Windows 10

The deplorable fucking mess that is Windows 10, ‘given out’ for free from old Philanthropist Bill Gates, to force the masses to adopt Windows 10, taking peoples retails keys and exchanging them for oem, yes, when you upgrade your system your key will no longer work.

With Windows 10 you don’t need to worry about getting malware any more, you already have the most data thirsty malware ever created.

Windows is not so much an operating system as it is a fucking service, a service that tracks every thing, every file, every keystroke, every email, every website, every search and so on.
like that nosy neighbour next door who has to come and see what you are doing every time you go in to the garden, Windows 10 is there hoovering up everything.

It is a front-end for the mighty fucking app store, a way to get you to buy an app to do something that Windows 7 did for free.

I never took ‘advantage’ of the free upgrade, I could see it for what it was, a power grab over to Microsofts new model, harvest all the data, sell it and get mug punters to buy endless apps.

So now Windows 7 has essentially been destroyed by Spectre & Meltdown I had to upgrade to Windows 10. (I have software and hardware that requires Windows FFS)
So did I go out and spend £100 to let Microsoft steal all my data? Did I fuck, I pirated Windows 10 Enterprise which does not have apps, cortana, tracking, onedrive (cloud), forced updates every day and you can actually disable 95% of their data harvesting.

So thank you Bill Gates for my free copy of Enterprise LTSB 1607, I pirated Win98 and Winxp but actually paid for win7 as it was only £40. But fucked if I am paying £100 for Windows 10 home or £140 for Windows 10 pro when you are harvesting that much data and have full control of the system.

Fucking jog on Gates, you speccy twat

Nominated by Steve Jobs corpse

Panic Buying

A nomination for all the cunts who went panic buying last week just before the 24hr snowmaggedon was predicted to hit the UK and wipe out all civilisation as we know it.

I popped to my local superstore today (Monday) thinking that as the whilst stuff had pretty much melted away and gone by Saturday evening and the road network was functioning again by Sunday, this would leave plenty of time for staff to return to work, stocks to be transported and shelves re-stocked. After all this is not Russia in the 1980’s is it?

How wrong could I be, no sliced bread, not a crumb. Milk. None exists, apart from the coloured water (Red Top). Bottled water, empty shelves. Butter and spreads, only large size tubs of lard seemed to be left.

What do these cunts think, they are going to be snowed in for a month with no prospect of salvation? It’s not Siberia you cunts, it’ll be raining in a day or two and all back to normal.

On the plus side, plenty of Cider on offer😉

Nominated by LeonardoDiCunty

Modern slang

Modern phrases that grind your gears and make you want to kill.

I think we can all contribute to this thread as there are so many of them. My current favourite is “My Bad”. A work colleague said that to me the other day by way of an apology for her fuck up.

I just wanted to grab her around the throat and say:
“Listen Mrs, you are a 55 year old white Englishwoman….. you are not a south central Los Angeles gangbanger wearing an oversized white t-shirt, a reverse baseball cap with your strides hanging halfway down your arse and you never fucking will be, Stop being “down with the kids” ( another expression that pisses me off ) and act your fucking age before everyone realises you are a thick as shit cunt.”

But I didn’t. Over to you Ladies and Gentlemen.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

My Bad? You axe me? Mah homies? Nucular?
Hand me the fucking flamethrower Martha and fire up the woodchipper.

Scenes from Aliens and Fargo dance in my head whenever I hear the movie stars, rap shit and worst of all ‘Mericunt politicians talking like this on the TV.

Movie stars you can forgive a bit ‘cos they only read what some other dipshit has written,rap stars ‘cos they can’t read or write. You just can’t forgive politicians because they’re all cunts anyway and probably say it on purpose to get the moron vote.

Don’t even get me started on the Sports Commentators who say ” they podiumed again this year” or “they were expecting to medal”
I’d run out of fuel before I got finished !

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

I would like to nominate for a cunting the buzz words and phrases used by the liberals and the leftie right on snowflakes, there are probably dozens of the fuckers.

Some of them hit my wind up button, for instance , ‘community’ when used by councils and social workers, ‘inappropriate’ used to end a discussion and uncomfortable, how the twats feel when they don’t like your views. Even typing them has made me annoyed.

Oh yes ‘campus’ – a school near me is titled as a “community fucking campus” what the fuck is wrong with “school”. Community champion is another phrase winds me up.

Nominated by Civvydog

White flag defeatists.

After being ill for the last month I now feel ready to recommence cunting. I know this as I have started shouting at the television again and pointing my finger at various characters as they appear whilst informing my wife that said characters are despicable cunts. This upsets her but I have to vent. Anyway, enough of this waffle, let’s get cunting.

I would like to nominate defeatists for an out and out Churchillian cunting. You know who I’m talking about, the bastards who wave the white flag as their first and only option.

Now there are many of these in the media spotlight that we can all think of, but what about the anonymous, under the radar, man / woman in the street ? There are probably multitudes of them. Two that I’m thinking of are a couple that me and my wife know. My wife regards them as friends, I am wary of people that want to be friends, they invariably turn out to be cunts. Having said that I can be sociable for the occasional evening drink or meal, that is until the EU referendum. When they found out that me and my wife had voted leave they were absolutely shocked, now I don’t mind folk having a contrary view to mine as long as they don’t get hysterical, I’m all for reasoned debate, you won’t change my mind but you can try. He was reasonable but she lost it big time, started going on about racists and leavers being thick and selfish (no doubt thinking about her snowflake granddaughter who is now apparently ashamed to be British….pathetic ). We had a frosty exchange and she back pedalled like mad. She is now in a stop brexit , have another referendum, sulky democracy denial type mood. I asked her why she just couldn’t accept the result and get behind the decision and do her bit to make the most of the opportunity that leave presents, her answer was breathtaking. She reckons we’re not capable of prospering as an independent country because we can’t do anything without someone guiding us and telling us what to do. In short, she has swallowed project fear hook line and sinker, as has her husband. All they can see is a dystopian future in which we wither and waste away, this from people who like me have lived in a time when we weren’t in the EU. They have total faith in the likes of Juncker and Tusk and are utterly depressed at our leaving the corrupt anti democratic fourth reich that is the EU. Now anyone with any sense should know that brexit isn’t going to be a cakewalk, there’s a lot of hard work ahead for politicians, industry and the population as a whole, but if everyone pulls together we can achieve results. What it takes is backbone, guts, tenacity, pig headedness, innovation, creativity and hard work, qualities that I believe this country still has, not waving the white fucking flag. So our backs will be against the wall, the eurocunts won’t do us any favours. But you know what ? When your back’s against the wall there’s only one way to go. I don’t own a white flag, so fuck the defeatists, no surrender.

Nominated by Jack The Cunter.

Commercial Radio

Commercial Radio stations are Cunts.
These dreadful excuses for entertainment have been the bane of my life, as they have been forced on me for the majority of my working years. How the fuck anyone would listen to them of their own volition is way beyond me. Be it national, or a local radio station, there is little difference. All DJs are cunts, granted, but the low hanging fruit that populate these instruments of torture are the type of cunt you would love to see when reading an obituary column.

The music they play is usually the worst pop music from the last thirty years, and they will play the same shit song, at the same time, every fucking day. If you hear a song, and you hate it instantly, say, something that one of Cowells no mark pricks has recorded, then you know that it will be going into the shit loop of dross that these wankers play. Forever.

So, that’s the music, and the presenters sorted, so it’s on to the main event. The adverts. All adverts are solid cunt, we all agree. They are usually targeted at the lowest common denominator. But with commercial radio, that bar is set a lot lower, as their target audience is the lowest of the low, in both taste and intelligence. This means that the adverts you hear on the radio are possibly in contravention of the Geneva convention, such is the torture involved in listening to them. From that fucking pound shop Jason Manford clone who fronts the plusnet ads, PPI claims scum, Tool shops (you know the ones I’m talking about), fucking local hero dot fucking com, I despise them all, with every fibre of my being. You know that the ads are for the base level of humanity, as most of them have some cunt whistling in the theme tune. So, fuck the radio, fuck the cunts who work for them, fuck the cunts who advertise on them, and fuck those who listen to them.

But most of all, fuck the cunts who make me listen to them!

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye