Revenge

Ever seeker revenge for a slight to you?
Revenge is meant to be sinful,
But I think it’s completely natural,
A settling of the score,
Natural justice,
To take revenge is normal.

Ever seen the film Jeremiah Johnson?
Starred Robert Redford as a mountain man in the Old West.

Well it’s based on ‘liver eater Johnson ‘ a real mountain man.
Over 25years he waged war on the crow tribe who had killed his wife.
Johnson killed over 300 crow warriors and scalped them and ate their livers.

Now that’s revenge.
And also cannibalism, but you get the idea .

What revenge have fellow cunters exacted ?

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

(More info about the Liver Eater here, Day Admin – Liver Eater Johnson )

78 thoughts on “Revenge

  1. “You will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee”.

    No problem getting served inth pub.

    Cheers!

  2. Liver Eater Johnson lived to the age of 75 which was damn good for those days. Eatcher livver sonny as my dad used to say. Clearly a regular meal of liver is very healthy and a good diet so is to be recommended.

  3. Jeremiah Johnson is without doubt my favourite Robert Redford film. The character Swan his wife who along with the boy Caleb died at the hands of The Crows. I always believed they tried to kill Jeremiah because he was a white man. Great film from a time when great films were made. Mind you have you seen Top Gun: Maverick? Its the best thing I’ve seen since Midway (2019).

    • Technocunt@ Afternoon Techno – the original film called “Manhunter” with Brian Cox (the actor not the soyboy planet fondler) is far superior to the tripe that Anthony Hopkins was in.

  4. Revenge is a perfectly natural human emotion. I have a list of people who have done me right in my life and another list for those who have not and when I want to be I can be very, very bloody minded – not towards good people, only those who deserve it.
    Vengeance is a rebalancing of the scales.
    Jeremiah Johnson is a top film! 👍

  5. Modded twice?
    Fuck this – I will post again tomorrow.
    I FUCKING HATE WORDPRESS!!

    (It really is odd because I don’t see what happened back there. Anyway, your comments are back. Day Admin)

      • LL@ – WordPress currently having its teeth painfully and slowly extracted in a lonely farm building in deepest Yorkshire..
        Can’t beat a good pair of pliers! 😀👍
        Given my list I will have to live to a thousand to get through it!

  6. I don’t do revenge just do what I like.
    The only rules laws I follow are those I choose.
    Fuck any Cunt that tries to impose their will ways laws etc on me.
    Ignore berate fuck em off or if need be get the first blow in hard and with bad intentions.
    Last resort but do not let any Cunt get the first act of hostility in ever.

  7. As to revenge almost too many instances to mention. One I was quite proud off in the ’60s was finding a Citroen Dyane with gold plated headlights and a fur roof parked up outside a nightclub in Chelsea. The black dude driver (none other than Jimmi Hendrix) wearing a black beaver fur hat and his tart on ten inch high heels had just sasched and tottered into the premises.
    Noted that the interior and seats were likewise trimmed with fur. Thing is those crappy frog motors had locks made from monkey metal and the key from virtually any other car or just a screwdriver would unlock them. (try it yourself and see)
    There was a school of dossers (or winos/bums as we called them then) out of their heads on blue jake (coal gas bubbled through meths) in a nearby doorway and happily pissing and crapping on each other.
    Unlocked the frog motor with a padlock key I had on me and invited the gentlemen over to come over and sit in the car with a bottle of cheap vodka to keep them happy. Then I locked the doors and waited. Things soon kicked off and the car started bouncing away and one of them turned artistic and began writing on the inside of the windows with dosser crap.
    I was observing the fun from inside a phone box and after a while judged it my civic duty to phone the club and speak to reception. Mr Hendrix and entourage burst out to witness the scene. As I recall they went to pull the dossers out of the car but were somewhat deterred by the vomit, piss and shit. Old Bill was called and Mr Hendrix and entourage went home in a taxi. All very satisfactory.

  8. I once sent a generous Amber Heard in a JiffyBag to someone wot ad got up me shonker.
    Fortunately, the woman on the PO counter didn’t bang the stamp down too hard on it…

    • With today’s dreadful postal system I always recommend writing a return address on the back of any communication in the case of non-delivery.

  9. I did like The Revenant when it came out, incidentally another true story of revenge from the old American West. Tough bastards back then.

  10. Revenge is normal. If some cunt whose robbed you or attacked yo, (or most likely cunts because they only attack in numbers) are too shit scared to act on thier own they should be introduced, one by one, to a baseball bat around the head. Knock the cunts into next year, now that’s revenge.

  11. A pair of cunts shagged my girlfriend when I was away at college (don’t worry, I binned the slattern on hearing this), so I bided my time and eventually shagged their trollop girlfriends. It was a sweet, as their girlfriends were both sisters.
    And no, I didn’t shag them at the same time, though it would have been fun.
    I still chuckle thinking about it.

  12. I find if you wait king enough everyone gets fucked, you don’t need to dirty you hands to watch your enemy suffer, just be patient and observant.

  13. My idea of revenge would be that every noisy bastard cunt who drives by my flat with loud music, heavy revving or loud exhaust, ends up wrapped around the nearest lampost.

    • I find a good squirt of expanding foam will dampen down the sound of a fart cannon, bugger to get out too

  14. There’s no level of petty ,vindictive, childish spitefulness to which I won’t stoop.

    Only today two girls parked their shitty little Audi in my parking space ( which has a big business sign)
    Loads of other places to park they choose the one with a Removals sign.
    So I parked horizontally Infront blocking them from leaving.
    Very hot today!

    The house phone rang an rang.

    After 40minutes I moved the van.
    Fuckin nurses!!

  15. I’m seeking revenge on an orange tomcat who pisses right into the air conditioning vent of my car ALL THE TIME. He also fights with my cats frequently. He pisses on the bottom 12 inches of every bit of my property. I fucking hate this orange scourge. If I get my hands on him I will strangle him while reciting a monolog I have memorized for the occasion:
    “This is a good death. You don’t suffer long and I get satisfaction. Our account is settled. If there is an afterlife for you I wish you the best. You didn’t have to cause me misery but you did. I would have left you alone if you had left me alone. I wish it hadn’t come to this. Good bye you CUNT.”
    I’ll then throw him in a trash bag and put him in the bin.
    Waiting for my chance…

    • Wear Kevlar gloves for the occasion.

      Otherwise it will be painful.

      A feral cat attacked me when I tried to release it after becoming stuck.

      It locked on my arm and then bit through
      my thumb.

      Made a right mess.

      Cats are truly vicious bastards when they want to be.

      • I grabbed a sweet kitten once and it transformed into a whirling satanic dervish of teeth and claws. Finally flung the little cunt under a bush. Blood everywhere

  16. “The Neighbours” planting their shit against my new fence, including a sapling oak tree if you please!

    They did this to pee me off for having the temerity to strip the weedy hedge back to the boundary line, which I was perfectly in my rights to do. The thing is sapling oaks and brambles don’t stand up too well to a generous glug of industrial Roundup, especially after dark.

    Cunts!

  17. Blair. I don’t know where, I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I WILL have my revenge.
    The cunt.

    • You need to get in line behind the families of a million innocent but very dead Iraqi civilians and the entire population of the UK who have English as a first language.

      His armed police protection officers must have the most pant shitting and simultaneously unrewarding job on the planet.

    • In the past I have,in the name of revenge,put people out of business,broken up a marriage,several instances of violence and criminal damage and kicked a cat up the hoop.

      • Dick@

        I KNEW I could count on you to rise to the occasion.

        Well done!👍

    • Well if I lived there I’d tell them the field is haunted by the horrible and revengeful ghost of the feared Sir Fiddler of the Cuntish Face.
      They’d soon fuck off the superstitious Oirish bastards.

      • In days gone by they used to settle petty disputes by pistol dueling. Many a Fiddler sneaked off an early shot to shoot the cunt opposite stone cold dead.

  18. I used to work on this site in Lancashire/almost Yorkshire and I fuckin hated the site manager.
    Truly hated him.
    I’d struggle to keep from kicking his teeth out.
    His nickname was Freddy because he had a tash an Goofy teeth.

    He’d been alright as a worker but got made foreman which went right to his head.

    I used to wipe my bellend all over his brewmug and wipe the sweat of my arse crack on it.

    It was a pleasure to watch him have a brew!

    • Haha brilliant.

      When I was 18/19 I worked in a wood yard. The manager was a Frank Butcher clone, only not as funny. He’d run me about like a right cunt knowing I didn’t have much sway being young and not understanding the crack yet. A right fucking bully when I think about it. Anyway…

      He had this habit of getting me to make the tea but he’d be a right prick about it. “Make me a cup of tea, there’s a good boy” and all that one. What he couldn’t know is that after the first cup I ever made him, every subsequent brew was made up of an eighth of my freshly supplied piss. The best bit that always gave me great satisfaction was watching him while he drained his cup and gave it “ahhhh. That was lovely. Cheers boy”. He genuinely seemed to like my tea!

      Cheers indeed you fat old cunt.

    • Evening/ morning Mis.

      I’d genuinely not read your bellend wiping escapades when I wrote my post below.

      I did exactly the same.

      Nice to know I’m not the only truly deprived bastard on here.

  19. Not really revenge, but karma (which is really revenge by the universe).

    Afghan earthquake: At least 1,000 people killed and 1,500 injured
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-61890804

    I wonder how long it will be before the lefties expect us to give them handouts while conveniently forgetting the amount of aggravation these cunts have given the world via heroin and terrorism?

    Here’s hoping for some aftershocks.

  20. Once in London, I lived next door to some noisy neighbours. They played their music loud and late, and it was that black type that sounds angry and rapey with lots of shouting and swearing and clanging and bashing and rapping.

    To hear it better, I threw a brick through the window.

    • Sorry, had to update the latest headline. Is this a fucking joke?

      “ Afghanistan quake: Taliban appeal for international aid”

      If we help the cunts (and bring them here), I’m moving to Antarctica.

  21. Some bint I worked with at a popular plane manufacturer in Bristol said I was a “sexist piece of shit”. She had a fair point. But, she was fat and ugly so I couldn’t let it lie.
    I’d overheard that she was terrified of clowns, so one day when she went for a cigarette, I had a picture prepared on a usb drive which I set as her desktop background and changed the inactivity timer. When the tart returned to her black screen and touched her mouse, she was greeted with a picture of a terrifyingly evil clown with a speech bubble saying ‘Alice, I’m going to kill you.’
    She screamed the office down!
    But she knew it was me and got pathetic revenge against me a few days later by getting me sent home for wearing an hawaiian shirt. As a contractor, that cunt cost me 2/3rds of a day’s wage.
    So I got her back once and for all. Working on a Sunday in an empty office, I got her picture from personnel, made a speech bubble stating what manager she’d slept with (he was a cunt too) then using CATIA (a 3D modelling program), electronically wrapped her face dozens of times around the A400M landing gear, printed it on a giant banner on the A0 plotter and hung it up for all to see the following morning.
    It went down a storm and I smirked at her all morning then sidled up at lunchtime and said “you want to carry on with this?’
    She didn’t and the knowledge of their affair was very satisfying.
    I don’t know what became of her.
    I hope she killed herself.

  22. A flatmate and cunt I used to live with brought some tramp home to fuck one night and I discovered the bitch went into my room and stole some cash and a shirt (?!!).

    When he was at work a few days later I brushed his toothbrush round my ring-piece and bell end.

    I felt very smug after that.

  23. During the heatwave of 76, one of our neighbours in Newton Heathwas a complete cunt and a nosy old bitch. A horrible woman who hated kids and made up all sorts of crap about her neighbours, including us. So, I got a load of well on the turn sausages and I threw them at all her upstairs windows when she was on holiday. The off sausages stuck and they stayed on her back windows for the whole three weeks. They attracted flies, wasps, rats, and the environmental heath. It felt great to get even with the old witch, as I thought ‘That’ll teach you to say my mum keeps a dirty house, you old slag.’

    • Me and a mate of mine also put a load of fish heads in her shed and all. The bitch was always looking down on others and spreading shit about people. Well, she found out that mud -as well as sausages and fish heads – stick.

  24. Interesting nom this one.

    I consider myself quite principled and disciplined. One principle I live my life by is never to throw the first stone. In other words, don’t go looking for trouble. However, if trouble finds you, confront it full on and take no prisoners. I also don’t believe in forgiveness as I consider it a sign of weakness and basically giving the other party permission to do whatever they did again. And again. And again with no consequences. I also hold grudges and never forget when I’ve been wronged.

    What has made me such a cunt you may be asking. Well, I’ll tell you.

    When I was 23 or 24, I bought my first brand new car. A Ford Escort Eclipse in blue. You may remember these cars. Ford basically took a bunch of left over Escorts with 1.3L engines and gave them a makeover so they looked like the Escort XR3i.

    https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7668/17356305795_6de2baa8ac_b.jpg

    Being my first brand new set of wheels I was high as a kite as I drove around. Proud as punch I was. That lasted just 2 hours. TWO FUCKING HOURS!

    While waiting in the centre of the road to turn right, some dip shitted fuck brained moronic blind bitch cow slag decided she needed to also turn right out of the road I wanted to turn into. They went around the back of my car and in so doing, clipped my car’s bumper and basically fucked it. I was mortified, shocked, upset and seething all at once. They stopped and the relevant details were in the process of being exchanged when her fucking uncle shows up and pokes his fucking nose in. That caused her to go from all simpering and sorry to ‘it’s only a bumper, no one got hurt and it’s not a big deal’. That did not go down well with me and in a show of maturity and restraint, which I still can’t believe I was capable of at the time and under the circumstances, I walked away for a few minutes to calm down and collect myself. It was agreed not to go through insurance and that they’d pay for the damage. Can you tell where this is going?

    In the days which followed, I got a couple of quotes to have the bumper replaced. I mailed these to the stupid bitch in question and waited. No response. So I sent them again and waited. No response. I waited some more and still no response. Then I sent her the relevant paperwork as a precursor to suing them in small claims court. Guess what I got in the mail a few days later. Yep, a cheque for a new bumper.

    Lessons learned: 1) never give any cunt an inch 2) when wronged, don’t respond at an ‘appropriate’ level – go nuclear. Let them know you mean business day 1. Otherwise they’ll think you’re soft as shit and will take the piss.

    Just one of many life experiences which have led me to hate everyone with relatively few exceptions.

  25. When I was 17 ish I worked in the garage at a haulage firm.
    Some cunt kept burning the back of my neck with a teaspoon that had been left in the teapot.
    It was really starting to piss me off.
    When it was my turn to make the tea one morning, I got the offender’s cup out of his cupboard and wiped my cheesy bell-end around the outside and inside of the rim of his cup.
    Then I served the tea, and took great satisfaction in watching him slurp tea out of his cheesy-rimmed vessel.
    I was slightly worried that he would taste it.
    If he had, I’d have said that i’d not washed all the Vim© out properly.

    • You should never be rude to people who are serving you food and drink. That should be in BIG FUCKING LETTERS above the door of every restaurant and bar in the world. But there will always be some thick cunts who won’t understand the warning.

  26. Quite a mild one from me really. Many years ago when I was newly self employed I fitted a bathroom for a young Indian couple. When it was finished they fucked me over for £160 after claiming I told them that the cupboard they bought would fit in a certain space. Well it didn’t and I never said it would. Handily they hadn’t yet moved in so I called back at the house one evening as I had a key. I went to the large hot water cylinder in the airing cupboard, pulled back the insulating jacket and daubed a shit load of soldering flux around the bottom seam at the back of the cylinder. My guess is that it would have taken 6to 12 months to eat through, just nice for them to be fully settled in and decorated. Fuck em.

  27. It’s alleged that after some drug youths tried to steal my mountain bike out of my shed someone fronted them at a local bus stop and half gouged the cunts eye out with his thumb.

    I have no idea if it’s true.

  28. Years back I lived next door to a young cunt that played jig-a-boo music loudly before he went out of an evening. All well and good but the fucker would turn it on again at the same volume when he crawled home at 3am. Waking up me and the entire terrace. I tried to reason with the fucker but he persisted so early one morning before heading off fishing I drove three rusty nails into his car tyres.
    It didn’t stop the noise but I moved house later by and by. Still remember chuckling watching his Honda Civic being lifted onto the breakdown truck the next day, thanks to three nice flat tyres.

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