Lisa Theaker – Failed Plod Becomes TV Celeb

Lisa Theaker is Assistant Chief Constable to Cleveland Police, who in 2019 were rated inadequate and a failing force and put into special measures. So with a total lack of self-awareness for herself or the force she serves, ACC Theaker has decided to use her police skills and experience to take part in Channel 4 show Hunted as she and her team track down celebrity crooks.

Trying to justify her actions she burbled she wanted to “rehabilitate the forces image” and “to both represent the North East and amplify women’s voices”. Well I’m sure the taxpayers of Cleveland will be fucking thrilled on her personal crusade and vanity drive but couldn’t she do this in, well…her actual paid job.

Cleveland was recently named one of the most crime-ridden places in the country so it must be galling to see this cunt truffle put so much time and effort into a TV show where’s in real life like a lot of the country, victims of crime are treated as an inconvenience and fobbed off with a useless crime number whilst police complain about “cuts”.

It should be noted that she is using her holiday allowance to take part and her fee will be donated to charidee of course but that really isn’t the point. With shades of MP Nadine Dorries eating wombat bollocks on I’m A Celebrity…… its a public relations disaster.

Lets hope these celebs don’t go on Twitter and misgender some degenerate, the coppers would hunt them down in about half an hour.

Daily Mail Link


Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

90 thoughts on “Lisa Theaker – Failed Plod Becomes TV Celeb

  1. She needs a proper dinner down her.
    Looks like fuckin Peter Cushing.

    Bleaker with Theaker,
    Kinda looks like Beaker.

    Amplify womens voices?…ah.
    A ‘fish supper’ type.

    • Mnc@ – Peter Cushing would have a stake through this foul fkers heart just to be on the safe side!

  2. She has a ‘cunty’ Laura Cooonsberg look about her (don’t like em…) all those that have failed at their profession end up in TV or teaching. My lad has a business teacher – failed cinema manager and abject cock jockey. He asked my boy at 15 what he was gonna do? “Get a loan off my dad and earn money trading stocks and shares!” was the riposte ………..
    “How much thy want lad?” CUNTS!

    • Daz@ – I am still waiting to be around Laura Kuenssberg so I can ask my jolly question – one of these days I will get the opportunity..

    • same as that grinning cunt brian cox, failed university, failed his maths A’levels, failed pop star….sold his arsehole to the pedo BBC and overnight success reading science scripts on tv

    • it’ll be a tv show full of White criminals drug dealing and stealing cars while nigpanzees in african costumes are running charities and community centres organising soup kitchens…and ofcourse they all have a dozen nigbo grandsons unfairly stopped and searched on their way to the local baptist church

  3. Hard it is, fitting your job around your hobbies. How about catching some villains Lisa? – I feel confident there will be a few in your very department who may merit investigation..
    I (and a hell of a lot of others) made formal complaints about the negligence of fat useless bone idle bitch Julia Mulligan, former North Yorkshire Police and Crime Commissioner – she was voted out by an angry public and guess what happens next? – With a proven track record of utter incompetence, idleness and proven dishonesty she was then duly promoted by Home Secretary Priti “never let a dinner go uneaten” Vacant Patel as “Chair of the police advisory board for England and Wales”.
    How much longer can we allow these fucking vampires to take the piss like this before there are riots in the streets?

    • I’ve always maintained that there won’t be riots in the streets until the electricity goes out and unprepared people get hungry and desperate.
      At the moment, they can still get Deliveroo and watch mindless pap on the idiot box, so won’t get off their sofas.
      With rampant inflation, this might finally be the year that a tangible change occurs.
      Fingers crossed for inner city cannibalism!

      • Thomas@ – I am already eyeing up the local fatties and sharpening my boning knife – there is no way those wobbly chubsters can outrun me so I will not be going hungry when the vampire lizard moonmen finally do take over! 😀

      • “…there is no way those wobbly chubsters can outrun me so I will not be going hungry.”

        …and you can render down the blubber into fine bio-diesel, it’s a win win and will certainly improve the view of the average UK street scene/school run.

  4. Perhaps a Jamaican drugs peddler can squash the cunt under the wheels of his BMW live on TV?

    • i’d pay to watch that, especially if the car went in forward and reverse gears a dozen times, then blow the car up too

  5. She looks as if she has strong dykie tendencies and enjoys the use of a giant sized dildo Se should replace Starmer as leader of the Labour party. I’m sure Jess Phillips and Angie would enjoy being strummed off by her

      • Daz@ – My question to Cuntberg?
        “Laura – if your job, career, professional reputation and journalistic integrity depended on it and you had no choice whatsoever – would you ever consider telling the truth”?
        I fkin hate this sow, and would love to watch her desperately scratching around for an answer as everyone laughed at her..

    • you can bet the dildo is black and strapped to a poster of diane twoshoes abbott…these treasonist cunts love kneeling to sooties

  6. Great shout LL.
    I cunted the cops recently, giving just a few of many examples of police sleaze, incompetence and brutality for the nomination.
    Here’s another example.

    We need a professional police service capable of doing its job when people need to call upon it. Sadly there’s far too much of this sort of shithousery around.

  7. The “police” are a failed organisation. Corrupt and corrupted by woke and common purpose. They have no right to police the populace without consent. Woke useless cunts from top to bottom. Its completely pointless recording a crime except to get a crime number. Robberies, murder and violence have gone up in London to stratospheric proportions compared to pre 1950. I wonder why. The police are not interested in upholding the law or they would be doing something about the mass rape of white and Sikh girls by muslim rape gangs. They dont give a shit. I wouldnt piss on one if they were on fire.

    • You will have to watch the BBC show tonight ‘Sold sex slaves next door’ Romanian police complicit with the cunts drugging and trafficking young girls, some to the UK.
      The poor fuckers are so frightened they even say the are doing it voluntarily when the get rescued.

      • How does one go about purchasing said sex doll? Or will it be revealed on the BBC later….no doubt some form of phone in charity-pledge-athon

      • Soi@ – And had any of the traffickers been muslim not a word would have been said or reported.
        First Romanians in the UK who’s main job was not drug dealing, fencing stolen goods, pickpocketing or sitting on their grubby arses claiming a fortune in benefits I suppose..

      • Realistic!!
        But expensive.
        Buy 2nd hand and just give it a wipe over with a wet cloth.

      • @Vern, my post was more about the Romanian cunt police, everyone knows the Romanians that are here are all (well mostly) fucking criminals.
        If the police in Romania turn a blind eye then any of these girls who speaks out will find that there is no protection for family in Romania.

      • Blimy, RTC.

        You can’t buy them dolls for nine bob and rabbit skin, can you?

        I’m with MNC. Although I wouldn’t bother with the damp cloth.

        Too much hassle.

        Just a puff a Fabreeze and give it a quick sniff test.

        Sloppy seconds anyone?

        Or we could share it Mis? I could drop it off at Chapel in that layby?

      • 😁😁haha!
        Who said your going first?
        Youll get to close to the fire and melt it!
        It’ll look like its had a stroke by the time I get a date.

        Knowing my luck it’ll be on the blob by the time I get it.

      • I’m going first because I’m willing to pay for it!

        I’ll even drop off a tin of Jeyes Fluid with it.

        I’ve found a second hand ‘de luxe Glossop Girl’ variant.

        It is very authentic.

        It’s has a sixth toe on the left foot, and a partially formed set of eyelashes between the shoulder blades, and a smear of sheep shit around the ankles.

  8. “Amplifying women’s voices”

    As if their big mouths weren’t loud enough already 😂😂😂

    • as the AA & RAC de-prioritise rescue calls from women with children in favour of male silverback niggacunts who have smashed up stolen cars…because diversity can’t have filthy adult invading sootys in second place to privileged little white babies…fuckin burn the cunts

      • They sort of backtracked there, probably need to realise when the renewal for AA/RAC is due it’s the lady of the house who sorts it.
        Plonkers, I’d certainly like to know my lasses were considered a priority.

      • I read the article (the Star ffs!), no mention of racial bias at all, and the whole story was a lazy journalist culling a non event from social media, blowing it out of proportion, and knowing few people read past the fucking headline, the last sentence was the AA response was that perhaps they should have worded it better, but most of the time it is lone women who would get assistance first.
        MSM eh, can’t believe a word of it….

      • I don’t see any mention of:

        “the AA & RAC de-prioritising rescue calls from women with children in favour of male silverback niggacunts who have smashed up stolen cars because diversity can’t have filthy adult invading sootys in second place to privileged little white babies…”

        Perhaps, Tinkers, you could provide a link verifying this statement?

      • Evening Jeezum.

        I read Mikdys link. It makes no mention of male silverback niggacunts who have smashed up stolen cars because diversity can’t have filthy adult invading sootys in second place to privileged little white babies.


      • Indeed it does not.
        A provacative statement designed to provoke a massive ” hate bomb”.

      • I believed it because I think of the AA like a motoring related version of the BBC – expensive, woke and not having their consumers best interests at heart😁

      • I wonder how many ‘male silverback n*ggacunts’ driving a stolen car and smashing it up would actually call the AA 😂

      • “colourful language” is racist, Mr Sick.

        We have to say “language of colour” nowadays.

      • Anyway, if a woman wants priority all she’d need to do is self identify as a male silverback niggacunt, and Bob’s yer auntie! It ain’t fucking rocket science.

      • Fake news just in.

        BAME RAC patrolmen, rape 8 out of 10 lone women at the roadside.

        A to B? We’ll R,A,see to your missus.

  9. That ‘looking down to camera’ pose, how important or relevant does she think she is?
    Another total fucking failure up for grandstanding on the woke ship “Fuck you”.
    Oven, gas mark “surface of the sun”.

  10. A ‘reality’ show on Channel 4? They’re all as about as realistic as Button Moon.

    ‘Ahh, but this one, THIS one…;’ say the nitwits who want to convince themselves they aren’t wasting their time.

    No, they’re all shite.

  11. Hopefully some lobotomised sooty will diversify the cunt with its mostly peaceful blade, serves it right for kneeling down and sucking nigpanzee cocks as they defaced Churchill’s statue and screeched like planet of the apes swinging from our war memorials

  12. Is she a…. you know, doughnut bumper? Looks like she might be having her second bollock removed.

  13. She is a useless Cunt as are all Plod leaders. Put the fuckers on duty outside supermarkets. “What to catch shop lifters”? No Stupid collect the trolleys. Cunt.

  14. Considering she was bought in, after the 2019 report, and has failed completely to make any improvement at all, I’m amazed she’s still in post.
    Who the fuck makes these appointments, because hers is a manufactured job if ever I saw one.
    She really must know where the bodies are buried, that’s all I can say.

    • It stops where it is or gets promoted purely on the highest grade woke reports it squeezes out.
      Plus the armour plating of being a hatchet faced dyke.

  15. Is it a dyke? Certainly looks like one and being a dyke is the main requirement for wimmen to get the Chief Constable gig.

  16. Looks like this thing has modelled it’s appearance on the incomparable Commissioner Strapon of Londonstabistan fame. Hasn’t quite reached her level of incompetence but that’s a big mountain to climb.
    I thought they only had pretty people on the telly. Where the fuck did they find this fucking gargoyle?

      • Yeah, it looks like she’s got three eyelids on one side, and two on the other.

        Her hair is nice. Looks like she’s just stepped out of Vidal Sassoon’s salon.

        Fuck me that crusty, lank mop of hair needs more than T-gel to rejuvenate it.

        Schwartzkov will be snapping her up for their latest TV ad.

  17. Cunters, if I may, I really have been suprised by the following report on Sky News. Truly I say this has come as a great shock to me. What am saying ‘shocked’ is not nearly a song enough word, more like ‘astounded’ I am.

    They are actually saying Cunters they are ACTUALLY saying that Gypsies, Irish Travellers and Muslims are the ‘least liked’ people in the UK.

    Click on tbe link and be astonished;

    • Fucking hell, who would believe it? Blind, ignorant prejudice that’s all it is.
      I love the thieving anti social Pikeys me. Ok, some of those Peacefuls have been a bit careless with knives and carrying explosives on public transport but we all make mistakes right?
      Diversity is our strength.

  18. You could go skiing off piste on that nose. It’s bigger than some cocks I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

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