Tony Blair [10]

I’d like to nominate Tony Blair for a cunting.

His utter contempt of the British people as being “too thick to decide” with regards to Brexit (and that cuts both ways against those wishing to leave as well as those wanting to remain) just exudes everything that is wrong with him and his faux left-wing cronies, i.e., “Ours is the party of the people! Now let us dictate exactly how you live because you cannot be trusted to make any decision for yourselves. Power to the people! We just don’t expect you to use it, we’ll do that for you.”

The conceited superiority of this cunt really needs slapping down! And would he have been so vocal had the result gone the other way? His way, the gravy train for him and his cronies way?

It’s no secret that Tony B.Liar had designs on the top seat in the EU with all of his toadies in tow like Mandy Mandelson and Alistair Campbell, which halted as the WMD scandal hit.

But now the cunt is back and is shilling for another seat in the EU and his vehicle is to rabble-rouse the remoaners into kicking off (not that they need much of an invitation), even after parliament has now decided and passed through that Article 50 should be invoked (House of Lords aside – another nest of unelected cunts).

The cunt has obviously been promised something from Juncker, Tusk or Verhofstadt to attempt to derail democracy because once invoked in the UK they’re bricking it that their house of cards will collapse all over them! And let’s face it, that would be no bad thing, unless you’reof the ilk of Tony Blair and his cronies!

Tony Blair, you are a cunt. An educated lawyer type of cunt (to worm you way out of shit with your smarmy legalese) but when it came to Brexit yours was one vote. When it came to Brexit, mine was one vote.

Your vote does not count more than mine just because you are a cunt of undefined proportions!

Nominated by Rebel Without a Cunt

Dave the Internet Troll

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I do apologise for our David’s behaviour. He really is an utter cunt. Takes after his father unfortunately.

David’s never been the sharpest tool in the shed. He’s always been what you would call a “problem child” very rude and disobedient from a very young age with a very strange obsession with disabled toilets. He’s never sparkled in the love department either having only one boyfriend as far as I can remember. That was a disaster as well. I remember the first time he brought Benjamin home and they went straight to David’s room. I could over hear their love talk quite clearly. Benjamin said “ooh Davy, I want you to show me something 8″ long, rock hard and full of spunk !

So Dave pulled a sock out from under his bed. It had been there for fucking months, I should know, its me what has to change his soiled sheets every week.

Nominated by: Dave’s Mum

Sperm Banks

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Sperm Banks – where the Wankers meet the Bankers

Blimey O’Reilly more trouble in the banking sector, this time the National Sperm Bank (and apparantly there is one) is running oit orf sperm. Importing sperm from legoland (Denmark cunts) and yankland to make up the deficit. Seems the fillies cannot get enough orf it, rationing ect ect, having to go private and so orn.

All doine to the fillies going self employed. Spot orf the old turkey baster in place orf a genuine bit orf cock. Such times we live in. British manhood spurned. Dyke and poofta couples and single professional women all demanding progeny but not in the time honoured fashion. Ladies, Sir Limply is at your service offering a spot orf vintage spunk at very reasonable rates.

Habitues orf this blog, this is your call to arms, your opportunity to put your wanking to the national good. The Eye alone must produce pints orf the stuff every time he does a spot orf geeking on this site. So cum orn cunters, wipe orf your keypads, suck in your bellies and tickle the old todger. Do some quantative easing and make your donation to the Wank Bank. Your country needs you.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Jerry Lewis

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Jerry Lewis, The Cunt orf Comedy

In his heyday in the fifties and sixties this prize wanker sported a greasy looking barnet with that “slicked back with me own spunk” look. Clearly the total tosser always had a ready supply on hand. In all his career on stage and in innumerable crap filums the mugging cunt has never made me laugh once. Although in fairness I did manage a little chuckle over his last coronary.

Needless to say considered a comedic legend by the French (as was Norman Wisdom by the Albanians to mark yer card) and received an “Homage” at last years Canne Film Festival. Needless to say the little circumsized cunt continues to lap up the pretentious adulation of the frog fuckers (who incidentally regard tuneless fuck Johnny Halliday as a rock god) . “Mais oui. Ve are zo out zair. Cool n’est pas. Ve zo get ‘im. Jerry is zo zo funnee you anglo fuckairs.”

Famously the cunt despises his deminishing audiences and anyone dumb enough to give the talent free zone a living. Oh how ironic mes amis. Difficult to think orf another performer so hated within his own profession (although Topol is a leading contender) for being such an irredeemable shitehole (steady on might start to admire the cunt).

Reasons to be cheerful. Jerry is now 88 and fills in his down time collecting terminal illnesses including prostate cancer, meningitis, a dodgy ticker, diabetes and drug addictions various. Now me pet vulture Gristle does not usually eat kosher but is very interested in trying this one. So tough cheddar old sports, have already nabbed the cunt for the Dead Pool.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Football

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I went to football match once. It was fucking shit. Loads of fat cunts were shouting at the retards on the pitch. I left after 10 minutes.

Nominated by: Bobby Chartcunt

Football is a boring, overrated game played by overpaid primadonnas who think they’re something fucking special just because they can kick a ball.

Nothing but surrogate warfare for brain-dead tribalist wankers. Should be fucking banned.

Nominated by: David Fuckham