Fake titties

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Fake titties are cunts. Especially the saline type which look and feel about as natural sticking a couple of cricket balls to your chest with sellotape. Silicon ones are slightly better in that they feel marginally more realistic but they still don’t look right.

If there are any ladies out there thinking about having fake tits let me implore you not to do it. The only type of bloke you are going to attract with fake titties are cunts and if your present man wants you to do it then dump the cunt immediately, no trial separation, pack the cunts bags for him and give him his cards.

A nice big pair of squishy wobbly sagging tits, preferably with stretch marks are the way to go.

As for breast reductions, they are an abomination and should be outlawed.

Nominated by: Fat Rich

( Just a little something for the weekend. Ed. )

Neil Hamilton

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For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

GQ awards voters

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Tony Blair has been cunted many times on this esteemed blog. Blair is definitely a cunt. No doubt about it. But is he a philanthropist? Is he dedicated to doing good for his fellow man? Is he fuck as like!

So, dear reader, we are forced to cunt the cunts who nominated and voted for him to be awarded GQ Magazine’s Philanthropist of the Year at last night’s swanky ceremony at the Royal Opera House.

Maybe these cunts were just joking? Maybe they finally realised the meaning of irony? Maybe they’re just totally disconnected from reality (well, they do read GQ Magazine)?

On the other hand, maybe they just are a bunch of total uber-cunts.

What next? Putin awarded Peacekeeper of the Year or Clarkson Feminist of the Year maybe.

Or perhaps the Nobel Peace Prize for Obama? Oh fuck, hang a mo…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Hippies [2]

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I fucking hate hippies. When they take/steal/eat/drink/smoke something that is your’s and you complain to them it’s all “Hey! Don’t be such a breadhead, man!” and “All possession is theft!” and other such bullshit. Then they do the “Hey, it’s only a ten pound note/ a phone bill/ a pack of cigs/ a bottle of beer (and so on…). It isn’t a living thing or real life, dude!”

Then they try the “If it means that much to you, I’ll replace it…” With their whiny emotional blackmail voice in full effect: Hoping that you will say “It’s alright, forget it..” Well, bollocks to that. I came across many of these cunts in my college days (and the bastards never get their round in at the pub!).

Never ever trust a hippy!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside