forecast on the BBC back in 1987. And despite the subsequent ignominy, he still received his monthly pay slip.

But forecasters generally, are a bunch of smug, grinning bastards, standing in front of a map of Britain playing with lots of fancy graphics and banging on about the latest super-duper computer that can calculate 10 billion operations in a second, but still can’t give a definitive answer on whether it will piss down in Torquay this afternoon!

Moreover, when I check the BBC’s online weather page for my area first thing of a morning, it will say sunshine tomorrow morning, and then rain tomorrow afternoon. Great, I think, I can go and cut the lawn in the morning!

But then I check the same site a few hours later, and the rules have changed: rain in the morning, rain in the afternoon. Fuck!

Following morning, check the weather: a complete reverse – rain in the morning, sunshine in the afternoon. But when I look out of my window there’s not a fucking cloud in the sky and its 26C in the glaring sun!

Weather forecasters – just a bunch of well paid bullshitters!

I hope they all get sucked up in an unexpected tornado and end up dumped in the middle of the ocean and eaten by sharks or an unhinged kraken (can Jess Phillips swim?)

Nominated by: Technocunt

Let’ hear it again for this vacuous empty headed Fascist cunt:

A European judge yesterday made it very clear that he rejected the EU’s spurious and mendacious complaints against AstraVenica, yet the cock-sucking EU whore somehow construes it as a win for her and her mob of pikeys:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-57531064

What planet does this stupid cunt inhabit?. She has managed in her rats nest of a mind, to completely revere what the judge actually decided. The fact that she can’t acknowledge plain truth shows just what a corrupt organisation she is in charge of.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

After the Amersham and Chesam bi -election a lot of self serving shite has been said about the South being ‘left behind’ while all resources are focussed on the north.

Addressing concerns the government’s focus on the so-called former red wall seats in the Midlands and North of England has left people in traditional “blue wall” Tory areas feeling left behind.

I dont remember these car dealer, stockbroker and likewise cunts being concerned when Thatcher ripped the heart out of the Industrial areas of the UK. Perish the thought that beastly Northerners should get decent transport and infrastructure investment. None of which has actually fucking happened.

For the Home Counties I hope we can ship in millions of peacefuls, let the road system clog up, provide shite rail links and erect wind farms everyfuckingwhere so these soft, stuck up Southern cunts get a taste of what being left behind is actually like.
Let the fucking Lib Dems sort that out for them.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-57535928

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble