Clive Lewis MP (2)

Oh Gawd!

Just when you think it’s safe to take the earplugs out, along comes some big mouth to give it large once more.

Let’s have a rousing IsAC round of applause then for race-baiting, Brexit-hating Labour gobshite Clive Lewis. In his latest bit of pontificating, the MP for Norwich South is claiming that the Brexit campaign ‘had racism at its core’.

Well well… sore loser Remainer plays the ‘race’ card against Brexiteers. My ‘leave’ vote clearly had nothing to do with my visceral loathing of the suffocating, bloated, corrupt plutocracy that is the EU. No, according to Lewis’s logic, I’m a Brexiteer because at heart, I’m a ‘racist’.

According to this twat, Brexit was in essence ‘a colossal, post-colonial panic attack’ (whatever that’s actually supposed to mean). Etc ad nauseum.

Tell you what. I wouldn’t half enjoy meeting Mr Lewis down the pub one of these days for a pie, a pint, and a relaxing evening of convivial, amusing conversation. I bet he’s a laugh a fucking minute.

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Nominated by: Ron Knee

American “candy” shops

A Cunting please for the plague of American “candy” shops which appear to be taking over the UK’s high streets.

Firstly the American term “candy” is an abomination and should be scorned. From now on I will call them “sweets”.

These offensive shops are popping up all over the place. For some reason there are 8 in Oxford Street alone. The chief offender is a company called “Kingdom of Sweets” (at least they don’t use the term “candy”) but there are many others as well as a large number of UK online suppliers.

They specialise in selling to gullible Brits, and at hugely jacked up prices, the most disgusting, sickly, sweet, sugar-laden, unhealthy sweets in the World, viz, the American variety.

American sweets and chocolates are the worst. I was born in the USA and spent the first five years of my life out there and even as a child I found American sweets disgusting – particularly Hostess Twinkies. I much preferred UK sweets and chocolate when we came back to the UK.

If you go onto the website for Kingdom of Sweets you can buy abominations such as Reeses Puffs, Hershey’s Eat More Toffee Bar (and dental filling remover), Hershey’s Mr Goodbar, Oreo Peanut Butter and Chocolate, Whatchamacallit (which has more calories than you should eat in a year) , 3 Musketeers (300 grams of sugar per bar), Hostess Ding Dongs (don’t ask), Hostess Iced Vanilla Zingers, Hostess Ho Ho’s (not as exciting as it sounds) and Hostess Banana Twinkies.

Putting aside the question of why so many American confectionary brands carry sexually challenging names (Puffs, Ding Dong’s, Ho Ho’s, Twinkies, etc), I can tell you that these products are the grossest pap on Earth, one bite of which will give you enough calories to last the year and will turbocharge your cholesterol levels. American chocolate also tastes like flavoured wax – but I’m not sure what the flavour is.

Why is the stuff evidently popular in the UK? I can only assume it’s another manifestation of the infantilization of British culture. Hip Millennials think it’s fun and trendy to pay £10 + for infantile American sweets. Dopey cunts.

At least we have our Cadbury’s – oh, hold on….

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Nominated by: MMCM

Sport Hyperbole

Could all sports commentators please please stop using the word ’historic’.

The only way in which the vast majority of statements they lazily throw at us can be deemed historic is that they have already happened and that essentially applies to everything, including me composing this.

Also, not everything that happens in sport is either amazing or sensational, I’ve just watched motd and, as good as Danny ings’ goal was it didn’t warrant several pundits jizzing their underwear throughout the course of final score and motd – they’ve basically awarded him the goal of the season two weeks into the new season. Calm down you over excitable cunts.

Sorry, I forgot to add, events such as Tom Daley and another boy winning gold medals does not ‘ unite the nation’, the vast majority of folks are indifferent to the achievements of the two of them jumping into the water and to that cunt who I heard on the radio suggesting that Simone biles ‘inspires every generation’, no she doesn’t.

Can I also mention the relentless promotion of women’s sport. If the England and Wales cricket board wish to recreate the current events taking place at Kabul airport all it would take would be to schedule the women’s hundred before the proper, albeit unnecessary, men’s event.

Nominated by: Keith Hall

Image Recommendation Software (IRS)

IRS is a bit of a cunt because usually the recommendations are way off beam.

For instance, Facebook uses some type of image recognition software on its site. It recognises faces on videos that users are watching and somehow makes recommendations for other videos based on what the software thinks they are watching. Unfortunately it spectacularly backfired on Facebook when users who watched a video featuring black men were shown an auto-generated prompt asking if they would like to “keep seeing videos about primates”.

In 2015, Google’s image recognition software also classified photos of Black people as “gorillas.”

Oh dear !

The problem with this type of artificial intelligence software is that it’s not very intelligent. Unless it knows something we don’t ?

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Nominated by: MMCM

Hilary Mantel

A pair of blue and gold starred bloomers, made out of a moth-eaten EU flag, please (assuming she can wear them, rather than granny heavy duty Tenaladies) for this elderly old tart, who has a face as contorted as Lord Adonis’s overused ringpiece.

The old hag 69 (she says) is delving into her ancestors background to become an Irish citizen, so she can “become a European again” Who gives a fuck:

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The BBC on their Wireless 4 news at lunchtime were obviously deeply pleased and moved with the old hags declaration.

An old woman, whose one “skill” is to write crap and get it published reminds me of the Nancy boy MPs, who want to be European, because they seem to think, it gives them some sort of “cool” cachet – puts them one up on us commoners.

I hope the old cunt does go and live in Southern Ireland and we never have to hear her drawl again.

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs

And seconded by: MMCM

I would like to second this nom as Hillary Mantel makes my blood boil.

Just a few of her gripes about Britain

– Brexit.
– It’s a monarchy and she will “breathe more easily” in a republic.
– Brexit.
– The English abuse “exhausted refugees” as they scramble up the beach at Dover.
– Brexit.
– The UK is an “artificial” construct (unlike the EU).
-Brexit.
– Her fantasy of killing Margaret Thatcher never came true.
– Brexit.

I genuinely think this woman is as mad as a box of frogs.

Good riddance you goofy looking old sow. And don’t forget to hand your dame-hood back at passport control.

Yet more by – Captain Magnanimous

When this rancorous horrorshow isn’t attacking royals, she’s calling anybody who criticises parasite Markles a raaaycist. Now, five years after we escaped the Reich, this rancid scary Mary is attacking Brexiteers. Christ’s coddled codpiece, the old witch must have a new shite novel to plug.

Apparently this stewed prune is a “Dame” and is thinking of moving to the Republik of Ireland as she’s so “ashamed of Brexit Britain”. Who in their right mind would want to live in Oireland? Even the Dinghy Illegals give it a miss.

I’ll chip in to her fucking off if she promises not to write any more dross that’s subsequently made into dreary TV starring pompous fops.

As Henry VIII might have said to Mantel in one of her tedious books, “Thou art the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended my nostril and thy face could sour ripe grapes. Get thee gone thy rotund, venomous toad.”

Mantel, thou art a cunt.

(According to her Wiki page, she has a CBE and DBE. One assumes, therefore, when she fucks off to Ireland (a republic) she’ll give up her “evil” gongs and become an ordinary pleb!? – Day Admin)