Martyn Smith

Apologies for the image quality, it’s quite hard to find a good picture of the cunt.

A cunting for the despicable motherfucking cunt who is, and I’d rather type, ‘Was’, Martyn Smith.

Who? This Gold-Plated Cunt stabbed two paramedics who attended his house following a call to check on his welfare.

He stabbed one in the chest and the other in the back as he ‘Exited’ the building. Fortunately, the police were also in attendance and arrested the cunt, and, also caught the attack on their bodycams.

It is a sobering watch as the poor bastards attend what should be a routine call and are confronted with this. Also, the sentence handed out for stabbing two of my green colleagues? NINE fucking years. Yeah, that told him….

Nominated by – DCI Gene Cunt

Getting old (2)

Just have your Grandson win a golden ticket you’ll be out of bed in no time.

So getting old is a cunt,

A little back ground, I used to do “stuff” I would carry my body weight run for miles, shoot shit I even got medals for it and now.

Well the not walking bit I got used to, now I have a bit of a belly. I can still see my cock ( it fires dairy lea now and not cottage cheese, but that’s another story).

My eyes are fucked!, I can see in the distance better than most but some of the things I buy in the supermarket are not quite I expected when I get them home. In fact I seem to have transformed into one of those old codgers from a meet the regiment reunion.

The Mrs has IBS, so I thought she would be a bit understanding, last month we went on a dog walk, I cant walk that fast any more but dropped lots of hints, we need to go home (hint fucking hint).

So almost at the door.. finish line I just said, well I have shit myself now so it does not matter ( fortunately not past cheeks), she suggested that after 10 years together that we need to stop “sharing these things” but fuck it, if she can turn round due to IBS why do I have to do a slow motion BFT when I am not feeling so good?
This getting old business is not playing well with me.

Nominated with far too much information that I personally wished to read at this time of day by – lord benny(not quite deceased, but close)

Angela Rayner (5)

Open your hearts or your legs for a red rosette cunting for the skanky MP and recently “sacked” wimminz who now has three jobs gifted by Keiro the Clown:

As with the knee photo both eyes firmly fixed on the media

So refusing to take the knee and saying why is now regarded as “waycisr”

Imagine the state of this country if this old whore ever gets her shitty fingers on the levers of power.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs 

Gary Lineker (16)

Do I need to actually add a caption to this?

Its just been revealed the Linekunt took a 400 grand pay cut. Goodness me the crispy old cunt must really be on the breadline now, Tuesday’s report showed he earned £1.36m in the 2020/21 financial year, down from £1.75m.

It really must be a struggle making ends meet for the jug eared arse.

To think mine, yours, our license fee goes on paying “stars” such as this, this much money on a public broadcasting service boils my piss.

Not to mention Zoe “i only got jobs because of my Daddy” Ball on over £1m as well.

Fuck Al-Beebira, fuck the Linekunt…the only thing that can stay thats associated with him is a bag of Walkers.

Prawn cocktail or roast chicken preferably.

Fuck off FA Cup tabs.

Nominated by: GeneralZod 

John McAfee

Don’t install this. get a proper anti-virus.

Not the person per se (although he was insane) or even his bloated pile of shit software that slows down your computer and does fuck all. The guy posted some weird “I’ll never top myself” content days before apparently killing himself.

Now I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but when it takes you a few days to find a ‘suicide note’ hidden in… his pocket that’s a bit odd. Eccentric billionaire suicides in prison? Hmm not heard that one before *cough* Epstein *cough*.

Something seems odd about this and I don’t know why, besides the whole suicide note and claiming he would’t do that days before. I can’t quite put my finger on it…

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits