Kanye West

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If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Kanye West, I would shoot Kanye West twice…

Funny to see all them wankstains at Glastonbury: all those white English folk singing along to Kanye Kunt’s set, and then all the furtive looks and awkwardness when it came to the ‘N’ word….

Nominated by: Norman

Chukka Ummuna

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So you Chukka’d in your hand, you slimy little creep? Good riddance!

But why? Well the official reason is that you don’t want the personal attacks on yourself and family that come with the job. You don’t want the scrutiny and transparency either. Well I say ‘If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of that kitchen’ because if you can’t live with all that it entails then you’re not going to be a lot of use as PM are you?

But is that the real reason Britain’s Barack Obama has pulled his bid? Nothing to do with referring to Londoner’s as ‘trash’ or slagging off ‘jetrosexuals’? Nothing to do with his comments about gangsters being ‘great entrepreneurs’? Nothing to do with him handbagging Mandleson for an endorsement on the Andrew Marr show? Nothing to do with his premature canvassing on election night before the votes were even counted? Nothing to do with him being so left wing that even the unions find him extreme?

No. It’s none of the above. I suspect it’s just because he can’t find 34 Labour MPs willing to sign his nomination paper. I wonder why?

Nominated by: Dioclese

Brian Cox [2]

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Smug Brian Cox has got to be one of the most irritating presenters on television.

Professor ? That’s a joke. He’s embarrassing to watch and should be teaching introduction to science in a primary school. He never ever gets beneath the surface of any subject, reciting the most obvious of observations and then grinning at the camera as though he knows he’s just astounded you with his wisdom.

Self-congratulatory idiot.

Those who would like to be educated about science and entertained at the same time should watch Michio Kaku. Now there’s someone who really knows what he’s talking about.

Nominated by: Allan

David Cameron [17]

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David Cameron is a spineless, hypocritical, lying, scaremongering cunt.

A cunt too scared to debate his record of failure that he chickens out of debating head-to-head with what ought to be an absolute pushover of an opponent. This smug, entitled, Bullingdon Club cunt has the audacity to allege that he kept all his promises from 2010 when he did no such thing (why has the 2010 “Contract between the Conservative Party and you” mysteriously disappeared from the Tory website and archive?). This brazen cunt lies every time he opens his mouth, hides behind the Daily Mail and The Sun (both cunted previously) and only pops up now and then to cuddle a lamb (immediately prior to its Halal slaughter no doubt) or to try to attract sympathy by endlessly mentioning his dead son, like the desperate and cynical cunt that he is.

Ken Clarke recently said that all the Tory personal attacks and dirty tracks would backfire on them. And even former Conservative Minister Portillo (has he been cunted? And if not, why not?) admits that the Tories have to lie about their intentions for the NHS otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance of getting elected:

David Cameron, former PR man for Carlton TV, is a cunt par excellence. He, Miliband and Clegg represent all that is wrong with politics – no convictions, no credibly costed policies, no credible positive messages, just glib spin, infantile scaremongering and barefaced lies. They are all cunts who treat the electorate with utter contempt, but in my opinion Cameron just edges it by virtue of his arrogant sense of entitlement.

Nominated by: Fred West

David Quantick

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Smirking, unfunny, lop-sided faced cunt often used as a talking head on ‘The Nation’s Top 50…’ list type programmes if they can’t get Stuart Maconie or Paul Morley (previously cunted).

Torture is too good for this cunt – if anyone ever spots him in the street, please punch him hard and rip his tongue out. Let’s see if he’s still smirking after that.

Nominated by: Fred West