On every team shirt of every footballer in the Euros there is a badge with the word ‘Respect’. Let’s see how these overpaid cunts show their respect.

They disrespect the majority of their supporters by getting down on one knee before each game.

They disrespect the rules of fair play by deliberately fouling the opposition.

They throw themselves to the ground in simulated agony in an attempt to have an opposing player booked or sent off.

They disrespect the opposition with their childish and over enthusiastic goal celebrations.

The disrespect the officials by arguing against every decision.

But it’s not just footballing cunts that have no idea what the word respect means.

Young people get very upset and sometimes violent if they feel that they are not being shown sufficient ‘respeck’. You is dissing them innit.

Well cunty, you are a semi literate twenty year old still living with your mum.
You are unemployable and have no money. Your haircut looks ridiculous.
Your life experience amounts to half a percent of fuck all. So excuse me if I don’t fucking respect you.

There was a time when old people deserved respect. But now there are fewer and fewer around that had to endure the horrors of war. They have been replaced with old people who have moved on from a lifetime on benefits to receiving a state pension, having never worked a day in their lives.

Respect other people’s religion. To me all religions are a mixture of childish superstitions and rituals. The people that practice these things are narrow minded, deluded bigots. So I have no respect for them either.

People talk about ‘mutual respect’. I have no idea how that works. If I were to achieve something outstanding and someone respected me for it, am I to respect them in return? For what?

Respect is a concept that is thrown around like confetti at a wedding.

If you want my respect you have to earn it.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

Bruce Springsteen is a cunt, isn’t he.

Have you had the Oxford vaccine? What, both of them? It doesn’t matter, you are barred from watching this multi-millionaire socialist still singing about the “working man.”

The NHS has stated the AstraZeneca vaccine is ‘safe and tested and will protect you against serious illness from Covid-19’. Not for this sweating rocker with bleached teeth. The AstraZeneca vaccine isn’t decent enough for his concerts.

Perhaps this old hypocrite should concentrate on hobnobbing with Barack O’bomber or making shiploads of dosh from appearing in Wrangler Jeep adverts. I’m sure he’ll keep singing about capitalism and Reagan’s trickledown economics though like he’s gargling barbed wire.

? Cunts like us, baby we were born to run.

Vaccine Discrimination

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

Seconded by: Miserable Northern cunt

Capt Maggie permitting,

Id like to second this nom.
Ive always hated Bryce Springsteen.
His music alone is enough to trigger my inner and outer nazi.
Just weary meandering shite.
But his faux Woody Guthrie,
Blue collar working man bullshit sends me full Pol Pot.
Hes a fake cunt!
Never grafted in his life!
Whats in your lunch pail Bruce?
Fuckin Caviar?!
You poseur cunt.
Only song he ever wrote was any good was ‘Because the night’
And that was only good because Patti Smith did it.
Bruce had done it, itd be unlistenable.
Take the bandana from your back pocket and garrot yourself you champagne socialist twat.

Thirded by: Cunty Gordon

Used to love him, but he has became a colossal bellend in recent years. He was recently nabbed for drunk driving his motorbike but he basically got let off being New Jersey/New York/USA Royalty. Any other peasant would have been in the dungeon.

Americans on the left and right love The Boss despite him being as far left as you can get so why the Republicans and moderates listen to his empty rhetoric is beyond me. Aren’t rebels, ie. rock stars supposed to hate politics and politicians? In the 70s, 80s they did. They never even cosied up to Bill “Suck my dick” Clinton the sax player in the 90s. But when Obama came along the dick sucking was unreal. I’m a Dylan fan and seeing Bath House Barry give the Weirdest Guy in Showbiz the Medal of Freedom, I was like… huh? Bob looked like he usually looked, of course, his “this means nothing” face! The original troll. Obama gave other sycophantic bellends medals but I must have erased them from my memory. Gloria Estefan? James Taylor? Stevie Wonder? Robert De Niro got one, he’s a sexual degenerate.

I’m starting a nom for “Heads of State are Cunts”. At this point it’s obvious that all of them are in the “big” countries, not just some or half of them, it’s 100%.

It was Mrs B’s birthday last month, her birthday wish was a “Hot composter”.
I vaguely agreed and googled them at my leisure.

A “Hot Composter” seems to be an oversized beer cooler with a thermometer and an array of consumables that make the claim of “Free compost” very dubious.

Well fuck that for a game of soldiers, some tin sheets a bit of celotex and some second hand decking, a probe thermometer and voila a home made compost bin.

Chucked in a load of grass clippings some twigs and a nice 60C for about 4 days and the fucker splutters out.

So its time to start reading up on this shit.

I need to oxygenate the fucker, I can buy sacks of half composted shit for this or….practice golf balls.

So I empty the fucking thing and reload it with compost and golf balls.
Yes 60c for about 3 days and it splutters out. Moisture content to high (” good compost should have the feel of a squeezed sponge”) use drying medium…….. what the fuck is that?

Paper shreddings! by good fortune the office decided to clear out all the received purchase orders, so after shredding apx £160,000 worth of purchase orders I had my medium. (I note that this will make invoice queries over the next two years a little difficult, but it was not my decision to shred them).

So again hook all the shit out, create a raised lower bed of mesh, mix the compost with the “Drying medium” and repack the fucker complete with little golf balls.

Now back in the day I used to have 3 piles of shit in the garden, Ready, Getting there, and in use, that was my composting system and it worked quite well, anything to chunky in Ready would be delegated to in use and lets see if it survives another 2 years.

This “Modern” scientific process is a pain in the arse, it even suggests drying out items to be composted to judge the moisture content so that I can gauge adequate drying medium.

My friends composting can be a cunt.

Nominated by: lord benny(not quite deceased, but close) 

My friend who I have mentioned before. Anyway last night he won! Let’s have a party! Everything going great but he can’t resist -‘I’m just nipping out’ Comes back all quiet, a sure sign there’s a problem.

Now the booze is running out. We all turn to him. ‘I’ve fucked up’ meaning he has just lost all the money. What is so funny I find with these situations is everybody standing round then realising the party’s over and having to walk forlornly home. As I say the party was at full swing at 8 and everybody gone home or gone to bed at 9.

This often happens with him. We’re all going on a summer holiday! All the preparations for a week. He was organising it. Anyway, we get there and he hasn’t paid.

’I forgot’. Once again everyone stood around. And of course he couldn’t pay now because he’s lost all his money again. Nothing to do but go home.

He used to lie. And It took me ages to work this out. ‘My coat’s been nicked with all my money in it’. So I took it upon myself to find out where it was. A day spent doing this.

Anyway it happened again and again until it dawned on me he’s not lost his coat at all or had it nicked he’s just lost all his money at the bookies again. When I addressed him finally he looked straight ahead and just didn’t say anything.

There was a news piece a few years ago about some fella who had got all his friends to invest in something. Turned out there was nothing. It was a complete fantasy. One of those conned caught up with him and on camera confronted him with all his questions. Just silence, no response. Like my friend.

I don’t know if was had up for fraud or anything. I think he might just have got away with it, simply moved on.

My friend never has to move on. He has his martyr-like ex- wife to support him.

Just keep silent and everything will be alright.

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

This cunt factory is in Hammersmith……very posh, very prestigious…….£26,000 a year to you Sir. You probably thought you could escape the hand of the woke at such an establishment. Think again.

As from September the Head Girl will be known as the Head of School so as not to upset the “non binaries.”

Hold on a minute, doesn’t Head of School sound a bit like the Head Teacher? That’s a bit confusing innit? Not really because the Head Teacher is actually called the High Mistress!

Seriously! I’m not making this shit up. The High Mistress is one Sarah Fletcher who claims there are at least 150 different gender identities. Oh yeah, name them then Sarah you dozy old ratbag. Don’t just pick a number out of the air and think no cunt is going to challenge it.

What an absolute load of fucking bollocks.

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog 

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