Jeffrey Marsh – Alphabet Activist

Jeffrey Marsh. Now there’s a perfectly normal-sounding name. There must be a lot of Jeffrey Marshes about. Thousands of them.

But I’d like to draw your attention to one particular Jeffrey Marsh. This Jeffrey is transgender, or binary, or something, and has become a somewhat notorious, some might even say outright offensive figure on soshull meeja. Jeffrey wants to talk to kids privately about their sexuality, away from their parents’ prying eyes.

Yes, s/he/it (shit for short) has created a Patreon account, so that shit can spend ‘connected time’ (what, as opposed to ‘disconnected’ time?) with young people, to let them know that they are ‘worthy’, and ‘valuable’, and that their stories are ‘inspiring’. Oh, and they can pay for the privilege, naturally.

Now I don’t know about you guys, but this all strikes me as deeply dodgy. I’d say that on the old Creepometer rating of nought to ten, shit rates as a definite eleven.
‘I want to spend more connected time with you’. In private. Yes, I bet you do.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Just don’t get the pronouns wrong. That would make you one of those nasty, nasty transphobes, and Jeffrey wouldn’t like that.

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(More info here. Day Admin – Daily Citizen News Link)

Self Checkout Chuggers (4)

Now I began to notice this last year at Tesco’s when using the self service machines.

I have finished scanning my items, time to pay, up pops would you like to donate to said charity. Your total has been rounded up to the nearest pound, press yes or no.

Is there no escape from this anymore, tv is full of commercials give money to this or that.

I wonder how many people have accidentally hit yes?

I don’t know about other supermarkets doing this but I suppose its just a matter of time.

Mr Tesco can I just pay for my shopping in peace please.

Essex Live

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

Emal Kochai – Deported Afghan Rapist

Emal Kochai is a cunt, isn’t he

Who’s this swarthy-looking creep? He’s an Afgan who was 15 years old when he arrived in the UK and was eventually taken in by a foster family in Berkshire. In 2014, he was jailed after being found guilty of raping a 12-year-old girl in Reading.and was returned to Afghanistan in 2019 having served only half of his nine-year sentence.

He has somehow managed to make it all the way back to Northern France after presumably turning up his nose at every safe country along the way. Last week, he tried to board a dinghy, but was thwarted. It’s only a matter of time before he’s setting foot on British soil again.

What a journey: From raping a 12-year-old schoolgirl to a heated hotel swimming pool.

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

(Perhaps Gary Lineker could look after him for a couple of years? – Day Admin)

Jack Johnson (2) – David Beckham Wannabe

(Johnson is on the right just in case you couldn’t spot the difference – Day Admin)

Driving Mr. David.

Does this bellend, despite umpteen surgical and cosmetic procedures, look anything like David Beckham?

It’s a change from the overly tattooed, split-tongued, horned head/noseless/cropped eared cunts I like to share with you, but my God, he must have hamsters whirling the wheel in the cavity where his brain would normally be. What an utter fucking cunt.

(Thanks to Viz)

Derby Telegraph

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Cadbury’s Creme Eggs

Cadbury’s Creme Eggs are absolutely revolting. I can attest to this, having just taken a bite out of one for the first and (I hasten to add) last time in my life.

The wife and I had just finished a superb fish supper each, as she calls it, and had settled back with a cuppa. ‘Do you want a creme egg?’ says she. ‘No thanks’ says I, ‘I hate them’. ‘But you’ve never tried one, so how can you know?’ she comes back.

Now I’ll admit that there’s logic in this, although in response, I’ll state that my decision is based on the mere look of the things. Anyway, for some reason I can’t really fathom, this time I said ‘oh go on then, throw one over’.

I really wish that I hadn’t. One bite was enough. Cadbury’s chocolate normally isn’t bad, but the choc shell on this egg didn’t taste like Cadbury’s; it tasted like a sort of grainy plastic as it melted. As for the inside… a sickly, icky goo, with the texture of toothpaste mixed with too much sugar. Much too much sugar.

‘Yccccch!’ was my immediate response, as I fled to spit this abomination out. ‘I take it you’re not impressed then’ says the missus upon my return.

Impressed? Fuck me, do people actually pay for this shit?

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Nominated By: Ron Knee