Americanisms [3]

I have been saving up this nomination for months now whilst trying to write notes for it on whatever happened to be close to hand. I now have what I believe to be the best list which has ever been compiled by a human being with a grasp of the English language better than that of a four year old.

I am of course talking about the absolute abortions of spelling and grammar known as Americanisms.

So to start with:

– It’s not percentile, it’s percentage

– It’s not burglarize, it’s burgle

What’s the deal with putting a completely unnecessary Y at the end of words?

– It’s not normalcy, it’s normality

– It’s not equivalency, it’s equivalence

– It’s not relevency, it’s relevence

Also:

– It’s not worrysome, it’s worrying

– It’s not most everybody……….. on a spectrum from nobody to everybody, most everybody makes no grammatical or logical sense as those to words are mutually exclusive. It’s ALMOST EVERYBODY!!!!!!! As in NEARLY everybody.

– What the fuck does “the least worst option” even mean? Once again you have a spectrum of best to worst or least to most, you shouldn’t be hybridising (not an Americanism) spectra like that you cunts. In a given set of things, you can only have one thing that is the worst, then the second worst, then the third worst etc. To use a double negative like that is to say that it is the BEST option! The correct usage should be the least BAD option denoting that of all the bad options, that is the least bad. Cunts.

– It’s not “I could care less”, it’s I couldn’t care less. Meaning that on a caring scale of 0-10, you are at zero and it’s not possible to care any less than you already do…….. which is not at all!

– It’s not “somewhat of a rainy day”, it’s “something of a rainy day” or “a somewhat rainy day”. Somewhat is not a synonym for something, it’s a synonym for rather you cunts!

– This one really grips my shit “It’s not that big of a deal”. Aaarrgghh!!! The word big is being used like the word much and the word OF should not even be included. It’s should be either “It’s not that big a deal” or “It’s not that MUCH of a big deal”. Simple you simpering simpleton cunts.

– Factoid? What the fuck is a factoid? The suffix oid comes from the ancient greek meaning “like” – as in humanoid means human-like, cuboid mean cube-like. The factual nature of a claim is a binary concept, it either IS a fact or it ISN’T. There is only one thing which is fact-like and it’s so much like a fact we came up with a word for it and that word is FACT! We also came up with a word for illiterate Septics and that word is CUNT!

– I hate portmanteaus at the best of times (think BREXIT or BRINO) but even Septics manage to make a dog’s dinner out of portmanteaus purely because they can. Can somebody please tell what sense it makes to take two words – grip and traction (which both mean the same thing), then splice them together to create an entirely new word called gription which means………… the exact same thing as the two words that have just been dissected?

– Oh and I found the missing I from aluminum……. it seems to have turned up in the word erudite (Septics insist on pronouncing it e-ree-oo-dite).

Even WordPress agrees with me for the most part as a lot of the Americanisms I have listed here have red lines under them indicating that they are complete bollocks.

So in conclusion, Americanisms and those who use them – you are cunts.

Nominated by Two In The Stink

Ever see one of those wanky American talking head shows for the Feministas, such as that abomination ‘The View’? A typical episode from one of these excrescences will at some point feature a self satisfied, gobby guest spouting some virtual signalling, aspirational bollocks. Inevitably, Loopi Goldberg, Oompah Winfrey or whoever will then yell out ‘yeah, you go gurrrrll!’, at which point the audience will promptly start yelling and clapping on cue like maniacs.

Fucking hell, I wish the Yanks would stick this smarmy expression up their fat arses. While they’re at it, they can stick the likes of ‘right on, man’, ‘ahhsome,dude!’, ‘get my shit together’, ‘check it out’ and ‘way to go!’ right up the shitter as well. Cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Cunt of the Year [2] The results!

After much debate I am pleased to announce or is a cunt cunt of the year 2016.Judging by the comments I reckon it is Tim Farron.However Blair and Gina Miller were very close seconds.

