Coronoviral Shit


We all agree that it’s a bit of a cunt that’s gonna run and run, so by popular request here’s a page where you can fill yer boots about the BBC (Big Bad Coronavirus) and all things related to it.

With a nice scare mongering trailer to get you in the mood.( – Panic buying of toilet paper) 

A real time tracker to see if you are dead or not!

Followed by the official UK Gov tracker.

638 thoughts on “Coronoviral Shit

  1. My piss is at nuclear levels on the boiling range. My sister just popped round and what she had to say made my tits explode.

    She is a Chartered Accountant and one of her clients is Bulgarian and has high up connections in the Bulgarian government. This ‘insider’ told her that China had the first cases of Covid-19 emerge way back in OCTOBER 2019 and kept that information under their fucking coolie hats, the utter cunts.

    Although one would be inclined to think that this is (pardon the pun) Chinese whispers shite, I am inclined to believe that this is very true, It is just the kind of thing that those unscrupulous cunts WOULD keep to themselves and not let the world know about it.

    I don’t know if this is old news or not, but it is news to me and I am fuming!

    KUNG FU ARSEHOLES!!

    • Don’t worry Nurse C! They’re about to get it back in spades. It’s predicted that Chinese who are returning from Europe are about to introduce a second wave of the virus to China. Please let it be so!

      • China’s bound to see a second wave. Even totalitarian wankers can’t stay locked down enough for long enough to avoid this one.

        I smell bullshit in their *no new domestic cases” wank too.

          • Chink citizens have been prevented from catching the virus by the application of a 9mm lead projectile to the back of the head.

            No new cases – communist style

            Chairman Mao would be proud…

        • That was my immediate reaction too, Cuntypops. Soon as I saw that on the news I thought ‘I bet that is a load of shit….having no new cases’. They want the world to believe now that they have successfully dealt with the virus like they are a fucking superior nation and heroes or something……when they are the ones who spewed it out into the world. TOSSERS!!

          • who knows maybe they have taken bat off the menu, covid19 has done for bat what Edwina Curry did for eggs!

    • Evening Nurse.
      I think that if only half the truth about the Chinese and Covid-19 ever gets out, the call will go up to nuke the bastards.

      • Evening Ron. Definitely. Sneaky bastards.

        I reckon that the big orange muppet in the White House would have his finger straight on the button! He loves a bit of drama!

      • We should nuke fuck out of them anyway… And every cunt who has ever done an advert on Chinese TV (like Peter Phliips or Scarlett Johansscunt) should get the Mussolini treatment for being a dirty collaborator….

      • Indeed RTC. You would think that they would feel some sense of responsibility to inform the outside world, but clearly not.

        • If nothing else you’d have thought they would want to protect their customer base. Socialists have zero business acumen.

    • Probably true but it doesn’t matter at all because nations did nothing to stop this virus. Didn’t close borders to China when we could have in January onwards, 10 days ago you could still travel from hotspots in Italy and walk through a UK airport without any extra checks whatsoever as at that point our useless governments policy was still ‘herd immunity’

      • True, Shagga.

        Things have certainly blown up in our faces mighty fast when we could have been clamping down on protecting ourselves from the minute this Cuntvirus was known about.

        • And the conspiracy theories are coming thick and fast. Chinkos let a bat escape from their bioweapons facility…
          They’ve known about it since last summer but have desperately been trying to keep the lid on it…
          Chinese military has done it deliberately; it’s too ‘novel’ a virus to have evolved naturally…

          It’s enough to make you piss yourself in panic.
          Bastards.

          • in that case look up rabbit island japan. that was a defunct chemical warfare lab where the rabbits escaped after the second world war.
            As Bio warfare medium I think flies are probably a better bet than bats any way

    • I really have hope now of anti-viral treatments and a vaccine soon.

      Apparently scientists have harvested the antibodies of someone who fought off SARS 1 and think it will neutralise this SARS 2. Here’s hoping.

      And yes the Chinese are megacunts for being cruel to animals and covering this up.

      • in fairness to the chinks I am surprised they have not been live testing on prisoners.
        It is not as if they have an issue with human rights.

  2. If this bat flu had been in China in 1970, 1980 or even 1990 we would have heard virtually fuck all about it… Of course the EU and that Satan’s spunkststain Blair changed everything and we’ve been paying for it one way or another ever since… Freedom of movement, my fucking arse… It’s done no good, no way, no how….

  3. I think our esteemed website might have missed a trick here.

    Why not start a Corona Pool? Guess the next celeb to publicly declare they have the plague. Similar rules to The Deal Pool, except Shaun can’t go first every single fucking time.

  4. The supermarkets have just ramped up the Fear, announcing that the next stage of shortages will be if producers in the supply chain have staff calling in sick. Yeah thanks for that completely unhelpful announcement, now people will be queuing from 4am. I bet they’re fucking loving this, food retailers are the new gods, ASDA is our Temple, Morrisons is now more valuable than Microsoft.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB_Lj_CddOQ

      • If cunts can’t shop sensibly, then it’s time to bring back rationing.
        It’ll work wonders for fat cunts too.
        Couldn’t get any milk or chicken today.
        Get To Fuck.

        • My grandmother would have scoffed at these stockpiling vermin… After the depression, being bombed by the Krauts, rationing, smog, and the Winters of 47 and 63, she’d have told these cunts that they were soft as shite and selfish as fuck…

          And rightly so….

      • “I saw a report from Italy, the shops are full no one is panic buying”….

        funny how an oxygen tent & not being able to breathe ruins your appetite for spag bol….

  5. I’m at the point where I’m just tired and bored of this mass hysteria, project fear bollocks.
    I feel like loading up the motor with essential supplies (except the selfish bastards have bought everything) and fucking off to a bothy in the Scottish borders to “self-isolate” away from everyone else….
    …In 3 months time I’ll probably end up some fucking weird cunt like Laurence Fishburne’s character in Predators, if that hasn’t already happened!

  6. Its Friday night and my repose in bed fucking about on the computer has just been disturbed by the usual group of late teen/twenty something morons off to the boozer. Well the fuckers won’t be doing that tomorrow night.

    Expect large increase in Friday and Saturday night parties because these thick cunts just won’t be told.

    The fuckers deserve to catch the dreaded lurgy and die. Trouble is the fuckers will infect the likes of us first. Selfish thick feral bastards…

  7. Photos of that cuntflap doing the rounds online that “they’re” not happy and “them “ are crying….what the fuck!!! Cuntlebrities like “these” need to catch this flu Manchu and die quick!!! Oh….and these panic buying cunttops need a cerebral m.o.t with a hammer repeatedly stroke against their cuntal cortex !!! Cunts !!!

  8. Fuck me! If they close the pubs that means the panic buying cunts will be clearing out all the booze.
    I’m in big fucking trouble now. Fuck you Boris! 😭

  9. Heard there was a woman in Aldi yesterday with 80, fucking eighty, tins of tomatoes! Cashier called Manager who took 76 tins back to the shelves… Anger eruption right there as the selfish bitch kicked off… Whoever this slag is, I hope her fucking cunt explodes…

  10. 4,000 people have now died of China virus in Italy. I remember some people were, and still are, brushing off this virus and suggesting we just let in run rampant, letting the weak die. It’s a bit different when people really start dying.

    • As shocking as that sounds about 1600 people die in Italy (and the UK for that mater) every single day and that’s typical higher between November and March. If you read the stats on those who have died “from coronavirus” very few did not have preexisting medical conditions.

      Consequently if they have been identified as having coronavirus that is being touted in the death toll. Problem with that is without looking at all of the factors at play there’s insufficient context.

      This link provides some interesting reading

      https://swprs.org/a-swiss-doctor-on-covid-19/

  11. Some Lefty libtards intend to defy Boris’ advice, and do whatever they fucking want!

    One suspects we’re not too far away from civil unrest leading to rioting in the streets. Which is exactly what the Far Left/Momentum will be pushing for in order to destabilise this government forcing it to ramp up enforcement via martial law in this country – and more specifically the big cities!

    No doubt the Far Left will be hoping lots of old people die and/or hoping the electorate become disenfranchised/disillusioned with Boris that it will bring about another election, which they hope will be a win for Labour, however unlikely!

    Give it 2 weeks and I reckon we will have troops on the streets, and the Left screaming “fascism!” at every opportunity on Twatbook and Shitter.

    • I say get them out now. The paras would be my preference. To man supermarket panic buying.

      They let any cunt check out with their multi-buys, remove all but two of whatever item(s) they’re hording, and tell them that they are going back on the shelf, and no they WON’T be getting a refund, and to be a hell of a lot more considerate in the future!

      Any argument gets the butt end of an SA 80 in the face, and whilst unconscious on the floor, ALL their goods put back on the shelves. No refund. All with HM Govt’s blessing in this time of “disparate need”.

      I don’t want to see a police/military state but if people won’t police themselves and act responsibly, then so be it. Most people are lemming weak, and so a few well publicised “short, sharp, shock” incidents from a group of squaddies (trained to deal with the worst the world has to offer), across lamestream and (anti)social media would be enough to keep the “soy weak state” in line!

      Decent folk won’t be doing this anyway and will probably cheer if some “ME! ME! ME!” hipster, chippy type or “peaceful”, gets theirs for being a cunt!

      I can hear the applause ringing out from stores all over the country now! Good!

      • The army will be needed to protect hospitals and supply depots. Not sure they’re needed for half-wits on the streets. A few riot police with gas will be enough to send Tarquin and Jocasta to bed.

  12. I like this bloke’s stuff, but his new “thrash metal” intro grates after a bit, so please feel free to skip to 20s in the video below and watch how “our greatest strength” is profiteering/behaving at the whole nation’s expense:

    https://youtu.be/p-5_eDgIDzg

    Needless to say, the “peaceful” shop owners are taking the piss (even more than their usual 25% hike on ordinary goods at the best of times). £6 for a 50p hand sanitiser gel (1,100% increase), 4 piss poor rolls of arsewipe – usually overpriced at £1.99 – now £10 (400% increase), and a hand-soap – usually £1.50 – now £23.99 (tipping the scales at a 1,500% increase).

    This vermin (because that is what they are, they live like rats and are a fucking plague on our nation – deport, deport) may have the upper hand now, but I would urge all cunters to avoid these fucker’s shops – even if that means having to wait til Monday morning for your tabs, or missing out on a Sunday night 4-pack cos those cunts are the only fuckers open after 4pm!

    If you’re that desperate, find and use your local Co-op. Most are open until 10pm every day and while certain things may be a few pence more expensive, they’re not tens of pounds more expensive!

    Fucking rob-dogging, “peaceful” bastards! I bet their “kommoonity” gets normal fucking prices! Cunts!

    And following on this trend on how our society has been soooo enriched with the “greatest strength” of “peacefulness”, at time index 2:00, all you can see is Burka after Burka. These cunts are literally waiting at the supermarket storeroom door for the stuff to come out (not waiting for sanitary products I’m betting – unless it’s to resell at n,000% mark-up o’course).

    Now everyone who is panic buying for no good reason is a cunt (the supply chain is fine – the only thing that will affect the supply chain is panic buying – IDIOTS!) but these uber-cunts can’t even let the stuff make it to the shelves before descending on it like a plague of locusts! Please note the behaviour, exactly like what you see on TV when a food/aid lorry turns up in whatever shithole these cunts are from: everyone for themselves, grab, grab, fucking grab!

    Contrast that with the restrained and polite queues we saw in Fukushima after they had a nuclear incident. Everyone was patient, knowing that there was enough to go around providing folk didn’t go nuts. Chalk and cheese compared to our “imported” cockroaches’ behaviour!

    Then skip to time index 2:55 where a store is trying to impose the shopping times exclusivity to allow the elderly to get their things before the vultures circle and strip the place bare. O’course that’s not good enough for auld Masambula here, giving the much smaller security guard a raw deal, who – to be fair – stands his ground, even when the chippy cunt gets within 1″ of his face. So much for social distancing, eh!

    This is the difference between “high trust” and “low trust” societies. Unfortunately our open door immigration policy for over 23yrs now has allowed far too many cunts in from “low trust” societies, and we – the native peoples of the UK – suffer for it, and especially during a time like this, where our already stretched social services and resources are now stretched thinner than the skin covering Keira Knightley’s rib-cage!

    When this shit is resolved, the whole country needs to take a look at itself and decide: “Do we really want this? Do we really want this behaviour to happen again in the future? Do we really want an increase of ‘low trust’ individuals, and individuals with whom we have nothing in common, into our society?”

    Or do we want to reduce it? No doubt the 2021 census will be glossed over during this time as being pointless in this time of crisis by the powers that be. I say that this is exactly the right time because the demographic shift between 2011 and now will be startling. There has already be calls – by all mainstream parties – that taking the 10 yearly census is a “waste of time and money”. Monetary wise it is a pittance. What they’re really scared of is the indigenous people realising: “Holy fuck! It’s as bad as that!”

    None of the mainstream parties will go anywhere near the subject of repatriation but – unless we do want to become a minority in our only homeland, and be at the mercy of a majority of “low trust” individuals – then it really is a subject that needs serious consideration.

    We are not talking forcing folk out at gunpoint here, instead we can immediately deport all the illegals in the country – they shouldn’t be here anyway, fuck off! Any fucker who is already on the deportation list (like two groomy fuckers who’ve been on “deportation” for 18 months now, so that’s working…), and any criminal who is not a citizen of the UK.

    Any other cunt we can make it economically attractive to fuck off. We will give them – say – £15,000 per person to repatriate to their homeland. If that’s a family of 4 then that would be £60,000 + a free ticket home – which isn’t an inconsiderable amount in whatever shithole they come from. More than enough for them to make a good start back home and make *their* country a better place to be (instead of bitching about how bad our country is, all the while with their hands out).

    Yes it will cost a lot of money but I say, can we afford not to?

    The only emerging party (and that includes Anne Marie Waters’ For Britain Party) that is making this a serious part of their manifesto is Patriotic Alternative. Now I have some differences of opinion with these guys but they are the only ones advocating for the indigenous peoples of this green and pleasant land.

    Listen to the is speech given by Laura Towler (N.B. it’s not the “Play” link at the very top of the page, it’s the one below her picture immediately below where it says “Patriotic Alternative Conference: Laura Towler – PA 0314205”):

    https://www.radioalbion.com/2020/03/patriotic-alternative-conference-laura.html

    There is nothing in there that most of BoJo’s 2019 voting pool would disagree with.

    No, they can’t become a “big” national party by 2025 but – just as UKIP before them – with enough support (local elections, etc.), it might prick up the ears of the Tories, in order to pull the Overton window back a bit more to the right.

    Let’s face it, the Tories are a “cucked” to the left party now. Liebour and the LibDems are rocketing to the left, with degeneracy and extolation of everything non-British as their cross to die on. The Tories are heading in that same direction but at the “speed limit”. We need to pull the fuckers back a bit.

    The borders are closing (I hope), and when they open again we should only allow people in from “high trust” societies and who have the necessary points tally.

    No more multiple languages signposting everything. It’s in English (and in the Principality – Welsh). Can’t speak the language? Tough! Wanna live and work here (cos work you fucking will)? Learn the language and THEN come here!

    No more handouts for non UK citizens. Sorry, you want money, please feel free to earn it. Can’t earn it? Well back home for you then matey.

    Want to become a UK citizen? Ok, are you from a “high trust” society (and we get to define what “high trust” is)? If no, then sorry, we don’t want you. Can you speak English? If no, then sorry, we don’t want you. Are you educated to bachelor level degree or higher? If no, then sorry, we don’t want you. Are you self-sufficient and have enough monetary wealth to support yourself should you lose employment – because you’re getting fuck all benefits wise until you’ve paid into the system for a minimum 5yrs (of continuous employment)? If no, then sorry, we don’t want you. Do you have a guaranteed job offer which gives you an annual salary of £40k+? If no, then sorry, we don’t want you.

    Basically, we don’t want you, but if you can convince us of YOUR benefit to OUR state, then we’ll consider it. Or… you could simply try another country?

    Cunts!

    • Nice Cunting Rebel.

      Paying unemployed people of foreign descent to leave is cheap even in the short-term. All the benefits a person can claim, plus their cost to the state in other ways, far outstrip £15k in a year. And any cunt of foreign descent would probably take repatriation over time in prison – a simple choice: serve half your sentence then leave, or stay and do the whole thing – they’ll be begging to leave. It can all be done, and done lawfully & democratically, if the will is there.

    • A further thought, we give £15bn annually to countries in foreign aid – for doing absolutely fuck all than being basket cases. We should be taking THAT money and using it to bribe cunts here to leave, they can effectively take the foreign aid with them and spend it in those recipient countries in their shops and accommodation etc over there. If the other country won’t accept them, they’ll be enough from that same budget as a bung, otherwise they can fuck off and we’ll keep our foreign aid here.

  13. The Guardian were being mega cunts today sayong that Boris is a joke and out of his depth and we’d be better off with his Brown or Major or even, God forbid, Theresa May.

    What fucking planet are these cunts on?

    May or Boris? Hammond or Sunak? Tough choice…

    McDonut says Sunak is being irresponsible spending all this piblic dosh. He seems to have conveniently forgotten his own manifesto.

    Still, there’s always Sir Keir or Wrong-Daily waiting in the wongs to sort it all out.

    Fucking wankers…

    • Whatever he does, Boris could not do right in some of these cunt’s eyes. If he disregarded people and businesses that are struggling financially, they would say he is a typical Tory cunt who doesn’t give a shit about the little people, so he tries to give monetary support and gets accused of frittering away money.

      This kind of point scoring and criticism at a hellish time like now is the lowest of the low. What is wrong with that fucking rag of a newspaper? One good thing is that if bog roll really becomes impossible to find, I know what I will replace it with……fucktards.

      • Same with Corbyn Nurse. He has written to the Prime Minister not about ventilators or PPE or how front line staff can get food or a strategy to stop panic buying or something practical like that. No, he goes on about ‘the most vulnerable in our society’ and how they will be paid. The same old point scoring at a time like this. What a fool of a man he is.
        Hope you’re bearing up.

        • Sorry for the late reply, Miles.

          I’m bearing up ok thanks, albeit a bit stir crazy in the House of Cunty. I am in isolation here with my 79 year old parents, only going out once a week to do a big shop (if I can fucking find something to buy, that is)

          The Gestapo…..oops sorry, I meant my sister, has informed me that I need to stay at home as much as possible to reduce the chances of bringing back any lurgy to Mum and Dad. (Thanks for that Claire. Had you not told me that, I never would have known…….bloody pain in the arse)

          Hope you and yours are doing ok and stay well!

    • Typical of Labour and the Left. It’s all very easy to throw stones when you’re in opposition and have no power or responsibilities to worry about.

      Instead, they just throw shite from the lowest hanging branches, hoping it will somehow destabilize the government.

      Whatever Boris tries to do to alleviate the crisis it will never be enough for cunts like the Guardian or the BBC.

      Boris has probably had plenty of advice from top scientific and medical advisors, and consulted with prime ministers and presidents from around the world.

      What has Steptoe got? Wikipedia, Twatter and the ramblings from nobodies in the Guardian.

  14. on UK stats it is showing that london owns almost 1/2 active cases in the UK, now that would I assume be the international group hug remainer portion, and migrants hot bedding it in slums.
    Well yes I expect there will be civil unrest, I am imagining that there will be a number of fatalities too.
    I am just wondering what the Police will do with a Covid19+ rioter, chuck them in the van with the rest of them? not sure but this will most certainly hit the prison population very soon.

    • “this will most certainly hit the prison population very soon”

      Good – thin the numbers of cunts & stop the mamby pambys crying about over-crowding.
      I’ll sleep peacefully knowing there are fewer murderers, rapists & thieving cunts around that we are keeping fed & watered.

      Chuck grandpa Steptoe in the Scrubs & see how much he loves the cunts then, the useless old wanker

  15. It’s just one horror story after another, isn’t it?
    I was mortified to learn from ‘Hello’ magazine that the Queen has received some ‘devasting news’ as a result of the coronavirus crisis. The Royal Windsor Horse Show has been cancelled. What a cross to have to bear.

  16. My best mate in the UK just pinged me to say the new Doom video game is really good. Very violent and all that. I’d completely forgotten it was coming out so like a good boy, I mozied on over to bastard Amazon (US) to check it out. They claim it’s the #1 best seller but they don’t have any. Next stock arrivals April 5 to 18.

    I have never seen a new game sell out on bastard Amazon before. I guess the new WFH crowd are not actually WingFH after all. Cunts.

      • You’re not wrong, CP. I’m old school. I like to have the physical disc in my hand. Even though I work in IT, I’m not a fan of download this, stream that (for non-work related stuff). I need to have something tangible to show for my hard earned.

        I’m currently playing another game right now anyway, plus I have several games I haven’t played or even opened, so I’m not desperate to have the new Doom anyway. The last one was bollocks anyway. Too fucking dark – you couldn’t see anything.

        Believe it or not, I still have some original Xbox games I’ve never played. The Xbox One is a piece of shit if you ask me. A console should be simple, obvious and intuitive to use. XB1 is far from that. I could not actually get the latest COD to even work on it. I gave up in the end. Update after update after update. Then you HAVE to create an Activision account. Why FFS? Then it was forcing me to login to my MS account when I wanted to fire up the game because, it said, I was accessing “sensitive data”. So in other words, I have to ask MS’s permission to play a video game in my own home. WTF? That shit can fuck right off. I will not be dictated to by MS or a box of electronics. Not going to happen.

        Unfortunately, people like me who have zero interest in online games or multi-user this-that-or-the-other or Xbox Live (whatever that is) are being sidelined. I just want to slap in a game, fire it up and be shooting cunts in the head 30 seconds later – just me versus the game in campaign mode. These days that’s nigh on impossible. MS peaked with the Xbox 360 IMO. It’s simple and easy to navigate and is a games console first and foremost. The XB1 seems to be an all encompassing Blu-ray player, entertainment system, streaming movies, TV, music and god knows what else. And one small thing it can do is also play console games. Utter bullshit. I hate it.

        Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant. I should write that up as a nom. Not sure there are too many on here that give a rat’s arse about games consoles though.

    • That’s why our Empire was ultimately good for the world. To stop superstitious backwardness and replace it with civilisation.

  17. Yes, this is all very well but will my gender realignment to cabbage go ahead next week?

    will the experienced consultants be available in case I develop brassica rejection or will they all be in their bunkers?

    • Funnily enough, I read in the Express that some wannabe transgender cunt was moaning and complaining that the NHS wasn’t giving him sufficient support (read attention) , or a timetable for his operation given the current crisis.

      “Not good enough!” he wailed

  18. I went on the English Nursing Board and NHS websites to see what the story was about retired staff being asked back. My first thought was that the fuckers would struggle to locate me as I have moved house since my registration lapsed. My second thought was, ‘well, let’s see how to go about it’ as I have been giving it some thought and if straits are at their direst, I would go back into the fire of the NHS to help……

    But the stipulation is that they are only asking staff who have left within the last three years at the moment, but that may change. I have been out for 10 years.

    I get where they are coming from, but in some ways I do feel they are shooting themselves in the foot a bit here. Nursing is a a bit like riding a bike when it comes to the basics of nursing care like taking observations, giving IV meds, running through a bag of fluid, oxygen therapy, etc, etc. You never really forget that stuff and it comes back like second nature. But they just want people who are versed in any recent changes in practice and of course safety is paramount.

    Of course my thought of going back in this time of crisis went down like a lead balloon with my sister, who informed me that i live with my elderly parents and wouldn’t want to be exposed to the virus and bring it back home.

    Yes dear. I get that too, but if it winds up being for their greater good………I don’t fucking know. Anyway, the cunts don’t want my ancient old arse so for the moment, fuck it.

    • I’m hopeful the NHS are giving their workers the industrial masks those who work with asbestos and use grinders have to wear. Loose surgical masks are not designed to keep stuff our.

      • Hopefully they are, CP.

        I know when I was nursing infectious patients years ago, we had the duck-type masks to wear – FFP2 masks which filter out most crap.

        Yesterday, I saw a disturbing photo of a bunch of UK hospital staff wearing the standard surgical masks though. Very worrying.

    • I feel for you. You are on the horns of a dilemma. My daughter is a radiotherapist and social distancing is simply not an option. She has to get close to patients and coworkers.

      My wife and I are in the so called vulnerable group although we are are either side of the 70 year old cut off so the advice is that I can go out but she can’t. Duh…

      So daughter is in a high risk infection zone and we’re vulnerable. What should we do? Well I say apply common sense because at the end of the day she isn’t going to let people die of cancer just so she doesn’t get a particularly nasty bug.

      • Very wise words, Dioclese.

        It is indeed a tough one. I feel a pull to do whatever I can if the NHS are desperate for more help (when aren’t they, in all honesty) but at the same time I would be paranoid about putting my family at risk. I I had my own place and distance from family, I wouldn’t hesitate.

        I do hope your daughter is ok and stays healthy, and you and your wife too.

  19. My fucking cousin…..what a dumb arse.

    She took herself and her family – husband and daughters – off down to their ‘luxury caravan’ in West Sussex this weekend. It was clearly an absolutely crucial and essential trip…..what’s more, on MOTHER’S DAY, leaving her Mum at home with her other daughter for company (so at least she wasn’t totally abandoned on her special day)

    This boils my piss. My Auntie is 75 years old, recently widowed and still grieving. She isn’t getting much support during this whole Coronavirus shitstorm in terms of being helped with her shopping because, quite frankly, her daughters are both self-absorbed twats most of the time, it is Mother’s Day when you think that she would be a priority, but no. A trip to a chav caravan, on a chav caravan park, with a bunch of chav cunts who are not following advice and airing and sharing a potentially fatal virus, is more important.

    I am fuming.

    Boris, just bring on the complete lockdown, quick smart. The twats just don’t get it and want to carry on life as normal, without giving even the tiniest fuck about anyone else. FORCE THEM to stay at home. Get the Police to taser their arses if they don’t comply……cunts!

    • Basically, Boris is a liberal who would be mortified to have to use the police and army. I would imagine this is down to the free and easy upbringing the Johnsons will have experienced through life.
      A lockdown will come despite Johnson, not because of him. A curfew will happen in several days time but at the cost of how many more lives?

      • Very true, Bertie.

        I’m sure no country wants to bring in extreme measures like that, but it is for the good of everyone, not because they are being fascist cunts. I would hope most sane people would understand that, BoJo included.

        It is the public’s fault at the end of the day. If they can’t police themselves and show some restraint, they bring that on themselves. Plus, if the virus isn’t slowing, what choice is there but to go tough on it? Better to have a loss of freedom for some time than a loss of many lives.

  20. A lock down enforced by the Army will have to happen because Joe public is too thick & too bloody selfish to follow simple advice

    All I know is, that I have to ‘mute’ the TV when she’s on, as her droning stupid voice grinds my bloody gears.

    Also a cunting for that ITN cunt heckling Boris at the daily update – “Prime Minister I find the advice confusing. You say it’s ok to take children to the park, but have you ever tried to stop a 5 year old getting close to another child…”

    LISTEN DUMMIES, THERE’S A PANDEMIC YOU CUNTS.
    WATCH THE FUCKING NEWS. 2000 DEAD IN ITALY OVER JUST THE LAST 3 DAYS. IT’S COMING HERE NEXT.
    IF YOU’RE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO ISOLATE YOURSELVES THEN CATCH IT & TRY BREATHING – YOU THICK FUCKING BASTARDS !

    Iran is doing well.

    https://youtu.be/fjuWyXzKBIw

  21. The news keeps mentioning “key workers” – How many locksmiths are there in the country, FFS ?

    Oh and did they all study at Yale ?

  22. …And this absolute cunt licking bottles in a shop:

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11234017/sicko-films-himself-licking-supermarket-products-during-coronavirus-lockdown-as-piers-morgan-calls-for-him-to-be-jailed/

    I’d say Piers is being far too fair. The cunt should be hung. If I had my my way cunts who deliberately spread germs at a time of a virus outbreak should be killed, price gougers should be killed, cunts should be killed one and all.

  23. Twats are lying about symptoms in order to see a doctor….
    Morons ignoring warnings and going to parks…
    Cunts still overcrowding tube trains…
    Bastards starting bidding wars on eBay over bog rolls…

    The hordes of excrement and human vermin that live here in Britain never fail to amaze me…

  24. Pictures have revealed queues of people attempting to get one last McDonald’s fix before the chain shuts up shop across the UK due to coronavirus….

    As I said, British scum never fail to amaze me…

  25. Just watching BBC news/update, yet another 2 experts answering questions from Joe Public.
    After all the coverage over the last 3 weeks….

    1st Question… was does self isolating mean?
    3rd Question… can I go for a drive in my car?

    For fuck sake do these people actually breath on their own!

  26. The telly is fucking shite too. For sports they should replay full cricket matches (test matches from the last decade, not that 20/20 shite). Maybe some old Olympic Games/World Cups coverage from the 70s/80s (the full coverage as it was broadcast). Better than two minutes of highlights of shite which is what they’re doing. Tossers.

    Get some decent films, classic shows (Fawlty Towers etc). But no. Let’s put repeats of Loose Wimmins and Ready, Steady, Faggot on all day instead, with lashings of ‘The End is Nigh’ (BBC) in between.

  27. Apparently Boris will be making an announcement at 8:30 tonight, probably to announce tougher laws on movement and for places not shutting down as told.

    This could be something short of martial law, no big surprise given how any fuckwits have ignored social distancing and hoarding.

    Give it a week and we’ll have anarchy in the streets. Something the Far Left will be hoping for!

  28. Somebody please tell those chinky stoolies at the WHO (no Pete Townsend jokes please) that ‘epicentre’ is the place something originates, and this virus originated in China. After declaring Europe the epicentre of this virus they’re now saying it could soon be the USA. Can people with such a loose and inexact use of basic English be trusted in medical matters?

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus/u-s-could-become-coronavirus-epicenter-uk-locks-down-olympics-on-hold-idUSKBN21B1RJ?rpc=401&

    • The way to sort this shit is declare martial law, shoot a few rioters,and watch the rest melt away.
      Send in the fucking Para’s, they won’t take any shit.
      This country has been too soft for too long.
      Good afternoon.

  29. And Italy can fuck right off. One mayor used public money to launch a campaign ‘against hate’ by having people hug a chinky to prove how right on and unracist they were, Italy’s death toll is 20 times that of Britain, but another eyetie mayor is bringing his daughters back to Italy form here because he says it’s ‘unsafe’ and that Britain isn’t doing enough. Just fuck off and put your own house in order you pasta munching fascist cunt.

    https://www.foxnews.com/world/italy-mayor-flying-daughters-home-unsafe-uk-coronavirus-bergamo

    • Italy is full of planks… All that touchy feely ‘Mama Mia’ stuff has prolonged this thing… Always hugging, kissing cheeks and pinching arses…. Not to mention the overcrowded popefests…

      The Krauts may be detached and cold cunts… But it’s paying dividends for them right now…

  30. Of course there will be scores of ‘Me no speaky English but claim every benefit in the book’ cunts clogging up the system and preventing British people from getting what they need.. And that is just plain fucking wrong… The NHS Is overrun as it is due to these bastards… Imagine if every bit of ‘scratch’ these fuckers have claimed or creamed off was used for supplies like bog rolls and other things that are required… Quite simply, we have to look after our own… Most of them have never bothered to be part of things, had no intention of adapting or integrating, and have never bothered to even the language… All they have ever wanted is free money, free housing, free fucking everything… So it’s time this country got its priorities right and they fucked off…

    • Most of them have never bothered to be part of things, had no intention of adapting or integrating, and have never bothered to even learn the language…

      Fucking true and all… Fuck them…

  31. Oh yeah… Where are the right on virtue signaling couple of the year right now?
    Just what have Harry of Hewitt and Meghan Markle Fucking Ono Of Sussex said or done about this? Fuck all….

    Not Grenfell, you see… Not enough downtrodden dark types to make Markle Ono look good or get publicity… The fake fucking slag…

  32. I am in total house arrest now, cunters, The Gestapo…..sorry, I meant my sister, has told me that I must not leave home to do the big shop for my parents as I could ‘bring back the lurgy to them because of all of these fucking idiots out there’ (her words). She has taken over shopping duties and will leave our food and shit on the doorstep.

    Deep, deep joy.

    My head is wrecked already. Mum and Dad are currently bickering over how to clear the data on the fucking exercise bike screen.

    Mum (and I quote): ‘How am I supposed to know how many fucking minutes I’ve done’?

    SHOOT ME NOW.

      • If food supplies get any more difficult to get, shit on the doorstep might be what we are reduced to……so it may have its benefits!

        • My reply to the following statement (Mr Johnson ordered people to only leave their homes to shop for basic necessities “as infrequently as possible”) in a local paper: How the hell can you shop ‘infrequently’ when you have to go every day to see if you can get what you need? I’ve been trying to get a tube of tomato puree for over a fortnight, it’s easier to buy uranium. Asda are shut for 12 hours a night to restock, apparently. When my wife went in at just after 8am on Saturday the shelves were almost empty so what, precisely, was being restocked? It certainly wasn’t food.

          • Totally agree with you, moggie.

            I am having to amend our online Tesco order daily as things are constantly out of stock after having been in stock when I ordered. It’s pathetic. I went out last week to shop and had to go to three different places to get things we needed – basic things. I don’t understand how they are restocking either. My sister went when the doors opened at the weekend and there were a ton of empty shelves. This online ordering is unworkable. Three weeks to even stand a chance of getting a delivery slot. People cannot wait three weeks. They cannot cater for demand but discourage people from going out to shop.

          • There are no delivery or collection slots in my area for the foreseeable future. There is nothing on the shelves when you go grocery shopping.

            Unless something is done I predict burglary and rioting.

          • Fair fucking point Moggy, I don’t think our exalted leaders have ever been as out of touch with daily life in this country as with our current challenges of getting basics in the food cupboard.

          • Ventured forth today really expecting shelves to be bare. Skipped the larger supermarkets & tried the local small Morrisons which I don’t usually bother with.
            Pleasantly surprised to find plenty of fresh bread & milk in store…no Paracetamol or bog roll obviously but I wasn’t expecting there to be much of anything. Loads of fresh chilled meats etc on the shelves.
            What was strange was the limits on items. Of course they limit you to 2 toilet rolls etc (not that you’re gonna find one!). Picked up 2 pkts of Bacon (2 for £x) and 2 gammon steaks (2 for £x offer) – told at the till I could only have 3 meat items. What was riddiculous was there were loads on the shelves fast approaching sell by date, & I overheard staff moaning that they’d had a load more delivered & had binned loads past date, as it wasn’t shifting.
            They’d also had a shit load of fresh cream cakes, deserts & stuff delivered which had them scratching their heads.

            All tinned food & long life dried meals stripped bare. Filled the entrance with Kellogs cereal at £4 a box as all the cheap ownbrand stuff had sold out. At £4 a box for cornflakes they can fucking keep it.

  33. I find myself in a position where I am having to talk to “Grown ups like children” as a supplier we supply the NHS and various government departments materials we also supply builders and after a brainwave by the management actively targeted the general public.
    With the current issue the company is scaling back operations to key customers (the above – Joe public) but still the fucking on line ordering shit is going on, the cunts can not come in so “let us order on line”.
    I have had to explain to a couple of people that they will not be getting their floor sander, or cuprinol to do the shed because it is Non essential! I will not put my staff at risk (fucker is on maternity leave so does not count) to help them sand their floor, if they have a power cut or are flooded I am more than happy to send out generators or pumps but I am not going to risk staff for a jolly.
    Reminds me some cunt phoned in today to see if they could continue using equipment if we could not collect it, the answer was yes but you still pay chancing cunt the kit has geolocation trackers on it so we know when you are using it tempted to kill it remotely

    • People are such fucking morons, LB. What kind of message do they need to get a clue here? Semaphore? Smoke signals? Maybe Morse code.

      FUCKTARDS.

      • If you don’t mind your piss hitting boiling point Nurse, switch over to the “lockdown” thread and read mine and DCI’s comments!

        • Fuck’s sake, Bertie! My piss is indeed nuclear now!

          I can’t believe that knob is back again. Fair play to you both for challenging the cunt. I have left a fruity response of my own now.

  34. Celebrity Coronavirus updates

    A self important, ‘it’s all about me’ cunting to the world of celebrity during the apocalypse.

    Despite the rest of us worrying about our loved ones, jobs, homes and sanity, these fuckers just can’t handle not being the centre of attention for 5 minutes.

    We then get ‘treated’ to their ‘self-isolating’ videos. Some worrying that they or a family member has got a cough/loss of smell (Lineker). Others tell us how to manage our mental health (Stephen Fry).

    Well you bellends, it’s easier to manage your mental state throughout this with £20 million in the bank, isn’t it? Not so much when you’re living month to month or can last about 2 or 3 months more of this before losing your business.

    I’m not saying celebs don’t have a right to be concerned. They are humans and have families too. However, they do not have the financial or career worries that the rest of us have.

    Therefore, these cunts need to keep their gobs shut during this bollocks (well, perhaps apart from Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has produced some amusing videos). It’s as if these self entitled cunts think they have a duty to ‘inform’ us. We’ve got more problems thanks, so unless you can come up with a vaccine, stick your attention seeking attitudes up your arses.

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