Hollywood (4)

A nomination for modern Hollywood.

Forget the woke bollocks, this has been going on for a while. It’s more an issue of craftsmanship than politics.

Their horror films are as chilling as an episode of Count Duckula.
Their action is aimed at retarded teenagers. Same for science fiction.
Their dramas and comedies have no edge and follow narratives written by algorithm.
Their historical epics are so inaccurate they may as well be set on the fucking moon.

Isn’t it about time everyone over the age of 21 just stopped wasting their time with this muck?

Read a fucking book.

PS. May I also add that nothing is filmed nowadays, just created on a computer.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

70 thoughts on “Hollywood (4)

  1. There are few films I now watch that have been made after the year 2000. My go-to decades are 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Some OK films in the 90s, but the rot had well and truly set in by then.

    Much of what dribbles out of the Hollywoke factory nowadays is errant shite. I’d sooner dim the light and settle down with a giant box of hankies and some lube to a nice evening on the rug with an Xhamster blockbuster.

    • To err is human, Paul, and I think I divine your denotation. A common orthographical error: the correct word isarrant.

      Bit surprising coming from you: a touch of Les Misérables, non?

      • No squire, I did mean errant:

        i.e. straying from the accepted course or standards

        Film-wise my standards are high.

      • ps. you remind me of a lady by the name of Kim who used to frequent a similar forum and, I believe, another known as the Knitter’s Arms.

        The similarity in your writing style is astonishing. She got kicked off the other forum for pissing off too many of the locals.

      • Did you really? The expression “arrant shite” means “utter shite”, whereas the expression “errant shite” doesn’t exist. It also doesn’t make sense as you contend. In the context of your comment (with which, incidentally, I largely agree) you plainly meant “arrant”.

        Obviously, Humpty Dumpty’s mileage may vary (to coin yet another phrase). At least Miles has the good grace/common sense to admit his ‘eggregious’ error.

        Not an attempt to “piss you off”, unlike your Kim or your Knitter’s Arms (wtf?). Either way, I’m unsure why it would piss you off if you did indeed mean “errant”: rather a missed opportunity, I’d say.

        Apologies: it clearly did!

      • No, it didn’t piss me off, Herr Ajax. I am just curious that someone can manage to deviate a thread so effectively with apparent ease. I use the phrase errant shite all the time. Errant meaning wayward. No error on my part.

        I think you ought to change the bait; it clearly isn’t attracting the juicy catch you crave, skipper.🐟🐟🐟

      • Sorry Orangeboöm, Paul is correct on this. Apart from meaning absent, errant can mean “not correctly done” which, when describing Hollywood films, is rather perfect.

    • “Errant shite” very popular phrase north of the Watford Gap. You are quite right Paul and it is exactly how you wrote it.

  2. CGI has turned films into little more than cartoons. The woke shit has stripped out any real interest from the screenplays, turning them into insipid mush. The actors are only interested in virtue signalling. Result? Netflix.

  3. CGI has its place in cinema. “Lord of the Rings” was a perfect example of how CGI can be used sparingly without taking too much away from the realism of the film as a whole.

    Moreover, some of the old stop-motion animation sfx of the 60s – most noticeably by Raymond “Jason & the Argonauts” Harryhausen and Douglas “2001” Trumbull, were and still are far more impressive than some of the blatant, heavy handed CGI that saturates films these days.

  4. Hollywood “movies”, like UK ones, are all shit

    Token strong female 👍🏼
    Token white baddie 👍🏻
    Showing ethnics in a “positive” way 👍🏽
    Token Black character 👍🏾
    Token East Asian 👍
    Script that doesn’t offend minority 👍🏿

    This is the process before they even look for a story. The film industry is wretched now. You might see decent films cast properly, designed well, and directly superbly from Korea, Japan, even France but not Britain or America. Those days have gone.

    • My G/Daughter honestly believes that there was a real Black Duke of Hastings as she has seen it on the telly. She also tells me of the series of Katherine “Great” where there are lots of nobles at the Russian court. Check out “Mary Queen of Scots ” ( BBC movie ) where the English Ambassador to the Scottish Court is a great big Sambo form the shithole that is Africa. No wonder we have problems today, the drip feed and poisoning of young minds has to stop

  5. Hollywood mostly creates films for retarded yanks with the attention span, intellect and body of a Big Mac. They have dragged the rest of the world down to their level.

  6. If I do watch a Hollywood film it’s on one of my streaming sites so I don’t pay one penny towards Hollywood and their woke fuckery!

  7. At the end of the day Box-office receipts and/or streaming service subscriptions will judge the success or otherwise of post #metoo Hollywood films these days.

    The over 50s will probably be of the same mind as most of us on here – “fuck Hollywood, I’ll try World Cinema or the Independents”. But for the Gen Zs and Millies, they know no different, and will be further brainwashed by dull predictable scripts, happy-clappy-tick-box leading characters/actors, bland CGI, and nothing that will cause too much offence to anyone other than to the One Usual Suspect!

    • During WW2 Hollywood opened its doors, servicemen could go jitterbug with the stars of the time, have their photo taken with a starlet, have a steak, free packets of cigarettes etc
      The price?
      None, your uniform wipes the slate, fighting the axis.
      Imagine that nowadays?!!
      No chance.
      A sick place populated by sick people.
      Theres no ‘movie stars’ anymore.
      Just Virtue signalling show offs.
      No blockbusters or epics made.
      Just shite.

      • There are some great film stars about, Mis.
        My career in porno films (1992-95) as Jack Hammer were always well recieved.
        Just like my gigglestick 😉👍

      • Jack Hammer, that was the name of my warm up act before I myself would enter the scene.
        Happy days.

  8. Most of it is so bland it will induce a coma.
    Muddled up fucked up PC woke shite.
    Joker was very good and the exception to the rule.
    I suspect the Kings of Hollywood are so fucked up on crack and Gays politics that they neither know nor cate why their films are regularly box office disasters.
    Fuck the cunts.

  9. Well you know I just live up the road! It’s all a film set from Bodega Bay South. I’ve been in the same room as Jim Carrey most recently. He and the serious actors. They’re good cunts, well he’s a comedian but you get my drift.
    The number of kids at the border just hit an all time high so look on the bright side maybe Hollywood will give them some jobs. Oh and I saw Godzilla vs KingKong at a private screening yesterday and they were two of the finest actors I’ve seen. Overblown load of shite otherwise but the popcorn was pretty good.

  10. I suspect that many cinema goers worldwide are fed up with the constant lecturing and virtue signalling hypocrisy given out by the those who don’t live in the real world and whose lives are not affected like the rest of us.

    With a bit of luck audience figures and revenues will fall rapidly and those who play pretend for a living will all fade into obscurity where they belong.

  11. Fortunately they were so many good films made Pre-woke, that my Collection fills 3x 6×4 book shelves. So no fear of having to watch anything with content removed.

    Fuck Hollywood.

    • Theres murderer (alledged) Robert Wagner, accessory to murder Christopher Walkden (alledgedly) funny pee do phil woody Allen (alledgedly)
      Drugged up wife beater Johnny Depp (alledgedly)
      That cannibal cunt,
      Scientologist gaylord Tom Cruise (alledgedly)
      And the like.
      Not a patch on the old stars of yesteryear.
      Like murderer Fatty Arbuckle.

  12. I re-watched Inception the other day and realised that, effects excepted, it’s shit. Its as though someone has found some great SFX and some other knob has said ” lets build a story round that” I prefer to watch some classic 50/60s horror and sci fi on YouTube.

  13. Gave Wrath of the Titans a try recently. What a sorry fucking load of stupid shit that was. And that was only the first 10 minutes. Had to stop before I wasted any more precious moments of time I have here on Earth.
    Obviously a cash grab and a big fat “Fuck You we don’t give a shit if it sucks!” To those hoping for a halfway decent picture.
    Cunts!

  14. Modern day Hollywood films have about as much appeal as a naked Jess Phillips.
    I recently watched Waterloo from 1970 and couldn’t help wondering how much Hollywood would butcher a similarly themed film in 2021 by comparison.
    Idris Elba would be cast as Napoleon and fake as fuck CGI would no doubt take care of the battle scenes.

  15. I’ve got ‘Seven samurai’ yojimbo,and rashamon to plough through this week, better than that there hollywoke bollocks!

  16. Can you imagine these useless cunts remaking something like Spartacus or The Guns of Navarone or Where Eagles Dare?
    It doesn’t bear thinking about.

  17. Sorry Paul, you have made another mistake. There’s no bait, no fish and no intention to annoy. Judging by those all-important upticks you have garnered, perhaps you should be thanking me!

    This bollocks reminds me of a bloke I knew quite well some years ago when I lived in Chongqing. He was apparently very well-educated and intelligent. No, that’s unfair: he was very well-educated and intelligent; he was also quite influential and had risen up far above his abilities. He was a “fixer” and had come out to China as a “floater¹”.

    One of his orthographic “transgressions” was the habitual mis-spelling of the word “minuscule” (unsurprisingly, perhaps, he spelled it “miniscule”). He obviously liked the word and hugely over-used it. Over a few drinks, I pointed out his mistake, but he simply wouldn’t have it and argued his spelling was an accepted alternative. Given that most people make this mistake, he kind-of did have a point.

    I note with amusement that others have “waded in” by way of defence. The set-phrase is “arrant nonsense”, but by extension you can have “arrant shite” also. While I agree you can additionally have “red shite”, “loose shite”, “unwanted shite” and 1001 variations on “adjective + shite” to boot, “errant shite” is straightforwardly pretty much nonsense – like “insubordinate shite”, “friendly shite” &c (although I agree you certainly could attempt some semantic acrobatics to justify such (ab)usage.)

    Fair enough, you really did mean “errant shite”. I’ve apologised, without any element of hubris or irony, so there we are. As said, I actually largely agree with your sentiments about Hollywood (apols too are due to Cuntamus for unintentionally partially derailing the nomination). Clearly that latter is less important than asserting the intentionality of your undeniably ‘obscure’ usage, Paul.

    ¹ an FCO label for one who is posted overseas but not substantively accredited. Brian was a nice chap, and had entered diplomatic service via the management section route 25 years earlier (ie he wasn’t “fast stream”). His spelling certainly was quite, errm, errant – and his devotion to such solecisms a bit of a worry

      • Oops, I seemed to have repeated myself. I wonder how that could have happened?

      • Although I’m not actually a troll, Four Eyed Cunt, please take note of my

        amusement that others have “waded in” by way of defence

        That amusement remains, schadenfreudlicherweise¹, undiminished.

        ¹ more “errant shite”. The adjective does not actually exist in common usage, but any German speaker would instantly recognise it as meaning “betreffs der Schadenfreude¹”

        ¹ roughly meaning: “by dint of Schadenfreude²” (or, less pompously: “because of an amusement at others’ misfortunes”.) Not an attractive characteristic, I concur

      • Chill man don’t get wound up. It’s Friday night drinks and there’s no need to get intense about anything. If someone says something that yanks your chain just leave it. You’ve spoilt the thread for me.

    • Hahahaha lol lol lol what an absolutely cringeworthy embarrassment. Despite all the Pomp and circumstance it boils down yet again to just been a laughing stock. There really is no coming back from this….Holywood!

  18. If they remade Jaws, Brody, Quint, Hooper and the Mayor wouldn’t be played by white males. It would be rubbish as well.

    • Farewell an ado all me fine spanish ladies, farewell an ado all the ladies of Spain…
      Cuntologist@
      Next to Harry Callaghan,
      Quint is one of my all-time favourite characters!
      I love that film.

      “Lemme see those hands!”😀😀

      • Definitely one of my faves too!

        Chief Brody: “Slow ahead. Sure, I can go slow ahead. Why don’t you come down here and chum some of this shit!”

        or Hooper “That’s a 20 footer”
        Quint “25. All three tons of him!”
        Brody “We’re gonna need a bigger boat right?”

        Brilliant

    • Can’t believe the original blockbuster will be 50 years old in 3 or 4 years time!

      I remember queuing outside the ABC New Street cinema in Birmingham in February 1976. Massive queue in fact that I couldn’t get in because it was a full house.

      Took 4 more attempts before I actually got to see it. And the best scene of all was that fisherman’s head popping out of a hole in a half-submerged boat. Whole fucking audience jumped in shock and shat themselves, myself included! Took 2 or 3 minutes before everyone recovered.

      Not bad for a “A” rated film back then

      • Still stands up to the test of time! You likely know Robert Shaw very much helped with ‘the Indianapolis speech’ which is amazing. The original Alien is also about the same time and that stands up well too.

        When all is said and done, I’m glad I watched all the black and white films that I did and as many films as I did before they become a load of rubbish and actors became silly versions of Jane Fonda.

      • I did the same thing when the bloody arm shot out of the grave in Carrie! 1976

  19. Excellent and relevant cunting, let’s take 007 for instance, I bet my left nut that the next Bond is a Big Black fucker, Miss Moneypenny has turned up colored, why not just have it as an entire black cast and call him Leroy Bond who wears oversized sports clothing, huge junk jewellery, drives a lowered BMW complete with bass booster and who shouts and acts in a loud and obnoxious manner, has about 10 kids with 10 different women and can tuck his huge knob in his sock.!

    • Better a big black fucker than a slight little chap of colour from Bridgerton..

      I liked Casino Royale but Craig’s run is not exactly great. Hard to make Bond work for the twat audience if you’re still using Fleming’s books , which Babs Broccoli definitely isn’t.

      I say let James Bond die.

  20. Psycho. Now that’s what I call a film.
    Tony Perkins as a mad murderous cunt and Janet Leigh in her underwear.
    A cracker.

    • And although she gets offed by my namesake Norman, that shower scene featuring Miss Leigh gave me a million ideas and kept me awake many a night as a young laddie. My wrist nearly fell off at one point.

    • I like Cool hand Luke starring Paul Newman.

      ‘what we have here Luke is a failure to communicate’….

  21. One Million Years BC.

    Dinosaurs, volcanoes, earthquakes, cavemen and Raquel Welsh adorned in bikini furs and not much else!

    She was brilliant in this because all she had to do was grunt and groan and say “ugg” and “errrggg” a few times.

  22. And who can forget Barry Norman and his BBC film review show “Film 7*” (Where the * is the year in question)

    Goof old Bazza. Bit of a smug cunt, but was easy on the eye, knew his stuff, and didn’t have many chips on his shoulders.

    Quite often lampooned on the original Spitting Image show in the early 80s, but took it in good stead.

    Such simpler times

  23. Hollywood, Satan’s personal cesspit. Weinstein is just the tip of the proverbial shit berg. A cunt fest of the highest order, a mediocrity factory that makes Eastenders seem exotic and risqué . The cunts in the big cathedral of woke enjoy rubbing your face in their vomit inducing diversity quotas, “Liberal” values and general celebration of dark key and latte-no fucktardery. Burn Hollywood burn you fucking cunts.

  24. Can’t be arsed with any of this crap now. Let me loose… let me me loose in a club…eh? what? what that fuck’s that?
    It is a place where you go to listen to great music and maybe fucking dance a little………..

  25. I’m proud to say that my mid-20’s nephew grew up hating modern films or “computerised cartoons” as he calls them.
    Thanks to his favourite uncle he was brought up on movies like Bullitt, The French Connection, Where Eagles Dare, The Taking of Pelham 123 (the original version of course), Dirty Harry and The Wild Bunch.

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