Call me a soppy fuckwit, but I like a good charidee football match. Former pro’s in middle age showing they’ve still got it and the odd famous face maybe showing a bit of class. Soccer aid should therefore be right up my strasse, but is invariably ruined by multiple examples of cuntitude.
Robbie Williams, the great pretender. Pretending he’s Alf Ramsey for 90 minutes and still pretending he’s heterosexual. All this whilst banging on about how he alone came up with this vanity project and should be lauded thus.
Alex fucking Scott (Again!!) bouncing around pitch side like a 12 year old. Dermot O’Growly with his personality free presenting skills and Micah Richards, still blissfully unaware that he is employed as a token and nothing else.
The sleb players, of mostly indifferent quality, loving every minute of their chance to self promote, make the ex pro footballers look like paragons of humility. The only good thing to come out of this wankfest was the irrefutable evidence that wimminz footballers are inadequate in every respect and were, basically, shown up to a degree where even I felt embarrassed for them. Still, never mind love. There’s always shirts in need of ironing.
Nominated by – Field Marshal Cuntgomery