Following an excellent suggestion by King Cnut, we are proud to announce the Cunter’s Dictionary – a glossary of fine terms that can be used to describe the prize cunts of the world together with their definitions.
Additions to this fine tome are invited and will be added as and when we can be arsed…
A | |
accunting | summary justice handed out by a cunter – or – false book keeping |
Archbishop of Cunterbury | pointless cunt and head of the Church of England |
americunt | teflon coated war monger |
Agincunt | notable English away win fought on St Cuntins day |
advocunt | cunt who speaks up for another cunt |
acuntcronym | cunt word formed by combining the initial letters of a multipart name, such as the wages theft “Pay As You Earn” (PAYE) |
adjecuntive | qualifier of a cunt-noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and of several suffixes, such as cuntable, cuntous, cunter and cuntest |
aristocunt | a rich upper class twit |
anaerobic cunt | a cunt underneath the slime |
acuntrobatics | manoeuvres of a pissed cunt |
acuntlyte | fanatical follower of a major cunt (eg: Morrissey fans, Harry Potter cunts etc) |
africunt | probably your neighbour next week |
agricunturist | industrial scale weed farmer |
AINACS | slow driving cunt’s rear view |
acuntability | quality of being able to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt |
anglocunt | an English person acting like a cunt when abroad on trips or holidays |
B | |
book of cuntdolence | place for luvvies to leave their thumb print for a dead celebricunt |
barcunt | thing that makes the till go ‘beep’ |
C | |
cunt satchel | a cunt with multiple cuntitudes held within them – like in a satchel |
celebricunt | pointless, talentless pixel shifter |
cuntputer | device used to cunt cunts |
circuntvent | hole in a cunt’s face from whence issues cuntishness. (esp. politicians, rappers….etc) |
cuntryfile | a repository of cuntishness |
cunt factor | a measure from 1 to 10 for measuring cuntishness – or – a talentless TV show |
cuntometer | a device for measure a person’s cunt factor |
cuntdown | boring quiz show for smartarsed cunts |
cuntsearchers | cunts who find and expose the real cunts |
correctorcunting | the art of non-politically correct cunting |
cuntservatives | caviar eating, champagne guzzling, Etonian bottybashing cunts who govern Great Britain (also known as Tory Cunts) |
cuntstable | person who is never there when you need him |
cuntstitution | guide lines governing Cuntitudiness |
cuntstubble’s Hay Wain | newly coiffured Cunters greeting to a Man U player |
cuntrycide | retaliation of the be-cunted |
cuntry Seat | Chequers |
Cuntstantinople | the final frontier |
cuntvict | an Australian |
cuntrary | cunters normal stand point |
cunterpoint | music for cunts |
(in the) cuntch | cunt in a difficult or vulnerable position; “he cunted me and left me in the cuntch” |
clunt | someone who is both a clown and a cunt |
cuntural enrichment | PC phrase for embracing diversity |
cybercunts | mindless, immature individuals such as internet trolls |
cuntivore | a person who eats pussy |
cuntocracy | a cuntry or organisation ruled by a cunt or cunts (e.g. North Korean, Tipton) |
chilcunt | procrastinating self, or friends, arse coverer |
compocunt | a compensation seeking cunt |
cuntsistant | a consistant cunt |
cuntney | a cockney cunt |
cuntocrat | a born cunt |
cuntroversy | is someone a cunt or not? |
cuntfrontation | two cunts arguing |
cunt++ | cunty programming language |
(the) cunt in the hat | Jamiroquai |
cuntweazle | sneaky cunt |
cnt | amerikan spelling |
cunter | comes between trot and whoa slow down you cunt |
cuntstabulary | where they keep police horses |
cuntney | Londoner |
cuntradiction | no it cunting isn’t! |
cuntonation street | once a benchmark in telly… Now a benchmark for cunts |
cuntvict | an australian |
cuntiac | american pimpmobile |
cuntaloupe | fruity cunt |
Cuntney Love | smack riddled scrag-end of the rock ‘n’ roll groupie market |
cuntgratulations | bad loser’s compliments |
cuntsultant | 33rd degree satanic quack (in mufti) |
cuntvert | bring someone to the dark side |
cuntmas | season of false bonhomie and SCUD (see ‘S’) |
cuntryside ranger | cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging (good luck with that one) |
cuntment allez-vous? | franglais – wassup yer cunt? |
c’unt bien | franglais – champion; fucking champion |
charcunterie | franglais – butty shoppe |
D | |
distinguished cunt | a cunt who stands out even amongst other cunts |
discunt | opening gambit for a shopping cunt |
discruntled | somewhat miffed cunt |
descunt | melody or cunterpoint |
descunts | (french) as in ‘des cunts est sur les totties’ |
decunthalon | ten sports in one for the also ran cunts |
decuntpitude | fucked, knackered old cunt |
discuntability | condition of being unable to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt |
dead cunt walking | deadpool nominated celbricunt |
dicuntionary | tome that contains words you can not spell. Not much fekin use if you don’t know how to spell the word in the first place |
dickuntson | cunt with a weird suntan |
differential cuntulus | a way for degree toting cunts to show off |
difficunt | lazy cunt’s attitude to something requiring considerable effort |
E | |
epicuntean | self professed expert on foodycunts (see ‘foodycunt’) |
ecocunt | a green cunt |
ecuntologist | smoking, diesel driving, coal burning, sump oil down the drain kinda cunt |
F | |
foodycunts | pretentious self-important cooks and chefs such as the chef-cunt Jamie Oliver |
four seasons cunt | simply a cunt all year round |
First Cunt Is The Deepest | never getting over being dumped (or not getting a shag) off your first girlfriend |
ecuntity | path to benefit wealth |
francocunt | an English person that likes all things French |
H | |
holographic cunt | a cunt from all angles |
hurricunt | someone who is such a cunt (like a Hurricane) they sweep up all around them in a mass of devastating cuntitude (e.g Iain Duncan Smith) |
horticunturist | weed farmer |
horse cunt | as in “look at the cunt on that horse”. A deceptive phrase that refers to the rider on a horse and not the actual cunt of the filly horse. (see “Mounted Cunt”) |
I | |
idicuntom | expression peculiar to itself grammatically or that cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on cunts” |
Intercunt Service Provider | awful Internet Service Provider (ISP) such as Virgin Media and Talk Talk |
immicunt | a immigrant cunt – or – a cunt who works for the immigration service |
immacuntlate | a perfect cunt |
immacuntlate birth | honest Joseph I aint never not been wiv no one else. Innit! |
J | |
jihadicunt | islamic male with small penis and scruffy beard carrying a gun or bomb – or – islamic female wearing a burka-sack garment hiding explosives |
jackcuntnory | kids stories for kids who are little cunts |
jack-in-the-cunt | pops up from time to time as cunter clown or jester |
je ne cuntprends pas | franglais – speak English ya’ cunt! |
K | |
Kayne Cunt | self important, talentless, gets away with murder cunt (see also Cunt Kardashian = fat arsed slapper, wife of Kanye Cunt) |
kleptocunt | theiving cunt (e.g. a Liverpudlian) |
kleptocunt & son | dirty old cunts |
klu kuny klan | racist chickenshagging cross burning sheet wearing cunts |
L | |
lubricunt | KY jelly |
lexicunt | a dictionary of cunts |
lock, stock and two smoking cunts | lesbian post coital ciggy |
M | |
mulletcunt | a cunt with a dead cat masquerading as hair |
mourinho cunt | cunt who is in a very privileged position, has a lot going for them, wins a lot, but is still always a sour faced miserable cunt |
medicunts | quacks and foreigners in the NHS |
morricunt | a hypocritical veggie eating ego maniac |
magnificunt | a magnificent cunt |
mancuntians | northern cunts (e.g. Oasis) |
mornincunt crescent | cunty panel game |
mounted cunt | a cunt on horse, especially a Metropolitan police officer cunt on a horse.(see “horse cunt) |
morning cunt | lead in yer pencil and no one to write to |
N | |
neocunticism | revival of classical style (in art or literature or architecture or music) but from a new cuntish perspective |
O | |
octocunt | a group of eight cunts, especially mancuntians or kleptocunts |
