Like most of us haven’t been away for for eighteen months so booked a week in the sun.

My return flight was early morning so no time for breakfast, bought a chicken pesto and pine nut sandwich at the airport for the flight home.

As we were taxiing down the runway the stewardess informed us that there was a passenger onboard with a severe nut allergy so please don’t open any food we had containing nuts,

Well fuck me one person can starve the rest of the passengers. I’m allergic to screaming fucking kids, large people taking two fucking seats, people in front of me reclining their seats for no reason, people walking up and down the aisle all the fucking time, but I tolerate it.

It seems the minority rule, one person doesn’t like a statue pull it down, doesn’t like a telly programme cancel it, allergic to anything it everyone else’s fault. Well fuck the cunts.

By the way sandwich was fucking lovely.

Nominated by: Elecuntrian

‘Batters’ and forcing women’s cricket onto fans

What do you call Geoff Boycott, Graham Gooch and Joe Root?

If you said ‘batsmen’ you’d be wrong. They’re called ‘batters’ now so as not to offend da wimminz.

No cunt watches wimminz cricket. They had to stop the Kia 20/20 wimminz League on sky as the sponsorship was cancelled. No cunt was interested, despite it being rammed down our throats.

Instead, they now put the wimminz games on before the men’s (in the same ground) for that ‘100’ shite. Basically, forcing everyone to watch the cunts.

Fuck off! Nobody fucking cares!

Stop forcing this shit on people!

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Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

An ‘is anybody there’ cunting for some luvvie fucker called Kristen Stewart.

”Diana’s spirit gave me the sign-off to portray her in film, claims Kristen Stewart”

”Asked whether she had ever had a paranormal encounter, she added: “No. But I felt some spooky, spiritual feelings making this movie. Even if I was just fantasising. I felt like there were moments where I kind of got the sign-off.”

”Saying she would “fully break down” two or three times a week after remembering she was dead, Stewart added: “I just could not come to terms with it, because I was fighting to keep her alive every single day.”

Fuck me drunk. The spirit of the Princess of Hearts kinda gave the sign off. For a fucking soap opera.

Her spirit is certainly alive and well. Kinda.

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Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

A nomination for the weird phenomenon of grown men trying desperately to appeal to the youth, AKA the borderline nonce.

Many of those on here who have used social media or watched YouTube, or encountered them through general internet use, know these fuckers.

Usually low level public sector administrator, part-timer or involved in social work/education. Active on Twitter.. frequent user of filters for profile pictures.
Wispy facial hair, married the first enormous farm animal to pay him any romantic attention, lists pronouns in the profile. Likes TikTok, Frozen, Billy Eilish and Harry Potter but not J.K. Rowling as she’s a ‘transphobe’.

Doesn’t like; the taste of beer, smell of engine oil, lifting things or the summer/beaches. The saying ‘Man up’

Often treats the missus to a nice meal if he has vouchers for Domino’s. Doesn’t see the big deal with property ownership. Doesn’t drive and has never taken lessons, despite being in his late 30s.

Wears clothes worn by teenagers. Can’t afford/endure a decent tattoo so has an embarrassing blob of ink on his pale soft shoulder/flabby chest that was supposed to be Spider-Man’s mask. Votes Lib Dem

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

( ** Be aware that if you use the word “nonce” in your follow-up comments, they’re liable to end up in the mod queue. Best find alternatives. Thanks – Day Admin)

£370 million of taxpayer’s money to do up Liz’s second home.
Prince Charles allegedly selling Honours to dodgy businessmen to fund doing up another of his houses.

Prince ( I’m just too honourable)Andrew hiding out in another of Mummy’s homes like a shoplifter hiding under the bed on some Council Estate when the Police come knocking.

…..and,of course, Prince Fucking- Harry. (We have a nom for this fuckwit, and one for faux royal Sarah Ferguson due to go live in the next few days – Day Admin)

Time to call time on the venal parasites,once and for all.

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Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler