ISIS Vandals

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here...

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here…

The swivel eyed ISIS wog camel shagging cunts have been hopping around and wanking orf while blowing to smithereens some orf the finest antiquities orf the ancient world, namely the temple orf Baal Shamin and other buildings at Palmyra dating back to the Bronze Age.

Extraordinary place. Got to saunter around it a bit during the desert campaign under that lanky cunt Archie Wavell v the Frogs. Correct cunts. Frogs fighting for Hitler. The Libya/Syria campaign was a particularly vicious show against the Vichy Frogs. Not much publicised at the time so not to antagonise our glorious Free Frog allies. Slap bang in the middle orf Syria and now surrounded by aforementioned ISIS wog cunts who use it to finance their scummy little schemes, genocide/world domination ect ect by flogging orf treasures piecemeal. Poor old Khaled Asaad, now Head(less) orf Antiquities at Palmyra having lorst his loaf after refusing to reveal after a month orf torture where the prize pieces were hidden.

In truth these ISIS cunts give our honourable calling a bad name. “How unfortunate, crimes against humanity ect ect, but we are powerless to do anything” bleat the limp listless liberal EU/ UN inbreeds like the Dutch, the Irish and the Dagos. Type orf cunt that will make a risk assessment before taking a piss in the desert. These cunts admit this is where huge chunks orf ISIS cashola is coming from aided and abetted by the world wide black market in antiquities fuelled by Chinko and Russkie money. Simple answer stop wasting time attempting to protect wog civilian cunts various and erect a ring orf steel around the ancient sites instead. Cut orf their money supply. You know it makes sense.

Be oit there meself quick as a wog up a camel’s arse if only I could find condoms big enough (for me shotgun cunts – keeps the sand oit me barrels).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Florence & the Machine

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Florence And The Machine are cunts…

Overhyped, tuneless, ‘this is the best British music can do’ shite… They’re not even really a band… Just that ginger bird squawking with backing musicians… Everyone’s wetting their keks because she/they are playing Glastonbury (Yah! Super! Daddy’s paying!)…

Anyone would think they were Jefferson Airplane or Blondie (circa 78/79)… And that version of ‘You’ve Got The Love’ is fucking cack…

Nominated by: Norman

Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman naked bondage photo shoot UHQ

That silly slag, Natalie Portman… another veggie fascist…

Portman said that eating a hamburger was as bad as rape….

Nah… What’s bad is being an overrated Hollywood luvvie who believes because they are famous that they are some kind of great oracle… And helping to ruin the Star Wars legacy is pretty bad too…

Oh, and while she needs some more brains and acting talent, she should grow a pair of tits while she’s at it…

Nominated by: Norman

Gala Bingo

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Ok, I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to resist the temptation. But I just can’t do it. I have to nominate GALA bingo and their fucking adverts for a cunting. We’ve all seen them. So vacuous looking bit part actor suddenly singing “GALALALA, GALALALA”. It’s inane, it’s insane, it’s fucking inducing homicidal thoughts.

I want to see the ad agency cunt who thought of these adverts decapitated, and their skull fucked by an angry baboon. I want the actors thrown into a pool full of piranhas, and I want the Chief Executives of Gala forced to wrestle a thousand hungry lions. THAT is how much I hate those fucking ads

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Meghan Trainor

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I would like to cunt that Meghan Trainor for inflicting that “All about that bass” tripe upon us, it is played several times a day and is almost unavoidable, seriously I have to control my anger like never before whenever I hear that song otherwise I’m going to end up taking it out on some poor unsuspecting bystander.

Nominated by: Mr Cunty Pants

Lyrics? What lyrics? She’s all about a lack of lyrics. If she didn’t endlessly repeat the title the shit would only last about 3 seconds. What a vast improvement that’d be.

Nominated by: Kiwicunt

Who the fuck is Meghan Trainor? Looks like a typical, soft core, peado loving, talentless, yank, gobshite, arsehole cunt to me…

Nominated by: Dioclese