ocean going cunt | cunt of titanic proportions |
P | |
plebocunt | a common cunt |
pourcunt | franglais – Why the fuck? |
Q | |
quadrillocunt | The Cunt Identity, Ultimatum, Supremacy, Legacy – pretentious up their own arse piss poor films made by cunts, starring cunts and watched by cunts |
plutocunt | a rich cunt |
QUNTY | broken keyboard incorrectly reassembled |
R | |
rusticunts | a expression for cunt villagers |
recalcicunt | cunter who doesn’t give a cunt |
replicunt | a copy cat cunt |
recunting | a cunt telling a story |
S | |
swiss army cunt | a person with cuntishness for every occasion |
seasonal cunt | someone who becomes a cunt at certain times of the year e.g. Christmas |
scuntnik | any Russian cunt or one of the rulers in a Russian oligarchy |
scuntish | of or concerning the haggis chomping, papist sheep shaggers |
sissycunt | timid milksop cunt considered childish or unassertive. Often says: “He’s not really a cunt” or “she’s not really a cunt” |
cunt’s watering hole | |
Strictly Cunts Dancing – or – Christmas eyebola: symptoms: bleeding of the eyeballs | |
T | |
tecuntnology | gizmo’s one generation too advanced for a cunt |
tourettes | fucking cunt! |
tailcunter | cunt who watches another cunt’s back |
tacuntograph | ministry tool to circumvent the use of three log books and two sets of number plates. (HGV)(Happy days) |
tour de cunts | sweaty, be-lycra’d, chain grinder race. In fekin france |
Très bien, mercunt | Franglais – Thanks a lot, cunt! |
U | |
universal cunt | a cunt whose cuntitude can be recognised by people all over the world, even to cunts who don’t know what cunt means |
upfront cunt | cunt who makes no effort to hide their Cuntitude |
Uber Cünt (or Unt Cünt) | cunt from ze fatherland |
V | |
vacunt | a cunt who’s a bit slow on the uptake |
vacuunt | a hoover |
W | |
weapons grade cunt | a cunt who’s a threat to humanity (e.g. Tony Blair) |
whizzcunt | a self made cunt |
wancuntle engine | source of schoolboy humour |
Y | |
yoocuntility | rip-off energy commodity or service company, such as E-on electricity, Thames Water or British Gas |
Two Cunts do not make it trite. Cuntitude is ageless.
0
THE CUNTERS FRIEND
…is a cunt or “ISAC” has a diverse membership of cunter companies, cunting providers, cuntitude manufacturers and general cunters who rely on Information Technology cunting for the success of their enterprises. Although these cunters are unique, they all provide value to and receive value from ISAC.
ISAC enables cunters to connect with other IT cunters across the critical cunting infrastructure community. We compare cunts with other cunts to have a better understanding of the cunt threat environment.
ISAC member allies are excellent at sharing cunted information on how to identify cunts in the MSM media networks. ISAC is a valuable cuntitude industry forum for trusted information sharing about the cunts – it is one of ISAC methods to combat and expose cunts in the media that harm us, our families and our country. ISAC is the best example of industry collaboration to address the cyber risks of all cunts.
ISAC provides time sensitive indicators and warnings for pretend cunters, such as trolls, including malware signatures, malicious IP addresses, and attack tactics and techniques. The ISAC management enables us to make informed risk management cunting decisions.
2
We endeavour to do our best. Thanks.
1
forums running a bit funny, you want to have a look and see whats up?
0
This would be a good game down the Pub.
2
Would be? You think I come up with this shit without alcoholic fuelling.
3
What is in chicken but not in Honduras?
What is in Honduras but not in chicken?
What is both chicken and Honduras?
What is in neither chicken or Honduras?
Answer: cunt!
5
Mr D, I see you have started adding cunty-words from us, including mine, to the dictionary.
Do you want to also add the cunty-terms? Like my “Intercunt Service Provider” or “yoocuntility” (see definitions of them on my earlier post above).
0
I’m working my way through them all – seems to have been a popular idea. Also makes a shit load of work for me but I guess I can only blame myself for that!!!
1
No worries, do it a little here and there over time when you are not arsed.
0
When you have a spare minute you couldn’t organize a bit of script to auto update our spell check dictionaries could you old chap?
I’ll just get me coat……………..
2
In case anyone is wondering where their comments have disappeared to, I’ve been clearing them off as I transfer them to the notepad for adding to the dictionary. At 100+ comments it was getting a bit unwieldy and I saw no point in them being on the page and in the comments.
I’m working through them, but it will take a while…
1
Well done Mr D., I hope you get your brownie points from The All Seeing Eye.
0
Thanks. I’ll need the brownie points because I’m fucking off to Australia for the best part of a month shortly…!
0
My sincere cuntmiserations.
2
I’m visiting the cuntvicts…
5
Hope you had a good time here
Bet you didn’t want to go back
Hope you know it’s only us white Anglo Saxon Aussies that are cuntvicts the rest of the cunts brought in by cunticians are just the same imiecunts that your cunticians let in
0
Brownie points ? Quite the opposite direction to cunty points I believe.
2
Depends whether you’re potting the pink or the brown.
0
It’s the Whiskey wot makes me do it.
2
Bung them all on one comment – it saves you time and me time cumputer mouse scrolling down screen getting to them all.
0
If you like you could just shove them all in an email and send it to me at dioclese@gmail.com
Probably easier for me as well.
0
Whilst you are in Australia, expect lots more cunty words and terms from me to your inbox for the dictionary.
Me and Mrs E are off on our annual 2 week haute cuisine gourmet jaunt to France next week. For more refined sensuous enjoyment. We are both connoisseurs of fine French food and drink. But in no way are we foodycunts!
0
just Francocunts…?
0
In the past, whilst on holidays in France, I have over heard some French bigot frogs call me a “chatte anglaises”. (slang for English cunt). But the Mrs and me often over hear the frogs calling us “les rosbifs” (“the roast beefs” meaning English twats).
I am really an “Anglocunt” when in France and maybe sometimes a “Francocunt” at home in England.
I think “frogcunt”, meaning any French cunt, is better than Francocunt though.
Add it to the cunter’s dictionary.
1
Cuntryside Range: Cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging. Good luck with that one.
1
Viscunt = A male sort of Royal cunt or those old school biscuits.
Viscuntess = A female sort of Royal cunt.
1
Franglaise Cuntitude.
Cuntment allez-vous: Wassup Cunt?
Très bien, mercunt: Thanks alot ya Cunt!
Je ne cuntprends pas; English! Speak English you………..CUNT!
Pourqunt; Why the fuck!
C’unt bien: Champion. Fucking champion.
Charcunterie: Butty shoppe.
2
http://www.learnersdictionary.com/definition/cunt
Silly bunts!
1
I have been into the cunterms forever.
When needing cuntlery, you go to the cuntlery drawer, same with packing up leftovers, straight into a cuntainer.
So good to see it’s world wide official you beautiful cunts…
2
Cuntry & Western – Music for redneck cunts…
1
Cuntabix. If you know what’s good for you….. OKAY
0
Islamacunt. which is basicly just any muslim cunt
5
To “Cuntface”:
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…………/….//……….. …\\….\
………../….//………… ….\\….\
…../´¯/…./´¯\………../¯ `\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./.|_……_| .\….\….\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.)..)..(..(. \….)….)….).)
.\…………….\/…/….\. ..\/……………./
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6
Eurocunts, which is basically EuroPIG cunts
1
‘Africunt’ should be removed from your dictionary. It is both racist and offensive
0
Er……
….that’s kinda the point!
5
And a lot of the others aren’t? Snowflake fucking cunt!
1
The definition of ‘Immicunt’ really needs to be revised as well. Having a laugh is all well and good but let’s cut out the comments from racist/bigoted cunts.
0
Try telling that to the women of Cologne…
2
Racism and bigotry can never be an acceptable response to any action, no matter how abhorrent
0
Piss off son there’s a good boy
5
Ooh, such witicism and erudition. I’d love to engage you in a battle of wits but I never challenge an unarmed man.
0
Shakespeare would think you are a cunt too for for stealing his quote and not thanking him for it andy.
The only person you are impressing with your celebrity quote mining and clumsy attempts at trying to appear intellectual is yourself which i’m sure will sadly only add to your over inflated ego and compensate for your glaring emotional insecurities.
New entry suggestion for cunters dictionary…
andycunt-a person not handy at anything much other than fail internet posts and lowbrow replies.
Awaiting another andycunt clumsy reply incorporating a quote from Freud which i’ll never read.
7
@Andy Fuck off you stupid cunt go fuck your golliwog boyfriend you cuckold bastard .
I wanna add cuckoldcunt to the dictionary meaning any cunt who cry’s like a baby because someone said a bad word and can’t please their wife because they got small dick syndrome so they hire a wog. The word racist is a catch all term which could mean anything but its mainly used to distract. Its also a anti-white word because anybody who is colored can say racist words and get away with it because they are oppressed apparently. Andy you’re a sodding poof!
4
Thank you for your kind words. In response I shall offer you a quote from Goethe, which I believe is particularly suited to you
“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.”
0
Lol oh god the irony you can’t refute or denounce anything I have said but you quote Wolfgang von Goethe. Who not only loved germany but hated immigrants who took advantage of it. Goethe would be disgusted by a bellend like you who flys to the defence of islamic rapists taking advantage of his country.
How does a cuckold like yourself accept such liberal leftist views. Also if your daughter(if you had one lets hope you don’t) got raped by one of these savage’s would you call her a racist if she told you the rapist was black muslim or arab?. Or would you like mayor of cologne tell her to avoid getting raped should keep at “an arm’s length” from strangers? educate yourself douchebag http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35249612?SThisFB
5
Another fucking troll.
Let’s have a vote please : Should I just ban the cunt?
7
One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
One man’s terrorist is another man’s patriot
One man’s racist bigot is another man’s realist…
5
We do cut out the worst excesses.
At the end of the day, if you don’t like what you read you are at liberty to:
(1) say so
(2) fuck off somewhere else
But remember the right of reply
5
Things are too sanitised these days and political correctness is a disease that is as bad as racism.. There is nothing wrong with saying things how they actually are… Those savages in Cologne are dirty Syrian migrant cunts…Just like the IRA were murdering Irish bastards, the Nazis were German cunts, and, yes, even the English have their own scum like the NF and those Scouse cunts at Heysel… Those evil raping cunts in Germany are dirty sick bastards from Syria… What’s racist about that? That is what they are… People need to address and deal with these evil bastards… What we don’t need is a condescending, holier than thou, prototype Garth Crooks crossed with Rick from The Young Ones, who thinks he’s clever because he quotes Wolfgang von Goethe and William Shakespeare… And anyone who thinks this is about a wider issue would be daft… This is merely yet another ‘look at me, I’m clever’ pillock who is desperate to be noticed… Seen one, seen ’em all,,,
7
The big gag being that this smartarse plank is defending these Syrian savages, when IS is one of the most racist organisations on earth…. They don’t just dislike other races, creeds, or relgiions… These cunts want to brutally murder anyone who doesn’t agree with their demented doctrine… And we won’t even start on the misogyny and sexism that is rife in Islam… Recent events in Cologne and how Muslims treat their own women being just two examples…. TitSlappper is right when he says that the term racism is now a stick to beat white people with… You want quotes, I’ve got em…
“We would never get away with the things Public Enemy say and do. Why? Because we are white and English.” – Ian Brown (The Stone Roses), 1989.
2
Fair Dos to have a go at a smart arse cunt. But
All Africans are cunts…?
All immigrants are cunts…?
All Syrians are cunts…?
Fair Dos if it’s joking / tongue in cheek
There are some nasty cunts out there from every walk of life but not a whole country or race.
I’m a cunt. You’re a cunt. We’re all cunts. That’s why we’re here. I’m here for the funny cunt stuff, rather than the hating cunt stuff.
There, I’ve stuck my cunty head above the parapet, watch it get cunted off…
0
“Cuntinicity” – introduced by the legendary “Daisy” Sykes usually to describe senior figures associated with the Hong Kong Jockey Club. Examples of use: “High degree of cuntinicty”; “Cuntinicity abounds”.
This is my own: “Flagricunt”: a cunt sprayed in industrial-grade aftershave. Many males from SE Europe (Greece, Cyprus, large swathes of Turkey) are “Flagricunts”.
0
Cunt o’clock – Time for some lovely sex.
Cuntess – A high society Cunt of the female persuasion
Cuntest – Any form of competition or contest between a pair or group of Cunts
Cuntestant – A Cunt taking part in a competitive activity, whether it be sporting, a quiz, a show etc.
Cuntext – The set of circumstances or facts that surround a particular use of Cunt
Cuntichops – A bit of a cheeky chappie Cunt (e.g. Olly Murs)
Cuntilocks – A bonny lass, albeit a bit of a fussy bitch, who doesn’t like it too soft or too hard, but wants it just right
Cuntipede – A many legged Cunt or a derogatory term for an insect like Cunt
Cuntmeister General – Head Honcho Cunt, Ultimate Cunt
Cuntography – Written text discussing Cunts and their cuntitude
Cuntologist – An expert in the Cunt field
Cuntology – The study or knowledge of Cunts
Cuntopedia – A compendium of Cunt knowledge
Cuntophile – A very strong liking of, or friendship with Cunts
Cuntophobe – An irrational fear or hatred of Cunts
Excommunicunted – To deprive a Cunt the right of fellowship or socialisation with other Cunts
Expense Accunt – A Cunt Kitty i.e. funds put aside explicitly for the purpose of renting illicit clunge
Geoffrey Chaucer – Author of ‘The Cunterbury Tales’, a story about a bunch of travelling Pilgrim Cunts holding a story telling cuntest
Night of the living Cunts – Cult horror flik where a bunch of Cunts come back from the dead
Scrcuntch – A wrinkly muff
Scunthorpe – A place full of Cunts
The Good the Cunt and the Ugly – A classic Cunt western / cowboy Cunt flik
Top Cunt – A Cunt who happens to be a first class aviator e.g. Tom Cruise
Triumphcunt – A victorious Cunt e.g. The winning cuntestant in a cuntest is a triumphcunt
William Shakespeare – Most prodigious author of Cunt literature in England – titles include: A Midsummer Nights Cunt, The Taming of the Cunt, The Cunt of Venice, The Merry Cunts of Windsor, King Cunt and many more
5
Hahaha well played sir
1
Great stuff, Obi Wan….
Shere Cunt (or Khunt) – A badass tiger that eats people
The Incredible Cunt – A cunt who turns green and roars a lot if provoked
Crosby Stills Nash & Cunt – Aging hippy supergroup, augmented by whinging Canadian cunt
The Cunt Awakens – An already milked to death sci-fi film franchise noe resurrected to make even more cash
Kunt Cobain – Miserable cunt and arguably the most overrated rock musician in history
Achcunt Baby – Allbum made by supreme cunt (Bono) and his band, U2
1
Thanks – that’ll keep me busy after the jet lag wears off…
1
Cuntilocks! Absolutely inspired Sir; you are a true Jedi Cunt.
1
Cuntery: cunt-like behaviour.
2
Cuntification: ubiquitous use of the word cunt or cunt-like behaviour.
1
Cuntify: 1) identify someone to be a cunt
2) create new definitions for words containing the syllable “cunt”.
2
Omnicunt: A cunt who radiates cuntitude in every aspect of their being. e.g. Tony Blair
4
Cuntryfile: A television programme about the cuntryside, featuring cunts from your local area, presented by well-known cunts such as Matt Baker, Helen Skelton and shouty cunt John Craven
0
One Cunt & His Dog: another television programme set in the cuntryside showcasing the remarkable bond between cunt and canine…the pair are set the task of herding a flock of cuntankerous sheep around a cuntishly challenging course. The duo completing this in the shortest time are thus declared the Prize Cunts.
0
Cuntankerous: particularly cunty.
1
Cuntrol Freak: an obsessive cunt
1