Sports Cunt of the Year

Er… Who the fuck are these cunts?

Sports Personality of the Year – one of the most high-concentration gathering of cunts you’ll see ‘twixt this world and the next. I agree with many others who suggest the awards should be renamed – perhaps ‘De Facto Cunto’, ‘2017s Biggest Cunt who Runs on Grass’ or more simply ‘The Sporting Cunt’s Cunt’.

If you even care, the nominations for this year have been released (see how many you can identify in the above picture)

This is one of those seismic events where the cuntitude is exhibited on so many levels:

1. Hosted by the Al-BBC

2. A large hall packed with a vast array of overpaid, over-inflated egos

3. The title of the fucking award. The shortlist is always picked based upon achievement, so why the fuck argue semantics on it being the ‘sports personality’ award? What’s ‘personality’ got to do with big-mouthed virtue-signalling dour cunt Andy Mugray winning it three times? Alternatively, just make it genuinely about personality – nominate people like that snooker player who said all the Chinese are cheating cunts, or the pub-league darts player who can fire an arrow at the treble 20 directly from his arse.

4. Clare Balding wheeled out to bark her way through proceedings with all the finesse a Tourette’s sufferer on acid

5. Gary Lineker. A man whose cuntitude speaks more volumes than Franklin W. Dixon’s Hardy Boys entire back catalogue

6. The usual intersecting VTs foisted upon viewers affording coverage to the flids, the minorities, the wimminz and all the other sports which you either shake your head at in disbelief or laugh uncontrollably at the shiteness of

7. The annual mass-fellation of Usain Bolt

SPOTY is a an enormous festival of monumental cunt, by monumental cunts, for monumental cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Nico Rosberg

Nico Rosberg luckily beats Lewis Hamilton (who is a much better driver than him) because Lewis’ brand new engine blows up and costs Lewis 25 points and Lewis also messed up a few starts and lost points. Yet the German only beat Lewis by 5 points. Realising he had no chance in the future he retires and I think it’s a bit cowardly, something I wouldn’t associate with the Germans.

Anyways Nico is a good driver and has his moments of brilliance but he is lucky to be World Champion.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

Quidditch

quidditch1

I would like to cunt quidditch – not the game in the Harry Potter films but the ‘sport’ played in the real world by cunts.

It has its own official rulebook a world cup and a UK premier league is about to start up. The game is non contact and mixed gender so ideal for student types.

It’s another way for snowflakes to escape the awful world they find themselves living in. What better way to forget Brexit and The Trump than to run around with a broomstick wedged between your arse cheeks.

Wikipedia have a page on it if you can be arsed.

The tidal wave of cuntishness continues.

Nominated by: Mahatma Koat

Rugby

2015 RBS Six Nations Media Launch

Fucking rugby! The game, not the town. 6 nations time again and I keep seeing examples of this pointless cunt sport, for cunts.

At least football has finesse, but you could remove the ball from a game of rugby and it would make fuck all difference! 30 blokes running into each other for 80 minutes obviously wanting to bum or give hand jobs to anyone they can get pinned down!

Fucking pointless and I just don’t get it.

Nominated by: Lance Armstrong