Sympathy votes

There’s a phrase going round at the moment, its “soft bigotry of low expectations”. It means identifying someone as a part of a disadvantaged group, and compensating for that disadvantage by treating them differently.

Its like what we used to call the “sympathy vote” and it’s looked down upon for good reason. It doesn’t help.

Now I have just seen a clip of the Britains Got Talent winner crowned tonight, Lost Voice Guy. To call it cringeworthy would be the understatement of the year. It’s a disabled guy with no voice using a computer to tell jokes, shit jokes that aren’t very funny. But you wouldn’t know it looking at the reactions of Ant, Dec, Simon Coward and the other presenters. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes as material not good enough for most local comedy clubs was fawned and guffawed over as if it were one of the funniest things that had been uttered this decade. You could literally tell that they were putting it on. I tell you, if there is a god he is sick in the fucking head!

So this guy won, simply because he is disabled. Personally, I think disabled people should be given the same moral latitude as the able bodied for the most part, and I have done so with those that I have known in my life. If they are nasty or attention seeking, I don’t like them. If they are funny or interesting, I do. This guy seems like a lot of comedians, probably lonely with the need for attention, with a bit of a spark. But he wasn’t very funny, definitely below average. But he is disabled, so barely amusing suddenly becomes bowel-tearingly hilarious.

How does the sympathy vote help him? How does it help other disadvangaged groups? It doesn’t, it helps those giving the sympathy, who ideas of doing something good and emotional self-indulgence are obviously confused.

What I saw tonight was painful to watch. To see grown up adult famous people actively and obviously pretend to laugh at something because they thought they ought to is nausiating. But he won. This happened several times and people voted with phones and stuff. This is how far this sympathetic indulgence has gone, to the point of painfully obvious public self-deception, of millions of people.

Where the fuck will it end?

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

The Human Race

I would like to cunt the entire human race including me I suppose for being nothing more than parasites living on the face of this planet and even with our so called high intelligence are fucking it up for every other living creature at the same time.

Picture the whale that just died after swallowing over 80 plastic bags full of human waste and slowly poisoning the poor fucker. In the meantime our government is making us pay through the fucking nose for supposedly tackling the problem while 70% of the rest of the world continue to pollute land sea and sky as fast as Flabbott could empty a KFC family wwbucket.

Sorry, the human species is a complete cunt and Mother Nature will win in the not too distant future and send us back to the dust from where we came.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Phillip Lee MP

I’m nominating Philip Lee, Tory MP for Bracknell. Lee has just resigned as Justice Minister so that he can properly engage in the now Holy cause of stopping Brexit. Yes, Lee is that most tiresome of creatures, a remainer (Remainus Arseholeus in Latin). I don’t know how much time Lee spent considering his position, but it seems that while he was thinking about resigning, he forgot to tell his wife. She was there for the announcement, and by all accounts, she was more surprised than most.

During his resignation speech, Lee said;

“I am incredibly sad to have had to announce my resignation as a minister in Her Majesty’s Government so that I can better speak up for my constituents and country over how Brexit is currently being delivered.”

A curious thing to say, considering he’s a close friend of fellow remainer Dominic Grieve, and would love nothing more than to see Brexit killed off completely. I particularly like the bit about “speaking up for my constituents”. If he actually did that, he would have to change his mind on Brexit, because 53.9% of his constituents voted to leave the EU. Considering most MP’s couldn’t give a flying rat’s fuck about their constituents, I very much doubt he’ll be speaking up for anyone but himself.

Apparently, Lee has delusions of becoming the next Tory party leader, and curiously, a number of placards have suddenly appeared with his mug on them and the slogan; “Philip Lee, A Great British Hero”. Wait, what? A great British Hero? No, Philip. Winston Churchill was a Great British Hero. Horatio Nelson was a Great British Hero. What you are, is an anti-democratic turd. You’re a puffed, self-important twat. If you were a bird, you’d be a Great Tit! Actually, you already are a tit. There’s more chance of Usain Bolt smashing the world 100 metre record dressed in a spacesuit and stilettos than there is of Lee becoming Tory leader.

There is, potentially, a happy ending to this. It seems that he has upset his constituency Tory party, and they are now considering deselecting him. It won’t happen straight away, unfortunately, but come the next election, he almost certainly won’t be standing as the Tory candidate. That’s what you get for being a cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Dead Pool [96]

Congratulations again to Shaun (i.e me) who has won the Deadpool again by picking the murderer web cam wanker and soapstar Leslie Grantham whoat 71 is the latest dead cunt.Grantham served 10 years in prison for shooting a taxi driver in the head but still managed to land the role of Dirty Den in Eastenders in 1985.After four years Dirty Den was killed off except he returned 14 years later with those famous lines “Hello Princess”.He was killed off again two years later after the tabloids published a story about him sucking his finger on webcam and masturbating while slagging off fellow cast members while impersonating captain hook.(Let`s hope he wanked with the right hand).He moved to Bulgaria popping up on TV screens over there but had recently filmed a movie about the Krays called Dead Man Walking which is kind of ironic.

Anyway On to Deadpool 96:

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck

My picks (Shaun)

Charles Krauthammer
Stefan Karl Stefannson
Matt Cappotelli
Begum Kulsoom Nawaz Sharif
John McCain

Graham Linehan

Graham Linehan is a cunt…

Apart from being a total left wing snowflake remainer tosspot (I know: what the fuck has Brexit got to do with him? He’s fucking Irish!), this whopper has decided to shit on/ruin/cash in on the admittedly great Father Ted… Linehan, that other bloke and that Divine Comedy person are doing a musical called ‘Pope Ted’ and Linehan describes it as the proper last episode of Father Ted…. Only one problem with that: Dermot Morgan is sadly dead, and has been for twenty years…

Frank Kelly (the legendary Father Jack) is also now gone… How can you have Father Ted without Ted himself and Jack? What a load of cunt…

Nominated by Norman