Soccer Aid (It’s called Football for normal people)

Couldn’t find a pic of someone crippling James Corden, sadly.

Call me a soppy fuckwit, but I like a good charidee football match. Former pro’s in middle age showing they’ve still got it and the odd famous face maybe showing a bit of class. Soccer aid should therefore be right up my strasse, but is invariably ruined by multiple examples of cuntitude.

Robbie Williams, the great pretender. Pretending he’s Alf Ramsey for 90 minutes and still pretending he’s heterosexual. All this whilst banging on about how he alone came up with this vanity project and should be lauded thus.

Alex fucking Scott (Again!!) bouncing around pitch side like a 12 year old. Dermot O’Growly with his personality free presenting skills and Micah Richards, still blissfully unaware that he is employed as a token and nothing else.

The sleb players, of mostly indifferent quality, loving every minute of their chance to self promote, make the ex pro footballers look like paragons of humility. The only good thing to come out of this wankfest was the irrefutable evidence that wimminz footballers are inadequate in every respect and were, basically, shown up to a degree where even I felt embarrassed for them. Still, never mind love. There’s always shirts in need of ironing.

Link to the “all star” lineup

Nominated by – Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Tax On Pensions (A Rant)

My Mother in law received a tax demand from HMRC just a few days ago suggesting she owes just under £2k in unpaid tax for the current FY. This came as a bit of a bombshell only weeks after losing her husband to cancer.

But on closer detail its all legit because she not only receives a state pension, but also an NHS pension, and her husband’s private pension. Add them all together and it amounts to more than her personal allowance of something like £12500 pa, and therefore is liable for tax at 20%

What she didn’t realise due to how the tax demand letter was set out was that she only owes 20% of that £1900, which still means a demand of about £380. Not as bad but to her mind still quite annoying. (Unfortunately she’s not always rational, and is sometimes hot headed when she sees shit like this when living alone.)

Even though she is 70 and has worked for something like 45 years, paying income tax and of course NICs, she is still hit with tax demands. I realise this affects every retired pensioner with a taxable income, but it really is a kick in the balls to think that paying into pension pot(s) for a comfortable retirement still means being fucked over by the Taxman.

Moreover, what really pissed her off with the news of her sister, who is a year younger, has only worked for about 10 years in her entire life, receives a very small state pension, but is topped up with a number of benefits, which are not liable for tax – benefits that almost equate or perhaps even surpasses what my MiL receives on her state pension alone! (I can’t validate if any of that is actually true though.)

She wasn’t happy about that, but then when she watches the news and learns about how Afghan refugees and dinghy migrants are handsomely treated via the Taxpayer, it just puts her into a vile rage, spouting the usual statements about “I’ve worked for 40 odd years, paid my taxes, and then get stung for a tax demand to fund these bastards!”

And it pisses her off even more at the thought of having to sell her home to pay for residential care purely because she’s a home owner (after 26 years paying a mortgage for  her current home) and has some savings, all of which could take her over the means-tested threshold!

The working classes that live within their means, take responsibility and earn a crust for 30+ years, get fucked over again and again.

Nominated by – Technocunt

The Shortage of HGV Lorry Drivers

Best I could do, sorry.

From Yvette Cooper’s favourite built-up shoes, and “Junior MIss” fashion range, to my favourite jam to your favourite whatever, to (according to Anna Soubry, who is crawling back into the limelight, following her recent Wireless 4 “Any Questions” appearance), – IKEA furniture, to Eddie Izzard’s favourite brand of pink lipstick, everything is in short supply, due to “a shortage of lorry drivers”.

The latest, and certainly, potentially most dangerous – even more so than Dame Keir’s favourite moisturiser – is the flu injections for the elderly and health impaired:


Of course, the BBC, the Guardian, Daily Mirror (Starmer’s favourite arse wipe) and Independent like to pin this purely on Brexit, as does Lord Nancy Andrew Adonis,who Twitters constantly about it. Another chance to Brexit bash – how this explains the USA’s shortage of lorry drivers, I can’t imagine. Perhaps when she closes her mouth and her legs, Soubry can enlighten us.

In the case of flu injections, I suspect the NHS and Boris are so obsessed about Covid they have fallen down on the flu jab – flu poses a far greater danger to the elderly since, unlike the teenagers (11 to 45 these days) they don’t inhabit the night clubs where Covid and it’s variants are to be found and spread (I have even given up my weekly viists to the Steaming Pussycat Strip Club, which as you know, is in Soho).

I hate to say it but Boris is becoming increasingly lax – as are some of his ministers. We have no opposition party to speak of, so Boris is doing Dame Keir’s work for him as well. Or instead of.

Get your fingers out, Boris, and Ali Baba, or whatever the Health’ Secretaries name is.

Nominated by – W. C. Boggs

Employees – and their ungratefulness

Employees are cunts, as a small business owner employing people is very risky and potentially disastrous for the company especially if they are small.

All sorts of factors have to be taken into consideration, I will give you some examples.
Employing anyone who’s not white, as soo as anything they don’t like happens, more often than not out comes the race card and you get sued, weather your right or wrong.
Employing gays, trannies , rug munchers and all the other bollocks these cunts like to go by (See above virtually the same story)..

Employing jobsworths, contract wavers, lazy fuckers, unreliable fuckers and weak arsed cry babies (I have done this to my detriment and now its family only).

Employing people with disabilities, means ramps, lifts, special toilets and parking spaces.
Employing smokers, means these fuckers spend half the time your paying them for huddled in a glorified bus shelter satisfying their fucking disgusting habit, and then flicking fag butts everywhere.

Employing women, and that brings me to the real reason behind this nom, its a fucking nightmare,and I’m trying not to come over in a sexist way, but following is true, you have all the sexism problems, distracting the workforce, no innuendos and no fun, then they get pregnant and you have to pay them for months and keep their job open for them.

Then when they eventually get back its early finishes, late starts , doctors appointments, strops, moods and generally makes your place of work somewhere you don’t want to be, and if all of this isn’t when they cant get their way they take you to the fucking cleaner, see above link, all that cunt has done is make all women of a certain age less of a good prospect from an employers point of view.

I bet her ex boss would like to slap the grin of her silly face….what a cunty twat, i hope her sprog came out sideways and her snatch is now like a wizards sleeve, and her husband will have to put pie lagging around his cock so it can touch the sides.

Being an employer these days is a fucking minefield with cunts like cowpats at every step. I’m sure any possible future employer for this twat will see that news link and go for anyone else rather than that cunt…..

Nominated – by Fuglyucker


Spencer Elden – Oh well, nevermind

No, we’re not uploading the original pic.

You have all seen Spencer Elden before. He was the baby in the swimming pool from Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album cover, swimming after a dollar bill.

Mr Elden, who is now 30, says he has been so traumatised by this that he is suing Nirvana for damages totalling some $2,250,000 He claims that the image amounts to child pornography and that his parents never signed a formal release for the photo to be used. As a consequence, he says his “true identity and legal name are forever tied to the commercial sexual exploitation he experienced as a minor which has been distributed and sold worldwide from the time he was a baby to the present day”.

Elden claims he “has suffered and will continue to suffer lifelong damages” as a result of the album cover, including “extreme and permanent emotional distress” and “interference with his normal development and educational progress”.

The legal papers filed in California state that “The images exposed Spencer’s intimate body part and lasciviously displayed Spencer’s genitals from the time he was an infant to the present day.” His lawyer says that because of the inclusion of the dollar bill, which was superimposed after the photograph was taken, the minor seems “like a sex worker”.

How this claim makes any sense is beyond me. No one that sees Me Elden today would know that he was the baby and that it was his tickle-tackle on display. But I suppose the fact that his torso is covered with “Nevermind” tattoos could give it away.

Anyone else would be happy to say “I was the baby on the Nevermind album cover”. Mr Elden was happy to recreate the pose on other occasions. The image is obviously not pornographic.

Just another greedy cunt with dollar signs on his eyes.

Never mind the cunt.


Nominated by – MMCM