Spacca Cyclists (at the Commonwealth Games)


Spacca cyclists.

The Commonwealth Games have started and, unlike the Olympics, the spaccas have their go while the proper athletes do their thing. I sort of have no iss … well actually I have many.

There was a Norn Iron swimmer interviewed last week in the build up and she has a learning difficulty and therefore is able to get a spacca qualification. To summarise, she has problems with her short short term memory. Right, so she’s a bit dim, which is why she is not an elite swimmer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethany_Firth

But what what really got my my goat was the tandem sprint/time trial. If you’re blind what the fuck are you doing on a bike? And I’m assuming the Gordon Brown is on the back, not on the front. One of these non-seeing fuckers had a lead rider who was twice the size of him. How the fuck does that work?

Raspberry fucking cunts.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

55 thoughts on “Spacca Cyclists (at the Commonwealth Games)

    • That’s bloody shameful, SamB.
      Can’t you get compo?
      I’m sure hurty words must have been said, anything up to 10 years ago, or longer if you have jug ears and an embarrassing goatee.

  1. She’s got an OBE, an all!
    Fucking Hell, my short term memory is shot, can I have an OBE for services too… sorry, lost the thread there!
    Oh yes, must add marmalade to the shopping list, thanks for reminding me!
    You did remind me, didn’t you?
    Now, where are my keys!

  2. Tandem sprint, rear gunner to pilot ‘have you farted you dirty cunt’

    Pilot to rear gunner ‘oops sorry thought you had no sense of smell’

    • Dianne fitted a brass knocker to her front door.
      She was hoping to be nominated for the No-bell prize award.

      Don’t worry….I’ve got my coat.

  3. Some of them have robot parts,
    Bionic legs an Terminator arms .

    Its a unfair advantage!

    Fuckin Robocop on the field.
    Their only weakness is magnets and rust.

    Fuckin metal mickeys.

    • That sarf afrikan murderer, Oscar pistolwhip has bionic velociraptor legs.
      Capable of leaping 12ft and speeds of upto 87mph.

      What idiot gave them to a murderer?!!

      May as well give OJ simpson predator cloaking ability and claws like wolverine.

      Its a travesty.

    • Evenin’ Mis.

      We should go to the Spaccà games armed with a suitcase full of large magnets.

      They would be bionic legs and spàstic chariots flying everywhere. Servos blowing up, and ECU’s peppering the crowd.

      I reckon that they should do the wheelchair racing on the M5 in rush hour traffic. It would liven it up a bit.

      • Evening DVD👍

        Dont get em up kinder Scout do you?!

        No .
        A oasis for the able bodied.
        A sanctuary from the cyborgs.

  4. There was one on the telly the other day. In one of those weird spaz chariots they have with the tiny front wheel. Apparently he was winning whatever rave it was but got a puncture. I pissed myself laughing, should have popped some slime in the tyres, I bet he does now.

  5. Short term memory loss I definitely qualify , walk into the kitchen and can’t remember why I have gone on there but I can remember song lyrics from the ‘)0 & 70’s

    • Dementia’s fucking horrible.

      “Who are you”?

      “Paramedic”

      “Where am I”?

      “In the back of an ambulance, you’ve fallen and hurt youself”

      “Where are we going”?

      “Hospital”.

      “Who are you”?

      “Paramedic”

      Ad infinitum, all the way to hospital. I’m not that much of a cunt to start sticking random stuff in, either, like “I’m Darth Vader”. Ex-matron, too.

    • You’re lucky. I often get out of my chair and can’t remember where the fuck I was meant to be going, never mind why. It’s got to the stage where, if I am in a room, I’ll have a think if there is anything useful I can do while I’m there.

      • “It’s got to the stage where, if I am in a room, I’ll have a think if there is anything useful I can do while I’m there.”

        😆 indeed, I understand where you’re coming from.

  6. Bethany Firth, you say?
    Short term memory problems, you say?
    If I was to pay her a visit then and manage to have sex with her, I could not only steal money from her too, but she’d wonder 30 minutes later “why does my bumhole hurt so much?”

      • A deviant could set up a dating website for sufferers of severe short term memory loss.

        They could then set up a fake profile (Tom Cruise’s photo from his 20s in Top Gun – the women with memory loss would have forgotten who he is) and say that they’re a fighter pilot.

        Say you’ve got agrophobia too so must meet at their home where it’s quiet. Only select the hot looking ones and do whatever you like because they’ll forget…

        …the fact I’ve thought all this through is fucking disturbing lol.

      • Although the admin would be a nightmare, as they’d all continually forget their passwords.

  7. I’ve often thought these sporting cripples are wasting their talents…or perhaps have been let off too lightly.

    Imagine gladiatorial games via PPV with these cheating cunts on the main card..

    Blind cunt on a bike vs 12 savages from the wastes of Libya.

    wheelchair high jumper vs Romanian brown bear

    Jamaican swimming team vs Syrian bladed chariot cohort

    Deaf crown green bowlers vs drunken Praetorian Guard stag do

    Come on BBC stop shagging children and put the games on,live from the Blue Peter garden,you fucking vermin.

    Lovely.

  8. How do you reconcile the vast differences and degrees of “diabilities”.
    If I’m missing a couple fingers can I be a cyclist in these games?
    The whole thing is to give the “challenged” a challenge.
    Whatever.

  9. Spaccas and Mongs would be better off if they put their efforts into getting better and making a useful contribution to society…the benefit-funded lifestyle has become too easy for too many. People who have a job can’t spend hours a day getting pushed/pulled/bounced/towed/dribbled/launched around athletics tracks by some Govt-funded “helper”..so why should these “elite” cripples get to spend their days frightening and upsetting the unwary with their unnatural contortions?

    I wouldn’t let them just idle their days away….I’d set the upright ones to work as traffic-bollards and make the motorised ones work as miniature steam train engines at amusement parks.

    • Or practice dummies for learning CPR.

      Im supporting the midgets in this.
      I love those little fuckers.

      It improves sport no end,
      Makes anything more fun.

      “Everythings better with a midget”
      Ian Krankie

      • Imagine all the appalling filth the Krankies got up to 30 years ago. The Rose and Fred West of light entertainment.
        In 1984, during a break in filming “Cheggers Plays Pop”, the hapless Keith Chegwin was once forced at knifepoint by Wee Jimmy Krankie to lick her out whilst Ian Krankie lashed them both with a bamboo garden cane.
        It’s what turned poor Keith into an alcoholic and caused Maggie Philbin to receive an accidental vomit facepack a couple of times a year after Keith barfed whilst asleep next to her.

      • Bravo Thomas,bravo indeed.

        The next time Mrs Terry is up on bricks that will provide sufficient wank material.

        How splendidly sordid!

    • I used to work on a Benefits Agency reception years ago, and among the regular staff were somebody with one eye, somebody on two walking sticks and somebody else whose asthma was so severe they used to spend half of the week on a nebulizer, they also had severe curvature of the spine, all good workers nonetheless. The scrotes who came in would bang on at them and abuse them about their own self inflicted problems without a trace of irony.

      • A Benefits Agency?

        Good grief it’s no wonder this country is a basket case.

        A liars charter.

        Gas them.

      • Evening MH…as an severe asthma sufferer (perfectly fine as long as I take my brown inhaler and keep up my strict exercise regime) I have nevertheless been nebulised a few times, twice I was very close to death.
        It’s fucking incredible, going from being as grey as a zombie from oxygen deprivation to instant oxygen saturation. You start shaking like Michael J. Fox having a benny whilst being electrocuted!

      • Terry, my late father was a very practical man and full of good ideas, one of which was any waiting room full of sponging arseholes could be quickly and efficiently cleared by a judicious application of flame thrower. Imagine the savings for the tax payer.

      • Took me ages to find it.

        I always miss all the fun. He’ll be posting here within a month.

        The Southgate thing sounds mental. Is he escaping before we all start wondering why we haven’t heard anything in the media about the case? Or is he telling the truth?

        We’ll know when the news tells us (or doesn’t tell us) about the court case and Southgate is sacked.

        I want it to be true tbh. I’m not holding my breath on seeing Southgate sacked because of Vern, but I live in hope.

  10. Well nommed, DKC.
    I’ve not laughed so much since Aunt Ethel farted and followed through at Uncle Sids funeral.
    Cheers!

    • That’ll be Tom Daley who won’t be able to walk after he’s been bummed into the middle of next week by his pervert “husband” and half a dozen of their hunkiest house guests.
      With his aquatic ability, at least Michael Barrymore might have more trouble drowning our Tom (after violently assaulting him) than he did that poor Lubbock fellow.

    • That’ll be Tom Daley who won’t be able to walk after he’s been bummed into the middle of next week by his pėrvért “husband” and half a dozen of their hunkiest house guests.
      With his aquatic ability, at least Michael Barrymore might have more trouble drowning our Tom (after violently assaulting him) than he did that poor Lubböck fellow

      • I’m waiting for Tom ‘gang-bang’ Daley to let one rip on that board.

        He will follow though for sure. They will be an almighty gurgle as his skimpy shitstained bathers fail to contain the liquified mixture of poo poo and twenty loads of jizz.

        It will run down his leg like melted Caramac.

        I hope your enjoying your breakfasts?

      • Yes, TTCE. Pools and pôöfters are not a good mix.

        You’d have to use plenty of chorine too. Would be allsorts floating around.

  11. If only the US hadn’t gone all uppity in the 1770’s Joe Biden could have gone for gold, still never mind eh?

    Disabled sport is much more popular than some cunters seem to think. Here in the seaside town on the northeast coast everyday you can watch the cripple carriage F1, convoys of the cunts driving on main roads with no fucks given. Some of the more hardcore racers prefer the mobility scooter mayhem action. Mowing down fat cunts from Leeds on the pavements with the level of disdain usually reserved for Katie Prices growler.

    However I do see opportunities for older able bodied sports people. Instead of retiring why not identify as trans disabled? Extend your career by decades!

  12. Footballers not ‘Taking the knee’???

    Well, the message didn’t get through to Fulham and Liverpool, at least, as they were first up on Match Of The Day, and….the cunts were kneeling. Gary ‘Schwartzer’ Lineker and Oprah Winfrey must have had a lazy lob on. Alan Shearer, in my opinion, isn’t impressed. I could be wrong.

    When will this utter, contemptible shite stop??

    • And second game, the cunts have that shrieking, dolphin-voiced tart, Robyn ‘Voice For Subtitles’ Cowan, commentating.

      BBC, spawns of fucking Satan.

  13. That Tani Gray Thompson said what I’ve been saying for years the other day about wheelchair racing.

    Wheelchair racing is all about the wheelchair. She said it costs up to 40 grand for a top of the range racing wheelchair. It’s getting like F1. These ‘athletes’ don’t get much (if any) sponsorship so unless you’re minted, you’ve got no chance. Some athletics boards pay for them (I think we do in some cases) but the Africunts et al can’t afford all that shit.

    Therefore, these ,’heroic’ wheelchair racers with their ‘8 gold medals’, probably only won them because they were driving a Ferrari, while the rest were in Austin Allegroes.

    And having the spaccas alternate their events with the normal ones is sneaky and potentially dangerous. They seem to have picked and chosen a select few spacca categories.

    There are fucking loads of them and more keep getting added. It’s the main reason for the Spaccalympics. If the spaccas complain that they want all of their categories allowed in the ‘normal’ Commonwealth Games, the event will take about 8 weeks to get through lol.

    It’s all part of the inclusive agenda. Seems a nice idea but not if it’s forced. It’s started in the cricket by putting wimmin’z games on just before the men’s (the hundred). You don’t know exactly how long the wimminz game will last, so it forces people to watch at least some substandard wimminz cricket.

    Sky, BT and the BBC are all trying to outwoke each other it seems. Soon, they’ll alternate the wimminz matches with the men’s. Example if Man Utd are playing Liverpool they’ll toss a coin about ten minutes before kick off to decide who goes first. Let’s say the women win the toss. Man Utd and Liverpool women will then play their first half. Then, the men will play their first half.

    Ridiculous? Wait and see a season or two and then tell me that.

    They are determined to force this shit down your necks.

    They can fuck off.

  14. And yes, that tandem normie/spacca combo is mental.

    Huge bloke on the front and Walter Softy on the back. Then, when they win the commentator only mentions the spacca’s name.

    Get to fuck, it was that huge mule on the front doing a the work.

    Want to impress me? Have the blind ones race together down a mountain path.

    Fuck off you’d watch it!

    • I bet it’s nearly as hilarious as watching poor Umboko M’wengweh cycling 5 miles every day on a bike with only one peddle, no brakes and a wonky wheel.

  15. In my younger days, I used to work in a record shop (the excellent but now sadly gone Vibes Records in Bury). Anyroad, this cunt who had a white stick and claimed to be blind used to come in. And one day he propped his supposed sight aid up against the wall and he rifled through the record racks. I thought I’d try getting this twat, so I said nonchantly.’Which one have you got there, mate?’ To which, the cunt replied,’Genesis’. True enough, it was Genesis (‘Abacab’), but it wasn’t Genesis in braille. So, I had the fucker, bang to rights. The cunt basically used the white stick to jump queues, get money from passers by, and get a seat on crowded buses. A complete cunt.

  16. Anyone else see that African personage (you have to be tactful, don’t you?😉) who is apparently blind and runs races with a guide alongside him? Well, my thought was this: if the guide is as fast as the blind bloke (if not faster?), then why doesn’t he enter the races himself and hoover up the glory, the medals, the fanny (unless he’s a pillow biter) and the money? I fucking hate do-gooders. Cunts….

    Also, why not just run as you are if you can’t see? Why wear a big fuck off Lone Ranger mask with no holes in it?🤔

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