ISIS Vandals

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here...

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here…

The swivel eyed ISIS wog camel shagging cunts have been hopping around and wanking orf while blowing to smithereens some orf the finest antiquities orf the ancient world, namely the temple orf Baal Shamin and other buildings at Palmyra dating back to the Bronze Age.

Extraordinary place. Got to saunter around it a bit during the desert campaign under that lanky cunt Archie Wavell v the Frogs. Correct cunts. Frogs fighting for Hitler. The Libya/Syria campaign was a particularly vicious show against the Vichy Frogs. Not much publicised at the time so not to antagonise our glorious Free Frog allies. Slap bang in the middle orf Syria and now surrounded by aforementioned ISIS wog cunts who use it to finance their scummy little schemes, genocide/world domination ect ect by flogging orf treasures piecemeal. Poor old Khaled Asaad, now Head(less) orf Antiquities at Palmyra having lorst his loaf after refusing to reveal after a month orf torture where the prize pieces were hidden.

In truth these ISIS cunts give our honourable calling a bad name. “How unfortunate, crimes against humanity ect ect, but we are powerless to do anything” bleat the limp listless liberal EU/ UN inbreeds like the Dutch, the Irish and the Dagos. Type orf cunt that will make a risk assessment before taking a piss in the desert. These cunts admit this is where huge chunks orf ISIS cashola is coming from aided and abetted by the world wide black market in antiquities fuelled by Chinko and Russkie money. Simple answer stop wasting time attempting to protect wog civilian cunts various and erect a ring orf steel around the ancient sites instead. Cut orf their money supply. You know it makes sense.

Be oit there meself quick as a wog up a camel’s arse if only I could find condoms big enough (for me shotgun cunts – keeps the sand oit me barrels).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Cunts on bikes [2]


An Open Letter To Cycling Cunts

Dear Fuckwits,
In case the penny hasn’t dropped yet,here’s why EVERYBODY despises you;

You ride around on your pathetic toys, dressed in your faggot outfits, in the mistaken belief that you are somehow “saving the planet” in fact all you do is add significantly to the sum of human misery.
You continually complain about road safety every time some cunt on a bike gets crushed under the wheels of an H.G.V. (I laugh my cock off every time!) In fact, if you just followed the accepted rules of the road like normal people, we would all be safer – you ignore traffic lights, one-way road signs, other road users, pedestrians and simple common sense.

You don’t have to pay road tax, pay insurance or even pass a test.
You get very sweaty and smelly and normally sport cunt beards.
It’s a child’s toy, you fucking moronic cunts, not a fucking sport.
You’re too fucking mean to buy a car.

It’s in the interest of your own safety to keep off the roads and pavements before the Great Backlash sees you all beaten to a bloody pulp, Cunts !

Nominated by: little lord cuntleroy

Tory supporters

In the interests of balance, I’d like to cunt moronic thick-as-shit Tory supporters who fell for the barefaced lies and baseless scaremongering of an overpaid Aussie election strategist instead of looking at the evidence.

The Tory spending plans had been dismissed by the Institute for Fiscal Studies as the most innumerate and un-costed of all the major parties. Gideot The Towel Folder failed to give an answer to how his NHS commitments would be funded despite being asked almost twenty times. IDS didn’t consider it “relevant” or “appropriate” to explain to the electorate what they would be voting for. When asked by Paxman, Chicken Dave hadn’t a clue about the level of UK borrowing – sheer arrogant incompetence from the party allegedly presenting itself as the party of fiscal responsibility.

“We delivered all our 2010 commitments and I’m proud of that” lied Cameron when everyone should have remembered the VAT rises and cuts to EMA and Child Support he implemented after categorically denying that he would do so during the 2010 campaign. “The NHS is safe with us,” lied Cameron, when even former Tory Cabinet Ministers admit that the Conservatives have to deceive the electorate over their plans to dismantle and privatise the NHS or they’d never get elected.

The Tory narrative of “Labour’s recession” was another barefaced lie (Labour did not cause the global financial crash that has affected so many other countries even more deeply than the UK), as is the ridiculous idea that the UK was “going the way of Greece”. Chicken Dave’s rather pathetic waving around of the Liam Byrne “No money left” note should have been easily dismissed as a fifty year old in-joke at the Treasury (as Chicken Dave and Gideot surely knew it to be) which had actually originated with a TORY Chancellor in 1964. The “backstabbing” story was yet another lie – if you and your sibling go for the same job, why should there be an assumption that one is automatically more entitled than the other?

Now we all know the SNP are irredeemable cunts, but Chicken Dave spent the entire indyref begging the UK to stick together, bleating about the union he loves, then having got the result he wanted, proceeded to shaft the Scots and spent the entire election campaign demonising them to such an extent that independence is now just a matter of time. Given that the Tory campaign centred around scaremongering about the break up of the union, it’s slightly fucking ironic that Chicken Dave will go down in history as the PM who put the nail in the coffin of the union by prioritising Tory lust for power ahead of everything else. Not quite the legacy he was hoping for, I’d bet. I wonder if the Queen is “purring” now?

Of course, the Labour campaign team are massive cunts too for failing to effectively rebut the kind of crass lies that even a child could recognise, but the Tory cunts who fell for that crap need their fucking heads examined. But then these are the sort of cunts who trust the Daily Mail to provide an objective assessment of the facts, so I guess they get what they fucking deserve.

Nominated by: Fred West

Neil Hamilton


For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

The Tesco Remembrance Pizza


In Flanders Fields the salami blow, between the cheeses, slice on slice…

Tesco are (as we know) monumental cunts. But their latest tasteless sales scheme takes the absolute piss… A Rememberance Pizza? With two pieces of pepperoni and an olive representing a poppy? If the lads who fought for Blighty all those years ago could see what Britain would become in 2014, I don’t think they would have bothered…

Nominated by: Norman

Tesco are indeed monumental cunts for this. I’m only surprised they didn’t market it with an even more tasteless tagline. If they could get away with selling barbecues to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima I’d bet they would do it.

Tesco were of course quick to lay the blame on “rogue employees”. (yeah… right!). Apparently the twatter crowd were quick to join in with mindless quips, which considering anyone who uses Twitter is a cunt beyond redemption comes as no surprise I suppose.

Nominated by: Captain Japseye

And this from “The Independent” …

As the image spread on Twitter people were quick to make fun, commenting things like ‘lest we forget the anchovies’ and accusing the supermarket of cashing in on a day of mourning.

“Colleagues in stores have been marking Remembrance Sunday in a number of ways and we hope customers see that their intentions in this case were entirely borne out of respect,” a Tesco spokesperson pleaded.

This is 2014 though, expect several thousand more tweets and a full apology by 5pm.