Sir Philip Dilley


Philip Cunt Dilley has been basking in the sun in Barbados whilst the people of the UK have been deluged and flooded out of their homes and livelihoods. “So what?” you ask. Well, I’ll tell you.

Dilley is the head of the Environment Agency. He earns £100,000 a year for a three day week part time job. Nice work if you can get it and Dilley certainly has! OK, so he’s been on holiday but should he have cut it short and returned home to take charge? More to the point should he have gone in the first place as it was already happening when he left?

Dilley thinks so. He emerged from his home in Marylebone to be greeted by a group of journalists apparently eager to hear about his trip to Barbados. “Did you have a nice holiday?” a reporter asked, while another following him questioned whether a beach was “the best place to be managing this crisis from”.

Dilley’s response? “I’ve been in very close contact with a whole number of people,” a tanned Sir Philip said as he walked down the road. “Everybody can’t be everywhere at the same time. I think we’ve been very effective and efficient in what we’ve been doing. There’s obviously some lessons to learn and we’ll follow those through.” One of those lessons might be not to fuck off on holiday during a crisis. Another might be to cut it short when a national crisis is in progress…

More surprisingly is that when he eventually went oop norf to survey the damage, the locals didn’t drown the fucker!

And that Liz Truss is a cunt too for not sacking him.

Nominated by: Dioclese



Don’t get me started on those fucking Yanks!

Gotta love the fact they have a World Series (Baseball) but as far as I know it is only for US & Canadian teams, fucking cunts.

And they always go on about VIP’s (very important player) and Hall Of Famers.

The US are the biggest shower of cunts on the planet

Nominated by: Boaby

Some Yanks are alright – but not the ones who start up their cars by remote control under my bedroom window at 5:15 am and then fuck off back inside to finish their coffee while the engine warms up.

The cunts don’t even live here. They work at the local airbase and rent our houses thereby pricing the locals out of the market

Why can’t they just fuck off back to their own country? If they behaved like that back home, some cunt would shoot them…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sharm El Sheikh tourists


Sharm El Sheikh is a cunt – not the place as it is a cunt infested shithole anyway. But the cunts that pack into the cheapest deal possible to get to a beach, facebook selfies of them eating 2 cent burgers and kababs, but not then wander why they cant get home as some raghead has taken out 240 souls switching bags at the airport.

And blaming the charter cheap airline, airport employees, the UK and in fact anyone but themselves, that they cannot get home.

Egypt. It started the Arab Spring, its overthrown a government, jailed Media who try to prove what cunts the are, Sharm has had a terrorist bomb PRIOR to ISIS but cunts love it as its cheap and its sunny.

Heres some advice for these people. Its cheap for a reason – and though you say you feel as safe there as you do in the Tube of London, here is the price for not going to a normal part of the world for a safe holiday.

Your kids will hate you from now on as well.

Fuck Egypt, Fuck Sharm El Sheik and any person that goes there.

Nominated by: King Cunt

Tony Blair [7]


I pray leave to move for an emergency motion under UN charter 666 to nominate the Cunt Tony Blair as being a shameless shitting himself lying spinning cunt.

You will have heard him attempt a pre emptive strike in lieu of the forthcoming Chilcunt report which will almost certainly criticise him for misleading Parliament, or at least it should if it is doing its job. He is sorry for acting on ‘Intelligence which was wrong about Saddams possession of WMD’ apparently. Well hold on right there. You see Blair you lying cunt, in actual fact there was no intelligence wrong or otherwise which claimed Saddam still possessed WMD. This was established during Alistair Campbells testimony in which he was unable to pinpoint what item of intelligence justified your bold assertion to Parliament that such possession was ‘beyond doubt’.

As a lawyer you know full well the import of such a phrase and you used it without justification. You lied in other words. If you had any intelligence which claimed this and which you acted on in good faith and which subsequently transpired to be wrong then you could be forgiven. But the fact is there was none. You are spinning a crock of shite today as if that was the case.

Fuck you , despite joining the Paedophile ridden Catholic church your concience is still eating you up as you look like a fucking skull.

Nominated by: Vermin Cunt Spotter

Jools Holland [3]


Jooooools Holland

This pretentious fat hunched back lisping cunt has been doing the same act on the BBC for at least three decades. Has showcased more than his fair share orf paedos and old musos on their last legs. Always the same production style as he lisps introductions at the camera as it pans with him across the studio taking in cunts various pretending to do sound checks. He will then join one orf said cunts on the piano which is the only excuse for him being there. Only change over the years is he now dresses all in black to try and disguise his gut. You always know when a crap has been has a record to plug when they turn up on his show.

Elvis Costello, Bryan Ferry and yes Florence and the Fucking Machine. Not to forget the mindless roots music and those ghastly New Year shows (How come this cunt has taken over from Andy Stuart?).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke