Those Bloody Fucking Annoying Huel Adverts

I do enjoy a bit of YouTube but as everyone knows their adverts are increasingly more and more irritating. Lately the Grammarly ads have eased off and instead I’m regularly punched in the head about some shite called ‘Huel’.

Huel say “You could save five hours a week by just replacing Monday to Friday lunches with Huel” and they say its ‘healthy’ and everything a body needs. Basically they’re flogging Meals Ready to Eat which you need because of your busy lifestyle.

Somebody on the Huel forum said of their Mac N Cheese “It tastes like mac and cheese that was made in a lab or something. Its just not edible in my opinion. ”

MREs are completely understandable in a survival or military operation situation not because of your busy lifestyle. Pathetic.

Nominated by Cuntologist

Professor Chris Whitty (3)

Whitty -WTF

Here is an idiotic fucker of the highest order!

Is anybody still listening to this twat? I thought it was about time he popped his head above the parapet again after being so quiet, now that we have all “got back to normal”. I concluded a long time ago that it was probably not the politicians that were trying to dictate to me what a could and could not do in my own home – but it was the “men in white coats”. If I wanted anyone to dictate to me like that – I would move to North Korea.

If I had my way, this fucking alien would be in prison for fucking up the lives of millions of families, severely affecting our schoolkids, destroying hundreds of thousands of small businesses – all for what? Apparently saving 300 lives (govt own figures – restrictions made a 0.2% difference to mortality rate, 0.2% of 150 000 deaths = 300 deaths). And the figures also suggest that the 300 lives “saved” would probably all have died soon from something else anyway (re. average age).

New strain worse than Omicron? Has he not listened recently? We have been told that it should more rightly been named Omicold! And probably is a good vaccine in its right. Future lockdowns? The man is demented. Somebody please lock him up – or at least remove him from circulation.

This twat is a waste of oxygen.

Nominated by: Cassandra

Seconded by: Spanky Mc Spank

I’d second that with a Whitless cunting for our old friend Covid tacked on.

It seems that the misery in Eastern Europe is no longer depressing enough for the MSM and they are now getting back on the dreaded covid bandwagon and pushing it hard.

I’ve heard quite a bit on the radio lately about “rising levels” “hospital admissions” and even new variants that don’t even exist. Seems they are determined to keep pushing this one but I think Boris and all his loser pals would find it a pretty hard sell now unless it’s like the fucking T Virus or something.

Fuck Covid, Fuck Whitty and his trouser lining pals and fuck the whole scamdemic…it can suck my cock.

Holding In Farts

We’ve all been there. Holding in a fart at work or when on a date. Maybe at a funeral. Or a job interview.

Well, it seems you should just let rip because holding in farts can put you in hospital. Some Brazilian ‘model’ (nice body but has tats so I’d rather have a wank) was too shy to parp in front of her boyfriend and ended up in hospital. Mind you, some birds might end up that way too if they fart in front of their man (if he’s a cunt).

I once held in a huge fart after scoring with an absolute fucking stunner in my younger years. Natural blonde, perfect body, really bonnie face. We ended up at her house after the club closed and got down to some serious foreplay on her sofa. She then led me to her bedroom and got into bed. I could’ve snapped bricks in half on me nob at that point. Anyway I had this massive fart building up and it was hurting (obviously didn’t tell her this). I asked where her loo was. She said next door. I soon realised the shitter had thin walls and was within a few feet of the headboard. I could hear her move in bed. I realised I couldn’t let it go and just flushed, washed my hands and got into bed.

But I was in so much pain by now that I couldn’t do it. I ended up leaving, telling her I was ill (sort of true). I got a taxi and by now needed a big shit too. I got home just in time. I let rip and it ended up being a massive silent one with no shite at all. I was devastated. But I bet if I’d tried to let it go at her house, it would’ve set off car alarms for miles around. She didn’t bother seeing me again when I called her a few days later, unsurprisingly.

Yes, having to hold in farts is a horrible thing, but having your lady let rip or even sell her farts (yes, the link includes some tart doing this too) isn’t ideal either.


Nominated by Cuntybollocks

Just Stop Oil (2)

Just Stop Oil, or I’ll zip tie myself to a post!!

Brilliant idea!

As an alternative to the usual oil powered transport, we can simply use our dragons.

That’s after we’ve trained them, of course.

What kind of fucking fantasy world do these certifiable loons live in?

Anyway, did anyone have the same thought I did, when I saw the header in the news report of these fools?

Nominated by Jeezum Priest

Pavement Parkers

Here you go, a nice inoffensive non-racial, non-sexual, non-Ukraine, big standard vanilla cunting.

Pavement parkers are outright cunts, for whom I would make the tariff for the offence instant death. Every day, I walk the hounds along a road at the back of the High Road and invariably have to walk in the road due to cunts parked on the pavement. The fact that I am having to walk rather than drive is due to the fact the Merc has had another fucking hissy fit and gone wrong again (suspension this time). Mercedes will get their own special cunting in due course.

What really gets my goat is the half-arsed attempt to park part-way on the pavement and part-way on the road. FFS, why inconvenience both drivers and pedestrians? Apparently, the council can do nothing about pavement parking – the rules in London mean pavement parking is illegal, but not in the sticks. So, the silly cunts can give you a ticket if you are on a yellow line, but not if you are parked full on the pavement. Even worse are the fucking women (always women) who park on the pavement with hazard lights on and go and get a coffee. We also had a lovely bot of grass with daffs and crocuses – what happens? Yep, fucking vans, 4x4s and those cunting pick up trucks (with names like Warrior, Small Dick, Barbrian and the like) park all over it and it’s now a mudbath.

I know it is hard to park, but these cunts have no fuckign consideration for anyone but themselves.

Nominated by Lord Cuntingford