So let us have a summary to this momentous year that was in which cuntitude become a competitive sport indeed:

The year began with a flurry of celebrity deaths which by February had reached full virtue signalling griefjacking proprtions.We then of course had the cunt fest that was the EU referendum campaign were the Remain and Leave campaign both were labelled cunts by milions across the land.The really substantial cuntitude came in the form of the reaction post referendum from those loyal servants of the people who showed what democracy hating cunts they really are.We had Farron Miller David Lammy Tony Bliar Ken Clarke Michael Heseltine Anna Soubry the late Tam Dalyell Paul Flynn and that fucking useless non-entity Owen Smith telling 52% of the population they were dumb ignorant racists who would have made Hitler proud.

Of course not to be outdone by us English the Jocks had to send in an army full of whinging cunts to claim us English were stupid and racist.From Wee Jimmy Crankie to Alex Salmond or Taggart as I call him to Angus Robertson Pete Wishart and dozens of other of the Scottish cunts went into full whinging mode all in the midst of a pointless second referendum calls in both the UK and US.

And not to outdone by us Brits the Americans had their own election which comprised of more cunts than a pornhub gang bang.And then when Trump was elected after crooked Hillary failed to endear his sociopathic personality and shaky health to the nation the liberal Hollywood retards showed their true colours.From de Niro threatening to punch Trump in the face Cher`s whinging and Rosie O`Donnell and the views incessant whinging the yanks Trumped the Brits on hissy fits.That isn`t to say we didn`t have our fair share of whinging cunts.From Damon Allman to Lily Allen and Charlotte Church Bono Eddie Izzard Bob Geldof James Corden and Saint Gary fucking Linekar and J.K Rowling to Richard “I don`t believe it”Wilson it seemed everyone in celeb land was suddenly a professor in Politics.

I would also like to give a shoutout to Dioclese who stepped down from admin duties at the very end of last year.He has served this site with disnction is indeed not a cunt as far as I can see.Without Dioclese many Cunts would have gone un cunted over the years and what a terrible loss that would be.

Anyway this was a hard contest with so many worthy recipients of this award.I miss last year when It was Corbyn Abbott and Blair fighting it out.I will leave with some of Farron`s nomination reasons for this prestigious award.I duly invite Mr Farron to do the SLS shit bucket challenge in a ceremony where he is crowned king cunt from all of us here at is a cunt.But of course after he arrives and does his challenge we will have to make the members vote again to make sure they really knew what they where voting for.

“Blair is for me, cunt of the century. Little Timmy bulbhead Farron is still my pick. He is the yardstick with which future cunts will be measured by. Such as, ten Linekers equal a Farron, there are four Farrons to an Abbot, and there are at least fifty Abbots to a Blair. You can get change for a Kinnock, two Izzards and a Lilymong, from a Hilary. Also, there are five Nadyas to the Sue Perkins. I did start wondering what a Corden was worth, then I realised it was fuck all, like a fake pound coin……”

“Tim Farron, and his stupid little face on his empty bulbous head.”

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

“My first thought was Cameron or Osborne for Project Fear. Then Sturgeon for her ridiculous Brexit posturing. Then there’s Corbyn for getting a vote of no confidence, standing for re-election and being elected by different people, then expecting the PLP to do what he tells them. Ffs!

But the crown has to go to Farron who believes that there’s a vote winning strategy in defying the will of the electorate that should finish off the Lib Dems forever!”

Nominated by Dioclese

“Hang on for a nano second.. FARRON. I mean, what is the fucking point!”

Nominated by kendo Nag

“2016 Cunts of the year…
Political cunt…. farron”

Nominated by Quislings

“Farron has to take the crown of cuntitude for now.”

Nominated by Deploy The Sausage.

Independence Day

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I just can’t let the 4th of July go by without marking it by cunting the entire nation of the United States of America. It just wouldn’t be right.

Every year, these wankers celebrate the “nations freedom and the brave men who died defending it”. That’d be the brave men who illegally invade foreign countries, stomp all over any nation that disagrees with them, and forces their dogma on the entire world. The biggest bunch of hypocritical bullshitters on the face of the planet.

The nation that “defends freedoms future” by bombing the fuck out of anyone who gets in their way.

The nation that turned up late for two world wars. Britain would would still be waiting now if it wasn’t for Pearl Harbour.

The nation that was populated by the dregs from the gutters of Europe and whose slogan was “No taxation without representation” when the British crown never received a fucking penny in taxes in the first place.

The nation that has laid claim to every invention it never invented and has rewritten history to suit its own ego. Orwell would have been proud.

Basically, a nation of cunts. Happy 4th July, you fuckers!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Americanisms

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People who adopt words and phrases that they’ve learned from watching American television programmes, because they think it’s ‘cool’ to talk that way, are cunts.

They call men and women ‘guys’. They say things like ‘no way’, and say ‘I guess’ instead of ‘I think’ or ‘I suppose’. My favourite pet hate is ‘off-of’. And they can’t stop saying ‘absolutely’. Whenever they’re asked a question, they don’t say ‘exactly’, or ‘you’re right’, or ‘that’s correct’, or even simply ‘yes’ any more, it’s always absofuckinlutely.

A nation whose version of English was derived from semi-literate Cornish sailors has nothing to teach us regarding our spoken or written language. They can’t even spell properly and haven’t yet learned the correct use of the pluperfect tense. All English people who parrot Americanisms are cunts.

Nominated by: Allan

I especially hated when cunts throughout the 90s used the word ‘Not’ because of Wayne’s World…. Like ‘I think that’s a good car – Not!’

Some tossers still use it today unfortunately (not to mention ‘We are not worthy!’ bullshit that came from the same film!)…

Other dreadful Yankisms are ‘Cowabunga!’ ‘Jack Diddly Squat’ and calling anyone ‘Dude’. I also loathe the term MILF… We all know what it means. But a sexy woman is just that, regardless of age… Putting the mother spin on it is a little too Norman Bates for my liking…

Nominated by: Norman

The yanks took the english language and raped it.

Also HTML is an Americanised cunt. Do you have any idea how many fucking times I have to type ‘center’ instead of ‘centre’ when writing this blog? Fucking hundreds, that’s how many times. It really gets on my tits!!!

Why can’t these cunts learn to spell????

Nominated by: Dioclese

Posted in USA

The United States of France

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In the wake orf the Paris killings I would remind our froggy friends that Obama takes every opportunity to remind the world that the French are America’s oldest allies. Hollande basks in Obama’s shadow. You may have taken Britain’s place at the yankee top table mes amis but as the waves orf synthetic grief sweep la belle France, is the free admission to the number one spot on the jihaddi hate list worth it? No doubt Monsewer Hollande has taken to wearing his mackintosh and crash helmet again.

We do not forget how Obama managed to forget the British involvement in the D Day landings and the liberation of France during the recent remembrance observances when the only Head orf State who had actually served during WW11, HM The Queen, was sidelined.

While I find the machine gunning of a few fucking journalists understandable, what I cannot condone is the perfectly predictable outpouring orf liberal wailing and solidarity that has followed. That is down to you, you cunts in black. Candles, cuddly toys, cliched slogans, twittershit, grieving widows snivelling to camera, France has caught the fucking spirit orf Diana. Rumours orf a free concert in Paris from Elton John. Jihaddis take note.

Obama has been pushing the line orf Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité (LEF), French spiritual founding fathers orf the American Constitution ect ect. We know that the twisted cunt hates anything British but worth reminding ourselves that the French still actually have colonies or as they like to term it “colonial relationships” and were renowned for their sadistic rule and involvement in the slave trade. Froggy political hacks queuing up to puff France and LEF. I seem to recall that the high flown ideals orf LEF soon degenerated into The Reign Of Terror. Well mes amis, you have it now.

Je suis cunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke