Talk Sport Radio

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‘Talk Sport Radio’ – Gawd help us!

For a start, by sport they mean football because thats what its about for 95% of the time. You can tune in any time of the day or night and there are fuckin’ idiots phoning in talking about ‘flat back fours’ or ‘making a run from the back’ or’ diamond formations’.

They take it so fuckin’ seriously. I really think the presenters must think to themselves ‘who are these fuckin idiots?’ but on the other hand they are keeping us in a job.

Its absolutely dire!

Nominated by: Ozmandias

Sebastian Coe [4]

Sebastian Coe exchanging fluids and bribes up the arse with Lamine Diack

Sebastian Coe exchanging fluids and bribes up the arse with Lamine Diack

The cunt Coe reminds me orf a dodgy little batman we had in camp in Germany just after the war. Could get antibiotics, cigars, whiskey, nylons or an arse for hire within the day. Same cropped hair and mouth like a piranha fish.Useful but ruthless little cunt. Also takes me back to me time in East Germany. Many a hairy chested fraulein mixing testosterone and alcohol. Hazardous times.

The story so far. A kraut journalist name orf Hajo Seppelt first broke the story orf Olympian corruption a few years back but it did not get much traction with the FIFA shenanigans going on. See [here]. Now following a report from WADA (World Anti Doping Agency) we hear allegations against the Ruskies viz state sponsored doping programmes and wholesale corruption and Ruskie goons intimidating left right and centre. All this was known, it is alleged, to Coe while he was vice president of IAAF (International Association of Athletics Federations) and hands on involved in getting the Olympics to London. Have always wondered how London landed the Olympics when usually these fair lands get sweet FA. Snouts in troughs? London officialdom looking the other way while Ivan and Ludmilla inject in the khazi?

Other items of interest. Coe was promoted as first chairman orf the FIFA Ethics Committee by our old friend and paragon orf probity, Sepp Blatter. Left that fat little job to become Vice President orf IAFF, later to take over the top job from the white as snow president orf sixteen years, Lamine Diack. Mr Diack is now apparantly in a spot orf bother regarding allegations of corruption, bribery and running a personal slush fund orf a million+ euros obtained from payments to cover up chemically enhanced athletes results. Churlish to add perhaps that Mr Coe has been in a spot orf the old soup himself regarding his six figure salary from the American sportswear company Nike which is itself linked to Mr Blatter and our friends at FIFA by allegations orf dodgy “sponsorship” deals orf various national teams and individuals in order to obtain certain lucrative World Cup rights.

Difficult to choose a cunt in such a rich field but on balance I will stick with Mr Coe if only because anyone named Sebastian sounds like he should be playing a rather sordid little pooftah in a black and white early 60s British film.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Professional Cyclists

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How to become a professional racing cyclist sportsman in just 7 days, and earn £1 million per year, for just a £100 investment.

1) Buy a second hand racing bike from ebay (must have at least 10 gears). Can easily find a suitable one for minimum £70 including delivery charges.

2) Buy a plastic head-guard cycle helmet from toys are us. Cost about £5

3) Buy a pair of pooftah-gay lycra shorts and a plain coloured sweat-shirt from George at Asda. Total cost about £20

4) To stick onto your new sweat-shirt, buy a load of iron-on corporate-logo stickers from WH Smith. (Sky, Virgin or Coka-Cola ones are best). Cost: about £5

5) Become a racing cyclist amateur by joining any council-taxpayer sponsored rainbow-cycling sport club. Cost: free

6) Open an online twitter and facebook account and blog attention-seeking stuff (photos and You Tube videos of yourself} about your new sporty cycle-racing hobby.

7) If you’re the right looking cunt, the mainstream media sports hacks will notice you within a week. You will get sponsorship to be a professional cycle-racer, and race in the next Tour de France.

Nominated by: Entopy

Stuart Lancaster

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England Head Cunt Coach Stuart Lancaster. A former PE teacher for Christ’s sake, the half jocko arsehole stuck out a loser and pillock the second I clapt me eyes upon him. Far as I can make out the little turd just wants to carry orn as if nothing has happened.

Lancaster you cunt, after this humiliation your arse is now owned by the aussies so time to do the decent thing, scrum down with the Wallabies, drop your pants and take it like a man.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke