Star Wars fans [2]

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Star Wars fans are cunts…

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the original trilogy (although Return Of The Jedi was a bit shite!)… But these cunts – grown fucking adults – who dress as fucking Yoda, queue for hours to get an autograph from some unknown fucker who appeared onscreen for 10 seconds in a Stormtrooper costume in 1977, and treat the Jedi like it is a true spiritual path are complete and utter cunt trumpets…

That new villain looks like a piss-poor Darth Vader too.. Black cloak and mask? Red lightsabre? Been done and it won’t be bettered… His name is hardly menacing either… Kylo Ren? Sounds like an episode of the Ren & Stimpy Show: where the dog and cat duo learn kung-fu…

Nominated by: Norman

Emma Tapping

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Emma Tapping is a cunt…

This daft bitch shows off all over social media about her expensive 300 presents Xmas haul for her three kids, yet she’s now bleating that she doesn’t want her pictures splashed all over the papers… She has no problem rubbing her lavish spending habits in less fortunate peoples’ faces, but she cries foul when it backfires and she looks like a cunt…

Well, you know what they say: a cunt is as a cunt does…

Nominated by: Norman

Online gambling

Online-Gambling

I have to say I think online casinos and the fucking million of fucking ads deserve a good cunting.

To keep almost constant casino/gambling ads to be televised means there must be no shortage of retarded fuckers who keep feeding them money. There is a well known saying that says the house always wins fuckers and it’s true gambling retards who keep it funded. You would be better off making more effort at your day job. You will be better off in the long run…

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Charlotte Proudman

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Charlotte Proudman, what can you say? A bloke calls her ‘stunning’ in an online message and she complains about being objectified and labels the man a misogynist….

Some of them are never satisifed, are they? If he called her an ugly cow she would whine on about how horrible he was… Pays her a compliment and she still doesn’t like it…. That’s all he said: ‘You sent a stunning picture’… It’s not as if he said ‘Get your tits out, you bitch….’ If she gets hung up about that then there is really no helping her…

Some women -women born not very good looking or with some kind of disfigurement – wait for a compliment like that all their lives…. Her social media blurb states she will fight the ‘male dominance’ of porn and prostitution… Someone should tell this daft mare that the biggest and most powerful pornstars in the world are women (Nikki Benz etc)… Someone should also let her know that women/madams are in charge of some of the world’s biggest brothels…. She also called ‘male dominated’ workplaces ‘repugnant places…’ A misandrist if ever there was one…

Fact is though she is a hypocrite… The Mail (for all its faults) has rumbled her and her own comments to men online… It’s OK for her to call a lad ‘Hot Stuff’ and write ‘Ooh La La’ to another? The difference between that and a man calling her stunning is what exactly?

Nominated by: Norman

Frogs

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As a change from obnoxious celebrities, arrogant jobsworths and arsewipe politicians, I would hereby like to nominate Frogs for a cunting.

No, not the ones across the Channel with the onions, Citroens and irregular bathtimes, but the green, hopping, croaking, ribbiting amphibian variety of Frog. They are without doubt the stupidest creatures on the planet. Allow me to explain.

Taking advantage of the recent warm, dry weather, Mrs B and myself decided to go to town on our overgrown garden, transforming it from a scruffy unkempt damp wasteland into a neatly trimmed area of neat grass with neat borders and a neat pathway, all topped off with a nice big shed so that yours truly can sit and drink gallons of tea, listen to Led Zep and tinker with my ancient motorcycles. The many frogs that had been lurking in the foliage were expected to migrate happily into the garden next door which is a student rental property and therefore has a garden that resembles the inner recesses of the Amazon. Instead the dopey little cunts (frogs not students) took to retreating under my shed, emerging only to get beaten up by the dog, or subjected to Gestapo style torture sessions, courtesy of the cat, that would impress Heinrich Himmler.

One daft little bastard even leapt into the whirling blades of my strimmer and got diced. Being the sort of chap who genuinely hates harming small creatures, I naturally found this somewhat disturbing. Froggy paradise lays only a short hop through the small gap in the fence to next door but the idiotic creatures seem to prefer living in the Froggy equivalent of Pork Chop Hill or The Western Front, which makes them stupid cunts with minimal survival instincts apart from playing dead, which gets them murdered slowly and brutally by man’s best friend anyway. Stupid little fuckers!

Of course the French are indeed cunts, as are students. And the SNP….. and Russel Brand…. and Piers Morgan… etc etc

Nominated by: Mr Bastard